a T 



VOICE TO YOUTH, 



ADDRESSED TO 



YOUNG MEN AND YOUNG LADIES. 



BY REV. J. M. AUSTIN 



%; 









UTICA: 
GROSH AND HUTCHINSON. 

1838. "t* 



i, e Xi^a.l 



^^f7 



Entered, according to Act of Congress, in the year 
1838, by Grosh and Hutchinson, in the Clerk's Office 
of the District Court of the United States, for the North- 
ern District of New- York. 



C. C. P. Grosh, Printer. 



CONTENTS. 

A VOICE TO YOUTH. 

Introduction. 1 

Chapter I.— The necessity of reflection. 10 

Chapter 11, — Claims on youth. 17 

Chapter III. — Formation of character. 27 

Chapter IV.— -The good opinion of others, 34 

Chapter V, — On reading. 40 

Chapter VI. — Practical observation. 54 

Chapter VII. — Independence of mind, 61 

Chapter VIIL— Politeness. 70 

Chapter IX. — Letter writing, 82 

Chapter X.~Religious opinions, 88 

Chapter XL —Treatment of reUgious erroT. 107 

A VOICE TO YOUNG MEN. 

Chapter I. — Introduction — Selection of associates. 1 17 

Chapter IL — Temptations, 125 

Chapter III.— The habits. 136 

Chapter IV.— Conversation, 161 

Chapter V. — Amusements. 173 

Chapter VI.— Dress. 181 

Chapter VII. — General demeanor. 188 



IV 

Chapter VIII.— Cultivating the mind. 201 

Chapter IX.— Establishing fixed principles. 214 

Chapter X. — Stability of purpose. 222 

Chapter XL— Politics. 230 

Chapter XII.— Marriage. 236 

A VOICE TO YOUNG LADIES. 

Chapter I. — Introduction. 253 

Chapter II. — Female influence. 261 

Chapter III. — Early associates. 277 

Chapter IV. — Forming the manners. 284 

Chapter V.— The habits. 298 

Chapter VI. — Domestic duties. 310 

Chapter VII.— Dress. . 321 

Chapter VIII.— Recreations. 332 

Chapter IX.— Mental cultivation. 341 

Chapter X.— The disposition. 350 

Chapter XL — Conversation. 358 

Chapter XIL— Self-government. 369 

Chapter XIIL— Marriage. 379 



PUBLISHERS' PREFACE. 

Though works intended for the direction and guidance 
of young gentlemen and ladies, are already very numer- 
ous, and many of them highly worthy of public patron- 
age, yet the most of them seemed objectionable to us, 
because of their religious instruction. Errors on so im- 
portant a subject, especially when addressed to the young, 
can not be too carefully guarded against, and it appeared 
to us that by the manner of presentation, as well as by 
the cheerless and terrific views presented, too many of 
these works were calculated to render religion a gloomy, 
forbidden and repulsive object to the youthful mind. — 
Others, more intent on rendering their works acceptable 
to the youthful taste as it is, than of directing that taste 
to what it should he, have altogether avoided that impor- 
tant subject — the only immutable standard of morality 
and propriety — and based their instructions on the fashion 
of this world, which passeth away in continual changes. 
With these feelings and views, and anxious to supply 
the denomination to which we belong, in particular, with 
a work to which they could not object, at least on reli- 
gious grounds, we induced Mr. Austin to undertake this 
work. It was published, in a series of articles, in the 
Evangelical Magazine and Gospel Advocate, in the years 
1837 and 1838, and met, we believe, with very general 
approbation from probably 35,000 or 40,000 readers.— 
The classes particularly addressed, have been much in- 



VI 

terested, so far as we can learn, in its perusal, and many 
have expressed much gratification on learning that it was 
to appear,, also, in a more permanent and convenient 
form. Believing that as a book it will be read again, 
with more pleasure, and as much benefit as at first — and 
that many, who had not the pleasure of perusing it as it 
appeared week by week in the Magazine and Advocate, 
will be benefited and pleased by its perusal in this form, 
it is now published in a neat volume, and offered for pub- 
lic patronage. All who wish for a gift which they can 
present to a youthful friend, without a fear of offending 
the purest literary taste, the chastest deUcacy, or the most 
fervent piety, will find it in this work. That it may be 
greatly blessed of our heavenly Father in inspiring 
a spirit of cheerful devotion, a correct taste^ and a pure 
and affectionate morality among the rising generation, 
our country's hope and pride, is the fervent prayer of 

The Publishers. 
Utica, June 1, 1838. 



A VOICE TO YOUTH. 



INTRODUCTION. 

Early youth is justly considered the most in- 
teresting and important, yet dangerous period of 
human existence. It is interesting, because of the 
innocence, the hilarity, and the zest for enjoy- 
ment, which is then evinced. The mind, like the 
morning flower, at this period, begins more fully 
to open its leaves to be impressed with the enli- 
vening rays of the sun of knowledge, and evinces 
by the gradual developement of its powers, that 
its possessor belongs to a grade of beings vastly 
more elevated than the brute creation. Youth is 
the most important time of life, inasmuch as the 
habits then begin to lay their foundations — the 
character commences its formation, and the occu- 
pation is to be chosen — upon which depend main- 
ly, the enjoyments and prosperity of after life. 
And it is the most dangerous period, because, 
ardent, volatile, inexperienced, and thirsting for 
happiness, the young are exceedingly liable to be 
seduced into wrong paths — into those fascinating, 
but fatal ways, which lead to degradation and 
wretchedness. It is at this season, that the sports 
and amusements of childhood, lose their charm 
and their influence. Childish things are put away, 
1 



2 INTRODUCTION. 

and there commences a desire, and a looking up, 
for more mature, yet more dangerous sources of 
enjoyment. 

As the gallant bark leaves the secure haven to 
go out upon the bosom of the mighty deep, with 
its snow white sails spread to the inviting wind, 
its broad flag and gay streamers floating in air- 
bounding o'er the billows " as a thing of life," and 
wholly unconscious that Ocean, in its far- regions, 
is nursing the whirlwind and the storm — so youth 
launches upon the vast sea of life, decked with the 
gay fancies of the bright morning of existence ; 
spreads the wide expanded sails of hope, and fain 
would believe that an ever-favoring breeze will 
speedily waft to prosperity and peace. But the 
young should be aware that, as the wide waste of 
waters is ploughed into the mountain wave by the 
fury of the Avind, so life is often beset by the howl- 
ing tempest of misfortune ; and that upon the one, 
as upon the other, unless they are guided by the 
pilots, wisdom and discretion, shipwrecked hopes 
and blasted anticipations must ensue. 

Young ladies and young gentlemen — I crave 
your attention for a short season, from time to 
time, as I proceed in a series of Essays, on a 
variety of subjects intimately connected with your 
Avelfare and happiness. Will you lend me a lis- 
tening ear ? Will you occasionally devote an 
hour, to hear what I have to offer upon topics, 
which you will acknowledge are of the utmost 



INTRODUCTION. 3 

ktiportance to your peace and prosperity ? Come, 
sit down with me, and in a friendly manner, we 
will converse upon those things which pertain to 
your future success in life. I am aware that, upon 
the ears of some youth, the word advice grates 
harshly. But I attribute this dislike more to the 
improper manner in which they have been in- 
structed, than to any natural bias. Parents and 
instructors often seem to imagine there is no 
method to advise the young, but in the harsh 
tones of reproof and upbraiding. And the effect 
of such a course, is to harden those whom they 
would benefit, and cause them to dislike every 
thing which comes in the form of counsel. Ad- 
vice, to be effectual, must be clothed in words of 
affection and kindness, and accompanied with a 
tender regard for the feelings of those to whom it 
is tendered ; and it should be given in such man- 
ner as not to imply the degradation of those who 
are its objects. In this manner, I think it can not 
truly be said, that, as a general rule, youth are 
averse to counsel. Nevertheless, it is well known 
that one of the common faihngs of the young, is 
to be wise in their own conceit — to imagine they 
can get along quite well of themselves, and that 
they can discover coming evils and avoid them, as 
readily as their elders in life. This wisdom, how- 
ever, is of a premature growth, and generally 
passes away as age advances ; but often, not until 
it has involved its possessor in trouble and mis- 



4 INTRODUCTIOIT. 

fortunes which sometimes extend through life. 
Hence have arisen those common sayings, that 
youth is wiser at ffteen than at thirty — i. e. in its 
own estimation— and that the first indication of 
true wisdom in the young, is, their ascertaining 
and acknowledging how little they do, in reality, 
know. 

Listen! You desire to be happy — you thirst 
for enjoyment. This is natural, and it is proper. 
God has designedly implanted this desire within 
you, and he is perfectly willing that you should 
gratify it in the proper manner ! But, remember 
that in this, as in every thing else, there is a right 
way and a wrong way to accomplish your object. 
If you adopt the right way, the desired good is 
speedily obtained and enjoyed. But if, unhap- 
pily, you select the wrong way, so far from secu- 
ring the wished for happiness, you will reap nought 
but misfortune, degradation and wretchedness. 
And in pursuing this wrong course, however you 
may imagine, for a season, under the fascinations 
which evil often assumes, that you have found the 
real enjoyment desired, you will ere long disco- 
ver — and often too late — that you have embraced 
a gilded shadow, filled with human wo, while the 
actual good is far from you. You can but per- 
ceive, therefore, the critical condition in which 
you stand, and the importance and necessity of 
obtaining counsel in regard to your future con- 
duet. 



INTRODUCTION. 5 

Were you about to travel into a far land, a 
stranger to the way, and though conscious that 
your course would be surrounded by innumerable 
dangers, yet ignorant of their nature and of the 
best means to avoid them, how anxious would 
you be to obtain information and advice ! Pru- 
dence, and the desire of self-preservation, would 
dictate the propriety of seeking some individual 
who had travelled the road, or the most danger- 
ous portions of it, and of obtaining his instruc- 
tion in relation to the nature and situation of the 
dangers, and his advice regarding measures to es- 
cape them. And what is life, but a journey to a 
distant clime, upon an untried highway? This 
important journey the young are just commenc- 
ing. Undoubtedly, in the exuberance of youth- 
ful fancy, all appears fair and bright before you. 
Vivid imagmation strews your pathway with the 
gayest and sweetest flowers of existence. How 
bright and beautiful is the future pictured to the 
young mind ! No clouds or darkness intervene to 
throw a shade of sadness on the fair prospect of 
youth's morning. 

"Gay are the flowers without a thorn, 
And bright the hues of opening day : 
Wild music lingers in its bowers — 
Grateful the fragrance of its flowers — 

And all betokens bliss. 
Hope weaves her wild enchanting song, 
And sings at every path along, 
That all shall be like tAis." 

But notwithstanding the captivating visions of the 
imagination, and the sweet whisperings of hope, 



6 iNTRODUCTIOPf. 

you well know that your way will be beset by 
many, many dangers. Appearances are often very 
deceitful. "Poisonous berries frequently look 
tempting to the appetite — ice, when it sometimes 
seems sound, if ventured upon, will break, and 
let him who is daring into the waters — and the 
wise man says, that ' wine, when it giveth its color 
in the cup, at the last biteth like a serpent, and 
stingeth like an adder.' " The rose grows in 
close proximity to the thorn, and beneath the fair- 
est flowers, sometimes nestle the poisonous rep- 
tile and the envenomed scorpion. Permit not, 
then, the beauty in which your fancy paints the 
future, to lull you into false security in respect to 
the dangers which that future conceals, or to the 
necessity of guarding yourselves against them. 
It rather becomes your safety and interest, as well 
as duty, to seek diligently for all the instruction 
and knowledge which can throw light upon your 
way, in the intricate and uneven windings of earth- 
ly existence. 

Are additional inducements necessary, to cause 
you to listen to counsel and admonition ? Look 
abroad into the world. Here is an individual who 
enjoys the respect and confidence of community. 
The aged venerate him, and " the young rise up 
and call him blessed." He has no enemies — all 
are his friends — all confide in him, all know him. 
How has he obtained this universal esteem ? — 
how has he ascended this eminence of respect ? 



INTRODUCTION. 7 

In seeking for happiness, he consulted the expe- 
rience of those who had travelled before him — he 
studied the history of his race, and marked where 
others had failed, that he might avoid their errors — 
he listened patiently to words of advice, and in 
this way, found the true path and faithfully pur- 
sued it, and is now enjoying the prosperity and 
peace to which it conducts. But another picture 
presents itself for our contemplation. There is a 
man whose condition is directly the reverse. He 
is shunned and despised by all around him. Not 
because he is poor; but because his poverty has 
been caused by profligacy and vice. The good 
avoid him as a moving pestilence — the virtuous 
point to him as a warning to their children of the 
sad effects of iniquity — and even his vicious com- 
panions are ashamed of him. Follow him in his 
miserable career. He mingles with the refuse, 
the outcasts of society ; for they alone will be- 
come his associates — he becomes familiar with 
the alms-house, the penitentiary, and finally ends 
his days in ignominy upon the gallows ! Is it not 
important to inquire into the cause of the dispa- 
rity between the condition of this man, and of the 
other, whom we noticed ? How did he become 
involved in so much infamy and wretchedness ? 
Was it his own choice !■ — did he desire and seek 
degradation and ruin ? No. In the outset of life, 
his desires were as those of the youth who is now 
perusing these lines. He wished to enjoy him- 



8 INTRODTJCTION. 

self through hfe, precisely as you do. He in- 
tended to take the best measures to accomplish 
this desire, as is now undoubtedly your determi- 
nation — and he no more foresaw or expected that 
he should end his days in infamy, the object of 
scorn and disgust, than are such thoughts now 
dwelling in your mind. But, alas ! he selected the 
wrong path ! He deemed himself very wise— ^he 
knew much better than others in more advanced 
life, where ^nd how he could obtain true enjoy- 
ment — he desired no light or instruction upon this 
subject — he turned an ear deaf as the adder's, to 
all the counsel, the advice and admonition of pa- 
rents, relatives, friends — and with headstrong and 
willing blindness, strided on in that way which 
eventually involved him in the vortex of disgrace 
and ruin ! Do you desire your condition to be- 
come like his? No — no — say one and all ! And 
yet it amounts almost to a certainty, that such, or 
similar, will be your condition, if you imitate his 
example in the commencement of life. But that 
example, I trust, you have no desire to follow; 
but rather are more wisely inclined to obtain all 
the information in your power, on those subjects 
connected intimately with your welfare and hap- 
piness. 

Hearken, then, to one who, though compara- 
tively not far advanced in years, yet may be con- 
sidered past the most dangerous period of youth — 
one who has mixed not a little with the world — 



INTRODUCTION. 9 

tasted of its sweets and its bitter — been a learner 
in the school of experience, and as usual, paid 
dearly for some of the knowledge which he has 
thus obtained — and who, not having yet, by rea- 
son of age, lost the vivid impressions thus en- 
stamped upon his mind, is enabled more readily 
to appreciate the peculiarities of your situation, 
and to realize to a good degree, the nature of the 
dangers around you. I would speak to you as a 
brother — I would warn, advise, and counsel, as 
oiie deeply interested in your welfare and pros- 
perity. I have no wish to deprive you of a single 
enjoyment, that is proper for you, as intellectual 
and moral beings — and surely as wise youth, you 
can desire to participate in none other. I shall 
make no eiforts to frighten you into compliance 
with the advice imparted ; but shall appeal exclu- 
sively to your reason, your good sense, to con- 
vince you of the propriety of doing that which 
will enhance your respectability and true happi- 
ness, and of avoiding those things which will in- 
volve you in disgrace and wretchedness — that, if 
possible, I may benefit those whom I address. 

In carrying my design into execution, I shall 
first address both sexes indiscriminately, upon 
those subjects in which it may be supposed they 
are mutually interested. In the next place, my 
remarks will be confined exclusively to those to- 
pics which pertain to young men. And lastly, 
the young ladies will be addressed. 



CHAPTER I. 

THE NECESSITY OF REFLECTION. 

By reflection, I would signify, the habit of se- 
riously and often meditating upon the various 
topics connected with youir prosperity and enjoy- 
ments. On arriving at years of understanding, 
you perceive that the race to which you belong, 
exists in company with countless grades of other 
beings. And you also discover that man is ele- 
vated far above, and is, indeed, ruler over all other 
forms of earthly existence. The cause of this 
exaltation, it can not fail to be perceived, arises 
from the superior faculties with which you are 
endowed — the intellectual and moral capacities 
which compose the mind. These mental powers 
make man all that he is — the sage, the philoso- 
pher, the mathematician, the astronomer — capa- 
ble of penetrating deep into the operations of Na- 
ture's laws — capable of converting the elements 
to his purposes, and of ascending high the infinite 
scale of attainable knowledge. Take from the 
human race these powers, and the bright chain 



THE NECESSITY OF REFLECTION. 11 

which links them to a higher world, to a more 
lofty grade of beings, is severed, and they sink to 
the level of the brutes — differing from them only 
in form and feature. For what purpose are these 
ennobling faculties bestowed upon you ? — to re- 
main idle and dormant ? Surely not. Nature 
never imparts any power but for use. To animals 
is granted instinct for their guidance and control ; 
and the dictates of this instinct, which is ever in 
active operation, they invariably follow while life 
endures. But to man has been given the higher 
power of reason, for a similar purpose — to direct 
and govern him in his intercourse with his fellow- 
beings. These mental faculties in man, should 
no more be idle, than is instinct in brutes. And 
a neglect in the one case, would be as deleterious 
to the enjoyments of its possessor, as in the other. 
The habit of exercising the mind in reflection 
upon the future, as well as the past and present, 
is one of the most valuable that can be established. 
And yet it is one, in regard to which, the young 
are extremely liable to fail. The present — the 
present — with its amusements and its gayeties, 
absorbs the greater proportion of their thoughts. 
And when they occasionally glance at the future, 
it is too often, but to dress it in the bright attire 
of the imagination — in the blooming garlands of 
lifers sweetest pleasures. I would not unneces- 
sarily overshadow present enjoyments, by the 
gloomy clouds of future anticipated evils. But 



1^ THE NECESSITY OF REFLiECtlON 

the young should bear in mind the truth of the 
stanza— 

<'The beam of the morning, the bud of the Spring, 
The promise of beauty and brightness may bring ; 
But clouds gather darkness, and, touched by the frost, 
The pride of the plant and the morning are lost. 
Thus the bright and the beautiful ever decay, 
Life's morn and life's flowers — O, they quick pass away I" 

It is important that youth should remember these 
things, because they are true ; and because a know- 
ledge of them may inspire the mind with a sense 
of the importance of frequently casting your 
thoughts into the future, to select your course of 
life, rather than to rush blindfolded along. When 
the ship approaches a dangerous coast, a " look 
out" is stationed, to warn of the approach to reef 
or breaker. So the young, in navigating the dan- 
gerous voyage of life, should establish reflection 
as the "look out," to give timely notice of those 
fatal shoals of imprudence and vice, upon which 
so many, originally possessing the brightest pros- 
pects, have been wrecked. 

There are many advantages accruing from a 
well established habit of reflection. It will ena- 
ble you to form those just conceptions of your 
nature and constitution, and of the laws by which 
they are governed, that will make you wise in re- 
gard to the true sources of your happiness. It 
will show the vast distinction between those en- 
joyments that are proper to you, as intellectual 
beings, and those belonging more expressly to 
your animal nature. Reflection will convince you 



THE NECESSITY OF REFLECTION. 13 

that your higher faculties are bestowed upon you, 
to become sources of more pure, elevated and 
lasting enjoyments, than can possibly be expe- 
rienced from the passions. It will teach you that 
the individuals who forget or overlook these evi- 
dent truths, and who depend for all their happi- 
ness, upon the indulgence of evil propensities, not 
only disgrace themselves, and the race to which 
they belong, but are deprived of all the advan- 
tages of the higher powers bestowed upon them, 
and might as well have been created the brute, as 
for any important benefit which they obtain from 
these valuable sources. It will convince you that 
those in this condition, are in a bondage, deep, 
disgraceful and miserable — a bondage to be feared 
more deeply than prisons, chains and fetters. It 
will satisfy you that "man was created for purpo- 
ses high and noble — such as angels engage in, and 
in comparison with which, all other objects sink 
into insignificance, and all other enjoyments are 
contemptible as ashes." 

Reflection is an important safe-guard in select- 
ing associates, forming habits, choosing occupa- 
tions, and, indeed, in all that concerns youth. — 
The young man or the young woman who thinks 
deeply, will act wisely. They will be aware of 
the nature of the dangers which hover around 
their path, and therefore, will act cautiously and 
safely. They will be enabled to penetrate those 
specious appearances in which vice so frequently 



14 THE NECESSITY OF REFjLECTION; 

presents itself — they will look beneath the gaudy 
veil which so often covers the deformities of sin, 
and behold the native blackness of the monster. 
They will be aware that " all is not gold that glit- 
ters," and will readily detect the gilded imitation, 
when it would occupy the place of the pure metal. 
They will weigh well the influences and the effects 
of every important step, and not be led astray by 
the deceitful devices of the transgressor. 

How few, who are now advanced in years, would 
not act materially different were they to pass over 
the track of life again ! Experience has taught 
them wisdom. In looking back upon their his- 
tory, they can clearly perceive where they have 
been mistaken, where they have failed, where they 
have acted foolishly. And could they again pass 
through life, this dearly bought wisdom would 
enable them to amend where they before had gone 
counter to their true welfare. How many, when 
it is too late, unavailingly regret, that in early 
years, they had not been more reflective and cau- 
tious. The young are now, where the aged would 
desire to be, to do better than they have done. 
But as this can not be, they willingly impart their 
wisdom and experience to youth, to enable them to 
avoid those evils which they experienced. Those 
who have failed, readily instruct you where they 
missed their way ; and all wise youth will listen 
and reflect deeply on their suggestions. Solo- 
mon says — "A wise man will hear, and will in- 



tHE NECESSITY OF REFLECTION. l5 

crease learning ; and a man of understanding shall 
attain unto wise counsels." There is no indica- 
tion more promising in youth, than a desire to 
hear counsel in regard to their future conduct. 
And when such listen to words of instruction, 
they will treasure them up as food for future medi- 
tation. 

Permit me to impress upon the mind of every 
youth who reads these lines, the importance of 
seeking for wise counsel, and of bestowing much 
thought and reflection upon all those subjects 
connected with your prosperity. Meditate not 
only on those affairs which are transacting around 
you, but upon the prospects of the future which 
open to your view. Reflect upon the sources of 
human happiness and human wo — ascertain the 
real causes of peace and satisfaction on the one 
hand, and of degradation and wretchedness on the 
other. Examine with thoughtful care, the his- 
tory of your race, and the history of those of 
your acquaintance who are advanced in years. — 
Ascertain and remember what has caused one in- 
dividual to be respected and loved, while another 
is shunned and despised. And where you per- 
ceive that others have failed, do you remedy ; for 
let it always be remembered, that the same causes 
which led others to infamy and ruin, will involve 
you in the same disastrous circumstances, if you 
place yourselves within their influence. Medi- 
tate seriously upon the dangers which surround 



16 THE NECESSITY OF REFLECTION. 

the path of the young. Were you pursuing a 
solitary road, around which you had reason to 
apprehend lurked the deadly assassin, how cau- 
tiously would you proceed — with what vigilance 
and watchfulness would you examine every object 
you approached. But remember, there are legions 
of foes hovering around the pathway of life, ready 
to assail you at every opportunity — they are the hu- 
man vices. They will beset you at every turn, 
and fasten upon you with all their accompanying 
woes, unless warded off by a firm and determined 
opposition. But let cautious reflection be your 
handmaid, and you will be enabled, in a good de- 
gree, to withstand the temptations which surround 
you, and to walk in that wise path wherein lies 
every pure earthly enjoyment. 



CHAPTER II. 

CLAIMS ON YOUTH. 



The young should be fully aware that there are 
claims upon them, of the most important and en. 
during nature. It is, therefore, highly necessary, 
that they should become acquainted with the cha- 
racter of these claims, that they may quahfy them- 
selves to discharge their demands in an efficient 
manner. 

1. Society has claims on ike Young,— In every 
civilized and well regulated community, there are 
certain important duties, of a public and general 
character, which must be properly discharged, to 
msure the safety and welfare of its members.— 
Those who now execute these trusts will soon be- 
come old and pass from the stage of life. They 
can not always remain, to instruct by their wisdom 
and guide by their counsels; but as time's un- 
ceasing wheels roll on, they recede from our view 
and no more mingle with us. - 1 look forward a 
few short years, and see the aspect of society en- 
tirely changed. The venerable fathers who have 
borne the heat and burden of the day, are drop- 
pmg, one after another, into the grave, and soon 
they will all be gone. Of those, too, who are now 



18 CLAIMS ON YOUTH. 

the acting members of society, some have passed 
the meridian of life, others are passing it, and all 
will soon be going down its decline, to mingle with 
the generations who have disappeared before them 
from this transient scene of action. To a mind 
seriously contemplating this mournful fact, it is 
an inquiry of deep interest — who are to rise up 
and fill their places ? To whom are to be com- 
mitted the invaluable interests of society ? Who 
are to sustain its responsibi'lities and discharge its 
duties ? You anticipate the answer."* It is upon 
the young that these duties and responsibilities 
will devolve. You will soon be called to occupy 
all the various stations now held by those more 
advanced in life. You will become parents, and 
guardians, and directors, in all that pertains to the 
welfare of society. Soon will it depend upon you 
to determine, whether religion, morality and virtue 
shall prevail and shed their benign influences upon 
community, or whether infidelity, immorality and 
deep corruption, shall blight all that is valuable 
in our midst. Soon will it be your prerogative to 
declare, whether institutions of learning shall be 
fostered and multiplied, sending their light into 
the dark abodes of ignorance and raising man to 
that elevation in knowledge for which his facul- 
ties so eminently fit him, or whether the darkness 
and ignorance of ancient times, with all their fol- 

* Hawes' Lectures. 



CLAIMS ON YOtJTH. 19 

lies, their superstitions and wretchedness, shall 
return and shut out the beams of science and art, 
and plunge this happy land into degradation and 
ruin. Soon will it be with you to decide, whether 
wholesome restraints, good order, harmony and 
peace, shall prevail and continue to impart their 
blessings, or whether all shall be unbridled profli- 
gacy and wild anarchy. Soon will it be in your 
power to perpetuate and hand down to succeeding 
generations, those wonderful improvements in the 
arts and sciences, and all that pertains to our pros- 
perity which have so eminently characterized the 
present age, and which are sending their blessings 
to earth's far ends, or whether the spirit of im- 
provement shall be arrested in its valuable career, 
all anticipations of future exaltation and perfec- 
tion be cut off, and the mind, with all its high 
capabilities, made to stagnate in stupid indolence ! 
In fine, all those interests which render life a bless- 
sing, will ere long come into the keeping and con- 
trol, and be at the disposal of those who are noAv 
young. 

Do you not, then, perceive that society has 
claims, deep, abiding, important claims upon you ? 
And how will you answer them ? Surely I can 
receive but one reply to this inquiry, from all 
youth of reflection and forethought. You un- 
doubtedly discover the propriety, yea, the urgent 
necessity of preparing to discharge these claims 
with honor to yourselves and advantage to your 



Sd CLAIMS ON YOUTH. 

fellow -beings. It becomes you, therefore, to study 
diligently the character of our government and the 
genius of our institutions — to meditate upon the 
peculiar nature of the privileges and blessings 
which we, as a people, enjoy — to reflect upon the 
nature of the true interests of society, and of the 
most efficient modes of forwarding them- As a 
spur to these duties, you have but to reflect upon 
the immense sacrifice of treasure and of life, by 
which our numerous high advantages were ob- 
tained. The blood of our fathers cries to us from 
the stained battle-fields of old, to cherish " as the 
gipple of the eye," those exalted privileges, which 
it was shed to obtain. To this voice you will not 
turn a deaf ear. Permit not selfishness to chill 
your energies in this work of preparation. Let 
it be remembered that you are bound by a thou- 
sand ties, to your fellow-beings — your interests 
and enjoyments are indissolubly interwoven with 
theirs — and, therefore, in discharging public du- 
ties, and advancing public prosperity, you are but 
securing your own welfare and happiness. " He 
who does no- good, gets none. He who cares not 
for others, will soon find that others will not care 
for him." He who neglects public interests, has 
no just right to expect that the public will cherish 
his ; and the tendency of such neglect, is to pro- 
duce this result. 

2. The world has claims upon the youth of this 
land. — Here, under the blessings of Heaven, our 



CliAlMS ON YOUTH. §1 

fathers were enabled to establish a government 
upon the broad principles of civil and religious 
freedom. Here man enjoys all those rights to 
which, as an intellectual, religious and social be- 
ing, he is entitled by nature and immutable equity. 
Kere we are blessed with every privilege and with 
every means of comfort and happiness that can be 
expected in this imperfect state of existence. Here 
we enjoy liberty of speech, liberty of the press, 
liberty on all matters connected with religion, 
liberty in every respect, as far as accountable be- 
ings can possess it. 

But let it be remembered that here onlyy are 
these privileges enjoyed. In every other section 
of the globe, mankind are deprived, to a greater 
or less extent, of these blessings of freedom.— 
Except in this land, justice, equality and liberty, 
in their true acceptation, are unknown on earth ; 
and man's dearest rights are trampled beneath the 
iron hoof of tyranny ! Among the greater pro- 
portion of mankind, all that elevates human na- 
ture, and causes it to put forth its high powers 
and capabilities, is wanting. Now if the nations 
of the earth are ever to become emancipated, it 
must be accomplished by the spirit which goes 
forth from this people — by the exmnple which the 
inhabitants of these United States, set before the 
world. Let the flame of liberty which has been 
kindled in this land, continue to burn in its pris- 
tine splendor, and in due time, its pure and holy 



22 CLAIMS ON YOUTH. 

light will penetrate and dispel the darkness of 
other hemispheres. It will flash from land to land, 
from shore to shore, from the rivers even unto the 
ends of the earth — until man, every where, shall 
enjoy all those rights which his Creator has made 
him capable of exercising. But if the principles 
of freedom here established, become neglected — 
if the love for its blessings be swallowed up by 
selfishness, ignorance or corruption — the sacred 
flame will be quenched in darkness, the hopes of 
millions will expire,, and earth again become a 
universal Aceldama ! 

And upon whom depends the preservation and 
perpetuity of our free institutions ? Upon the 
youngs does this high responsibility rest! Our 
fathers obtained the invaluable boon of liberty, by 
their suflerings and perseverance ; and it devolves 
upon the generation now coming upon the stage 
of action, to determine the question, whether their 
toils and blood shall prove unavailing, or whether 
the fruits of their labor shall descend to posterity. 
Upon the young of the present age, depends to a 
great degree, the solution of the important pro- 
blem, whether man is capable of governing him- 
self — capable of enjoying liberty, without licen- 
tiousness and anarchy — or whether he can only 
be restrained by tyranny and oppression. This 
great experiment is now in progress ; and the eyes 
of the philahthropist and the patriot — the eyes of 
the enslaved and the oppressed, throughout the 



CLAIMS ON YOUTH. 23 

world — are turned towards this land, and fixed, 
intensely fixed upon the young especially ! With 
deep anxiety do they watch for every indication 
which shall develope the nature of the principles 
which are cherished, and which will, ere long, be 
brought into a testing activity, by the youth of 
this Union. 

The world, thus, has claims — important claims — 
upon the young of this nation — claims recognized 
by philanthropy and humanity. The voice of en- 
slaved millions, comes up on every breeze, be- 
seeching the young, who are soon to become the 
pillars of our republic, to cherish and feed that 
flame of freedom, whose light they behold at a 
far distance, until they shall be enabled to bask in 
its grateful beams. Will you not listen to these 
cries ? — will you not recognize these claims, and 
be admonished of the importance of the position 
which you occupy ? " Never, since the creation, 
were the youth of any age or country, so imperi- 
ously called upon to exert themselves, as those of 
this country. Never, before, were there so many 
important interests at stake. Never were such 
immense results depending upon a generation of 
men, as upon that which is now approaching the 
stage of action. The rising millions of this land, 
are destined, according to all human probability, 
to form by far the greatest nation that ever con- 
stituted an entire community of freemen, since 
the world began. To form the character of these 



24 CLAIMS ON TOUTEf. 

millions, involves a greater amount of responsi- 
bility, individual and collective, than any other 
work to which humanity has ever been called, 
NoM^, it is for you, my young friends, to deter- 
mine whether these weighty responsibilities shall 
be fulfilled. It is for you to decide, whether this 
greatest of free nations, shall at the same time be 
the best.^^^ How important that the young should 
qualify themselves for the discharge of the high 
responsibilities thus resting upon them ! How im- 
portant that they should study the nature of en- 
lightened hberty, and of the most eifectual means 
of perpetuating our valuable institutions, with all 
their increasing blessings, down to posterity !f 

* Young Man's Guide. 

t Let not the ladies imagine the remarks under this 
and the preceding heads, inapplicable to themselves. I 
deem them highly appropriate to their consideration.— 
Although it would be improper for them to become poli- 
ticians, in the general acceptation of that word — yet that 
they can exert a powerful and enduring influence, either 
for good or evil, upon the institutions of our country, is 
an undoubted truth. They can most sensibly affect the 
characters of brothers, husbands and especially sons. — 
They can influence them to public virtue and useful- 
ness — to an interest in the welfare of the nation and the 
rights of mankind — or stupify them into negligence and 
inattention. In what work more worthy and important^ 
can a mother engage, than instilling into the mind of a 
son, a love for the public good, and for the principles of 
civil and religious liberty ! Let females, therefore, be 
interested in these topics, as subjects with which their 
happiness is intimately blended. Every woman should 
become familiar with the principles of our system of 
government, and with those peculiar characteristics which 
render it preferable to all other forms. 



CLAIMS ON YOUTH. SS 

3. Your Maker has claims upon yow.— These 
claims are paramount to all others. He has given 
you life, sensation, and all the high endowments 
and capabilities which you possess. He has great- 
ly elevated you in the vast scale of being, and 
given you dominion over all other forms of earthly 
existence. He has bestowed upon you numerous 
advantages in political and religious respects — 
permitting you to exist under the sway of just and 
equitable laws, which insure you " liberty and the 
pursuit of happiness," and enable you to worship 
God as your conscience dictates. In the land 
where your lot has been cast, every thing that can 
conduce to human improvement, elevation and 
happiness, is profusely scattered round. These 
blessings have come from the goodness of your 
Creator. Unsolicited and unmerited on your part, 
has he thus lavished the highest of earthly favors 
upon you ; and you are honestly indebted to him 
for them. The Deity, therefore, has lasting claims 
upon you, to discharge this debt, as far as your 
capabilities and opportunities will allow. In re- 
turn for his gifts, he claims of you a due cultiva- 
tion and exercise of your intellectual and moral 
faculties. He bestowed them upon you, not to 
He dormant, but for activity and improvement; 
and that activity and improvement he claims. He 
has claims upon your gratitude, your veneration 
and love, for his continued kindness and his ten- 
der mercies. He has, also, claims upon your 



26 CLAIMS ON YOUTH. 

obedience. His laws are instituted and exercised 
ovei- the children of men, not for their injury, but 
for their benefit — to lead them into paths of peace 
and happiness ; and he has therefore every just 
right to demand the obedience of mankind. — 
These claims of the Creator, exist properly against 
you. They grow out of the nature of the bene- 
fits conferred upon you. And such is the cha- 
racter and undoubted value of the favors granted, 
that he is justified in urging and enforcing these 
claims, if we do not fulfil them voluntarily. And 
what renders these claims still more worthy your 
consideration, and portrays the goodness of God 
in characters surpassingly lovely, is, that in com- 
plying with them, you are only doing that which 
improves your character, enlarges your mind, and 
ministers greatly to your true enjoyments. 

Let your minds become impressed with the im- 
portance of the claims which I have thus briefly 
brought to your notice. Reflect upon their cha- 
racter, the grounds upon which they rest, and the 
influence which their fulfilment will exercise upon 
your own happiness, and the welfare of your fel- 
low-beings. And let the spirit arise within you, 
to meet their demands with that energy and fidelity 
which is the best guaranty of success. 



CHAPTER in. 

FORMATION OF CHARACTER. 

That a good character is to be prized above all 
Other earthly considerations, is a position which 
few will controvert. To a young man, it is the 
foundation- — and the only sure one — upon which 
he can rationally base any expectation of future 
j*espectability and prosperity. Youth should not 
believe they can arise to eminence in any call- 
ing or profession — in any situation or condition in 
life-^without possessing a good character. Who- 
ever cherishes such anticipation, is most certainly 
doomed to bitter disappointment. As reasonably 
can they expect to " gather grapes of thorns, or 
figs of thistles." 

The young man who is studiously intent on 
establishing a good character, may be considered 
rich, although destitute of property. He is rich 
in the esteem of community — rich in the confi- 
dence and trust reposed in him, by all to whom 
he^ is known — rich in possessing the good wishes, 
and in receiving the kind offices of those around 
him — rich in the assistance cheerfully granted him 
in the hour of misfortune, the most readily by those 
whp best know his worth. But without a good 



§8 FORMATION OF CHARACf^Rv 

character, and without a desire to obtain one, a 
young man is in reality, poor, though possessing 
the wealth of the Indies. He is poor in every 
consideration wherein the other is rich. Poor in 
the respect, trust and confidence of others — poor 
in every thing that can render life happy or desi- 
rable, to an intellectual being. The conscious- 
ness which he carries about with him, that he is 
despised by the virtuous and respectable, is a sting 
that will embitter his days. 

In meditating plans for his future prosperity, 
the young man should consider a good character, 
as the first important acquisition to be secured. 
If he makes a mistake here — if he views charac- 
ter as an indifferent consideration — a matter of no 
consequence, worthy of no thought or exertion — 
his condition is extremely precarious. He has 
turned his face toward the downward path of dis- 
honor and wretchedness — he has already taken 
one long step therein — and unless he speedily 
changes his course, and rectifies this primary 
error, his career will be one of disappointment 
and ruin. Reflect, for one moment. Suppose a 
young man is known to be a spendthrift— known 
to be ignorant, indolent, dishonest, intemperate 
and vicious — what are his prospects ? Who will 
repose confidence in him, or trust him, or en- 
courage him, or stand by him in the hour of mis- 
fortune, or aid him in times of trial? On the 
other hand, let it be known that a youth is well 



FORMATION OF CHARACTER. 29 

infonned, industrious, economical, strictly temper- 
ate and moral, and the whole community ai*e his 
friends — all are ready to employ him, and assist 
him to rise to circumstances of competency.-— 
Between these two conditions, every wise young 
man will rightly choose the latter in preference to 
that of the former ; and must, therefore, perceive 
the immense importance of a good character, and 
the great necessity of striving to obtain it. 

Fair reader, need I speak of the vast importance 
of a good character to the young lady ? Need I 
say, it is her all — that with it, she is every thing, 
and without it, nothing — yea, worse than nothing ? 
These propositions are so plain, that, it would 
seem, all young ladies must be aware of their pro- 
priety ! If not, one moment's reflection must 
satisfy them of their truth. Let it be known that 
a young lady is idle and uninformed — that she is 
fond of gossiping and " spinning street yarn," 
rather than of engaging in some laudable means 
of industry — that she is better acquainted with the 
heroes and heroines of silly novels, than the rules 
of housewifery and domestic economy — that her 
virtue, honesty and veracity are suspected — and 
who does not perceive that, with such a name, her 
prospects of forming an eligible connexion, and 
of prospering in life, are entirely destroyed ? But 
one whose character is the reverse of this — who is 
intelligent, prudent, industrious and virtuous, has 
every advantage of which the other is deprived. 



30 FORMATION OF CHARACTER* 

The necessity, therefore, of a good character^ 
both to young ladies and gentlemen, must be per- 
fectly obvious. And how is such a character to 
be obtained ? Can you inherit it, as you do your 
name ? Can you purchase it with gold, or obtain 
possession of it by theft ? No — no. A good cha- 
racter must he, formed — it must be made — it must 
be huilt up, by your own individual exertions ! If 
you are negligent or indifferent in regard to this 
subject — if you leave the character to form itself, 
as chance may direct — " if, instead of exerting 
reflection for this valuable purpose, you deliver 
yourselves up at so critical a time, to sloth and 
pleasure — if you refuse to listen to any counsellor 
but humor, or attend to any pursuit except that 
of amusement — if you allow yourselves to float 
loose and careless on the tide of life, ready to re- 
ceive any direction which the current of fashion, 
or of licentiousness, may chance to give you — 
what can you expect to follow from such begin- 
nings ? While so many around you are under- 
going the sad consequences of a like indiscretion, 
for what reason shall not those consequences ex- 
tend to you? Can you attain success without 
that preparation, and escape dangers without that 
precaution, which are required of others ? Will 
prosperity and happiness grow up to you of its 
own accord, and solicit your acceptance, when to 
the rest of mankind, it is the fruit of long culti- 
vation, and the acquisition of labor and care ? 



FORMATION OF CHARACTER. 31 

Deceive not yourselves with such hopes."* I re- 
peat, the character must be made — it must be a 
work — and a work, too, of meditation and fore- 
thought. 

^ The characteristics by which you desire to be 
distinguished through hfe, should be selected by 
your own well exercised judgment, and establish- 
ed by your industry and perseverance. Ask your- 
selves what character you would like to possess 
before the world ? — whether you would be re- 
spected or despised, by the good and virtuous ? — 
and act in accordance to your decision. And re- 
member, all the excellence of character you ob- 
tain, must be the fruit of your own labor — the re- 
sult of your own exertions. Friends may cheer 
and encourage you, but they can not do this work 
for you. They can not be industrious, or virtu- 
ous, or well informed, or honest, in your place. 
These characteristics, if you possess them at all, 
you must obtain by the diligent exercise of your 
own faculties and advantages. 

To arrive at excellence of character, it is well 
to adopt models for imitation. Think of some 
individuals, the excellencies of whose characters 
you would be pleased to possess. And let not 
these standards be low ones. They should be 
high — they had far better be too high, than too 
low. It is an old proverb, that although he who 

* Blair. 



32 FORMATION OF CHARACTER. 

aims at the sun, will not reach it, yet his arrow 
will fly much higher, than if aimed at an object 
on a level with himself. So in the formation of 
character. Let your models be exalted ones ; and 
although you may possibly fail of reaching their 
elevation, yet, undoubtedly you will ascend much 
higher, than had you selected some inferior pat- 
terns. Let your models be frequently before your 
mind — imitate the conduct and disposition which 
characterized those you would copy after — mark 
the course which they took to obtain their good 
names, and do thou likewise. 

I can not better close this subject, than in thB 
words of the lamented Wirt. " Take it for grant- 
ed that there is no excellence without great labor. 
No mere aspirations for eminence, however ardent, 
will do the business. Wishing and sighing, and 
imagining and dreaming of greatness, will never 
make you great or respectable. If you would get 
to the mountain's top on which the temple of fame 
stands, it will not do to stand still, looking, and 
admiring, and wishing you were there. You 
must gird up your loins, and go to work with all 
the indomitable energy of Hannibal scaling the 
Alps. We can not all be Franklins, it is true ; 
but by imitating his mental habits and unwearied 
industry, we may reach an eminence we should 
never otherwise obtain. Nor would he have been 
the Franklin he was, if he had permitted himself 
to be discouraged by the reflectron that we can 



FORMATION OF CHARACTER. 33 

act all be Newtons ! It is our business to make 
the most of our own talents and opportunities ; 
and instead of discouraging ourselves by compari- 
sons and impossibilities, to believe all things ima- 
ginable, possible ; as, indeed, almost all things are, 
to a spirit bravely and firmly resolved," 



CHAPTER, IV. 

THE GOOD OPINION OF OTHERS. 

There is no emotion more natural, and none 
more proper, than the desire to be thought well of, 
by others around us. This wish, cherished by the 
young, with proper restrictions, and brought con- 
sistently to bear on the conduct, will become as a 
kind of guard to screen them from many improprie- 
ties and their accompanying evils. Those young 
people, who are inspired with the laudable desire 
so to demean themselves as to obtain the approba- 
tion and respect of community, may be considered 
as walking in a safer path, than those who have no 
such inclination. It will cause them to become 
circumspect and watchful in all their conduct — to 
be careful what they do, and what they say, and 
what disposition they exhibit in their intercourse 
with the world ; and will induce them to listen se- 
riously to any faults that may be suggested as at- 
tached to their conduct. Wise youth are willing 
to have their failings pointed out. And when a- 
fault is asserted to pertain to them, whether it is 
detected by a friend or an enemy, they will search, 
and candidly ask themselves whether it does in 
reality exist ; and if they perceive that it does, 



t 



THE GOOD OPIjSION OF OTHERS. 35 

they will take energetic measures to free them- 
selves from its contaminations. I have often ex- 
pressed the opinion, that if enemies are of no other 
benefit, they are sometimes of great service in de- 
tecting and exposing our aberrations from duty. 
Their Avatchful eyes are upon us — they are ever 
upon the alert to blazon our short-comings to the 
world. And a sense of their scrutiny will influ- 
ence us to assume a cautiousness in our proceed- 
ings, which can not but be highly salutary. 

A proper desire to be commended by our fel- 
low-beings, should be cherished by every youth. 
A want of it produces consequences extremely 
deleterious. When young ladies or young gen- 
tlemen, arrive at such a state, as to exclaim, in re- 
ference to their moral conduct, '■'' I care not what 
others think — / care not for the opinions of those 
around me" — it indicates a dangerous state. It 
shows their feehngs to be so hardened, that they 
are ripe for the works of sin and degradation — it 
predicts a condition of moral callousness, which, 
unless removed speedily, will lead to pollution and 
its unavoidable wretchedness, ^'^ I donH care^''' is 
a bad expression for the young of either sex. It 
is not only immodest ^nd reprehensible in itself, 
but, if indulged in, and followed in its influences, 
it will ere long, involve you in those disastrous 
circumstances, where you will care — and that too, 
when it perhaps is too late to avoid the painful 
consequences of your blindness, 



36 THE GOOD OPINION OF OTHERS. 

In so conducting as to gain the good opinion of 
Others, you should exercise proper discrimination 
as to whose commendation you would merit. You 
should not endeavor to obtain in your conduct, the 
applause of the drunkard ; because to do so, you 
must uphold and imitate his intemperance — or of 
the gambler, the thief, the spendthrift, or the 
idler — for they will not approbate you, unless 
you follow them in their transgressions. Neither 
should it be your effort to secure the approbation 
of the proud, the vain, or the scornful. But the 
good opinion, in all moral respects, of the wise, 
virtuous and benevolent, it should be your ambi- 
tion to secure. This, however, should not be the 
moving cause of living a virtuous life. The main 
influence to such a life, should be of a higher cha- 
racter, even the value of virtue itself, and the bene- 
ficial effects which its faithful practice will confer 
upon you. But in shaping your conduct, let it 
be characterized by those principles, that will be 
approved by the discreet, the upright and expe- 
rienced of society. 

Let not this subject be misunderstood. It is 
one thing, so to conduct as to acquire the respect 
of the public— but another and quite different 
thing, to shape your proceedings /or the sole pur- 
pose of obtaining public favor or popularity. — 
While the former is to be approbated, the latter 
should be decidedly avoided. I know of no indi- 
viduals whos^ conduct and example are more to 



THE GOOD OPINION OF OTHERS. 37 

fee despised and avoided, than confirmed seekers 
after popularity — those people who form their 
opinions and give support to religious or political 
sentiments and measures, with no other objects in 
view, but to gain the applause of the multitude, 
and the smiles of the wealthy and fashionable. 
Individuals of this character, can not properly be 
said to ipossess principles, or to be guided by them,. 
Their only rule and motive of action is policy — 
their only study the highest effort of their mental 
powers is, to shape their course, as to float, like 
the empty bubble or the worthless weed, on the 
surface of the flowing. tide of popularity. Nei- 
ther is there any dependence to be placed upon 
them. Having no love of truth and principle to 
insure their stability, to-day they are with this, 
party or sect, to-morrow with that — now they are 
warm advocates of these sentiments or measures, 
and, anon, as zealously the friends of those di- 
rectly the reverse — as they are swayed about by 
the contradictory winds of fluctuating interest, or 
public favor ! People of this description are to be 
pitied for their weakness and folly, and their vas- 
cillating example is to be avoided by all who would 
be truly respected^ — by all who would vindicate the 
position, that there is such a thing as principle 
among men, and that the human mind can be go- 
verned by it.* 

"" The class to which I refer, is mainly composed of 
those whose minds are so weak, that they are not capa- 



OQ THE GOOD OFIISTIOJV OF OTHERS. 

Their example^ I repeat, should be shunned, as 
derogatory to human nature, and detrimental to 
the best interests of society. In forming your 
opinions, on any subject, let reason and conscience 
be your guides. In this respect you should not 
be swayed by the good or bad opinions, which 
others will thus be led to entertain of you ; but 
solely by your reason. If a proposition or a sen- 
timent, on a careful and candid examination, ap- 
pears consistent and reasonable, adopt and sup- 
port it, whether it is believed by many or few. If,, 
on the contrary, it appears unreasonable, reject it,, 
even though adopted by the whole world beside.. 
This is the only safe rule which you, as reasona- 
ble beings, can adopt — it is the only manly, honor- 
able and consistent course you can follow. But 
in allowing interest, numbers, or popularity, to 
have an influence informing or biassing your opin- 
ions, you throw down all the safe guard with which 
your Maker has graciously provided you, and are 
liable to become the dupe of every error that wears 
a gilded dress. 

Permit me to repeat, that your moral conduct 
should be of such character as to gain for you the 

ble of forming a definite opinion upon any subject of im- 
portance— those who are so bound up in self, as to be 
indifferent what principles prevail, so that their ends are 
accomplished — and those who are better pleased to have 
error and vice spread through community, than truth 
and virtue, provided their interests are as equally enhanc? 
ed by the former as the latter. 



THfi GOOB OPINION OF OTHERS. 39 

good opinion of the virtuous and upright. But 
in forming opinions, and in supporting measures, 
assert the high prerogative of your nature, and 
judge for yourselves, without respect to others. 
Be certain that you act from honest and conscien- 
tious motives — that your only object is to obtain 
truth — and trust the result to a righteous Provi- 
dence. Whether those around you approve or 
reject, you w^ill possess that which they can never 
give or take away — 

" The soul's calm sunsfaine, and the Jbeaa-tfelt joy." 



CHAPTER V. 

ON READING. 

That is a most extraordinary art, reader, by 
which I am now communicating my thoughts to 
you, although perhaps a thousand miles intervene 
between us, with as much ease and accuracy, as 
though you were in my immediate presence. — 
This operation, to one who is a stranger to the 
method of its performance, would appear the work 
of supernatural agents. A late writer, in descri- 
bing the inhabitants of one of the remote islands 
of the Pacific Ocean, states that they had no con- 
ception of the arts of writing or reading. When 
informed that one person can communicate his 
thoughts to another, without voice, or gesture, or 
without being in his presence, they utterly dis- 
credited the assertion. But after repeated experi- 
ments, becoming fully satisfied of its truth, yet 
veiwing it as a work transcending all human power, 
they alleged that it must have been accomplished 
by necromancy. 

The art of communicating ideas by inscribing 
visible characters, is of very ancient date. In its 
first stage, it consisted merely in drawing a rough 



ON READING. 41 

sketch or outline of the object, in regard to which 
the communication was made. From this state 
the art was advanced to the use of more systemi- 
zed hieroglyphics ; and from these, gradually im- 
proved to our present system of writing . Previous 
to the invention of the art of printing, books were 
multiplied only by the pen — a work s6 laborious 
and slow, as to cause them to be few in number, 
and of immense value. So scarce were books, 
that ambassadors were once expressly sent from 
France to Rome, to obtain a copy of Cicero's Ora- 
tions, and Quintilian's Institutes. The library of 
the Bishop of Winchester, in 1494, contained but 
parts of seventeen books.; and on his borrowing a 
copy of the Scriptures from the neighboring con- 
vent of St. Swithin, he had to give a heavy bond, 
drawn up with great solemnity, that he would re- 
turn it uninjured. If any one gave a book to a 
convent or monastery, it was supposed to confer 
everlasting salvation upon him. Previous to the 
year 1300, the library of Oxford University con- 
sisted only of a few tracts, which were carefully 
locked in a small chest, or else chained, lest they 
should be carried away. 

There are two prominent objects in reading, 
viz : — amusement, and the acquisition of valuable 
knowledge. These, if possible, should be com- 
bined into one. No volume should be perused 
for amusement, which does not instruct as well as 
delight. And all publications of an instructive 



42 ON READING. 

character, will amuse and please the mind, when 
read with a proper thirst for its lessons of wis- 
dom. It should be the desire of every youth, of 
both sexes, to acquire a hahit, or taste for reading. 
This habit will soon become one of the highest 
sources of enjoyment. But it must be acquired 
young. If it is not established before the age of 
twenty-five or thirty, the probability is, that it will 
not be at all ; and the individual in this condition, 
will be cut oif from one of the most valuable sour- 
ces of knowledge and improvement. You should 
read, not only for the pleasure which it affords 
you, but to obtaiii practical information, and to 
enlarge and eiilighten your views on those sub- 
jects intimately connected with your welfare, and 
the interests of your race. You should read to 
" multiply your ideas, correct your errors, erase 
your prejudices, purify your principles, and that 
you may settle .down on the everlasting founda- 
tion of truth, in all things." 

A well established habit of reading, bestows 
benefits innumerable. The young lady or gen- 
tleman p.QSsessing this habit, gives fair promise of 
future respectability and usefulness. There is 
little reason to apprehend that they will become 
profligate or vicious. Examine the victims of 
crime — the inmates of prisons — and, as a general 
Ifule, it will be discovered, that in youth they were 
averse to reading. In perusing useful publica- 
tions, the youthful mind is elevated above the in-' 



ON READING. 43 

fluence of vicious passions, and is absolved from 
their contaminations. 

Through the medium of books, you can live, 
as it were, in all past ages. You can enter the 
presence of th« wise and the great of antiquity-— 
you can listen to their lessons of instruction — trea- 
sure up the fruits of their research and experience, 
and thus make them your immediate instructors. 
In books you have at your disposal the history of 
your race. You can range over its ample extent — 
beholding here, the corroding influence of wealth 
without just principles — there, the fruits of blind 
rashness — and every where, the unavoidable evils 
flowing from ignorance and sin, and the superior 
advantages of knowledge and virtue. As the bee 
extracts honey from objects nauseous and poison- 
ous; so can the industrious reader obtain lessons 
of useful wisdom, from the errors and imperfec- 
tions of those who figure on the historic page. 

The reader, while sitting by his own fireside, 
becomes a traveller in foreign lands. He partici- 
pates in much of the enjoyment of the tourist, 
without experiencing any of his difficulties and 
dangers. He thus obtains an acquaintance with 
the condition, manners and customs of distant na- 
tions ; and his mind becomes enlarged by contem- 
plating the wide diversities of laws, of morals, of 
religions and literature. He is also enabled to 
compare the numerous privileges and advantages, 
which he enjoys in this happy land, with tliQse 



44 ON READING. 

possessed by other nations — and be led the more 
sensibly to appreciate the immense value of our 
system of government, and the importance of stri- 
ving to purify and perpetuate it. 

Reading fills up many leisure hours, which 
would probably be otherwise less profitably occu- 
pied. When the labor or business of the day is 
closed, the mind relaxes and seeks for amusement. 
These are dangerous hours to the young. Then 
temptations put on their most fascinating garbs ; 
and unless guarded against by some counter 
power — some repelling force — will lead to every 
species of evil. These critical seasons test the 
character, and reveal the prospects of the young. 
Those youth who have established the habit of 
reading, in these times of leisure, turn as natu- 
rally and readily to their books for amusement, as 
do the profligate, to scenes of infamy and vice. 
And thus reading not only saves from forming sin- 
ful habits, but becomes the means of laying up 
stores of useful information, to be turned to pro- 
fitable account in after years. The young, in this 
way, can deposite treasures in a " Savings Bank," 
that will yield a compound interest to their owner. 
In what manner can youth of either sex, pass an 
evening more usefully, than in perusing some en- 
tertaining and valuable publication, for their own 
edification and that of the family circle ? The 
habit of reading can become so deeply settled, as 
to form the controlling desire of the mind. So 



ON READING. 45 

firmly was this habit estabUshed in Brutus, that 
on the eve of the battle of PharsaUa, which it was 
foreseen would decide the fate of the Roman do- 
minions, he was found calmly reading in his tent, 
and with his pen taking notes from his author. 
And Petrarch, the great poet, if he did not read 
and write during the day, was very unhappy. 

The manner of reading, is an important con- 
sideration. It is generally supposed that those 
who read the greatest number of books, must 
possess the most knowledge. But this does not 
necessarily follow. An individual may peruse 
whole libraries, and be but little wiser for his la- 
bor. It is no difficult task to run hastily through 
a publication, neither is it a jprojitable one. The 
amount of knowledge obtained from books, does 
not so much depend on the number perused, as 
the manner in which they are read. To accom- 
plish the object of reading, it is evidently neces- 
sary that you should obtain the scope of the ideas 
of the author you are perusing. You should be- 
come familiar with the manner and peculiarities 
of his expression. It is also obvious, that to ob- 
tain benefit from reading, it should be performed 
slowly and with deliberation. Never permit your- 
selves to read without reflection. No knowledge 
can be obtained in this manner. It is like endea- 
voring to gather water with a seive, or in the 
quaint language of a certain author, "it is like 
laboriously stooping to pick up chips, only to let 



46 ON READING. 

them fall again." It is much better to read but a 
few pages at a time, and understand them, than 
hastily to glide through a book without treasur- 
ing up any useful knowledge. Thinking should 
always accompany reading. The latter without 
the former, amounts to nothing. And yet there 
is no habit more liable to grow upon the young 
reader, than while the eye is skimming over the 
page, to allow the mind to be wandering away, 
absorbed in some thought wholly disconnected 
with the subject before them. This habit is an 
unfortunate one. It weakens the intellect, dis- 
tracts the mind, and fills it with confusion and 
anarchy — and it should, therefore, be strongly 
guarded against. The attention and thoughts, 
should be brought under the strict command of 
the will. If they fly off in pursuit of some wild 
vagary, they should be instantly called back, and 
all their powers concentrated on the page which 
you are perusing. Then you hold communion 
with the author, and are benefited. But without 
this attention, the book may as well be closed. 

If, in reading a sentence or paragraph, you fail 
to obtain the meaning of the author, repeat it, 
and if necessary, again and again— leave it not 
until you fully comprehend the idea he would 
convey. In this manner you will often find a 
treasure, where at first glance you could discover 
nothing of importance. If your author furnishes 
a new thought, cease reading for a moment, and 



ON READING. 4'5' 

poader upon it — turn it frequently in your mind — 
observe its bearing and tendencies, and its appli- 
cability to subjects in which you are interested. 
Thus you will often enter upon a train, which 
wiU lead to new fields of interesting and useful 
reflection. As you can not expect to retain in 
your memory the entire contents of a book, im- 
press upon your minds the most prominent and 
valuable portion of its instructions. And to this 
end, after having finished its perusal, reflect upon 
its whole contents, and ascertain what new and 
peculiar views you have obtained. It is a useful 
practice of many readers, to note in a blank book 
or memorandum, such sentences or ideas as are 
deemed of sufficient importance ; and they are 
thus saved for future application. This method 
I would recommend to such as have time or op- 
portunity to pursue it. 

A valuable blank book, called the " Index Re- 
rum," for the purpose of forming an index to the 
subjects of which you read ; and in which you may 
note the volume and page of any work in which 
any particular subject is treated, for future refer- 
ence ; will be found particularly valuable, to the 
student, the professional man, or, indeed to any 
who may have occasion often to refer to what 
they have perused. Its author, or rather its in- 
ventor, is the Rev. John Todd, now of Philadel- 
phia, the author of " The Student's Manual," 
another excellent work for the same classes — ex- 



48 ON READING. 

cepting a very few remarks rather sectarian in their 
bias. 

Another consideration of the utmost weight, 
relates to the selection of books. The importance 
of this subject, can not be too strongly impressed 
upon the minds of the young. The sentiments 
conveyed in publications read by youth, must ex- 
ercise a sensible influence over them, for good or 
evil. Books of an immoral and licentious tendency, 
should be avoided as the poisonous Upas. No 
youth can read them without inflicting a leprous 
stain upon their minds, which will tend decidedly 
to evil. Consider those companions your ene- 
mies, who recommend such works to your notice. 
Turn a deaf ear to their advice, and strictly avoid 
their example. 

In noticing the character of works proper for 
your perusal, I can not refrain from directing your 
attention, first of all, to that " Book of books," 
the Bible. Sir William Jones, one of the most 
learned men of his day, wrote on the blank leaf 
of his Bible, the following sentence — "I have 
carefully and regularly perused these holy Scrip- 
tures, and am of opinion that the volume, inde- 
pendent of its divine origin, contains more sub- 
limity, purer morality, more important history, 
and finer strains of eloquence, than can be col- 
lected from all other books, in whatever language 
they may have been written." Let this invalua- 
ble volume be often and faithfully perused — let 



ON READING. 49 

its contents, especially its moral and doctrinal 
teachings be deeply impressed upon your minds, 
as the only perfect guide that can lead to a faith- 
ful discharge of duty towards your Father in hea- 
ven, and your fellow-beings. Well written books 
and other publications, relating to the doctrinal 
and moral truths of the Scriptures, should also 
engage a due proportion of your attention, as 
calculated to purify your hearts and enlighten 
your minds. Paley's Natural Theology, and his 
Horse Pauliuce, and works of a similar character, 
tending to strengthen the convictions of the truth 
of Christianity, should be read by every youth. 

Here, perhaps, I ought to remark, that all stan- 
dard works, pertaining to or connected with your 
destined pursuits in life, should engage the next 
place in your studies. As these will vary accord- 
ing to those pursuits, and as you can never be at 
a loss for more able and experienced advisers than 
I can be, I dismiss this consideration with the re- 
mark, that you should, by no means, confine your- 
selves to these works alone ; but give them your 
chief and best hours, seeking relaxation fronn 
their perusal in such other works as I now sh?ill 
name. 

History is a very important branch of general 
study. Mavor's Universal History, is a large and 
expensive work — but an excellent compendium. 
Bigland's Letters on History, is as brief as the 
other is voluminous. The amount of leisure, and 
4 



50 ON READINCf^ 

pecuniary means you possess, (if remote from a 
public library,) must determine for you, which of 
these, or of the following works you will peruse. 
They, all, are well worth perusal, and are re- 
commended to your notice. History of the 
Jews, by Flavius Josephus, Rollin's Ancient His- 
tory, Gillie's Greece, Frost's History of Greece^ 
Ferguson's Roman Republic, The Annals of 
Tacitus, Gibbon's Decline and Fall of the Roman 
Empire, bearing in mind that he is a cold sneerer 
at Christianity, even while pretending to advocate 
it in the form held by the church of England ; 
Hume's England, continued by Smollet ; Robert- 
son's Histories, particularly of Charles the Fifth, 
and of the Discovery and Settlement of America, 
Irving's Conquest of Grenada, Mackintosh's Eng- 
land, Russell's Modern Europe, Baines' History 
of the Wars of the French Revolution, Ameri- 
can edition on account of the notes, Ramsay's 
History of the American Revolution, and Mo- 
sheim's Ecclesiastical History. In biographical 
works you will also find much historical informa- 
tion, blended with a display of human character. 
I would therefore recommend you to read, in con- 
nexion, with the foregoing, the lives of any great 
men who figure prominently in them — particu- 
larly Voltaire's Life of Charles XH, of Sweden, 
a fine specimen of a good style ; Marshall's Life 
of Washington, Spark's Lives of Franklin, Led- 
yard, and his Washington papers ; Irving's Co- 



ON READING. 51 

iumbus, and his Voyages and Discoveries of the 
Companions of Columbus, Southey's Nelson, 
Wirt's Life of Patrick Henry, and Lives of the 
Signers of the Declaration of Independence.— 
Others might be named, but the advice of the 
wise and virtuous, and the references made in 
these works, will unite in guiding you to all else 
that can be necessary to your instruction in this 
important branch of reading. 

Such works as Buffon's Natural History, Gold- 
smith's Animated Nature, Good's Book of Na- 
ture, Arnott's Physics, Wood's Mosaic Creation, 
Treatises on Botany and Chemistry, and publica- 
tions on Experimental Philosophy, can be read 
with much profit and amusement. The Art of 
Being Happy, from the French of Droz, with 
notes by Timothy Flint, is a work full of valua- 
ble instruction to the young. Combe on the 
Constitution of Man is one of the most valuable 
publications that has issued from the press in 
many years. I would earnestly recommend its 
perusal to all whose eye meets these lines — it 
will richly repay you. 

Of poetry, there are comparatively but few en- 
tire works that can be safely recommended to the. 
young. Pope has many beauties, inteniiingled 
with much that is decidedly of an immoral ten- 
dency ; and the same may be said of Burns, By- 
ron and Moore. But there can be no hesitancy 
in recommending Milton, Cowper, Young — ^ma- 



52 ON READING. 

kiQg due allowance for their religious peculiari- 
ties — Scott, Wordsworth, Southey, Coleridge, 
Gajoipbell, Beattie, Thomson, Bryant, Mrs. He- 
mans, and Mrs. Sigourney. 

In relation to the propriety or impropriety of 
perusing novels and other works of fiction, much 
ha^s been said on either side. There can be no 
doubt that our book-stores and libraries are flood- 
ed with works of this character, that are extremely 
i^^ipid, and of a tendency highly deleterious. — 
That works of fiction of a proper character, can 
be safely and beneficially read by the young, I 
have no hesitancy in declaring. But you must 
be cautious in your selections. None should be 
read but those of a purely moral tendency, and 
s^uch as are illustrative of historical truths. Of 
the former, I would mention particularly those of 
JVtrs. Opie, Miss Edgeworth, and Miss Martineau. 
Of the latter may be enumerated the Misses Por- 
ter's, the most of Scott's, a few of Bulwer's — 
especially his Rienzi^— several by Cooper, Miss 
^edgewick, and Mr. Simms. Many of Irving's 
lighter works are of an entertaining character, and 
may be profitably read — particularly his late pro- 
ductions, A Tour on the Priaries, and Astoria. 

In readmg works of fiction, keep your mind 
constantly fixed on the delineations of character — 
m^rk the shades of diiference between them, the 
different operations of external circumstances on 
them, and the different motives that actuate 



ON READING. 53 

them — and apply all to the purposes of self-ex- 
amination and self-improvement. When the work 
is historical, read it in connexion with that portion 
of history to which it refers, and with that portion 
of geography which describes its location, and 
carefully note what is fictitious, and what is real. 
If I mistake not. Chambers' Memoir of the 
Prince, Chevalier Charles Stuart, will make yoii 
doubly interested, even in Scott's interesting Sdot- 
ish novels relating to that individual— and ^6 6f 
others. 

Fear of protracting this chapter beyond the 
bounds of your patience, prevented me from 
naming many other works worthy of your peru- 
sal^ with comments on their merits, and directions 
for more fully availing yourselves of their int^rem 
and benefits. But what is here offered will mf- 
fice, probably, to direct you, until experience suf- 
ficient will be attained to render further direction 
from me of doubtful necessity. 



CHAPTER VI. 

PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. 

Practical observation, or the habit of obsei*ving 
men and things, is of great value. There is 
scarcely an event that transpires around you, from 
which you may not, by critical observation, de- 
rive lessons of wisdom — there is not an object 
upon which your eyes can rest, when properly 
studied, that will not increase your information. 
But all those sources of knowledge are sealed 
up, without you take proper measures to open 
them. Unless you observe and reflect, wisdom 
may instruct, and knowledge lift up her voice, 
" but hearing you hear not, and seeing you do 
not perceive." Without the habit of practical 
observation, you m^y lister^ to the most profound 
instructions of wisdom, without being wiser, an(| 
examine all the curiosities of nature and art, 
without gaining any useful information. " Keep 
your eyes open," is an old and profitable max- 
im — not the eyes of your body only, but the eyes 
of your intellect also. And let your ears not 
only hear, but hear understandingly — with a dis- 
crimination that will enable you to appreciate and 
treasure up all that is instructive, and cast away 
whatever is demoralizing or useless, 



JPRACtlCAL OBSERVATION. 55 

In this respect, there is a vast difference among 
mankind. While one individual mingles with 
the world, and by thoughtful observation, in- 
€reases his useful knowledge every hour — ano- 
ther mixes in the same scenes, listens to the same 
language, sees the same transactions and the 
same objects, without treasuring up one valuable 
thought. The former sees and hears to obtain 
information ; the latter only to gratify an idle cu- 
riosity. While one person, in straying over the 
fields., beholds in every tree, in every flower and 
blade of grass, indications of the wisdom and 
goodness of God, and thus is led to reflect upon 
the characteristics of Deity ; another views the 
same objects, and only thinks that the tree affords 
a shade from the sun, and of the flowers a fra- 
grant nosegay maiy be formed. While one gazes 
upon the sky, and observes that it is decked with 
*' pretty spangles"^ — another contemplates the hea- 
vens with mingling emotions of awe, astonish- 
ment and delight. He there discovers the hand 
of Jehovah — he there reads lessons of the ma- 
jesty, power, and wisdom of the great " I AM." 
Filled with wonder, he inquires — 

« * * * * * * * What hand behind the scene, 
What arm almighty, put these wheeling globes 
In motion, and wound up the vast machine ? 
Who rounded in his palm, those spacious orbs ? 
Wlio bowled them flaming thro' the dark profound, 
Numerous as glitt'ring gems of morning dew, 
Or sparks from populous cities in a blaze, 
Aijd set the bosom of old Night ou fire ?" 



56 I-RACTIGAlr OttSERVAflOJr. 

The habit of practical observation, while en- 
gaged in your ordinary occupations, becomes not 
only a stream of knowledge, but also a safe guard 
to screen you from evil conduct. Do you ob^ 
serve in an individual, a mean, unmanly action 1 
Reflect upon it. Observe how it degrades him—' 
how contemptible it causes him to appear in the 
eyes of the generous, the just, the benevolent, 
and how unsatisfying must be his own reifectionsV 
Do you behold one at the bar of justice, called 
upon to answer to the laws of his country, for his 
crimes ? Meditate upon the unhappy effects of 
sin— the degradation and wretchedness it entails 
upon his victims — and become satisfied of the 
solemn truth of the Scripture declaration, that 
*' though hand join in hand, the wicked shall not 
go unpunished." Do you perceive neighbors, 
from some simple misunderstanding, that could 
at first have been amicably explained, engage in 
an unhappy contention, in which all the unholy 
passions are brought into action, to the mutual 
injury of the parties, and which involves the com- 
munity in turmoil and themselves in wretched- 
ness ? Observation will satisfy you of the blind- 
ness and folly of such conduct — of the necessity 
of exercising a forgiving spirit, and of submitting 
to injuries rather than to engage in hostilities, 
that can at best but entail disquietude upon you. 

Thus, by a constant habit of observation and 
reflection, you can turn even the failings, the 



fRACtiCAL OBSERVATION. 57 

blindness, the misfortunes of others, to your own 
account — you can be benefited not only by the 
ktiowledge of the wise, but also by the folly of 
the simple. When you perceive people in cir- 
cumstances of difficulty, you can trace their ill 
fortune back to its origin, and by perceiving the 
cause of their failure, you are prepared to avoid 
pursuing a similar course. Even the most trivial 
actions, when properly considered, will sometimes 
afford valuable lessons of instruction. " Old 
fashioned economists will tell you never to pass 
an old nail, or an old horse-shoe, or buckle, or 
even a pin, without taking it up, because although 
you may not want it now, you will find a use for 
it some time or other. I say the same to you 
with regard to observation. Mark every thing 
you perceive — let your observations and reflec- 
tions take in every object within your reach. For 
there is not a fact in the whole circle of human 
observation, nor even a fugitive anecdote that you 
read in a newspaper, or hear in conversation, that 
will not afford some useful reflection." From 
every individual with whom you converse, how- 
ever unlearned and ignorant, something new and 
valuable can be obtained, by proper observation. 
Sir Walter Scott was one of those men, who 
draw information from every thing within their 
observation. One of the means by which he ob- 
tained his celebrity as a writer, was his habit of 
obtaining useful hints from sources to which 



58 PRACTICAL 0:tfSERVATION. 

Others would never think of looking. It is said 
that he was once desirous to obtain a certain ob- 
solete word that had escaped his memory. For 
a long time it baffled his researches ; but at length 
in passing two men in the street, engaged in angry 
contention, he heard the desired word dropped, 
amid oaths and imprecations — and he immedi- 
ately stopped and noted it down. This is practi- 
cal observation. You should, like the above 
named individual, endeavor to learn something 
every where. Your thoughts should be at your 
command, to meditate upon every new object and 
idea that may be capable of imparting valuable 
information. There is not any thing in the world 
that is not worth noticing. How many are igno- 
rant, and remain so, because although they see 
and hear, yet they do not observe. 

The information obtained by observation, is 
often more valuable than that procured in any 
other manner. We frequently discover indi- 
viduals unskilled in letters, with little acquaint- 
ance with books, who possess a large fund of 
useful knowledge, and are well informed on a 
great variety of topics connected with human 
welfare — while as frequently, scholars from our 
institutions of learning, are lamentably ignorant 
of the most valuable interests of society. How 
is this difference to be accounted for ? In this 
wise. The former are men of practical observa- 
tion — they have studied tjie book of human na- 



PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. $9 

tuie — they have become acquainted with " men 
and things," by actual contact. But the latter have 
obtained their knowledge solely from books — 
hence the}^ are wise in theory, but ignorant in 
practice — wise in regard to the past, but ignorant 
of the present. Could each obtain the acquire- 
ments of the other, they would then, by possess- 
ing the advantages of both theory and practice, 
be enabled in a superior degree, to pass through 
life with usefulness to themselves and to their 
fellow-beings. To possess these combined ad- 
vantages should be the effort of every youth. 

1 trust my readers will not suppose I would en- 
courage an idle curiosity, or an inqusitive inter- 
meddling with other people's affairs. In obtain- 
in<g information, I would by no means, have you 
mingle with bad company, intrude where it would 
not be proper to appear, or take part in scenes 
where you are not personally interested. But 
wherever your intercourse leads you, I would 
have you attentive to things around. When yau 
are engaged in business, you have numerous op- 
portunities to observe the workings of human 
passions and human virtues — the influences upon 
man's happiness, pf honesty, benevolence and ge- 
nerosity, on the one hevnd, arxd of avarice, fraud 
and crime, upon the other. In compi^ny, yoii 
can perceive and note the characteristics pf c|if-' 
ferent individuals, and observe the disposition an4 
n^anners which renders one agreee^ble to all, espe-: 



60 PRACTICAL OBSERVATION. 

cially to the virtuous and good, and the conduct 
by which others cause themselves to be dishked 
and shunned. Thus you can be a constant stu- 
dent, reading lessons which will afford the richest 
wisdom. This work of observation should, in 
most cases, be performed in silence. When you 
discover a fault in another, I would have you si- 
lently benefit yourself by reflecting upon its dele- 
terious influences, but not needlessly trumpet it 
to the world. Improve your minds rather by 
meditating upon the imperfections of others, than 
by expatiating upon, and enlarging them, to the 
detriment of their unfortunate possessors. 



CHAPTER VII. 

INDEPENDENCE OF MIND. 

There is no characteristic more worthy an in- 
tellectual being, than independence of mind — that 
principle by which opinions are formed and adhe- 
red to, from the convictions of our own senses. 
Some people are very fluctuating in their conclu- 
sions — seemingly unable to form any settled opin- 
ion — and more willing to trust to the decision of 
others, than to the dictates of their own minds. 
This is an unfortunate failing — it renders those 
under its influence, liable to many evils. They 
have no foundation upon which to base any opin- 
ion, and no strength to maintain the teachings of 
their own good sense. On religious, political, 
and other subjects connected with their welfare, 
they are liable to be driven from point to point — 
from system to system— without testing either suf- 
ficiently to ascertain their real merits, or their de- 
fects. Every wind that blows, faces them a dif- 
ferent way. To-day they know not what they may 
believe to-morrow. Ever doubting and never satis- 
fied, like public paupers, they depend upon others 
for a supply of mental food. Individuals of this 



62 INDEPENDENCE OF MIND. 

character, are especially sought after by the crafty 
and the designing. They are material of which 
they can readily make any present use. Thus they 
are at the mercy of unprincipled plotters, '^ who 
lie in wait to deceive" — they are like children, 
straying amid a multitude of paths, without being 
able to determine which leads to the desired des- 
tination — as liable to walk in the way of error and 
unhappiness, as in that of truth and peace. 

The young very much mistake their interest 
and happiness, when they permit habits of inde- 
cision and vascillation to creep upon them. By 
the frequent change of principles or opinions, they 
lose the confidence of community, and soon are 
looked upon, only as fit tools to be used by the un- 
principled demagogue. Those who shuffle about 
from sect to sect — from party to party — are event- 
ually deemed worthless by all. To avoid being 
held in this estimation, it must be your endeavor 
to acquire an mdependence of mind, that will ena- 
ble you to form fixed principles, from which tri- 
flmg considerations can not move you. 

It is necessary, however, that you fully under- 
stand the characteristics of a truly independent 
mind. In the first place, an independent mind is 
not rash. Many pride themselves on immediately 
forming their opinions on every subject to which 
their attention is directed, without the trouble of 
reflection. But this is foolish rashness, and not 
independence. Those who pursue this course, 



INDEPENDENCE OF MIND. 63 

rush needlessly into many unpleasant predica- 
ments. Opinions thus formed, are far more lia- 
ble to be wrong than right — and thus their authors 
are compelled either to support positions palpably 
erroneous, or retract the rash grounds they have 
assumed. In either case, they lose the confidence 
of the judicious and prudent. 

Neither does the independent mind despise the 
opinions of others. There are some who deem 
it derogatory to their character to listen to, or 
adopt the views of others. It matters not how im- 
portant is the subject, or how experienced are 
those who express their sentiments ; if the prof- 
fered advice does not coincide with their precon- 
ceived opinions, they consider it very manly and 
independent to reject it. But the mind possess- 
ing true independence, will seek the advice of 
others— will listen to whatever varying views may 
be expressed — and from such suggestions, adopt 
whatever appears reasonable. 

Equally far is true independence of mind remo- 
ved from obstmacy. After an opinion has once 
been formed and expressed perhaps publicly, some 
people will permit pride or obstinacy, to prevent 
their renouncing it, even after being fully con- 
vinced of its fallacy. And thus they will con- 
tinue to hug error and support principles they 
know to be unsound, through fear that a renounce- 
ment of them would be attributed to weakness or 
imbecility. But such a course is far from being 



64 INDEPENDKNCE OF MIND. 

an independent one. It discovers rather a weak 
and servile mind, than a free and firm one. It 
shows a mind filled with a slavish fear of popular 
opinion — a trembling apprehension lest some per- 
sons as puerile as themselves, should deride them. 
And from a fear of being considered weak, hy the 
weakt they will remain under the influence of a 
real weakness and slavery, that the firm and up- 
right scorn. The mind can evince as much inde- 
pendence in renouncing an erroneous sentiment^ 
despite all influences of an opposing character, 
as in supporting a just one, against every disad- 
vantage. But there is an important distinction 
between changing an opmion from firm convic- 
tion, after deep research and mature deliberation, 
and rashly vascillating from one view to another, 
at every trifling impulse, without forethought or 
reflection. The former is to be commended and 
imitated — the latter to be despised and avoided. 

True independence of mind, consists in can- 
didly and maturely examining every subject which 
engages your attention — -impartially and faithfully 
searching its foundations, and all the evidences of 
its truth — and then forming such opinion in re- 
gard to its merits, as unbiassed reason shall dic- 
tate, without being influenced by any extraneous 
circumstances. The mind of real independence, 
adopts only such sentiments as it believes to he 
true — and only because they are true, in its esti- 
mation. And, consequently, it will adhere to 



?NDETPKNDEN'CK OF MIND. 65 

them firmly, until convinced by superior evidence 
©f their falsity. 

It is to be deeply regretted that in every com- 
munity, " there is a class who will sacrifice men- 
tal freedom and the right of judgment, at the 
shrine of popularity. They will believe any tiling 
that is popular, and oppose every thing that is 
right, if it is unpopular." But such a truckling 
and imbecile course, the individual of a firm and 
manly mind most heartily scorns. He does not 
inquire, is this sentiment popular, or fashionable, 
or believed by the multitude, by the proud and 
the wealthy ? But he simply asks, is it true ? 
And upon the affirmative decision of this ques- 
tion, alone depends its reception into his belief. 
In selecting their place for pubhc worship, those 
whose minds are independent, do not inquire, who 
attend this meeting or that ? where do the mul- 
titude crowd ? where does popularity centre ? 
where is the most fashionable resort ? Such 
questions indicate servility and bondage of the 
deepest character. But they only ask, where can 
I listen to the truth ? — and there, fashionable or 
unfashionable, popular or unpopular, they deem 
it their duty to attend. Neither do they conceal 
opinions honestly formed and faithfully believed. 
Those who pretend to believe ono sentiment, and 
yet in reality, cherish another— who give their 
pubhc support to doctrines which they at heart 
abhor, can lay no just claim to moral freedom. 

5 



©6 lNi)Ei*ENl)ENCE Of MINU". 

They are to be pitied as involved in a slavery 
which degrades them in their own estimation, ancJ; 
In that of a discerning public. But independent 
minds, freely, frankly and openly express their 
sentiments, upon every propet occasion, with a 
just detestation of hypocrisy and dissimulation. 

Those who possess mental freedom, do not allow 
fear to bias them in forming their opinions. Fear, 
or cautiousness, is good in its |ilace— it has a pro- 
per office, and that it should fulfil. But it has 
nothing to do with selecting sentiments for belief, 
or with decision upon the truth or falsity of opin- 
ions. The Creator has bestowed upon man more 
enlightened, elevated and ennobling faculties for 
this important purpose. He has given us reason 
and judgment, to preside over the emotions of the 
mind ; and to the decision of these high umpires, 
should be brought every question pertaining to our 
opinions. Those who neglect their mental facul- 
ties, and go down to the low passion of fear, to 
inquire whether they shall adopt or reject senti- 
ments, not only degrade their nature, dishonor 
their high powers, and reject the proper exercise 
of the most valuable of God's gifts, but also throw 
down the bulwarks that have been reared for their 
mental protection, and lay themselves open to the 
assaults of every dark error— every degrading su- 
perstition ! Only agitate their fears — arouse their 
apprehensions — and no error is so inconsistent or 
monstrous, that they can not be made to receive 



IJJDEPENDENCE OF MIND. Q'J 

it — inasmuch as reason, which alone can reveal 
error, is distrusted and trodden under foot. 

I trust these remarks, young reader, are of suf- 
ficient weight to awaken you to th« importance of 
establishing your principles on a foundation cha- 
racterized by firmness and independence. It is a 
neglect to exercise these qualities, that has involv- 
ed so many youth in the embraces of error, vice 
and misery. Where this quahfication of an inde- 
pendent mind is lacking, you are exposed to the 
dangers of youthful temptations, to the deleteri- 
ous influences of pride, fashion, popularity, and 
fear, which Can not add one improvement to the 
mind, or impart a single emotion of true happi- 
ness. But armed with this noble characteristic, 
the assaults of these powers will be as vain as ilie 
empty chaff, blown against a firm seated rock. 

A proper independence of mind will preserve 
you from the inroad of many debasing influences. 
Are yoji in the company of the atheist ? It will 
not allow you to fall in with his derision of things 
sacred and divine, but will influence you ever to 
acknowledge and defend your beUef in the Gospel 
of Jesus Christ. In reply to his cavillings and 
his witticisms, you will present the broad panoply 
of reason and the unimpeachable testimony of na- 
ture. Are you in the presence of the profligate, 
who scoff at religion, morality and virtue ? Inde- 
pendence of mind will enable you to withstand 
their temptations, to reprove their sinful follies, t© 



68 INDEPENDENCE OF MIND. 

rebuke their licentiousness, and to point them to 
certain evil consequences which follow the trans- 
gressor. Do you hear the religious sentiments 
which you entertain, misrepresented or ridiculed ? 
An independent mind will enable you, boldly yet 
courteously, to remove misrepresentation, and to 
show that ridicule is poor substitute for sound ar- 
gument. 

A proper independence of mind will adminis- 
ter much to success in all the avocations of life. 
It will influence you to depend more upon your 
own energies, than upon the fluctuations of chance; 
and your capabilities will, in this manner be de- 
veloped and drawn into activity, with a good as- 
surance of prosperity. It will also gain for you 
the respect of community at large. Nothing 
more sinks an individual's value in the eyes of 
others, than a fickle, unstable mind. No con- 
fidence is placed in his judgment — no weight at- 
tached to his advice — no respect paid to his opin- 
ions. But whoever evinces a firm mind, connected 
with a good character, will invariably obtain the 
confidence of society. However others may dif- 
fer from him in sentiment, his counsel will be 
sought after, his opinions respected, his advice 
followed. 

This characteristic is also necessary to self-re- 
spect. Fickleness of mind in others, you pity, 
yea, almost despise. But when conscious that 
you possess this weakness yourself, or that you 



Independence "of mind* €9 

give way to it on importaAt occasions, the reflec* 
tion will ibase yoti in your own estimation, and lead 
to an improper distrusting of youi* real powers. In 
these circumstances, it will be in vain truly to re- 
spect yourself, from the depressing conviction that 
you do not possess the confidence of others. But 
^n assurance that you possess fixed principles, and 
rhat you have sufficient firmness to assert and main- 
tain them, will impart the proper amount of con- 
fidence in your own capabilities, which is one of 
the important ingredients of success in all under- 
takings. It will give an efficiency and firmness to 
your deportment that will render your exertions 
easy and unembarrassed. 

Be it your endeavor, therefore, to cultivate a 
judicious and manly independence of mind — an 
independence as far removed from stubbornness 
as from fickleness— an independence which leaves 
you at liberty, yea, urges you, to listen respect- 
fully and candidly to all proper suggestions, and 
to seek out information wherever it may be found, 
and enables you from all your means of know- 
ledge, to form your own opinionsy irrespective of 
those entertained by others, and to assert and main- 
tain those opinions, until convinced of their fal- 
lacy. Thus will you exercise the ennobling pre- 
rogative of your nature — bring into exercise the 
high faculties with which you have been endow- 
ed, and in a good degree, participate in the many 
blessings which they are capable of imparting. 



CHAPTER Ylil. 

POLITENESS^ 

In all communities of intelligent beings, there 
are certain rules, regulations, or customs, adopted 
by general consent, to govern the intercourse of 
one with another. They are termed in our lan- 
guage, politeness. It is true, these usages differ 
much in their character. A custom considered 
very polite in one country, is deemed extravagant 
and ridiculous in another. But however these 
practices may vary, certain forms of politeness 
prevail in every class, from the polished circles of 
the highest ranks of civilization, down to the 
barbarous and untutored tribes of the forest. 
Your attention, however, will be directed exclu- 
sively to the general subject of politeness, as un- 
derstood in enlightened countries, and as applica^ 
ble to youth of both sexes. 

Singular as the remark may appear, it is quite 
evident to my mind, that the Gospel of the Re- 
deemer, understood in its proper sense, is the only 
perfect source of true politeness. What is po- 
liteness ] It is not an air, a simper or a strut — it 
is not the mincing of words, or the formal man- 
ner of expressing sentiments. Politeness is an 



POLITENESS- 



71 



exhibition, throttgh words, signs or tokens, of 
.liind and friendly emotions towards those in our 
presence. These emotions can not be exhibited 
■properly in th€ conduct, unless they really exist 
in the bosom, ^ut they can not exist in the bo- 
som m their full extent, nor exert their influences, 
unless warmed into hfe by the spirit of Christ's 
rehgion. Those individuals whose hearts are 
steeped in the influences of the Gospel-who 
i^iew all mankind as their brethren— who love them 
all, (even their enemies,) as directed by the Sa- 
viour, and who allow these emotions to influence 
their conduct will be truly polite. And although 
rtkeir manners, from want of opportunity, may 
not he as polished as those of others, yet they 
will exhibit that spirit of u-niversal kindness and?, 
goodwill, which is die spirit of politeness, and 
without which politeness can not in reality exist, 
■Hence the irst step in the acquisition of polite- 
mess, is to imbibe the noble, generous, liberal and 
.kind f&elings, which flow from an enUghtened ap- 
preciation of the Saviour's teachings and exam- 
iptes. These emotions will form a proper foun- 
'dation, upon which a poUshed demeanor can be 
based, and which will render its acquirement easy 

and natural. 

As this subject embraces an extensive range, I 
shaU be able only to glance briefly at a few of its 
most prominent features. And first your attention 
will be airected to a few things that are impolite^ 



.*.■> 



POLITENESS. 



Profane or irreverent language is improper and 
wicked in any place ; but when uttered in com- 
pany is very impolite. It exhibits a low, gross^ 
and uncultivated mind. Every young man — I 
need not say, every young lady — who would be 
considered polite and well bred, will avoid such 
language as highly derogatory to genteel man- 
ners. Refrain from low and vulgar anecdotes,, 
and indelicate allusio-ns or inuendoes. Nothing 
should be uttered in company, that violates the 
simple rules' of modesty. Every thing of this 
nature is both improper and impolite. 

Do not speak loud and long in company. This 
is a fault that young people are liable to commit. 
In the exuberance of their spirits, the voice is 
often raised to a high key, and some favorite topic 
is extended to an immoderate length, to the ex- 
clusion of all other conversation. This habit 
should be strictly guarded against. Those who 
indulge in it are liable to utter many things ridi- 
culous and absurd, and to lay themselves open to 
the just censure of the wise and prudent. Loud 
laughter is also impolite ; and is considered by 
many, as an indication of an empty mind. I 
would by no means banish sociability and plea- 
santry from the social circle. But there should 
be a proper medium obseiTed. The good sense 
of youth, should teach them not to surpass, in 
these respects, certain bounds prescribed by pro 
priety. 



POLITENESS^ 73 

In a mixed company, avoid, if possible, all con- 
tentions and disputes — especially on exciting to- 
pics. If carried to any extent, they lead to the 
exhibition of improper feelings; and generally 
cause the disputants, and the whole company, to 
become unhappy. There may be cases where 
this rule should be departed from ; but such in- 
stances are exceedingly rare. As a general prac- 
tice, the rule should be strictly adhered to. 

Do not permit yourselves, in company, to speak 
disrespectfully of one who is absent, if you can 
consistently avoid it. This practice is not only 
impolite, but it is ungenerous and unjust. If it 
becomes necessary to express opinions derogatory 
to the character of the absent, speak in guarded 
language, and with all the palliations that charity 
and forgiveness can suggest. 

Avoid any exhibitions of anger or petulence. 
They are impolite and immodest — especially so 
in females. They throw you off your guard — 
cause you to utter expressions extremely impro- 
per, and often ridiculous — and place you in cir- 
cumstances very unpleasant. A guard should be 
placed upon the temper. Nothing is more to be 
avoided than the outbreakings of rage. Under 
their influence evils are often committed, for 
which a whole after life of propriety can hardly 
atone. 

Be cautious not to interrupt others when speak- 
ing. This plainly indicates a want of good breed- 



74 tOLlTENESSk ^BffllWBB 

ing ; and yet it is a very common practice with 
many. However anxious you may be to uttef 
your views, remain silent until those who are 
speaking have concluded. Respect to them, and 
a desire to avoid confusion, as well as the rules 
of proprietyj dictate a strict adherence to this 
precaution. 

Do not bluntly deny the truth of the opinions 
expressed by those with whom you are convers- 
ing — and more especially if they are aged, or if 
their opportunities for obtaining information have 
been superior to yours. If you differ from them^ 
express your views in modest and respectful lan- 
guage, and with due deference to their mature 
experience. You should rather suggest the pro- 
priety of a different opinion, than pertinaciously 
assert it. 

Never indulge in ridiculing others in company. 
It is fi Yiilgar apd upgenerous practice, and indi-^ 
cates a narrow, uncultivated mind. All have their 
weaknesses and imperfections — even those who 
possess the most shining talents, have their blem-« 
ishes. "But what an absurd thing it is, to pass 
over all the valuable characteristics of individuals, 
and fix our attention on their infirmities — to ob- 
serve their imperfections more than their virtues — 
and to make use of them for the sport of others, 
rather than for our own improvement."* " The 

* Addison, 



POLITENESS. 75 

littlest feeling of all, is the delight in contempla- 
ting the littleness of other people." Persons 
addicted to ridicule, are not usually distinguished 
for their own wisdom or good sense. Like critics 
who cut up a good publication, without being able 
to produce one themselves worth reading, so those 
most given to the ridicule of others, are gene- 
rally themselves deficient in many of the valuable 
characteristics of human nature. " If the talent 
of ridicule were employed to laugh men out of 
vice and folly, it might be of some use to the 
world ; but, instead of this, we find that it is ge- 
nerally made use of, to laugh men out of virtue 
and good sense, by attacking every thing that is 
Solemn and serious, decent and praiseworthy in 
human life."* If young people must indulge in 
ridicule, I pray you, act upon the reverse of this 
observation of the great English scholar. Let 
your talent of ridicule be exercised only against 
immoral and vicious practices — against pride, 
folly, and every species of extravagance cind sin. 

Avoid ridiculing others, on account of their 
appearance or their plainness of dress. Some 
are naturally more awkward in their demeanor 
than others, and any ridicule on that account, will 
be at the expense of your good sense, in the eyes 
of the discriminating. All tastes do not agree in 
regard to dress. You claim the liberty of array- 

* Addison. 



76 l»0MTfiNfi9S. __— 

ing yotifselves in siich Habiliilients and style as 
your fancy dictates. You should be \villing to 
grant the same privilege to others ; and should 
no more imagine that you have the right of ridi- 
culing them for not following your taste, than 
they have of ridiculing you for not imitating 
theirs. And by all means, avoid ridiculing those 
who from poverty, are unable to appear in attire 
as costly or fashionable, as that of community in 
general. This is a cruel, ungenerous, unmanly 
practice. It is not only impolite, but is blackly 
inhuman. It displays a selfish spirit, a shallow' 
mind, and a heart devoid of the gentler suscepti- 
bilities of our nature. No individual — male or 
female — can justly lay the least claim to polite- 
ness or generosity, who exhibits a feeling so mean 
and brutal. Instead of basely indulging in the 
ridicule of the poor, you should be inclined to 
drop the tear of pity over their misfortunes, to 
commiserate their condition, to soothe them and 
reconcile them to their situations, and, if possi- 
ble, to do something, or say something, that will 
shed a few rays of enjoyment into their hearts ^ 
Individuals possessing true politeness, will exhibit 
towards people in low circumstances as to pro- 
perty, none but emotions of a j^ind, humane and 
generous character. And they Avill not judge of 
their worth by their poverty. But looking beyond 
the outward circumstances, to the qualities of the 
heart, they will honor and commend integrity, 



POLITENESS. 77 

virtue and purity, as readily when clothed in worn 
and humble garments, as when arrayed in " pur- 
ple and fine linen." 

We will now briefly examine the affirmative of 
this subject, and notice a few characteristics that 
pertain to politeness. I have once remarked that 
true politeness, is an exhibition, through outward 
signs and tokens, of kind and friendly emotions 
towards those in your presence. Or in other 
words, politeness is a desire to make those around 
you happy. A disposition to be pleasant and 
agreeable, therefore, is one of the first requisites 
of politeness. It is impossible for those who are 
morose and ill tempered, to be polite. They may 
assume the outward form, the shadow, but the 
spirit of true politeness will be wanting. If from 
misfortune, disappointment, or vexatious difficul- 
ties, or illness, your feelings are in an unhappy or 
irritable state, you had far better refrain from 
mingling in company, while such is your condi- 
tion, than to make others wretched by a display 
of your ill feelings. Strive, therefore, while you 
are in company, to be good humored, cheerful 
and kindly disposed. With these feelings in full 
activity, you can not well avoid being polite. And 
it is encouraging to know that with every effort to 
entertain and exhibit these emotions, they will in- 
crease in stability and extent, until they become 
a second nature, and habitually pervade your 
minds. 



78 POLITENESS. 

Gratitude is another ingredient of politeness. 
What can appear more dishonorable or selfish, 
than an insensibility to proffered kindness ? — what 
more ill bred or impolite ? The uncultivated 
boor, will, under the dictation of nature, return 
thanks for favors. And it surely becomes those 
who would improve their manners, not to be un- 
mindful of this subject. Every attention which 
you receive from others, is an indication of the 
kindness which they cherish towards you. In 
this light should they be received and properly 
acknowledged. 

As Washington was once walking with a dis- 
tinguished gentleman, they met a negro, who, in 
passing, saluted them. The General gracefully 
returned the salutation. His companion ex- 
pressed much surprise, that he should return the 
bow of a black man. " Sir," said Washington, 
'* should I permit this poor negro to exceed me 
in politeness ?" This was an instance of genuine 
politeness. While the impolite man would have 
passed stiffly and haughtily by, wiihout conde- 
scending to notice the African's indication of re- 
spect, the noble minded personage, who then 
occupied the highest station on earth, acknow- 
ledged, by a suitable return, his sense of the ne- 
gro's attention. To be grateful for all, even the 
smallest favors granted you, the smallest indica- 
tions of respect, and to express your gratitude by 
some word, or in some intelligible manner, is im- 



POLITENESS. 79 

periously demanded by politeness. While it is 
gratifying to have acts of kindness noticed and 
appreciated, it is exceedingly painful to have them 
coldly received, with no indications of thankful- 
ness. 

In entertaining a mixed company, much de- 
pends upon the host or hostess. It should be 
your great object in such a situation, to make all 
your company, if possible, feel pleasant and 
agreeable. You should not, therefore, confine 
your attentions or conversation to one, or any 
select number ; but they should be equally di- 
rected to all. And in your conversation, you 
should discriminate between the different degrees 
of information, and the- different occupations of 
your guests. Each individual should be address- 
ed on subjects in regard to which they are con- 
sidered the best informed ; and your conversation 
with them should be so directed as to relieve them 
from embarrassment, and bring out their peculiar 
excellencies and acquirements. From these im- 
partial attentions, all feel that they are duly ap- 
preciated, all are gratified, and all enjoy them- 
selves. You should, in one sense, forget yourself, 
to make those in your presence agreeable. And 
yet all these attentions should be executed in so 
delicate and artless a manner, as scarcely to al- 
low them to perceive that your object is to make 
them appear well, and to minister to their enjoy- 
ment. 



80 POLITENESS. 

Always attend to those who address you, and 
give due heed to their remarks. Inattention in 
this respect, is exceedingly rude, and indicates a 
lack of good breeding. Do not frequently change 
your posture by rising up or sitting down, or 
walking about, Avhile another is speaking to you. 
It will be construed into a neglect of their worth, 
or a desire to avoid their conversation. Whis- 
pering, and holding private discourse in company, 
is very improper and impolite. 

Kespect to the aged, is another trait of polite- 
ness. It is extremely indecorous to make those 
advanced in years, the subject of ridicule, de- 
rision or laughter. Gray hairs should ever be 
treated with deference and respect. The aged 
have long borne the burdens of life— they have 
administered to the welfare of society, and to the 
prosperity and enjoyment of those who are now 
young. It becomes your duty, as the palsy of 
age creeps upon them, incapacitating them for 
active duties and for labors, to honor and reve- 
rence them— to cherish and support them, and 
render " the downhill of life," as agreeable and 
pleasant as possible. No sight is more delightful, 
than to behold the young assidiously engaged in 
respectful attentions to the aged— while there is 
no greater lack of politeness, no plainer indica- 
tion of an unfeeling heart, than to treat the aged 
with neglect, disrespect or harshness. 



1 



POLITENESS. 81 

Before closing this subject, I can not refrain 
from again directing your attention to the real 
nature of politeness. People, generally, are too 
ready to judge of its existence by exterior appear- 
ance and manners. When persons enter a room 
with ease, make a graceful bow, and are very for- 
mal and ceremonious, they are called polite. But 
although a due attention to formalities, is proper, 
yet they do not constitute all of politeness — they 
are, indeed, as has once been said, but its shadow, 
and may be, and often are, assumed where no 
genuine politeness exists. True politeness, I 
repeat, consists in entertaining kind and friendly 
feelings towards others, and in exhibiting those 
emotions in your manners. Therefore, to be po- 
lite, in the just acceptation of that word, you 
must cultivate the generous feelings of the heart 
— you must see that this fountain of human emo- 
tions is purified, and that nothing there exists but 
good will towards all your fellow-beings. With 
the affections in this state, politeness, almost with- 
out effort, will shine in your intercourse with the 
world. There will be no cold affectation, no heart- 
less hypocrisy ; but with a moderate degree of 
outward cultivation, the manners will be graceful 
and polite. 



CHAPTEH IX. 



LETTER-WRITING. 



Although this subject may be viewed by some, 
as of little importance, yet it should by no means 
be overlooked by the young. There are few- 
youth of either sex, who will not find it necessary 
to correspond with relatives and friends, and often 
with strangers. And few there are, who do not 
desire to have their letters appear well in the sight 
of those to whom they are addressed. 

The first requisite in letter-writing, is care in 
the penmanship. It should be your effort to 
have your writing plain and distinct. It is true, 
the penmanship of all can not possess the same 
elegance and finish ; but all can and should ex- 
ert themselves to have their letters as legible and 
neat as possible — free from blots, and with as little 
interlining as may be. You should also endea- 
vor to punctuate your composition properly and 
distinctly. It is no small labor to peruse a letter 
without stop or point of any kind. In such cases, 



LETTER-WRITING. 83 

it is difficult to obtain the meaning of the writer, 
and ludicrous, and sometimes fatal mistakes, are 
in this manner occasioned. The necessity of both 
spelling and punctuating correctly, is exemplified 
in the old and familiar anecdote, of the note hand- 
ed to the minister, in some town on the sea-board. 
It read as follows : " A man going to see his wife, 
desires the prayers of the congregation." When 
read as thus written, it w^as perfectly ridiculous. 
But by changing the word see to sea, and remov- 
ing the comma from after the word wife to the 
word sea, the meaning of the writer is expressed 
as follows : " A man going to sea, his wife desires 
the prayers of the congregation." 

Great caution should be exercised in regard to 
the contents of letters. Let it be remembered 
that letters are often preserved a great length of 
time, and frequently come into hands of whom 
the writers little thought, while penning them. 
Injudicious letters are liable, through accident or 
other causes, to stray into the possession of those 
who will Avield them greatly to your disadvantage. 
Many individuals would give half their wealth, 
to recall letters hastily written, or to blot out sen- 
tences incautiously inserted. "We ought not 
to write anything of which we may hereafter feel 
ashamed. Well written letters are as often burnt 
or destroyed, as slovenly or indiscreet epistles 
are, by accident or design, preserved, to rise up in 



84 LETTER-WRITING. 

judgment agahist us hereafter."* An instance in 
point lately occurred. At the decease of the 
celebrated Aaron Burr, among his papers were 
found letters received in former years, which, had 
they been made public, would have ruined the 
characters of many indviduals moving in the 
highest circles. Exercise your judgment upon 
this subject. Write nothing to the most intimate 
friend that would cause you to blush or feel de- 
graded, were it read by strangers. I desire not 
that you should circumscribe the free and frank 
expression of thought, but would rather com- 
mend it. Write to your correspondents as you 
would converse with them, had you the opportu- 
nity — but as you would converse with them in 
the presc7ice of others. 

If possible avoid writing disparagingly of the 
character of any. Inadvertencies in this respect, 
are the frequent causes of difficulty and conten- 
tion. Sentences of this nature often find their 
way to ears for which they were least designed. 
If it becomes necessary to state your opinion of 
the character of any individual, communicate 
your sentiments in a frank, yet kind manner — 
write nothing as truth, that you do not know to 
be true — avoid deleterious insinuations — in fine, 
write as you would, were you addressing the per- 
son in reference to whose character you are ma- 
king your statements. 



Young Ladies' Own Book. 



LETTER-WRITING. 85 

Avoid in your letters, all expressions of anger — 
all profane or vulgar language — all indelicate 
words and allusions. Write with the same re- 
strictions under which you would speak were the 
person present whom you address — bearing in 
mind, that when your letters are perused by 
strangers, they will form an estimate of your cha- 
racter and manners, from the nature and style of 
their contents. 

In your correspondence, you should keep in 
view your own station and circumstances, and the 
rank and condition of the individual whom you 
address. In writing to relatives and intimate 
friends, you should express yourself in a differ- 
ent manner than when addressing a stranger. In 
the former case, you should be warm, aifection- 
ate and familiar — in the latter, more reserved, 
yet respectful, candid and concise. 

Regularity in correspondence, should be ob- 
served. Many are very negligent in this respect — 
putting off writing from day to day and week to 
week. This is an unnecessary habit, arising solely 
from sheer indolence, and often causing much 
disappointment and inquietude. Write promptly, 
at the proper time, without any unnecessary de- 
lay. Youth who are absent from home should 
be punctual in this respect. As children leave 
the abode of their infancy, the sun-light of their 
parents' joys waxes dim and more dim — as stars, 
the cherished objects of love vanish one by one 



86 liETTER-WRITING. 

from, the family galaxy, leaving darkness and 
gloom behind. While, in mixing with the busy 
multitude, and engaging in the exciting avocations 
and amusements of active life, the hours pass 
lightly over your heads, you should remember 
that to your parents, in consequence of your ab- 
sence, time drags with leaden step ; and that no- 
thing so cheers their aged hearts, as letters from 
the absent and loved ones. The young, therefore, 
should often think of their home, of their vene- 
rable parents, and the peculiarities of their situa- 
tion. Often should you despatch letters laden 
with love and filial affection, and kind expressions 
of regard, to light up the evening of their days, 
with smiles of joy. Oh ! how highly are those 
written messengers prized by the father and the 
mother ! Anxiously do they await them, and 
eagerly do they devour their contents. They are 
as angel's visits, diffusing consolation and peace. 
The melancholy caused by separation, is felt 
much more sensibly by those who remain at 
home, than by those who go out into the world. 
Be cautious in giving letters of recommenda- 
tion, that the individual whom you would benefit, 
actually possesses the qualifications you enume- 
rate. If you deceive in this respect, it will in- 
jure your integrity, and detract from your influ- 
ence. Give no such letters, except in cases where 
you feel perfectly assured of the worth of those 
who bear your testimonials. 



LETTER-WRITING. 87 

Never be guilty of circulating anonymous let- 
ters, or of assuming false signatures.* These are 
low, base practices, utterly beneath the lady or 
gentleman. They should be heartily reprobated 
and despised. If you desire to give advice or to 
warn of danger, or to make any communication 
to an individual, do it under your own proper sig- 
nature, with all frankness and candor. If you 
can not proceed in this open, manly manner, re- 
frain entirely from all interference. The motives 
of anonymous writers are ever suspected — they 
are almost invariably detected and exposed, and 
do not fail to meet that public execration and dis- 
gust which they too frequently richly merit. 

* The reader will understand that I do not allude to 
fictitious signatures in writing for the public prints, 
where they are often properly assumed. But even in 
this respect they are sometimes resorted to for the basest 
purposes. As a general rule, it is better in writing for 
the public, to use at least the initials of your name. 



CHAPTER X, 

RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 

That man is by nature, a religious being, is a 
truth so evident, and so universally acknowledged, 
that it has passed into an axiom. A religious pro- 
pensity or a desire to worship is one of the con- 
stituent principles of the human mind. Wherever 
a human being is found, throughout the globe, 
this religious principle is perceived, leading him 
to seek out and adore some object, power or be- 
ing, whom he believes exercises a control over 
his enjoyments and his destiny. If he can not 
perceive properties calling for worship in one ob- 
ject, he will in another — if he is ignorant of, or 
disbelieves in the existence of one supreme, in- 
telligent Being, he will worship three or a thou- 
sand — or will reverence a beast, a reptile, a block, 
or unintelligent matter. This religious propen- 
sity, like the other powers of mind, must be cul- 
tivated and enlightened, ere it can impart all the 
benefit of which it is capable — and when so en- 
lightened, it becomes the source of the purest 
happiness within the reach of man on earth. 
But when it is uncultivated and swayed by igno- 



RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 89 

ranee, doubt or superstition, it leads to the belief 
of the wildest vagaries of the imagination and to 
much mental pain. 

An enlightened and consistent religious belief, 
should be viewed by youth as one of the first and 
most important of human acquisitions. It forms 
a stable and secure basis, upon which all the pro- 
per enjoyments of life can be safely founded. All 
other sources of earthly happiness, depend upon 
many contingencies, and are liable to fluctuation 
and decay. But a reasonable and scriptural system 
of religion, when once firmly settled in the mind, 
is subject to no variation from time or events. It 
is a pure stream of running water, whose fountain 
is far removed, alike from the scorching heat of 
Summer and the icy chains of Winter. Pros- 
perity can not dry it up, neither can adversity 
freeze it. In seasons of success, it heightens 
every comfort, and it turns the edge of the keen- 
est afiiictions. It is a friend that never forsakes ; 
but stands by the firmer, when its assistance is 
most needed. 

I am aware that youth, generally, are inclined 
to view the subject of religion in an unfavorable 
light. But I attribute this disinclination to the 
manner and form in which the topic has been 
presented to them, rather than to any innate 
aversion. They have been led — or, rather mis- 
led — to look upon religion as something gloomy, 
melancholy, fearful — -as something calculated to 



90 RELIGIOUS OPljyiONS. 

deprive them of the amusements and enjoyments 
proper to their age — something that makes hfe 
sad, tasteless and wearisome. But I would say 
to the youth whose eye is resting on these lines, 
that such views of religion are radically and 
wholly erroneous. Words of purer truth were 
never uttered, than those contained in the poet's 
stanza : — 

" Religion never was designed 
To make our pleasures less." 

It never was designed by its Author to take from 
you one enjoyment, proper to you as a rational 
and moral being, or to deprive you of a single 
emotion of true pleasure— it never was intended 
to make you melancholy or in any way unhappy. 
But the object and influences of the pure reli- 
gion of the Gospel, are directly the reverse. So 
far from depriving you of enjoyment, the religion 
of the Redeemer would make you happy. And 
to this end it is designed, to point out to you, the 
true pleasures from i\\Q false — the sources of real 
gratification, in distinction to those that are de- 
ceitful and unsatisfying. It would enable you to 
distinguish between the pure gold, and those ob- 
jects which are but gilded — -between the substance 
and the shadow. True religion would induce you 
to avoid those practices, sometimes falsely termed 
pleasure, which lead to degradation, wretchedness 
and ruin, and which always leave the sting of 
death ; and in their place, would impart those en- 



RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 91 

joymects which are pure and permanent, and 
which increase in value as age advances. True 
religion is not designed to overshadow the path- 
way of life with the dark clouds of despondency, 
but to cheer the track of existence with the bright 
sunshine of peace and contentment — a sunshine 
that will beam upon you with its most vivid bright- 
ness, in those moments when you would other- 
wise be surrounded by darkness and despair. 

Do you not perceive, my young friends, the 
great importance of endeavoring to cultivate 
your religious faculties ? Would you avoid un- 
happiness and degradation ? would you enjoy 
pleasure, comfort, peace ? Obtain correct views 
of religion, and you will assuredly escape the 
former and secure the latter, to as great an ex- 
tent as imperfect mortals can expect in this state 
of existence. I have said correct views of reli- 
gion, because erroneous religious sentiments, can 
not produce these beneficial results. Indeed error 
in religion, is one of the most fruitful sources of 
wretchedness. There are false sentiments some- 
times conveyed under the garb of Christianity, 
which fill the mind of the believer with pain and 
anguish inexpressible — and the more firmly they 
are believed, the more dreadful are the consequen- 
ces. But these sentiments, remember, pertain 
not to the religion of Jesus Christ. They are 
errors engrafted upon the lovely system of the 
Gospel, in those long centuries of darkness and 



92 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 

ignorance, which soon succeeded the apostolic 
age. With proper scrutiny these errors can 
readily be detected. There is such an incongruity, 
such a want of harmony, and such a perfect con- 
tradiction between them and all the prominent 
and benevolent characteristics of the Gospel, that 
the clear and unprejudiced mind, can at once dis- 
tinguish between their teachings and their origin. 
While the teachings of one, are every thing kind, 
merciful, and benevolent, the other promulgates 
all that is dark, and horrid, and cruel — -while one 
originated from infinite Wisdom on high, the other 
is the unholy fruit of the disordered imaginations 
of men ! 

In forming your religious opinions, it is neces- 
sary that great caution be exercised, or you may 
imbibe error instead of truth. I. will mention a 
few rules that will assist you in your researches on 
this important aubjcct. 

Let reason be the guiding star in all your inves- 
tigations. God has formed you reasoning beings ; 
and he could have had no object in imparting this 
high faculty, but that you should exercise it on 
all subjects within your cognizance. To disregard 
the dictates of this reason is derogatory to your 
character, extremely dangerous to your peace, and 
an abuse of the most valuable earthly gift of your 
Creator. You should perceive the truth of these 
remarks, and permit them to sink deep into your 
minds, before you commence settling your reli- 



RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 93 

gious views. With reason, unswayed by passion 
or prejudice, for your guide, you can hardly err 
in religion; but deprived of its directing light, 
all is darkness and uncertainty, and without fail, 
you will grope your way into that error which ge- 
nerates misery. 

I am aware that it has been fashionable with 
certain sectarists, to decry the exercise of rea- 
son upon the subject of religion. But you should 
distrust all such exhortations. They are never 
resorted to except to support error and delusion — 
they are never brought forward but as a last re- 
sort to chain mankind to doctrines and creeds that 
are passing away before the increasing light of 
Gospel truth. Reflect. Suppose you were to 
comply with such instructions, and adopt the rule 
not to consult your reasoning faculties in regard 
to the subject of religion. Do you not perceive 
the degradation of such a condition ? Do you 
not discover that you would be liable to adopt as 
truth, every absurdity, every wild vagary of the 
human imagination, however incongruous or mon- 
strous ? Your wisdom will dictate the propriety 
of avoiding a course so dishonorable to your high 
endowments. You will make it an invariable 
rule never to adopt a sentiment within your com- 
prehension, that is not in perfect accordance with 
reason. 

I would here caution you that there is an ob- 
vious and important distinction between a princi- 



94 RELIGIOUS OPIJSIONS. 

pie that is unreasonable, and one that is ah&ve 
reason, or beyond the reach of your reasoning 
faculties. That the flowers of the field and the 
trees of the forest, grew from the earth in a gra- 
dual progression, is reasonable — to maintain on 
the contrary, that they sprung forth at once, in 
full growth, and proportion, would be unreasona- 
ble — but to account for the whole process by 
which this phenomenon is produced — to under- 
stand the art by which nature paints the rose and 
the lily, in colors so beautiful and dazzling as far 
to surpass all man's imitative art — is beyond rea- 
son ! Let these distinctions be kept in view, and 
applied in your religious investigations. That it 
must have required a Being possessing infinite in- 
telligence, and omnipotent power, to create all 
those countless worlds and systems scattered 
through immensity of space, and originate those 
laws by which their motions are guided with so 
much precision — is a reasonable proposition. — 
No sane mind can throw off this conviction. 
But whence that mighty Being came, the mode 
of his existence, and the manner of exercising 
his powers, are subjects entirely above our reason — 
beyond the utmost stretch of our limited capaci- 
ties. Were these subjects audibly explained to 
us by an angel from on high, we could not com- 
prehend them with our present feeble powers. 
But because our weak faculties can not grasp 
these topics, shall we revert to the other extreme, 



RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 95 

and declare that no God exists ? Consistent, 
well-balanced minds do not reflect in this man- 
ner. The one would be to the same degree un- 
reasonable, that the other is above reason. It is 
your prerogative and your duty, to follow and 
adopt the conclusions of reason, as far as your 
faculties can ascend. But there is a limit which 
will bound its upward progress, and here your 
researches must cease — it is in vain to endeavor to 
penetrate beyond this bound — your every effort 
will be baffled. But because you can not exceed 
this limit of the human intellect, should you 
doubt or disbelieve that which is reasonable, within 
your comprehension ? The scholar who should 
contend that because he can not solve Euclid's 
problems, therefore he has reason to doubt that 
tioo added to three, makes five, would be consid- 
ered extremely ignorant ! Does it not display 
equal inconsistency, to disbelieve one of the most 
reasonable and self-evident truths that ever ap- 
pealed to the human inind — viz., the existence of 
an intelligent Creator — simply because the hu- 
man faculties can not span infinity, and under- 
stand the mode of his being ? Every discerning 
youth, will at once perceive the absurdity of siich 
a course, and avoid the rock upon which so many 
have foundered. 

I deem it important again to warn you against 
the influence of fear. This debasing passion 
should not be permitted to exercise any control 



96 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 

in your decisions upon religious sentiments. Fear 
was not made umpire of the mind, to decide be- 
tween truth and error — for it can not possibly dis- 
tinguish the one from the other. If you permit 
fear to usurp the throne of reason, and to reign 
with triumphant sway over the reflections and 
conclusions of the mind, you commit treason 
against your own nature, and enter into a bondage 
more grievous than the chains and stripes of bodily 
slavery. Give the menial reins into the hands of 
fear, and you will be driven into fallacies the most 
absurd, and errors the most pernicious. Never, 
therefore, allow fear to intermeddle with the de- 
cisions cf your mind, for it is the criterion of 
brutes, and not of rational beings. 

In forming your religious opinions, I can not 
too strongly urge upon your attention the impor- 
tance of faithfully perusing the Scriptures of the 
Old and New Testaments. The volume of inspi- 
ration should be your constant companion. You 
should be perfectly familiar with its contents — 
with all its prominent precepts and doctrines. 

In perusing the Scriptures, let plain, common 
sense be your guide in regard to their teachings. 
From the languages in which the Bible was ori- 
ginally written — from its frequent allusions to 
manners and customs, to sayings and maxims, to 
forms of government and the condition of nations, 
as all these existed at the different and distant 
times when its several portions were penned — it 



RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 97 

is to be expected that allusions will occasionally be 
made in that book, which we can not now fully un- 
derstand — and an understanding of which would, 
indeed, be of little avail. It should, therefore, be 
your object in perusing the word of God, to obtain 
a clear view of the leading doctrines, the great, 
general principles, which it inculcates. A little 
candid attention will satisfy you, that a perfect 
harmony exists throughout its pages — that there 
are certain important doctrines characterized by 
truth, wisdom and the purest benevolence, every 
where proclaimed in that blessed volume. And a 
comparison betv/een the teachings of Nature and 
the prominent declarations of the Scriptures, will 
convince every enlightened mind that there is a 
perfect harmony between them, and that both 
have proceeded from the same source. 

If you observe a passage of Scripture which, 
at first sight, would seem to contradict the lead- 
ing principles proclaimed in the Scriptures, it 
should receive your earnest attention and a criti- 
cal examination. You should be slow to admit 
to your own mind, that it is contradictory. Ob- 
serve the connexion in which it is found — ascer- 
tam who was its author, and to whom it was writ- 
ten, and what were the circumstances of both 
parties — and learn the nature and bearing of the 
subject that is treated upon. If it contains words 
of varying or of a disputed meaning, criticise those 
words ; ascertain their origin, the manner in which 

7 



98 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 

they are used, and the meaning they are made to 
convey in other portions of the inspired writings. 
Consult the opinions of writers of different sects, 
in regard to its signification — and, in fine, let no 
measures within your power, be lacking, that will 
throw light upon the subject. If you faithfully 
pursue this course, with your minds open to con- 
viction, you can become perfectly satisfied in re- 
gard to the teachings of every such passage — and 
you will also become perfectly assured that the 
sentiments of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, are cha- 
racterized wholly by the purest philanthropy, and 
the most impartial love and kindness. 

Frequent meditation upon tine character of God, 
as revealed in the Scriptures and in the works of 
nature, is another valuable means of obtaining 
correct views of religion. The Bible declares that 
Jehovah possesses infinite wisdom, omnipotent 
power, and boundless and impartial goodness.— 
And nature in every part, in every operation, pro- 
claims that its Author possesses the same charac- 
teristics. Christians of every sect unite in ascrib- 
ing these attributes to Deity. Here, then, are 
settled, undisputed premises, from which you can 
proceed with satisfactory certainty, to draw con- 
clusions respecting the purposes and dealings of 
God, in regard to man. To attribute any work or 
design to the Maker, which would contradict the 
existence or perfect influence of either of these 



RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 99 

attributes, would evidently be erroneous. No con^ 
elusion can be more certain than this. 

Let these tests be applied to the design of Je- 
hovah in creating man — evidently the most impor- 
tant subject that can engross the attention of hu- 
man beings. To say that the Maker has formed 
an intelligent and sensitive bemg, with a determi- 
nation or foreknowledge, that his existence should 
result in ceaseless wretchedness, would evidently 
be very erroneous ; because it plainly impeaches 
the perfection of one of the most prominent at- 
tributes of God, VIZ. his goodness. Either, Deity 
is not impartially good, or he never formed man 
for this destiny, or with a knowledge of its arrival. 
One of these sentiments must, therefore, be re- 
jected by every consistent mind. You niast either 
deny God's goodness, or deny that he formed his 
creatures, determining or knowing that ceaseless 
evil would be their fate. The two propositions 
can not exist together. Goodness would rather 
have inflaenced Jehovah not to create the being 
at all, if this terrific end could not be avoided. 
To declare that the Creator formed man for a good 
purpose, but that some unforeseen accident, some 
unanticipated contingency transpired, contrary to 
the expectation and will of God, which plunges 
the creature into interminable wo, would plainly 
overthrow the wisdom, the foreknowledge and 
omnipercipience of Deity ; and must, therefore, 
be erroneous. And to insist that Jehovah has not 



100 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 

power to prevent his creatures from experiencing 
this horrid doonij or has not power to carry into 
full and perfect execution all his plans for the 
benefit of man, is equally opposed to his omnipo- 
tence, and must be equally untrue. This is a le- 
gitimate course of reasoning, and you can pro- 
perly and safely pursue it. The premises are 
iimversally acknowledged to be correct — the logic 
is plain and unimpeachable — and the conclusions 
as unavoidable and certain, as they are cheering 
to the kind and benevolent heart. Believe no sen- 
timent, — however popular, or however strongly 
enforced by threats, or denunciations, or appeals 
to your fears, — that violates the legitimate influ- 
ence of the wisdom, power, or goodness of God. 
Try every sentiment you may hear proclaimed, by 
these tests of the Creator's attributes. Whatever 
coincides with them, believe — whatever contra- 
dicts, reject, as clearly erroneous. 

Remember there is an infinite diiference be- 
tv/een allowing mankind to suffer the assaults of 
sin and evil, for a season, to terminate in their 
amendment, purity and happiness ; and in permit- 
ting these foes to torment them endlessly ! The 
former — illustrated in the case of Joseph and his 
brethren — is perfectly consistent with the purest 
benevolence and love, and would be approbated 
by angelic hosts and beatified spirits. But the 
latter is directly and forever opposed to every im- 
pulse of goodness, holiness and mercy ; and were 



RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. IQl 

it true, would enshroud heaven with everlasting 
mourning, and fill its celestial courts with weep- 
ing and lamentation. For, surely, nothing could 
more deeply afflict the pure and sptotless denizens 
of a higher world, than an assurance that sin and 
wretchedness were to be forever perpetuated, and 
allowed to prey upon beings capable, under pro- 
per influences and proper instruction, of equalling 
the angels, in holiness and love ! 

In measuring the benefits which men can ex- 
pect to receive from God, especially in another 
life, let not the standard be man's worthiness — for 
that, alas ! at best, can truly demand but little — 
but let the gifts of the Creator be measured by 
the desire and capability of the infinite Donor .! 
He who has but little, can give but little to ob- 
jects of charity ; but he who has much — who has 
an infinity of resources at command — can ration- 
ally be expected to give in accordance to his bound- 
less means. 

There are two extremes relating to religion, into 
which you should sedulously avoid lunning, viz. 
infidelity and fanaticism. The one rejects the 
most reasonable propositions — the other believes 
the most unreasonable, when enforced by fear. — • 
They form the extreme outposts of incredulity 
and credulity. Both indicate the weakness in 
which the human mind is sometimes permitted to 
exist, and both are unworthy rational beingis.^r- 
Minds of such character, approximate to each 



102 RELIGIOUS OPINlOPfS. 

Other much nearer than is generally supposed. 
Take off the restraint oi fear from the fanatic, 
without enlightening the mind, and at one leap, 
he goes into infidelity. Bring the powerful im- 
pulse of fear to bear upon the skeptic, and he be- 
comes the raging and illiberal fanatic ! The sound, 
well-balanced mind, occupies the medium ground 
between these extremes. While it adopts all that 
is reasonable on every subject, it rejects every thing 
unreasonable, without permitting fear to influence 
its conclusions in the least. That medium ground, 
which is based upon the Gospel of Jesus Christ, 
every youth who would be saved from errors, de- 
grading and distressing, should be cautious to 
occupy. 

Has your mind become entangled in the dark, 
mystic web of the skeptic ? — has your belief in 
the existence of a supreme, intelligent Creator, 
been for a moment shaken ? Go out at evening, 
and gaze upon the bright stars of heaven. "What 
beauty — what order — what harmony ! All speed- 
ing with inconceivable velocity, in their vast cir»- 
cles, yet with no interference — no confusion. Re- 
flect calmly on that Power — 

" whose finger set aright 



This exquisite machine, with all its wbeelSj 
Though intervolved, exact. " 

Could chance, or the operation of unintelligent 
laws, call inta being all those mighty orbs, and 
clothe them with beauty, and arrange them in or- 



REIiIGIOUS OPINIONS. 103 

der ? Could chance trace out their vast orbits, give 
them an impetus which no power less than omnipo- 
tence can arrest, and originate those laws by which 
all their movements are guided and controlled 1 
In your candid moments, when reason has the un- 
controlled ascendancy, you can not bring your 
mind to this puerile conclusion. Examine criti- 
cally, and understandingly, the argument which 
the poet draws from the starry heavens— 

" . Much design 

Is seea in all their motions, all their makes: 
Design implies intelligence, and art : 
That can't be from ourselves— or man ; that art 
Man scarce can compreheild, could man bestow ? 
Who, motion, foreign to the smallest grain. 
Shot through masses of enormous weight? 
Who bid brute matter's restive lump assume 
Such various forms, and gave it wings to fly 1 
Has matter innate motion? Then each atom 
Asserting its indisputable right 
To dance, would form a universe of dust. 
Has matter none? Then whence these glorious forms 
And boundless flights, from shapeless, and reposed ? 
Has matter more than motion ? Has it thought, 
Judgment and genius ? !s it deeply learned 
In mathematics? Has it framed such laws, 
Which, Ijut to guess, a Newton made immortal? 
If so, how each sage atom laughs at m*, 
Who think a clod inferior to a manl 
If art to form, and counsel to conduct— 
And that with greater, far, than human skill- 
Resides not in each block-a GodAead rei^ws .♦ 

<Jraat then, invisible, eternal Mind; 
Tbat granted, all is solved. " 

When attempts are made to unsettle your con- 
fidence in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, see that you 



104 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 

are not led astray by cavilling and sophistry, on 
points of no importance. The skeptic himself, can 
not but acknowledge the great value of the moral 
precepts of the Gospel. He must admit, that 
to cause harmony, brotherly kindness and peace, 
to prevail throughout the habitations of man — to 
allow the human race to enjoy all the happiness 
of which they are capable in this world — all that 
is requisite, is the universal diffusion and the uni- 
versal practice of the rules of moral conduct en- 
joined by the Saviour. Why, then, should they 
oppose the spread of a religion possessing these 
benign characteristics ? Will it have a tendency 
to cause men to live in that virtuous and peaceful 
manner, so requisite to public welfare, by taking 
from them that volume that only can lead them 
into such a course of life ? Call upon the skep- 
tic for a system of religion or morals, that has 
more valuable properties — that will have a greater 
tendency to make men virtuous, peaceful and hap- 
py—that will infuse brighter prospects or sweeter 
hopes into the mind, than that contained in the 
New Testament. And never forsake your adhe- 
rence to the Gospel of the Redeemer, until that 
better system is put into your possession.* 

* Females can not be too much on their guard against 
the assaults of skepticism. Nothing appears more unna- 
tural and abhorrent, than a female skeptic. It seems im- 
possible that any woman can become so, who is aware of 
the actual influences of Christianity, and of the immense 



RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 105 

In regard to the authenticity of the New Tes- 
tament, there is a short method of reasoning, 
that should have a satisfying influence upon your 
minds. That book could not have been written 
by wicked and deceitful men. It is impossible to 

benefit it has conferred upon her sex. Is it inquired, 
what has Christianity done especially for woman? I an- 
swer — it found her sex degraded and debased — the slave 
of man — viewed as only fitted to abide his bidding and 
subserve his pleasures. From this low estate, Christiani- 
ty has raised woman up to an equality with the other sex, 
in a moral and mental point of view — it has made her 
the companion of man, instead of his slave — and enabled 
her to become the sharer of his joys, his triumphs, and 
his acquirements. All the moral and intellectual advan- 
tages that females enjoy in Christian lands, above the 
members of the same sex in savage and ignorant nations, 
has been procured solely through the ameliorating and 
heavenly influences of the Gospel of Jesus Christ ! Look 
abroad over the earth. Wherever Christianity sheds its 
benign light, females are elevated, improved, respected 
and honored— wherever Christianity is not known, there 
they continue the degraded, wretched servants of man ! 
Surely, then, females who are swayed by the principles 
of propriety and self-respect — who desire their sex to 
maintain the elevated station they now occupy— who 
would have their rights, their virtues respected, and their 
mental and moral capabilities appreciated and improved 
— will not assist in destroying that beautiful system of 
Christianity, which has given them this elevation, and 
which alone supports it. Neither will they give their as- 
sistance or countenance to those who are engaged in this 
blind and mad work of destruction. At least, no female 
will pursue this suicidal policy, but she who prefers abase- 
ment, slavery and infamy, to virtue, dignity and an hono- 
rable equality with man — but she who chooses the dark- 
ness, ignorance, and the licentiousness of barbarism, to 
the light, elevation and modesty of civilization. 



106 RELIGIOUS OPINIONS. 

conceive any rational motive that conld influence 
such men to forge a volume, which, in every line, 
deeply condemns their own conduct, and holds 
them up to the reprehension of their fellow-be- 
ings. What could induce bad, corrupt men, to 
compose a book containing the most perfect code 
of morals of which the human mind can conceive ? 
Could such men have written such a volume ? No. 
The New Testament must have been written, then, 
by men of virtue and integrity — men who felt the 
value of its instructions. And certainly men of 
this character would not deliberately pen what 
they knew to be false ! Thus the very existence 
of the New Testament among us, is one of the 
most convincing proofs of its truth.* 

* There are two works lately published upon the evi- 
dences of Christianity, which I would especially recom- 
mend to youth, as of immense value, viz. — " An Argu- 
ment for Christianity," by I. D. Williamson, and " Chris- 
tianity against Infidelity," by T. B. Thayer. 



CHAPTER XI. 

^TREATMENT OF RELIGIOUS ERROR. 

Mankind have been created with powers of mind, 
so diversified, that the variety of opinions upon 
subjects relating to rehgion, is not a matter of as- 
tonishment. It would be far more surprising, 
when we reflect upon the various degrees of know- 
ledge possessed by mankind, were they all to en- 
tertain precisely the same views. This disparity 
of opinion existing, I deem it of some importance 
to make a few suggestions, in regard to the treat- 
ment of those who differ from you in rehgious 
sentiment. 

In the first place, let it be remembered, that by 
the law of nature, others have the same unaliena- 
ble right to differ from you in opmi.on, that you 
have to dissent from them. And in this land of 
religious freedom, the liberty of entertaining and 
defending such religious sentiments as they deem 
proper, without injury to their rights, privileges 
or immunities, is guarantied to all its citizens. 
It is both proper and necessary that you should 
observe the letter and spirit of these natural and 
political laws— they should form the basis upon 



108 TREATMENT OF RELIGIOUS ERROR. 

which you found the principles of your emotions 
and actions towards your rehgious opposers.— 
Never, therefore, disparage, despise, ill-treat, or 
calumniate any of your fellow-beings, on account 
of their religious views, if you have reason to be- 
lieve that they are sincere. Such conduct vio- 
lates the principles of equity and uprightness, and 
those who are guilty of it, have no just claims 
to manhood or Christianity. Hypocrisy of every 
form ^nd feature, it is your duty to despise and 
discountenance, in a decided and proper manner 
•—but sincerity, however absurd its object, should 
ever be respected. 

Withhold not the name of Christian, from any 
sect who believe in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 
This concession is called for by truth, and by that 
charity and urbanity which denominations, believ- 
ing in the same God, the same Saviour, and the 
same Bible, should ever exhibit towards each 
other. And it is an incentive to this practice, 
and a pleasing reflection, that in every class of 
professing Christians, there are many — very many 
— who possess the true spirit of Christ. 

Avoid also attributmg to any sect, doctrines or 
principles which they deny. They should be al- 
lowed to possess the right — which you claim for 
yourself — of stating their own sentiments, and the 
grounds upon which they rest them — and for 
these sentiments, and none other, should they 
be held accoimt^ble. 



TREATMENT OF RELIGIOUH ERROR. 109 

Never judge of the character of a whole sect, 
or of the influence of its doctrines, by the conduct 
of a few of its adherents. From the imperfec- 
tions of human nature, all are liable to err, al- 
though possessing the purest principles. Even 
the chief of the disciples of Christ, once denied 
his Master. Judge of every man's character, by 
his own personal conduct, and not by the conduct 
of another. And decide upon the influence of 
doctrines by their general effects upon their be- 
lievers. 

It is a natural and laudable wish, to induce 
others to adopt our peculiar religious opinions, 
but to accomplish this end, certain precautions 
must be observed. You must avoid ridiculing 
those whose views you would change. This is a 
favorite measure with many public advocates of 
religion ; but they who resort to it, are not the 
most successful in winning adherents to their 
doctrines. Ridicule is a dangerous weapon — it 
is a two-edged sword, and can be wielded as skil- 
fully by the advocate of error, as by him who 
Avould build up truth. Ridicule seldom reaches 
the judgment to convince it of error ; but it inva- 
riably wounds the feelings and upholds the pre- 
judices of those against whom it is levelled. It is 
one thing, to expose the fallacies of erroneous 
sentiments in a plain, candid and forcible manner ; 
but another, and different thing, to ridicule those 
who are so unfortunate as to entertain them. By 



110 TREATMENT OF RELIGIOUS ERROR. 

pursuing the former course, you can hope to suc- 
ceed in changing the opinions of those you ad- 
dress ; but if you fail, you can not be successful 
in any case, by adopting the latter. 

When speaking to religious opposers, or of 
them, never indulge in harsh epithets. Instead 
of saying that people are " hars," or " fools," or 
^'destitute of common sense," it is much more 
polite and Christian-like, to say simply, that 
they are, or may be mistaken. " No person was 
ever reclaimed from error, by being insulted or 
reproached." Harsh epithets can not convince 
an individual of the falsity of his opinions ; but 
they can, and will arouse his anger, steel him 
against conviction, and confirm him in his errors. 

In all religious discussions, whether public or 
private, never display ill-temper. This would be 
improper — it vt^ould exhibit a lack of courtesy and 
of a Christian spirit— and it would give an op- 
poser a decided advantage over you. To give 
reason and judgment that full sway which is so 
requisite in controversy, the passions should be 
kept in entire subjection. 

In a mixed company, of whom any are stran- 
gers to you, be cautious of what you say in regard 
to sentiments which you deem to be erroneous. 
These sentiments may be beUeved by some in your 
presence ; and a harsh word or an ungenerous 
epithet, may not only prejudice them against 
yourself, but also against the sect to which you 



TREATMENT OF RELIGIOUS ERROR. Ill 

belong and the doctrine you profess — and this too, 
to an extent which it would be difficult to over- 
come, even by the power of truth. 

In all your conversation and intercourse with 
those of different religious sentiments — in all your 
efforts to convince them of their errors — let your 
manner be characterized by gentleness, kindness 
and the most friendly emotions. Too much care 
and attention can not be bestowed on this subject. 
Indicate by your spirit and conduct, that you re- 
spect and love them^ whatever you may think of 
their errors — let them perceive that you are inte- 
rested in their welfare, and that you only desire 
to change their views, that you may enh-ance their 
happiness. I care not how strong are the argu- 
ments you call to your aid, if they are but cloth- 
ed in the language of kindness and respect.— 
Kindness has an influence in convincing opposers, 
ten thousand times more powerful than sarcasm, 
ridicule or contempt. There was much true phi- 
losophy in the remark of the little girl. She was 
asked — " how is it that every body loves you?" 
" I don't know," she replied, " except it is be- 
cause I love every body." This was the real se- 
cret. An emotion of kindness evinced towards 
those whom you would affect, will invariably 
awaken a similar feeling in their bosoms towards 
you. The icy bulwarks of prejudice can be melted 
down by the warm rays of love and friendship — 
and reasonable, well-applied arguments, can then 



112 TREATMENT OF RELIGIOUS ERROR. 

do their work effectually in eradicating error. In 
fine, in this respect, as in all others, follow impli- 
citly the Saviour's golden rule — " Do unto others, 
as ye would that others should do unto you." 

It may be proper to add here, a few hints in re- 
gard to the time and place of manifesting your 
peculiar religious views. There are some peo- 
ple who are in the constant habit of obtruding 
their sentiments upon the notice of others. At 
home or abroad — in the stage, the steam-boat, 
the bar-room or the street — they are ever pro- 
claiming and insisting upon the peculiarities of 
their doctrines, for the purpose of raising a flame 
of controversy. I do not say this of any one sect 
— for, there are, undoubtedly, those in all deno- 
minations, who are amenable to this charge. — 
This practice is exceedingly unpleasant, as well 
as ungentlemanly. Circumstances and occasions 
may frequently occur, wherein it is more proper 
to remain silent, than to urge your religious te- 
nets. You can all conceive of such cases. I am 
far from desiring you to cover up, or in any way 
conceal your sentiments, when it is proper to ex- 
press them. I would rather urge you firmly and 
fearlessly to declare and maintain your opinions, 
whenever such a course is distinctly called for. 
But I would have you exercise prudence as to the 
time, place and circumstances. Your good sense 
and the rules of propriety, will dictate when it 
would be proper or improper — polite or rude — to 



TEMPTATIONS. 129 

creation^ wherein iew thrive.; and, at best, a 
thriving gamester has but a poor trade of it, who 
fills his pockets at the price of his reputation." 

Gambling is opposed to industry. Those who 
occasionally win sums of money by the turn of a 
card, or the throw of a dice, soon acquire a dis- 
taste to the slower routine of acquiring property 
<bj industrious occupation. It begets in them a 
feverish desire to become wealthy in a moment, 
which spurns a more tardy yet surer process. 

Gambling is ruinous in all its tendencies and 
consequences. It is ruinous to character. The 
gamester is despised by the virtuous and enlight- 
ened, and suspected even by his associates. To 
be connected with him, or to associate with hirn, 
is a disgrace, and his society is shunned by all 
those who would be considered respectable. He 
is distrusted by all; for it is consistently deemed 
probable, that he Avho will filch from another his 
lawful property, at the gaming table, will not 
hesitate to take any other measures, hoAvever 
vicious or unlawful, to accomplish the same ob- 
ject. It is ruinous to morals. Its tendencies 
are to blunt the sensibilities as to those nice dis- 
tinctions of right and wrong, so necessary to pre- 
serve purity of morals. The gamester soon loses 
all regard for truth, honesty and candor, and is 
compelled to resort to falsehood and deception to 
obtain his object. This pernicious practice is 
the fruitful source of every conceivable vice and 



ISO TEMPTATIONS. 

crime. Its natural fruit is theft, robbery, inur" 
der, suicide, forgery, perjury, intemperance, aind 
every species of licentiousness and sin. Gam- 
bling is ruinous to property. How many are re- 
duced by it from affluence to poverty— how 
many with the imbecility of idiots, throw away, 
in a single night, the earnings of years of indus- 
try ! The gamester can make no safe calculations 
as to property. He may possess a fortune this 
year, and the next, be clothed in the beggar's rags. 
The chances that the latter will be his condition, 
are vastly the most numerous. Where one 
gamester dies in affluence, a thousand end their 
days in poverty. 

This vice is probably carried to a greater excess 
in France than in any other country ; and there 
its true effects are discovered. Its wretched 
victims are bound in slavery to its fascinations, un- 
til stripped of all their possessions ; and then, in 
the phrenzied moment of despair, terminate their 
existence by suicide, or commit some desperate 
act which sends them to the prison, and perhaps 
die guillotine. 

I warn young men to avoid this vice as they 
value life, character and contentment. Of all 
miserable mortals, the gambler is among the 
most wretched. His mind is constantly stretched 
upon the rack of uncertainty, and filled with the 
most fearful forebodings. Avoid a company of 
;••;■-■.':''■".•■■> :^ ' "0'\ "';;',''.'' '1 ?_ '.l-^n of (''lifves. I^ook 



I 



TEMPTAT10!«fS. 131 

\ipon the gaming-table as the door which leads to 
certain disgrace, poverty and wo ! 

Intemperance^ is another temptation that assails 
young men. The evils of this vice, are now so 
frequently and ably elucidated, that a few remarks 
from me can only be necessary. The fatal effects 
of intemperance, are written out in pictures horrid- 
ly true and vivid, in every town and hamlet through- 
out our country. Broken fortunes, blasted anti- 
cipations, ruined health, disgrace, hunger, want, 
and suffering in every shape, are the prolific fruits 
of this wretched habit. 

Young men, have you any desire to be involved 
in these miserable circumstances ? — do you wish 
for degradation and want ? I anticipate your re- 
ply. You start back with horror, and cry " No ! 
God forbid !" And how do you expect to avoid 
them ? By following in precisely the same path 
that involved others in their toils ? — by imitating 
that sot, who in youth drank whenever occasion 
offered ? Your good sense will dictate the danger 
of such a course. There is one infallible rule — 
and but one — by following which, every young 
man may be certain of avoiding intemperance, 
and all the long catalogue of evils that invariably 
follow in its train — and that is, to abstain entirely 
from all drinks, as a beverage, that possess power 
to intoxicate, in all places, and under every cir- 
cumstance. Hiis is your only safe-guard ! Ob- 
serve this rule faithfully, and you are safe — you 



132 TEMPTATIONS. 

are entirely beyond the reach of the monster in- 
temperance, and its dreadful consequences. But 
break over this rule, however slightly, and you 
are exposed to great danger. If you become 
what is called "the temperate drinker" — if you 
indulge occasionally in the intoxicating draught — 
you have fairly set out on the highroad to intem- 
perance ; you have overstepped the only line of 
perfect safety, and have no assurance, no guaranty, 
that you will not become a miserable, degraded 
sot ! " But cannot I govern and restrain myself 
within the bounds of moderation ?" says the tem- 
perate drinker. This is precisely the questioji 
asked by every drunkard, while yet drinking but 
temperately ; and the answer can be read in the 
bloated visage, broken constitution, and ruined 
character— in the poverty, and want, and rags of 
their wretched families ! Although all temperate 
drinkers do not become habitual drunkards, yet it 
is quite certain that no man can become intempe- 
rate, without first being a moderate drinker. In- 
temperance is not the work of a moment. Every 
drunkard in the land, was first a temperate drinker; 
and he then felt as certain that he would never 
become the beastly slave of intoxication, as the 
most confident youth who reads these Unes. But 
of what avail was his confidence ? While he yet feh 
strong in his own power of restramt and resistance, 
habit was insidiously winding its massive chains 
around him, binding all his noble, and manly, and 



TEMPTATIONS. 133 

god-like powers in seiritude, and, ere long, he 
sunk the willing slave of one of the most cruel 
task-masters that ever scourged the human race ! 
Young man, listen to me ! and if to any thing in 
these chapters you give heed, I pray you follow 
the advice I now enjoin upon you. Adopt it as 
one of the inflexible principles of your conduct, 
to avoid partaking the inebriatmg draught,* under 
any circumstances whatever ! Then you are per- 
fectly secure. But, I repeat, take any other course, 
and you at once become liable to all the horrors 
of intemperance. In avoiding an admitted evil 
of immense magnitude, why not take the safe and 
certain path, rather than the one that is unsafe 
and uncertain 1 

Avoid, also, as far as possible, the haunts of 
intemperance, and the company of the habitual 
drinkers of intoxicating liquor, lest you become 
ensnared by their evil examples. You should 
give no countenance to the custom of partaking 
of intoxicating drinks, even moderately ; but 
should bring both your example and influence to 
bear against a practice so fraught with evil. 

Dishonesty is another temptation that besets the 
pathway of young men. The desire for wealth 
becomes, in many, so absorbing and uncontrolled, 
that they violate all justice, honesty and virtue, to 
gratify it. In your business transactions, many 

* Except where administered as a medicine in case of 
sickness. 



134^ TEMPTATfON^. 

temptations will beset you to defraud your neigb- 
bor of that which is honestly his. These tempta- 
tions you must summon all your energies to 
withstand. Adopt it as your motto through life, 
to " render unto all their just dues." There 
never was a maxim more true, than that " honesty 
is the best policy." It should be engraven deeply 
upon the heart of every young man. Whenever 
temptations to be fraudulent arise, let them be 
repelled by the truth of this saying. Let it ac- 
company and guide you, and it will keep you in 
the path of rectitude, respectability and peace. 
In being dishonest, you may, in some cases, obtain 
more property than you otherwise would. But 
remember that every farthing you secure in this 
dishonorable manner, instead of making you more 
wealthy, detracts just so much from your real 
riches — from your available means to make your- 
self happy. Dishonesty, however much it may 
increase your wealth, will make you poorer in 
character, poorer in peace, and in every real es- 
sential to human enjoyment. True happiness 
consists in a peaceful and contented mmd ; anc? 
he who possesses these requisites to the highest 
degree, is, indeed, the wealthiest man ! Can ill- 
gotten riches bestow this enjoyment ? As well 
may you take coals of fire in your bosom, and 
not be burned. Be cautious to have all your 
dealings characterized by strict honesty and in- 
tegrity, and your satisfaction and " peace shall be 
as a river." 



TEMPTATIONS. 135 

Another temptation is described in the fifth 
chapter of Proverbs. Let every young man read 
that chapter. Its declarations are words of truth 
and soberness. Let them be believed and adher- 
ed to, and never permitted to escape from your 
memory. So shall you be saved from deep de- 
gradation and wo. 

These are a few of the many temptations which 
beset young men. Guard against them as dead- 
ly foes to your happiness. Remember that vices 
assault the young in gangs. Admit one vice, and 
it will exert all its influence to make way for ano- 
ther, and another- — increasing in strength as they 
multiply in numbers, until you fall a prey to every 
species of iniquity : 

" The first crime pass'd, compels us into more, 
Arid guilt grows fate, that was but choice before." 

" With many persons," says D'Argonne, " the 
early age of life is passed in sowing in their minds 
the vices that are most suitable to their inclina- 
tions ; and the middle age goes on in nourishing 
and maturing these vices ; and the last age con- 
cludes in gathering in pain and anguish, the bit- 
ter fruit of these wretched seeds," The only 
safe method to prevent reaping this wretched crop 
m old age,, is to avoid sowing the seed in youth. 
liCt the seed you now plant in the moral soil, be 
temperance, honesty and virtue, and in advanced 
years, they will afford you a harvest of respecta- 
bility and ease. 



CHAPTEK III. 

THE HABITS. 

Habit is the cherishing of certain emotions and 
the practicing of certain actions, until they Become 
a second nature. It has- jtistly been said that 
*' man is a bundle of habits." From early infan- 
cy to mature manhood, he is forming habits which 
will more or less influence his enjoyments through 
life. Youth, in this respect, is a most important 
period. When the young niaii has a^rrived at 
years of reflection, and has become capable of 
meditating seriously on his future plans, then is 
the favorable time, when the mind is still tender 
and pliable, to correct improper habits formed in 
childhood, and to lay the foundation for those 
useful ones, that will tend greatly to his future 
prosperity. 

That it is all-important for young men to look 
well to the habits they are now forming, is a po- 
sition so evident, that little exertion is necessary 
to establish it. What enabled Franklin, the poor 
printer-boy, to arrive to an eminence which none 
in modern ages have surpassed ? It was acquir- 
ing in his youth, habits of industry, economy, 
perseverance, and patient research. Why does 
one man ascend from obscurity and indigence to 



The habits. 13'!7 

fame and wealth, despite all obstructions, while 
another commences life surrounded by every ad- 
vantage that riches and influential friends can be- 
stow, and yet sinks into insignificance and poverty ? 
This diversity is mainly caused by the difference 
in the formation of their habits. The one depend- 
ed upon his own powers and exertions, and laid 
the foundation of his prosperity, by acquiring in- 
dustrious, persevering, and economical habits — 
the other, relying upon his expected wealth or 
influential friends, failed to qualify himself for any 
useful avocation, and loaded himself with habits 
of indolence, carelessness, and prodigality. 

Young men should be aware that they can 
cause their habits to become whatever they re- 
solve. Firmly determine to be frugal, industrious, 
and temperate, and you easily become so. A 
Cesar, a Napoleon, a Washington, a Cicero, a 
Canning, a Brougham, a Wirt, could never have 
arrived at their celebrity, had they not formed the 
outlines of their career in youth, and formed ha- 
bits which enabled them to fill up these outlines 
with so much success. Youthful habits, as was 
remarked in the preceding chapter, are the seed 
of a crop which must be reaped in after life. If 
your seed be of the true kind — if you obtain habits 
of activity, perseverance, and economy — your crop 
will be beautiful and gratifying. But if your habits 
be the reverse, your harvest will be of a corres- 
ponding character. 



138 THE HABITS, 

"Habits are easily formed — especially such as 
are bad ; and what to-day seems to be a small af- 
fair, will soon become fixed, and hold you with the 
strength of a cable. That same cable, you will 
recollect, is formed by spinning and twisting one 
thread at a time ; but when once completed, the 
proudest ship turns her head towards it, and ac- 
knowledges her subjection to its power. Habits 
of some kind will be formed by every youth. He 
will have a particular course, in which his time, 
his employments, his thoughts and feelings will 
run. Good or bad, these habits soon become a 
part of himself, and a kind of social nature. Who 
does not know, that the old man who has occupied 
a particular corner of the old fire-place, in the old 
house, for sixty years, may be rendered wretched 
by a change ? Who has not read of the release of 
the aged prisoner of the Bastile, who entreated 
that he might again return to his gloomy dungeon, 
because his habits there formed were so strong 
that his nature threatened to sink under the at- 
tempt to break them up ? You will probably find 
no man of forty, who has not habits which he la- 
ments, which mar his usefulness, but which are 
so inwoven with his very being, that he cannot 
break through them. At least he has nqt the 
courage to try."* 

In order to be useful to yourself and your fel- 
low-beings, it is necessary that you enter upon 

* Student's Manual. 



THE HABITS. 139 

some profession or occupation. Even the most 
wealthy, should not be without a definite calling. 
Riches the most immense, often " take wings and 
fly away" — and when he who is thus dispossessed 
of them, is without an occupation, his condition 
in such circumstances, is truly deplorable. The 
occupation or profession, should be chosen in 
accordance with the abilities, taste, and circum- 
stances of each individual — remembering that all 
honest and useful employments are alike honora- 
ble. It is, however, far better to be a good me- 
chanic or agriculturalist, than a poor professional 
man — it is more desirable to be in the respectable 
class of the former, than in the lowest grades of 
the latter. 

The habits necessary to insure success and 
respectability, are many. I will enumerate a few 
of the most prominent. 

Industry is one of the most necessary and use- 
ful of the habits. Says St. Paul— '^ This we 
commanded you, that if any would not work, 
neither should he eat." It is the first law of our 
nature, that every true comfort we enjoy, must 
be purchased by exertion. And it is a law equally 
well established, that all well directed industry, 
shall receive an ample remuneration in health and 
vigor. Of all habits that fetter human powers, 
indolence is the most unmanly and debasing. 
Every thing around you — the earth, air and wa- 
ter—the insect, fowls and beast — all exhibit untir- 



140 TfliS ttABlfS. 

ing industry, and cry out "shame!" against the 
huKian being who will suffer his capabilities to 
iStagnate in the sluggish pool of indolence. Of 
what value is an indolent man to himself or the 
world ? He is good for nothing, and worse than 
useless — is a burthen to himself and a pest to so- 
ciety, and those connected with him. He can not 
be said to exist — he but vegetates, as the weed of 
the garden; and as the weed, he is disrespected 
through life, and at death is forgotten ! 

"Go to the ant, thou sluggard : consider her 
ways and be wise." This little insect furnishes a 
useful lesson to every man of indolence. With 
a prudent foresight, she industriously " provideth 
her meat in the Summer, and gathereth her food 
in the harvest." And when the snows and frosts 
of Winter arrive, they find her fully provided with 
comforts to sustain her until the return of Spring. 
But the indolent man has even less wisdom and 
foresight than the ant. With him the future is 
all unprovided for ; and in an unexpected hour, 
want, as an armed man, seizes him in its bony 
embrace ! As a punishment, God has entailed 
sickness, imbecility, unhappiness, and premature 
death, on the indolent. For what purpose were 
out bodies supplied with joints, sinews, and mus- 
cles, but to be exerted in industrious occupation ? 

The benefits arising from habits of industry, are 
numerous. Industry is the most fruitful source 
of that highest of bodily enjoyments, health. A 



THE HABITS. 141 

due exercise of the bodily and mental functions, 
are prolific sources of earthly happiness. Activity 
opens streams of enjoyment, that would otherwise 
be clogged by indolence, and generate discontent 
and pain. Let the truth settle deep into every 
mind, that health can not long be enjoyed without 
industry. , It would minister far more to the en- 
joyment of the man of wealth, to go out with the 
sturdy woodsman, and make the forest resound 
with the blows of his axe, or to engage in some 
other stirring avocation, than recline in the Deli- 
lahan lap of luxury, to be shorn of his strength 
and energy, and to resort to nostrums to support 
a constitution filled by indolence with the prolific 
seeds of disease ! It is a good proverb, that " we 
had better wear out than rust out." For this 
wearing out, as it is termed, is indeed the pro- 
longing of life and health ; but rusting out, is a 
living death. To secure health, individuals of 
sedentary occupations, should labor or exercise 
more or less, every day, in the open air.* The 
correctness of this rale is constantly becoming 
more and more apparent. " Pray, of what did 
your brother die ?" said the Marquis of Spinola 
to Sir Horace Vere. " He died. Sir," replied he, 
" of having nothing to do.^^ " Alas, Sir," said 
Spinola, "that is enough to kill any general of 
us all." The Turks have a proverb, that " a busy 

* See Combe on the Constitution of man — chap, ii: 

sec. 7. 



142 THE HABITS*. 

man is troubled with but one devil ; but the idle 
man, with a thousand." 

Industry is one of the most certain means of ob- 
taining wealth. Although all industrious men do 
not become Avealthy, yet comparatively few ever 
arose from indigence lo wealth, without this qua- 
lification. And in this land of equality, it is the 
only safe basis upon which to rest your anticipa- 
tions of acquiring property. Making some " lucky 
hit," by which a fortune is acquired at once, is a 
chance that occurs but to a small number; and if 
you wait in indolence for such an opportunity, 
you will undoubtedly pass through life in poverty. 
The greater proportion of the wealthy in this 
country, acquired their property by assiduous in- 
dustry. And I repeat, that this is the only pro- 
per resource upon which to depend to acquire 
riches. Industry ranks among the best recom- 
mendations a young man can possess. He who 
has ihis qualification, can not want for employ- 
ment, assistance, or friends. The industrious 
youth, whose other habits are good, will always 
be respected, patronized, and encouraged. But 
indolence, even though connected with many good 
habits, invariably inspires disrespect and disgust. 

Let every young man, then, firmly resolve to 
establish a habit of industry. "With it, he can ra- 
tionally hope to be almost every thing great and 
good — to obtain every thing proper, and to enjoy 
every thing consistent with virtue and propriety.v 



THE HABITS. 143 

But without it, even though he may inherit weahh, 
he can rationally anticipate nothing but ill health, 
abasement, and wretchedness. 

Perseverance, is another habit which young men 
should acquire. This habit must be long culti- 
vated, before it can be fully obtained. Parents 
should be aware that a trainmg for it, can profita- 
bly be commenced, even in childhood. In his 
infantile undertakings, the child can be influenced 
to persevere until his designs are accomplished. 
And in all the doings of youth, pains should be 
taken to induce them to avoid fickleness of pur- 
pose, and to infuse into their minds, a spirit of un- 
wearied perseverance. This will soon grow into 
a habit, the beneficial influences of which will be 
realized through life. 

A habit of perseverance well adhered to, will ac- 
complish the most surprising results. Throuc^h 
its influence. Napoleon was enabled to scale " the 
cloud-capped Alps"— Franklin to become one of 
the eminent philosophers of the world— and Clin- 
ton to accomplish one of the most splendid pro- 
jects of modern ages. The beautiful islands of 
the Pacific, are but immense coral reefs, raised 
from unknown depths, by the perseverance of mi- 
nute insects, who carry but one grain of sand at 
a time. It is related of the celebrated conqueror, 
Timour the Tartar, that upon an occasion of ad- 
verse fortune, he was compelled to secrete him- 
self from his pursuers in a ruined building.— 



144 THE HABITS. 

While ia this condition, as he was ruminating 
upon his ill fortune, he espied an ant, sedulously 
engaged in efforts to carry a kernel of grain, larger 
than itself, up a high wall. For a long time its 
efforts were unavailing. Still at every defeat, 
would it renew its exertions with unabated energy 
and perseverance. Sixty-nine times did it essay 
to perform this feat, and as often failed. But the 
seventieth time, the industrious insect succeeded 
in gaining the top of the wall with its prize. " The 
sight," said the conqueror, " gave me courage at 
the moment, and I have never forgotten the les- 
son it conveyed." 

The example of the ant, is worthy of all imita- 
tion. Let your plans be deliberately and maturely 
formed — sec that they are honest and honorable — 
and then let " Perseverance" be your watchword, 
and you will seldom fail of success. " I can't," 
never accomplished any thing. " Col. Miller," 
said Gen. P^ipley, at the battle of Niagara, " can 
you carry that battery?" " Gen. Ripley, 1 will 
try !" was the laconic reply. At the head of his 
gallant regiment, he tried, and by uniting bravery 
with perseverance, succeeded in repulsing the foe 
and carrying the battery. " I will try," has ac- 
complished wonders in the world. When the 
habit of perseverance stands by you, as a hand- 
maid, to lend her assistance, you can safely calcu- 
late upon a favorable result in all your reasonable 
operations ; but without this desirable qualifica- 



TREATMENT OF RELIGIOUS ERROR. 113 

express your religious views, and enter into a con- 
troversy to maintain them. It may be proper to 
do so in all those public places above enumerated, 
under very peculiar circumstances — but such in- 
stances are exceedingly rare. I repeat, let pru- 
dence and judgment be your guides in relation to 
this subject, and you will hardly err. 



J^Bi 



A VOICE TO YOUNG MEN. 



CHAPTER I. 

INTRODUCTION. 

The station in society occupied by young men, 
is one of commanding importance and deep re- 
sponsibility. In the course of nature and by the 
usages of mankind, to those who are now young- 
men, must soon be committed in trust, under 
Providence^ all the important interests of commu- 
nity. If the institutions of our country — its civil 
and religious freedom — the numerous advantages 
and facilities which it affords for the improvement 
of mankind in useful knowledge — are to be pre- 
served and perpetuated, it must be mainly through 
their exertions. Upon their arm the nation de- 
pends to repel the foreign foe, and to quell the 
spirit of domestic discord. They will soon com- 
pose our legislative and other deliberative coun- 
cils. It will speedily devolve upon them to enact 
laws and to execute them. In fine, ere long, they 
must give tone to our national voice and national 
character. When the infamous Cataline conspir- 
ed to wrest from Rome her liberties, his first ef- 
fort was to corrupt the young men ; well knowing 
that when they became ripe for misrule, the work 
of desecrating the altar of Liberty, could easily 



^1 



118 INTRODUCTION. 



be accomplished. And true it is, that as the 
young men of a nation are enlightened and virtu- 
ous, or corrupt and ignorant, so are the prospects 
of its future prosperity, or of its speedy overthrow 
and ruin. How necessary that young men should 
become aware of the important responsibilities 
resting upon them, and of the necessity of quali- 
fying themselves to discharge them faithfully ? 
, The condition of young men, in regard to their 
future character, is much more perilous than that 
of the other sex. Being brought by their occu- 
pations, in frequent contact with the unprincipled 
and profligate, they are subject to influences ex- 
tremely deleterious, and to temptations of a se- 
ducing and dangerous character. Absorbed in 
the pursuits of pleasure, or in the strife for wealth 
or fame, they are liable to be led into a careless- 
ness as to the means employed to secure their 
ends. Blindfolded by passion, interest or a thirst 
for enjoyment, thousands rush headlong into those 
vicious practices that plunge their votaries into 
the deep vortex of wretchedness. And yet there 
is a safe path, open for all to pursue, which will 
most certainly lead to respectability, enjoyment 
aAd peace— ^a path which none ever yet followed, 
without escaping many of the evils of life, and ex- 
periencing a prosperity, and an amount of happi- 
ness which are wanting to all who pursue a con- 
trary course. 



SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES. 119 

Young men, will you listen, while I endeavor to 
point out that path, and lay before you some of 
the inducements which call upon you to walk 
therein ? While I may not have time or space to 
go over the whole ground pertaining to your duty 
and interests, still I will engage to bring forward 
motives sufficiently powerful to induce every wise 
and discreet young man, to be cautious and watch- 
ful, as to the measures he adopts to secure pros- 
perity and enjoyment. Your attention is first so- 
licited to — 

THE SELECTION OF COMPANIONS. 

Man is by nature a social being. He delights 
to mingle with his race, and to interchange senti- 
ments and offices of friendship and kindness.-— 
This disposition is peculiarly evinced by the 
young. Every young man selects some one or 
more of those of his rank and condition, to be- 
come his companions or associates. At every op- 
portunity, he seeks their company, to find that en- 
joyment which he supposes he would fail to ob- 
tain by mingling with others. 

The influence exercised by the companions 
with whom you intimately associate, will be pow- 
erful and enduring. " Show me your company, 
and I will show you your character," is an old 
adage and true. The character of the associates 
with whom you mingle, will evince to a good de- 
gree, your inclinations, habits and principles.— 



120 SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES. 

Young men often are not aware, how sensibly 
their reputation is influenced by their compan- 
ions. Do you associate with the vicious, the 
profligate, the intemperate ? You must not be 
surprised if community attribute to you, propen- 
sities of the hke character. What other conclu- 
sion can they draw ? You never prefer the com- 
pany of one man to that of another, without there 
is something more pleasing to you in his habits 
or principles. If you prefer the society of the 
ignorant and corrupt, to that of the enlightened 
and virtuous, there is no indication more certain, 
that your inclinations and tastes tend more pow- 
fully to the characteristics of the former, than to 
those of the latter. However dissimilar, at first, 
may be your tastes, habits and principles, by ming- 
ling constantly in the company of certain indivi- 
duals, you insensibly, yet unavoidably, lose your 
distinctive characteristics, and absorb theirs. — 
As the stream always partakes of the qualities of 
the soil through which it runs, so the principles 
and habits of youth, become invariably tinctured 
by the character of the company in which they 
mingle. 

Great caution, therefore, is necessary in regard 
to your associates. You should not view this as 
a subject unworthy a thought or an exertion.-— 
From among your acquaintance, you should se- 
lect those with whom you would associate. And 
in this choice, let wisdom and discretion be your 



SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES 121 

guides. Remember that you are creatures of imi- 
tation, and that the force of example, is immense, 
informing your characters. If you err in your 
selections — or if, from choice, you associate with 
the profligate and debased, — your condition is 
truly critical. Allowing that your character at 
the commencement of the intimacy, is much bet- 
ter than theirs, how long can it remain so ? It is 
next to impossible for you to raise them to your 
elevation in worth, were you disposed so to do. — i 
But the effect of your intercourse with them, will 
be the reverse. You will be debased to their le- 
vel — you will become saturated with their evil pro- 
pensities — you will imitate their vicious practices 
—be wedded to their corruptions, and finally, will 
be led into the degradation and ruin which is the 
certain result of dissipation and crime. 

By associating with the vicious, you assume 
their character, are weighed by their worth, and 
esteemed by their value, in the eyes of commu- 
nity. You probably recollect the story of the 
dog Tray, and of the difficulties that befel him, 
though innocent, from mingling in bad compa- 
ny. That fable is more frequently enacted in 
real life, than many would suppose. But young 
men do not often become rid of evil companions, 
at as cheap a rate as poor Tray. At the expense 
of one flogging he abandoned the gang forever. — 
But although youth experience many evil con- 
sequences from their corrupt associates, yet it too 



122 SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES. 

frequently happens, that they become so tinctured 
with the love of low and vicious company, and 
their sinful practices, that again and again do 
they return smarting to their embrace. Strong 
and more strong grow the chains that bind them 
to the servitude of evil desires. Vices upon which 
they first looked with horror, gradually become 
less repulsive in their appearance, until they final- 
ly fall helpless and entirely into the slavery of 
their grasp. 

When once you embrace the company of the 
profligate, it will be difficult to dissever the con- 
nexion. They will exert every eifort to induce 
you to continue in bondage with them. All ex- 
ertion on your part to reform, will be met by their 
combined ridicule and opposition. This, added 
to the strong chains of sinful habits, will render 
your return to virtue, a work of extreme difficul- 
ty. Thus by selecting vicious companions, there 
will be an hundred chances to one, against your 
reformation, your success in business, or your 
obtaining a respectable character — but the great 
probability is, that you will experience the fate 
predicted by the wise man — "the companion of 
fools shall be destroyed." You should believe it 
as an immutable truth, that by becoming the com- 
panion of the foolish and corrupt, you will event- 
ually lose your virtuous and upright principles, 
and with them will be destroyed health, reputa- 
tion, peace and happiness ! 



SELECTION OF ASSOCIATES. 123 

With these dangers visibly before them, young 
men of discretion and forethought, will perceive 
the necessity of selecting such associates only, as 
are virtuous and intelligent. In making your 
choice, you should not be influenced by outward 
show, or circumstance ; by pride, or fashion, or 
popularity — you should not be influenced so much 
by condition, as by the qualification. The real 
diflerence in the value of men, arises not from 
their circumstances, but in superiority of mind, 
purity of morals, and amiability of disposition. — 
All are worthy to become your associates who are 
virtuous, amiable and intelligent. Such choose, 
and none others. 

By mingling and associating with people of 
these qualifications, you cannot fail ofbeing high- 
ly benefited. Your natural propensity of imita- 
tion — the influence of their conversation, habits, 
manners and general demeanor — all become pow- 
erful causes operating upon your character and 
forming it to virtue and usefulness. In the pre- 
sence of such individuals, all incentives to vice will 
be Avanting — virtue, religion and useful knowledge 
will appear in their true and lovely forms — and 
trains of thought, action and habit, will be laid, 
that will lead to the most valuable results. An 
intimacy with people of good character, will ele- 
vate you in the estimation of society. Their vir- 
tues, to a considerable extent, will be considered 
yours. Confidence will be reposed in you — as- 



124 SELECTION OF RSSOCIATES. 

sistance rendered you — and the good wishes of 
your fellow-beings will rest upon you. In fine, 
the benefits flowing from the choice of virtuous 
and enlightened associates, are all the reverse of 
the evils growing out of a selection of those who 
are vicious. 

Be cautious to avoid deception in this matter. 
Gay, sociable, pleasant manners, are not always 
the indication of a pure heart, or of virtuous prin- 
ciples. Beneath an agreeable exterior, often lurk 
low, vulgar tastes, vicious propensities and profli- 
gate habits. Become the associate of no one with 
whose character you are not fully acquainted. — 
Form no intimacies, and allow none, until you 
are perfectly satisfied upon this point. This is 
the only safe course you can adopt. 

Listen cheerfully to the advice of parents and 
guardians, in regard to your associates. By their 
superior experience and wisdom, they possess a 
clearer insight into human character than you can 
have obtained ; and they are enabled to look be- 
yond the exterior appearance and accomplish- 
ments, and comprehend to a good degree, the 
real character of youth. Their counsel will be 
of essential benefit in aiding you to avoid the com- 
panionship of the vicious, and in selecting for 
your intimacies, those whose example will be of a 
virtuous and salutary character. 



CHAPTER II 

TEMPTATIONS. 



There are many vicious practices which, ar- 
rayed in deceitful garbs, present themselves to 
young men, and frequently allure them to ruin. 
These temptations throng around the young in 
their most alluring forms, and invite them to par- 
ticipate in what they would cause you to believe 
are their enjoyments. But, young men, beware 
of them — beware / Although they appear before 
you in the garb of friendship— although they ad- 
dress you in sweet and fascinating tones — yet, in 
reality, they are your foes — your most bitter, fatal, 
deadly enemies ! They come to you under the 
specious pretence of improving your condition, 
of affording you enjoyment, of leading you into 
those fair and beautiful fields of pleasure, for 
which you ardently thirst. But, mark me! all 
their pretences are false — all their promises are 
baseless and empty— -and those gorgeous pictures 
which they so vividly paint to your glowing ima- 
gination, are as illusory and vain, as the fleeting 
visions of the midnight dream. In their every 
attempt to bestow enjoyment upon you, their 
highest success can be but a fitful excitement. 



126 TEMPTATIONS. 

which will inflict a real sting, a real poison, to 
your true happiness and peace. Were these 
temptations to present themselves in their true 
colors — were their real features visible — youth 
would reject them instantly. 

" Vice is a monster of so frightful mein, 
As, to be hated, needs but to be seen." 

When vice is seen in its real nature and results, 
it is universally hated. It is only by the disguise 
which temptations assume, the tinsel trappings 
with which they conceal their hideous features, 
that they are enabled to deceive any. When 
young men see these temptations in the grosser 
aspects they assume to their confirmed victims, or 
discover their ulterior and certain results, they 
start back with disgust and horror. The youth 
who beholds the drunkard rolling in the mire, and 
hears his children cry for bread — or sees the pro- 
fligate bloated with disease, or the thief in prison, 
or the murderer upon the gallows — has no inclina- 
tion to be degraded to these conditions ; and has 
no apprehension that such will ever be his cir- 
cumstances. And such, indeed, would never be 
his condition, were he but considerately to trace 
these disastrous results back to their real origin. 
But herein lies the danger of youth. It is diffi- 
cult to convince the young man, that harmless 
temptations, as he imagines them, which are so 
pleasing and enticing to his imagination, are the 
cause of so much pain, and wretchedness, and 



TEMPTATIONS. 127 

iruin. I beseech all candid young men to be con- 
sistent upon this subject. If you would know the 
real effect of giving way to early, and even trivial 
temptations, go and question the miserable vic- 
tims of vice. Amid groans of anguish and una- 
vailing regrets, they will trace to you the history 
of their career, recorded in the annals of infamy 
and shame. They will lead you back, step by 
step, the downward road they pursued. They 
will assure you, that the vices which eventually 
plunged them into ruin, presented themselves to 
their view, in youth, in the same pleasing colors, 
with the same harmless, inoffensive air, that they 
now appear to you. They believed these lying, 
deceitful appearances— they followed the gilded 
shadows — they plunged deep into the vortex of 
misnamed pleasure — and, ere long, they awoke 
involved in the severest anguish and despair ! 

Young men, will you not take warning by the 
living records of crime, which are every where 
scattered around ? Will you wisely scrutinize the 
temptations that beset you, and perceive their 
ruinous effects, and withstand them ? Or will you 
give way to their fascinations, and recklessly 
rush onward in the fool-hardy career, run by so 
many of your race, to awaken to the same de- 
gradation and anguish? Be not so vain as to 
flatter yourself that you can indulge in sinful 
practices, and avoid those dreadful consequences 
which they have invariably entailed upon all who 



128 TEMPTATIONS. 

have been guilty of them. By what reasonable 
rule can you calculate that the laws of God, of 
nature, and of man, will change their mode of 
operation, and relent in their principles and ex- 
actions, in your behalf, when, to all others they 
are undeviating and rigidly certain ? Indulge not, 
for a moment, these ignorant suppositions. Like 
causes must produce like effects. If by giving 
way to early temptations, others have rapidly be- 
come involved in wretchedness and ruin, as you 
well know, the same fate unavoidably awaits you, 
if you imitate their example. 

I will briefly notice a few of the temptations by 
which young men are liable to be beset. 

Gambling is a temptation to which young men 
are exposed. This practice is unjust. It is un- 
just to take the property of another, without re- 
turning a proper equivalent therefor — it amounts 
to robbery ; this the gamester does. Gambling 
is unlawful. No just law can sanction or tolerate 
it. Laws were passed against it, as early as the 
reign of Queen Anne, of England. And from 
that period to the present, in all well regulated 
communities, this practice has been forbidden by 
law. It is an unprofitable occupation. " It is 
certain," says Locke, that "gaming leaves no 
satisfaction behind it, to those who reflect when 
it is over ; and it no way profits either body or 
mind. As to their estates, if it strike so deep as 
to concern them, it is a trade, then, and not a re- 



THE HABITS. 145 

tion, you may commence a thousand projects, 
and fail in all. When a proper business is fairly 
undertaken, or a resolution formed, persevere in 
its pursuit — bend all the proper energies of your 
mind to its service, and let no common induce- 
ment swerve you into another track. " A young 
man who had wasted his patrimony by profligacy, 
whilst standing, on« day, on the brow of a preci- 
pice from which he had determined to throw him- 
self, formed the sudden resolution to regain what 
he had lost. The purpose thus formed, was kept 
and persevered in ; and though he began by sho- 
velling a load of coals into a cellar, for which he 
only received twelve and a half cents, yet he pro- 
ceeded from one step to another, till he more than 
recovered his lost possessions, and died worth 
sixty thousand pounds sterling." 

A well-directed perseverance in a laudable de- 
termination, will insure success against many dis- 
advantages. It will overcome obscurity of birth, 
the want of fortune, and of wealthy and influen- 
tial friends. A case in point, occurred under the 
observation of the writer. I remember well that 
antiquated school-house, in a small hamlet, at the 
north-western part of the State of New-York. 
The teacher procured a silver medal, and sus- 
pended it at his desk in sight of the school, with 
the annunciation that at the end of the term, it 
should be the prize of the scholar who should ex- 
cel. A spirit of eager rivalry was awakened 
10 



146 THE HABITS. 



in the school — all strived assiduously to gain the 
glittering reward. But the eye of memory rests 
particularly upon two lads of nearly an equal age, 
who bore the most prominent part in this intel- 
lectual strife. The disparity in their circum- 
stances was striking. The one, the son of a man 
of wealth and high standing in that community, 
was promised additional rewards by his relatives, 
did he secure the prize. The father of the other 
was poor — all he possessed was honesty and in- 
dustry — and to the son, no other inducement 
could be held out, but the prize itself and the ho- 
nor of obtaining it. And this was sufficient to fire 
his ambition. The son of poverty formed a fixed 
determination that the medal should be his. He 
applied himself to study with the most indomitable 
perseverance — nothing could divert his attention, 
or thwart his purpose. His eft'orts resulted in 
complete success — his industry and perseverance 
met their certain reward. He was crowned vic- 
tor; and with the blushes of boyhood, received 
the envied prize ! In this instance, perseverance 
accomplished what wealth could not. 

Let us trace the history of these lads a little 
farther. After living side by side, engaged in the 
same sports and amusements, a few years after 
the incident above related, they parted. The son 
of the man of wealth, entered higher seminaries, 
to obtain the advantages of a more extended edu- 
cation ; while the other was put to a trade. It 



1 



THE HABITS. 147 

waB then that the latter first felt with force, the 
disparity in the gifts of fortune — first sensibly re- 
alized the evils of poverty. While he was engag- 
ed in laborious occupation, as a means of subsis- 
tence, his early companion was expanding his 
mind with the lights of literature and science, 
with every prospect of occupying a station in life, 
as superior to the other as were his advantages. 
But the poor lad, notwithstanding his adverse cir- 
cumstances, was not disposed to remain in obscu- 
rity. He firmly resolved to make every exertion 
in his power, to arise above the disadvantages of 
birth and indigence. He summoned Industry 
and Perseverance to be his hand-maids, in the 
career he had marked and determined to pursue. 
Every effort was put forth — every means of im- 
provement within his reach, was diligently used — 
and every possible advantage secured. Nor were 
his efforts unavaihng, or his labors fruitless. 
Success, beyond his most sanguine anticipations, 
attended him. And now, at the penning of these 
lines, he occupies a station in one of the most en- 
lightened communities of the world, which, while 
requiring far more talent, is as elevated, as respec- 
table and honorable, as that filled by the wealthy 
companion of his childhood ! These circum- 
stances are not narrated to cast any disparagement 
upon the latter. His course thus far in life, has 
been prosperous and honorable. He occupies a 
station which none can obtain, but those well 



14S THE HABITS. 

skilled in his profession. But they are adverted 
to, solely to convince young men, that enlight- 
ened perseverance can overcome almost every ob- 
stacle in an honorable career. 

Faithfulness, is a habit which the young should 
cultivate. What more desirable qualification can 
a young man possess, than faithfulness to his em- 
ployers, in the discharge of all business and inte- 
rests entrusted to his disposal. Once let a young 
man obtain the name of being faithful in all the 
duties and obligations resting upon him, and he 
secures the confidence of the whole community. 
But once let it be known that he is faithless, and 
all trust in him is destroyed, and his character re- 
ceives a fatal blow. 

Have you business to transact ? Do it faithfully., 
if your own ; and especially so, if it is confided to 
you by others. Have you work to perform ? Let 
it be done faithfully — as near what you contracted 
to do, and as near what it ajypears to be, as pos- 
sible. Avoid all deception in regard to these 
things. A mechanic or a merchant very much 
mistakes his interest, who slights his work, or 
palms off his goods for what they really are not. 
Such men may gain a few dollars in the outset, 
by pursuing this deceptive course ; but a just and 
speedy retribution awaits them. Their decep- 
tions are soon discovered^ — ^their dishonesty is laid 
bare — and an indignant community will withhold 
all farther patronage and encouragement. 



^H£ HABITS. 149 

*'A Mahratta Prince, in passing through a cer- 
tain apartment, one day, discovered one of his 
servants asleep, with his master's slippers clasped 
so tightly to his breast, that he was unable to dis- 
engage them. Struck with the fact, and conclud- 
ing at once that a person who was so jealously 
careful of a trifle, could not fail to be faithful 
when entrusted with a thing of importance, he 
appointed him a member of his body guard. The 
result proved that the prince was not mistaken. 
Rising in office, step by step, the young man soon 
became the most distinguished military comman- 
der in Mahratta ; and his fame ultimately spread 
throughout India." Thus faithfulness will ever 
gain confidence, and is one of the most essential 
ingredients in securing respect and prosperity. 
Be faithful, then— faithful in all you do, even in 
the most trivial things — and a certain reward 
awaits you. 

Punctuality, is another habit which should not 
be overlooked. This habit can easily be fornied, 
but more easily neglected. Begin while young, 
to be punctual in your occupation and in all your 
business transactions, and it will soon become a 
habit that will sit easily upon you, and save you 
from many perplexing difficulties. A man who is 
punctual in fulfilling all his engagements, and in 
discharging all his responsibilities, has many fa- 
cilities and advantages offered him by the business 
community, that are denied those who are known 



150 THE HABITS. 

to be slack and Hegteclfiil. The credit of the 
former stands far higher than that of the latter, 
although his means may not be as ample. " Pro- 
crastination is the thief of time," and the stum- 
bling-block to prosperity. ^' If I had been there 

but a moment sooner ." But you might 

have been there, had the spirit of punctuality 
stirred within you. " Do at once, what at once 
ought to be done. Let not the season of action 
be spent in hesitancy. Do not let to-morrow be 
perpetually the time when every thing is to be 
done." " A time for every thing, and every thing 
in its time — a place for every thing, and every 
thing in its place." These are maxims that should 
be engraven upon the tablet of every young man's 
memory. There is no truth more certain, than 
that if you do not drive your business, your busi- 
ness will drive you. He who drives his business 
has every thing done promptly and correctly, and 
still has leisure at his disposal ; while the indivi- 
dual who is driven by his business, is constantly 
hurried and perplexed — his affairs are in confu- 
sion, and often suffer for want of attention — for 
what is done in a hurry, is generally ill done. 
Study, then, to be punctual, prompt, and metho- 
dical in all your affairs. Punctuality is the " fly- 
wheel" which gives steadiness and precision to all 
the machinery of business. 

Early Rising is a habit that should be sedu- 
lously cultivated. This habit is conducive to 



i 



THE HABITS. 151 

health, to longevity, and to prosperity. When 
your avocations commence with the opening light 
of morning, it gives every thing a forward impulse 
that can be felt throughout the day. But let the 
sun commence his t3aily work long before you 
leave the bed, and all things drag as though a 
spell rested upon them. " A sluggard takes an 
hundred steps, because he would not take one in 
due time." Sum up the hours that are, by many 
people, needlessly spent in bed, and they will 
amount to years in a long life. Napoleon, in the 
midst of his triumphs, allowed himself but four 
hours sleep in the twenty-four. This untiring ap- 
plication to business, was undoubtedly one secret 
of his extraordinary success. There is wisdom in 
the proverb of Solomon — "Yet a little sleep, a 
little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep ; 
so shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, 
and thy want as an armed man." Experience 
testifies t*© the truth of this declaration, that indo- 
lence is the cause of poverty and want. Let the 
young take heed of this danger and avoid it. Let 
the words of the wise man be called vividly to 
mind on retiring to rest, and with due reflection, 
they will arouse you with the dawning light of 
morning. 

Economy is not, by far, the least in importance 
among the habits to be commended to youth. It 
needs no argument to show that a spendthrift 
must, ere long, necessarily be involved in poverty. 



1^3 THE HABITS* 

The young man who expends in useless amuse- 
ments or sinful follies, all he earns, of course can 
lay up nothing to CGmmen€e business for himself, 
or to provide for future misfortunes or wants. 
And such an one can hardly hope for assistance 
in pecuniary matters. The confidence of com- 
munity is wanting ; and when that is gone, all is 
gone. And he who spends more than his income, 
will soon become involved in toils which it will be 
difficult to escape. 

The necessity of economy is acknowledged by 
all ; but with too many, especially the young, it 
is one thing to make this acknowledgment, but 
another and quite different thing, to practice in 
accordance with it. It is not very difficult to 
take care of whatever large sums we may possess,^ 
but it is a work of greater care to economize the 
smaller sums. Hence the propriety of the max- 
im — " take care of the shillings, and the pounds 
will take care of themselves." A man that is 
truly economical, will become rich in saving what 
another deems too little to deserve care. " A 
penny saved, is two pence earned, '' was one of the 
trite sayings of Franklin ; and in practicing it, he 
became wealthy. 

Every young man should study economy, in all 
his expenditures. A trifling sum squandered 
every day, soon amounts to an aggregate of im- 
portance. How many are there in the middle 
and advanced stages of life, who, could they have 



tHE HABITS 153 

what they heedlessly and uselessly spent in youth, 
would be saved from ruin and want. The young 
should remember that every farthing which they 
expend unnecessarily, will cause them to be so 
much poorer through life. I would not inculcate 
a parsimonious, miserly disposition. I would 
have the young generous and liberal in all their 
conduct. But there is a vast distinction between 
the liberal man and the spendthrift. True econo- 
my is not opposed to expenditures for all that is 
necessary fully to supply your own wants, and to 
satisfy the claims of charity, benevolence^ gene- 
rosity, justice, and the public welfare. But far- 
ther than this it forbids your proceeding. It calls 
upon you to husband your means carefully, and 
to avoid all sinful, frivolous, and useless expences. 
If young men desire to obtain a competency, this 
is the only safe method to secure it. 

Young men should also be economical of time. 
" Time is money," says Dr. Franklin. An hour 
or a day needlessly idled away, is so much money 
taken from your pocket. Let all your time be 
occupied usefully. Your leisure hours, should 
not be idle hours. A useful book, or other pub- 
lication — the conversation of select friends — the 
obtaining in any proper manner of valuable infor- 
mation — should occupy those hours not devoted 
to business. Men who have distinguished them- 
selves in the world, have always been economical 
of time. One of the most industrious men in 



154 THE HABITS. 

England, is Lord Brougham. He often does not 
leave the House of Lords until midnight, and yet 
he always rises by four o'clock, A. M. And by 
thus husbanding his time, he has been enabled to 
attend to a greater diversity of interests, and to 
despatch a greater amount of business, than any 
other individual of the present age. Dr. Cotton 
Mather, to prevent his time being wasted too 
much by visitors, placed in large characters over 
the door of his study, the motto — " Be brief." 
Professor Vorsinus, of the University of Heidel- 
berg, for the same purpose, wrote over the door 
of his library—" Whoever thou art that enterest 
here, be briefer get you gone.'''' Scaliger, profes- 
sor of the Belles-Lettres, at Ley den, whom his 
friends denominated " an ocean of science," and 
'* the master-piece of nature," inscribed on the 
door of his study : " Tempus meum est ager meus^'''' 
(My time is my field.) " Sire, one word," said a 
soldier one day, to Frederick the Great, on pre- 
senting a lieutenant's commission for his signa- 
ture. " If you utter two,'" said the industrious 
prince, " I will cause you to be hung up by the 
heels." " Sign," said the soldier. The mon- 
arch, astonished at his presence of mind, granted 
his request. Let young men cultivate such ha- 
bits of economy in time, and in after years they 
will realize the beneficial fruits of their wisdom. 

Temperance. — -The evils of intemperance, I 
have already adverted to in a former chapter. 



THE HABITS. 155 

Habits of temperance are of the utmost utility to 
health, usefulness, and success in business. And 
here I would repeat that temperance in drink, is 
entire abstinence from intoxicating liquors of every 
character. Adopt this judicious rule, and you 
are entirely absolved from all danger of becoming 
engulfed in the wretchedness and ruin of the 
habitual drunkard. But if you 6verstep this line, 
and become what is sometimes termed the tem- 
perate drinker, you are exposed to imminent dan- 
ger ; and the chances are greatly against you, that 
you will ere long be involved in the deepest evils 
of intemperance. The only way to be insured 
against intemperance and its woes, is to avoid the 
commencement of the evil, by refraining wholly 
from all intoxicating drinks as a beverage ! 

It is also necessary to acquire habits of tempe- 
rance in regard to food. In the Scriptures the 
glutton and the drunkard are ranked upon nearly 
the same level ; and so heinous were these habits 
considered by the Israelites, that they punished 
those guilty of them, by stoning to death. Glut- 
tony is a vile and low habit, and assimilates its 
victims far too near the nature of the swine. It is 
the fruitful source of the most painful diseases, 
and leads to a premature grave. Let every young 
person avoid it as they value respectability and 
comfort — for it is highly destructive to both. 
Read the words of Ecclesiasticus — "Eat modestly 
that which is set before thee, and devour not, lest 



% 



156 THE HABITS. 



thou be hated. When thou sittest among many, 
reach not thy hand out first of all. A whole- 
some sleep Cometh of a temperate belly. Such 
a man riseth up in the morning, and is well at 
ease with himself. Be not too hasty of meats : 
for excess of meats bringeth sickness, and chole- 
ric diseases cometh of gluttony." 

Temperance also forbids the use of tobacco, in 
any form or manner. Those who urge the pro-^ 
priety of temperance in drink, and yet use that 
nauseous weed, are inconsistent — they are tem- 
perate in one respect, but intemperate in another; 
they abjure one evil and cling to another. The 
man who lectures publicly against intoxicating 
drinks, with his mouth loaded with filthy tobac- 
co, or his nostrils filled with snuff, furnishes a 
most beautiful commentary on consistency and 
propriety ! In the great majority of cases, to 
those who use tobacco, it is not only useless and 
uncalled for, but it is absolutely injurious to 
health and appearance. And it is now becoming 
generally believed, that tobacco is not necessary 
to health in any case — or, in other words, that in 
those few instances where it has been considered 
beneficial, health and soundness can be procured 
much better by another course of treatment. It 
is estimated that in the United States, $16,000,000 
are annually expended in the consumption of to- 
bacco ! Were this enormous sum, which is now 
worse than thrown away, to be applied to internal 



THE HABITS. 157 

improvements, or to the education of the people, 
how immense would be the benefits that would 
flow therefrom. 

" If you have ever learned to chew or smoke 
that Indian weed, called tobacco, I beg that you 
will at once drop all, cleanse your mouth, and 
never again defile yourself with it. Let a man be 
thrown from a shipwreck upon a desert island, 
and in a state of starvation, and he would rather 
die than to eat this weed, though the island might 
be covered with it ; and n,o youth can use it, 
either in chewing, smoking, or snuffing, without 
decided and permanent injury to his appearance 
and health, and progress in study. When the 
fashion was so strong in England, that James I. 
could get no one to preach against it, his own 
royal hand took the pen and wrote a treatise which 
he denominates ' A Counterblast to Tobacco.'' 
The strength of his princely antidote may be gath- 
ered from the following closing paragraph of this 
royal counterblast : ' It is a custom loathesome to 
the eye, hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, 

dangerous to the lungs, and i<n the black fume 

thereof, nearest resembling the horrible Stygian 
sm«ke of the pit that is bottomless.' AH expe- 
rienced people will tell you that the habit of using 
tobacco, in any shape, will render you emaciated 
and consumptive, your nerves shattered, your 
spirits low and moody, your throat dry, and de- 
manding stimulating drinks, your person filthy, 



158 THE HABITS. 

and your habits slovenly."* " In fact, not a few 
persons are made drunkards by this very means. 
Dr. Rush has a long chapter on this subject, in 
one of his volumes, which is well worth your at- 
tention. In addition to all this, it has been ob- 
served that hi fevers and other diseases, medicines 
never operate well in constitutions which have 
been accustomed to the use of tobacco." With 
these facts in view, young men of sense and dis- 
cretion, surely will not contract habits which 
cause them sickness and pain in obtaining them, 
and which, when obtained, so far from being any 
benefit, are the cause of evil only, and that con- 
tinually. I speak as unto wise men. 

Finally, adopt the motto — " Temperance in all 
things" — adhere to it strictly, and as a general 
rule, your reward will be health, cheerfulness, 
and a green old age. 1 

" Keep out of debt,^^ is a good maxim for young 
men. Much depends upon habit in this respect. 
A young man, if so disposed, can generally avoid 
becoming involved in debt. If he is prudent and 
economical, there will be no necessity, in all ordi- 
nary cases, of becoming indebted. If a young 
man who has none to provide for but himself, can 
not avoid debt, his prospects of future success 
must be exceedingly dark. If you have not the 
means at hand, avoid making any expenditure at 

* Student's Manual. 



1 



THE HABITS. 159 

all, until you can pay promptly. This is the bet- 
ter way. By adopting this rule, many a young 
man has been deterred from contracting debts 
for that which was unnecessary and useless. 

Avoid cherishing a fault-finding disposition. 
There are those who so incessantly indulge in 
complaints against men and things, against the 
weather, the times, the ways of Providence, and 
even themselves, that it finally becomes a deep- 
seated and confirmed habit. Fault-finding seems 
tp be the vital atmosphere they inhale; and they 
can nott exist satisfactorily to th-emselves, without 
waging a perpetual war of complaints against 
every body, and every thing. Such people be- 
come an evil to themselves, and to all with whom 
they mingle— they are a morose genus^ from 
whose presence contentment and happiness flee 
away. Avoid this disagreeable habit, as far as pos- 
sible. Cultivate a cheerful, contented disposition. 
Always be disposed to look upon the bright side 
of things, and to throw the veil of charity over the 
imperfections of mankind, rather than to indulge 
in useless complaints. Man was not intended for 
perfection in this life ; and he who looks for it, 
and complains that he does not find it, will be con- 
stantly disappointed, and possess an endless theme 
of dissatisfaction. The world is as it is, and fault- 
finding will not mend it. Better, far, to smile than 
to growl at its failings — and better still to amend 
our own faults and inconsistencies, and endeavor 



160 THE HABITS. 

by kind precept and faithful example, to improve 
our fellow-beings, rather than to huri captious 
complaints against them. Make the best use of 
what you have, and do the best you can in the 
discharge of all your duties, and trust the rest to 
the care of the wise Disposer of all events. 



CHAPTER IV. 

CONVERSATION. 

Language is one of the most important gifts 
bestowed upon man, by a bountiful Providence. 
It holds a high rank among the peculiar faculties 
by which the human race are pre-eminently dis- 
tinguished from other classes of beings on earth. 
By the aid of language we communicate to each 
other our thoughts, our inclinations, wishes, hopes 
and fears — by language we interchange all the sen- 
timents of the heart — soul mingles with soul, and 
the dearest and sweetest connexions in life are 
tbrmed. But as every blessing the goodness of 
God has bestowed upon man, can be perverted 
from its original design, and made the source of 
evil, so language often becomes the medium by 
which great wretchedness is occasioned. *' The 
tongue," says St. James, though *' a little mem- 
ber, is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison." This 
is said in reference to an unguarded tongue. 
When the tongue is made the instrument of ca- 
lumny, falsehood, licentiousness, and profanity — 
when it is made to give utterance to the vile and 
sinful thoughts pf a corrupt heart-^it truly be- 
ll 



162 CONVERSATION. 

comes " an unruly evil, full of deadly poison V 
But a strictly guarded and well-disciplined tongue, 
is an instrument capable of accomplishing great 
good ! A few remarks, therefore, upon the sub- 
ject of conversation, can not be inappropriate to 
the consideration of the young. 

The first important requisite in conversation, is 
discretion. The old proverb says, " a wise man 
thinks all that he says, and a fool says all that he 
thinks." The meaning of this maxim is, that the 
wise man selects his thoughts for conversation, 
from the mass that is floatmg in his mind. Wise 
men have many improper thoughts, as well as 
other people ; but one trait of their wisdom is, to 
keep such thoughts to themselves, and give utter- 
ance only to such as are proper and useful. But 
every thing that enters the minds of the foolish — 
whether proper or improper, wise or simple — runs 
off from the ends of their tongues ; and in this 
consists one portion of their folly. A safe rule to 
adopt is, to be cautious to whom you speak, what 
you speak, and in whose presence you speak. A 
strict scrutiny in these respects, will become a safe- 
guard that will always keep you within the bounds 
of propriety and prudence. 

As conversation is a means, under proper man- 
agement, by which the most important knowledge 
can be obtained, it should be your endeavor to 
seek out the company of the experienced and the 
well-informed. The conversation of a wise man, 



CONVERSATION. 163 

like the gentle showers of the Summer, falls upon 
youthful hearts with an inspiring and fructify- 
ing influence — it sows the seeds of useful know- 
ledge, and lays the foundation of virtues which, in 
after life, expand into a character rich in every va- 
luable qualification. In conversing with such peo- 
ple, mark the language they use, the manner of 
their expression, and their general demeanor, that 
you may acquire a correct and intelligent method 
of conveying your own thoughts. I would not have 
you servilely imitate the whole manner and ex- 
pression of others; but you well know that 
thoughts can be uttered either in an obscure, 
broken, unintelligent, and vulgar manner, or in a 
way that is clear, perspicuous, and genteel. To 
secure this latter method, great assistance can be 
gained by observing ihe manner of those who 
possess it, and adopting a general course similar 
to theirs. 

To obtain information, your conversation should 
be varied in accordance with the condition and 
occupation of those with whom you speak. To 
converse with the merchant or professional man, 
upon the mechanic arts — or with the mechanic, 
on agriculture — or with the farmer, on the rise 
and fall of stocks, or on the minutiae of commerce, 
or on literary criticisms — as a general result, your 
stock of information would receive but little ad- 
dition. With every individual, I repeat, you 
should endeavor to lead the conversation to those 



164 CONVERSATION. 

topics whereon they are " at home" — subjects 
relating to their particular calling, and in regard 
to which they are supposed to be well informed. 
In this manner, from every person, however limit- 
ed his general knowledge, you can gain informa- 
tion which can be turned to good account. 

Confine not your conversation to people of one 
opinion, or of the same class, sect, or party, either 
in regard to religion, politics, or any other sub- 
ject. By hearing different opinions and senti- 
ments advanced and advocated upon the same to- 
pic, you have a much more favorable opportunity 
of deciding where truth resides, and of increasing 
your general stock of knowledge, than you possi- 
bly could, were you to restrict your intercourse 
exclusively to one party or class. And here let 
me caution you, to permit not the truth or value 
of any sentiment you may hear uttered by an in- 
dividual, to be decided by your prepossessions for 
or against the party or sect to which he may belong; 
but solely by the consistency and reasonableness 
of the sentiment itself — by its agreement or oppo- 
sition to the dictates of wisdom, and to known 
and well established facts. From every party 
and sect, much information that is useful can be 
obtained, if they are listened to with candor and 
discrimination. 

In company, conversation should not be allowed 
to stagnate, as it causes all to feel awkward and 
unpleasant. To obviate this difficulty, if proper 



CONVERSATION* 165 

topics do not readily occur, let some valuable 
publication be read aloud by one of the party. 
Each paragraph may become the subject of gene- 
ral comment, as it is read — every individual who 
feels inclined, expressing his opinion in regard to 
its merits. In this manner, a flow of conversation 
can be kept up, that will be entertaining and use- 
ful to all. 

Beware in company, of speaking against an ab- 
sent person. In such cases, your words will seem 
to be conveyed on the wings of the wind. The 
individual who is the subject of your remarks, 
will assuredly hear of them, and you will be ex- 
tremely liable to become involved in difficulty from 
your thoughtlessness. By detracting from the 
merits of the absent, the company will be at liber- 
ty to surmise that you are actuated by envy or 
malice; and thus you may lower yourself in their 
estimation, instead of the person against whom 
your remarks are directed. A certain eccentric 
individual was always observed, at parties, to be 
among the last that retired. On being interro- 
gated why he uniformly tarried so long, he replied, 
that " as soon as a man was gone, they always 
began to talk against him ; and, consequently, he 
thought it always judicious to stay till none were 
left to slander him." There is too much truth in 
this suggestion. To speak disparagingly of the 
absent, is a failing too generally indulged. It 
should, however, be guarded against, as a prac- 



166 CONVERSATION. 

tice alike unjust, indelicate, and ungentlemanly. 
It is doing unto others precisely as we would not 
have others do unto us. 

Be cautious upon what topics you converse. 
Never introduce or speak upon subjects that are 
indelicate, profane, or in any way improper. There 
is no greater indication of a lack of good breeding, 
jthan a violation of this rule. Especially avoid 
indulging levity upon sacred subjects. Religion 
is a topic too important — the names of our Crea- 
tor and of our Redeemer, are too sacred — to be 
mentioned in a light, trifling manner, or to be 
made themes for ridicule or merriment. 

Avoid interlarding your conversation with vul- 
gar sayings and low expressions. Many are fond 
of indulging in double entendres — in conveying by 
emphasis or gesture, some indelicate idea, under 
a form of decent language. This habit should be 
carefully avoided by every young man who would 
lay claims to gentility. Anecdotes of a lascivious 
character, or such as terminate in an attempt at 
vulgar wit, should never be permitted to pass your 
lips. 

Never be guilty of using profane language. In 
this respect, young men are extremely liable to 
err. It seems that some view it as an accom- 
plishment, a mark of gallantry and manhood, to 
intersperse their conversation with oaths and im- 
precations. But this is a great mistake. There 
is no more certain evidence of ill manners, and of 



CONVERSATION. 167 

familiarity with low company, than the habit of 
swearing. It shows an evident want of true taste 
and politeness. Lord Chesterfield, who is good 
authority on this subject, says that oaths are ne- 
ver heard in the language of a real gentleman. It 
is true, some who lay pretensions to gentility, in- 
dulge in this low habit ; but their pretensions are 
not well founded. This one practice displays 
their vulgarity as evidently as though the word 
were branded upon their forehead. Permit me, 
therefore, to urge the young man whose eye is 
scanning these lines, to refrain entirely from this 
base practice. It is not only wicked in the sight 
of God — not only impolite, dishonorable, and un- 
gentlemaniy — but useless, uncalled for, and abso- 
lutely silly ! If you would be respected by your- 
self and by others, be not contaminated by that 
vulgarity which invariably degrades you in the 
estimation of the discreet and wise. And when- 
ever your companions indulge in profanity, exer- 
cise all your influence, by entreaty, persuasion, or 
even ridicule, to induce them to abandon a habit 
which ranks them with the lowest of our race. 
It is hardly necessary to say, that it is exceedingly 
impolite and indecorous to use profane language 
in company — especially in the company of ladies ! 
This the good sense of every intelligent young man 
will dictate ; and he will, therefore, not allow him- 
self to be guilty of such vulgarity. 

Do not engross the whole attention of the so- 



168 CONVERSATIOSr* 

cial circle. You should recollect that others have 
ideas as well as you— that their desire to express 
them may be as strong as yours, and that the 
company may be as highly edified by their con- 
versation, a« by the uninterrupted flow of your 
own thoughts. Remember the adage — "Water 
running from a bottle nearly empty, makes more 
noise than in running from one that is full." 
People will sometimes apply this to those who 
monopolize a great proportion of the conversation. 
Whenever the propensity seizes you to talk much 
more than others, in company, think of the loud 
sound of the einpty bottle ; and allow the suspi- 
cion to enter your mind, that perhaps those who 
are compelled to listen, are thinking of it also. 
This will be a salutary curb, and will be likely to 
keep you within the bounds of politeness. 

Avoid speaking much of yourself and your own 
exploits, in a mixed company. He who makes 
himself the theme of his whole conversation, is 
very liable to become exceedingly ridiculous in the 
eyes of others. It has the appearance of holding 
a very elevated rank, in your own estimation — and 
that of all the subjects that have engrossed the 
attention of man since the world began, none seem 
to you so worthy the notice of those in your pre- 
sence, as your own attractions. A little reflection 
on the ridiculous light in which you would thus 
place yourself, will cause you to avoid this display 
of littleness and vanity. 



CONVERSATION. 169 

Do not make others the subject of ill-natured 
jests. It may for the moment, produce a laugh 
in the company ; but it may, also, send a shaft 
that will rankle deep in some heart, and become 
the source of bitter enmity towards you. 

When an individual is addressing you, avoid 
seeming inattentive to his remarks. It has the 
appearance of holding him in slight estimation, 
and is equivalent to saying, " I deem you of too 
httle importance to claim my notice." 

Beware of entering into loud and boisterous 
disputation or wrangling upon any topic, in com- 
pany. If the opinions you may happen to express, 
are objected to, and you are thus compelled, as it 
were, to enter upon their defence, do it with calm- 
ness and serenity. Keep yourself perfectly cool 
and collected ; and avoid showing the least symp- 
tom of anger. Nothing is more impolite, and 
nothing gives your opponent greater advantage 
over you, than to burst out into a blaze of rage. 
Carefully avoid such a catastrophe. If he becomes 
angry, do you not fail to be good-natured— if he 
frowns, do you smile— if he resorts to calumny 
and vituperation, do you return it with forgiveness 
and kindness. " A good word for a bad one, is 
worth much and costs but little." You can not 
fail to obtain a sensible advantage by pursuing this 
course. These remarks will apply especially to 
religious topics. A friendly conversation, or dis- 
putation upon controverted points of rehgious 



170 CONVERSATION. 

faith, is both pleasant and instructive, when the 
parties remain in a mild and well-governed state 
of mind. But if one or both become angry^ all 
pleasure and profit ceases — it becomes a strife of 
bad feelings and acrimonious personalities, instead 
of that proper interchange of opinions, whereby 
truth is elicited. When ihe feelings become 
aroused to this disagreeable state, evidence and 
argument are of no avail ; they make no convin- 
cing and lasting impression, and the conversation 
had better be closed at once — for 

" A man convinced against his will, 
Is of the same opinion still." 

Never flatly contradict another in conversation. 
It is much more proper to say, " that, perhaps, is 
a mistake," than to exclaim, " that is a he." The 
former is a more honorable and gentlemanly man- 
ner of contradicting a statement, than the latter. 
When you are compelled to differ from another, 
in any sentiment he has uttered, do it with ex- 
pressions of regret that your views call upon you 
to sustain opinions of a diverse character. This 
will tend to remove or prevent harshness and as- 
perity — it will prepossess him in favor of the 
friendly spirit which you exhibit, and cause him 
to view your sentiments in a more favorable light 
than he would were you to pursue a different 
course. 

Be not too positive in any of your statements. 
You will frequently discover yourself wrong, when 



CONVERSATION. 171 

you feel very positive you are right. Every sub- 
ject has two sides ; and before you form a conclu- 
sive opinion, or enter upon the defence of an opi- 
nion, be certain that you have fairly seen and 
examined both sides. A botanist, in publishing an 
account of a flower denominated " the bee-orchis," 
described it as having the form of a hee painted 
upon its leaves. Another writer publicly contra- 
dicted this statement, and maintained that it was 
the figure of a ^3/ that was impressed upon the pe- 
tal of the flower. In this, however, he displayed 
the limited extent of his information upon this sub- 
ject, for there are two species of orchis flower — 
the bee- orchis and the fly-orchis. Had not this 
writer been so very positive, he would not have 
displayed and published his ignorance to the world. 
I repeat, then, be not too positive upon any sub- 
ject, or too precipitate in expressing your opinion. 
Give every topic a thorough examination before 
you become its advocate. 

Permit me here to caution young men against 
that ungentlemanly practice, in which too many 
indulge, of speaking in a light and disparaging 
manner of the female character in general. Some 
young men seem to imagine it exceedingly wise 
and knowing, to indulge in these general suspi- 
cions. But they invariably indicate a weak head, 
an unkind, ungenerous disposition, and a wicked 
and corrupt heart. Such young men should re- 
member that their mothers, sisters, and future 



172 CONVERSATION. 

wives, are all included in these sweeping denun- 
ciations. If they possess any love or respect for 
them, their lips will be closed to these vile and 
unfounded calumnies. 



CHAPTER V. 

AMUSEMENTS. 

This is a subject fraught with difficuhy. Man- 
kind are furnished with many faculties that are 
capable of bestowing much amusement ; which 
"sufficiently shows us," says Addison, "that 
Providence did not design this world should be 
filled with murmurs and repinings, or that the heart 
of man should be involved in gloom and melan- 
choly." That it is proper, yea, necessary, for the 
young to seek occasional amusement, is a subject 
which admits of but little dispute. The bow must 
frequently be unbent, to retain its elastic spring. 
So the body must obtain relaxation from labor, or 
it speedily wears out — and the mind must be oc- 
cupied, at proper intervals, with lighter and more 
diversified topics, than a constant grapple with 
abstract sciences, and the cares and perplexities 
of life, or its delicate and wonderful machinery 
becomes disordered. To be healthy, the body 
must frequently change its posture—to conti- 
nue sound, the mind must unbend from its high 
vocations, and seek rest by a resort to the powers 
of the imagination. 



174 AMUSEMENTS. 

There is a thought connected with this topic, 
of whiiih the young should be aware. Amuse- 
ment cannot be obtained except at the expense of 
experiencing something of a contrary character. 
Without weariness you can never reahze the en- 
joyment of rest— without hunger and thirst, you 
can not know the satisfaction of partaking of food 
and drink. And be it remembered, that without 
appHcation to business — without industrious ex- 
ertion in some occupation which is more or less 
painful — you can not possibly find amusement, 
properly speaking, in any thing. It is alone by 
contrast that amusement possesses attractions. 
Destroy the contrast, and the amusement is de- 
stroyed. How often, in the midst of some scene 
of amusement, does the wish escape the bosom of 
the young — " O that I could alv/ays remain en- 
gaged in these gratifying pastimes I" Alas, igno- 
rant youth ! know that were these seasons of 
amusement to continue without interruption, soon 
would they become as irksome and painful as la- 
bor — soon would they lose all their charms, and 
be distasteful and insipid ! Those who are ena- 
bled by wealth to make pleasure, as it is termed, 
the whole occupation of life, find it far more diffi- 
cult to obtain ainusement, than people in the hum- 
bler walks of life. Pleasure is their business, their 
trade ; and it often becomes as onerous and irk- 
some to them, as any occupation does to others. 
The young should, therefore, remember that they 



AMUSEMENTS. 175 

cannot obtain amusement from any source whatever^ 
ivithout they are prepared for it hy previous indus- 
try, labor, and deprivation. As well can food be 
grateful to a stomach already overloaded and sur- 
feited. 

While it is universally conceded that amuse- 
ment is proper to youth, the character of that 
amusement is a serious and important question, 
in regard to which there exists a diversity of opin- 
ion. Such is the infirmity of human nature, that 
whatever is pleasing and gratifying for a season — 
made so by previous deprivation — we are liable to 
indulge in to such excess, that it becomes an evil, 
generating pain and wretchedness. From the 
very nature of the subject, the young must be left, 
in a good degree, to the guidance of their own 
judgment and discretion, in regard to their recrea- 
tions. Their parents and guardians can not al- 
ways be with them in their amusements. They 
must, therefore, bring to bear that self-control 
which will restrain excess, or the evil will be upon 
their own heads. There is as much need of tem- 
perance in amusements, as in relation to any other 
subject. "Without a temperate forbearance, the 
most harmless amusements become the sources 
of unhappiness. The very circumstance that we 
have too much of a good thing, makes it good for 
nothing — mak^s it an evil rather than a good. 
Young men should, therefore, exercise caution 
and circumspection, and much forethought, in 



A 



176 AMUSEMENTS. 

selecting their amusements. They should choose 
those that possess the least liability to lead to ex- 
cess and ruin — if possible, they should select those 
which both please and instruct. 

"Pleasure, or wrong or rightly understood, 
Our greatest evil, or our greatest good." flHi 

Card playing is often resorted to by the young; 
for amusement. Although the act of card playing 
for recreation, when considered simply in and of 
itself, is not injurious, yet as its associations and 
tendencies are dangerous, and as it occupies hours 
that might be spent more profitably, the practice 
should be avoided. There is nothing in this 
amusement that can be beneficial. It affords no 
useful exercise for the mind — stores it with no 
valuable ideas— not even admitting of conversa- 
tion to any extent, except upon the trivial subject 
of the game. It is one of the most unmeaning, 
unprofitable, and fruitless employments to which 
the mind can well be directed. But the great ob- 
jection to card playing, is its dangerous tendency. 
An expenness in this practice, is liable to induce 
a desire to venture a small hazard at the gaming- 
table, and then a larger and larger still, until a 
tJiirst for gaming is acquired, which leads to pov- 
erty and wretchedness. I would, therefore, advise 
young men to avoid card playing entirely. It 
dtin not possibly bestow any benefit upon them ; 
but it can lead them into the most sinful practices ; 
it can lead and has led to the dungeon and the 



AMUSEMENTS. 177 

gallows ! Who is willing to run this hazard, for 
the sake of the httle amusement this practice can 
impart ? 

" Dancings for those whose occupations are of a 
sedentary character, such as students and many 
classes of mechanics, would be an appropriate ex- 
ercise, if it were not perpetually abused. But by 
assembling in large crowds, continuing it late at 
evening, and then sallying out in a perspiration, 
into the cold or damp night air, a thousand times 
more mischief has been done, than all the benefit 
which it has afforded would balance." And be- 
sides, as dancing assemblies are usually conducted^ 
they become, to many young men, the nurseries 
of intemperance, prodigality, and indolence. "It 
were greatly to be wished that this exercise might 
be regulated by those rules which human experi- 
ence has indicated, instead of being subject to the 
whim and caprice of fashion. It is a great pity 
an exercise so valuable to the sedentary, and es^ 
pecially to those who sit much, of both sexes, 
should be so managed as to injure half the world, 
and excite against it the prejudice of the other 
half."* As it is, however, young men who wish 
to preserve good moral and physical habits, should 
wholly refrain from mingling in those routs, balls, 
and assemblies, where dancing is continued to a 
late hour, and where the intoxicating beverage is 



* Young Man's Guide. 
12 



178 AMUSEMENTS. 

freely Girculated. Amid suqIi scenes, inclinations, 
tastes and habits of the naost deleterious tendency, 
may be formed — the germs of vices may there be 
obtained, which lead to utter wretchedness and 
degradation. 

Theatres are another source of amusement to 
which young men often resort. That theatres^ 
might be made instructive — that they might be 
made schools of morality and virtue — is undoubt- 
edly true. But that they are such, all know to be 
false. As they are now managed, they become 
the fountain, the very hot-bed of immorality. 
Every vicious habit, and every sinful propensity, 
there finds a stimulant. Lewd songs, lewd dances, 
gestures and expressions, are constantly brought 
to the attention of the audience. And it must be, 
that theatre-going people, of both sexes, are fond 
of these indelicate exhibitions, or actors, Avhose 
interest it is to cater for the public taste, would 
not dare to indulge in them. Were these immo- 
ralities to be indignantly frowned down by the au- 
dience, upon every representation, they would soon 
be banished from the stage. But as long as they are 
received with evident marks of approbation, these 
streams of pollution will still continue to send 
their contaminations into the hearts of thousands. 

No young man can be in the habit of attending 
theatres, without extreme liability to become cor- 
rupted in every principle. Dr. Griscom, of New- 
York, in a report make a few years ago, on the 



AMUSEMENTS. ^79 

causes of vice and crime in that city, says— * 
^' Among the causes of vicious exeitement in our 
city, none appear to be so powerful in their na- 
ture, as theatrical amusements. The number of 
boys and young men who have become determined 
thieves, in order to obtain the means of introduc- 
tion to the theatres and circuses, would appal the 
feelings of every virtuous mind, could the whole 
truth be laid before them." Rosseau, Sir John 
Hawkins, Archbishop Tillotson, Bishop Collier, 
Sir Matthew Hale, Burgh, Dr. Johnson, Lord 
Kaimes, with a multitude of other distinguished 
writers, all bear testimony against the demoraliz- 
ing and highly corrupting influence of theatres. 
They are among the most dangerous places to 
which young men can resort for amusement ; and 
the safest course is to abstain from them entirely. 
The love for this amusement, like that for alcohol, 
grows imperceptibly, until the heedless youth be- 
comes its slave and its victim. And, therefore, as 
in regard to intoxicating drinks, the only point of 
security, respecting the evil influences of theatres, 
is total abstinence ! 

Young men need not lack for proper amuse- 
ment. By an enlightened discrimination, they 
can find an abundant supply from sources not 
only innocent, but instructive. Recreations in 
the open air, for those whos« occupations are se- 
dentary- — the perusal of interesting booka and 
other publications — the frequenting of well con- 



180 AMUSEMENTS. 

ducted reading rooms, and an attendance at lyce- f 
ums, and other meetings fbr public lectures — al! 
afford amusement combined with useful instruc- 
tion. Social parties, and a frequent entrance into 
the various family circles of your friends, are pro- I 
lific sources of innocent recreation. And I can I 
not forbear urging young men (if, indeed, it is " 
necessary to urge them) to frequent, in their lei- 
sure hours, the company of intelligent and virtu- 
ous females, of the class with whom they asso- 
ciate. Nothing tends more to polish a young 
man, and to refine his tastes and his manners, 
than the society of the virtuous of the other sex. 
In such company, vulgarity and profanity will be 
rebuked, and a guard will be placed upon the lip 
and the actions, that can not but exercise a salu- 
tary tendency. 

In conclusion, I would repeat that, in regard to 
amusements, much depends upon the discretion, 
the self-control and good sense of young men. 
You desire to be respectable, prosperous, and 
happy. But bear this truth in mind, that you 
can not become so, except by your own exertions, 
your own forbearance and discietion. Your inte- 
rests and enjoyments are vitally involved in the 
character of your amusements. Deeply fix the 
resolution in your mind, to indulge in no recrea- 
tion that is not of an innocent nature, and of a 
strict moral tendency, and you will exhibit a wis- 
dom productive of immense benefits. 



CHAPTER VI. 

DRESS. 

tthe primary object in dress, is to afford cover- 
ing and comfort to the body, and to add to it a 
comely and pleasing appearance. These are the 
only essential reasons which render apparel neces- 
sary, and are the only proper purposes for which 
it can be assumed. 

There are two extremes in dress, into which 
people often run — slovenliness, and foppery. It 
should be the study of every young man to avoid 
both these extremes, as a like violation of thai 
good taste and that self-respect which they should 
ever cultivate. 

Slovenliness in apparel, is exceedingly unbecom- 
ing to all, but highly so to youth. It plainly 
evinces a lack of energy, of spirit, of taste, and of 
a proper pride of appearing decently. There is 
nothing that more plainly indicates slothfulness 
and a want of bodily and mental vigor, than care- 
lessness in respect to apparel. A young man of 
this appearance will be viewed as of little worth 
or promise. There is, however, a wide distinc- 
tion between appearing in a slovenly manner, and 



182 DRESS. 

appearing in garments of a coarse texture, or that 
have been injured by use. A man may be array- 
ed in clothes of the finest quahty, and of the most 
costly value, and yet from the careless manner in 
which he assumes them, and the filth he allows to 
collect upon them, may appear slovenly and unbe- 
coming. While he whose garments are poor or 
threadbare, may appear even genteel, by the care 
and neatness he displays in their appearance. It 
is not to be supposed that people of diiferent oc- 
cupations can dress in the same manner, or appear 
with the same neatness. Some employments are 
of that nature that the garments, despite the ut- 
most care, soon become soiled ; but even in such 
occupations, you can easily distinguish between 
the slovenly and the tidy. There is no employ- 
»aent in which there can not be a certain degree of 
taste and care displayed In the dress. I would 
not have the mechanic or the farmer, engage in 
his business, starched and ruffled — this woiald be 
out of taste and propriety ; but each, of every 
ealling, should have garments corresponding to 
the peculiarities of their employment. And it 
would be an e^ual destitution of propriety, to ap- 
pear in company, or in the house of worship, with 
clothes soiled and defaced by ordinary occupa- 
tions, if you can consistently part with the means 
to procure those that are more suitable. Allow 
a s^nse of propriety to dictate in regard to these 
things, and you will hardly fail of acting properly. 



DftfeSi. 183 

Equally to be avoided is the (other extreme of 
foppery. Thi^ is a passion, an inordinate love for 
dfess. The head of the fop seems to be filled 
with little else thaii fashions, colors, and figures. 
But of all failings, this rage for dress is one of the 
most simple and unmanly. That little children 
should be pleased With bright colors, and pretty 
figures, and ghstening spangles, is not- a matter 
of astonishment. But that those who have grown 
to the stature of men, and who have the appear- 
ance of men, should still continue children, and 
allow theit- minds to be engrossed by the frivoli- 
ties of mfancy, is truly surprising, and much to be 
regretted. It is otie of the most unerring indica- 
tidUs of a weak intellect, narrow capacity, atid a 
mind bai-ren of every valuable qualification. — 
Whenever ybu behold a man running nearly crazy 
after the extremes of fashion, and arraying himiself 
with all the frippery of a doll, you mayj without 
hesitation, set him down as one who has little 
claim to manhood except his form. And, indeed, 
he seems to view himself in a similar light — he 
appears to found all his pretensions to manhood 
and respectability, on the adornment of the out- 
ward person ; on the cut and texture of his 
clothes — at the same time allowing the mind to 
be choked with the Weeds of ighofanee, ot ovet- 
ruti with the brambles of pride, vanity^ and haughtf 
selfishness. 

Young men^ never aspire to the name of a fop. 



184 DRESS. 

Let all that is manly and noble in your minds, 
arise in utter detestation of such a character. He 
is an object of the ridicule even of children of or- 
dinary minds. Never permit yourselves to believe 
that your rank in community, will depend upon 
your dress — or that your worth will be estimated 
by the cost, quality, or fashion of your garments. 
The fop may weigh you in this balance, and from 
these things decide upon your value in his sight. 
But, believe me, people of discernment — the great 
mass of the thinking in society — will judge of 
your merits on different grounds. They look be- 
yond the productions of the sheep and the silk- 
worm — their opinions are not colored by logwood 
and indigo — their views are not shaped by the tai- 
lor's shears ! They penetrate beneath these out- 
ward embellishments, and look at the moral and 
intellectual worth of the individual. They fully 
coincide in opinion with the poet, that 

" Worth makes the man, and want of it, the fellow— 
The rest is all but leather or prunella." 

Dress is a poor criterion by which to judge of 
the worth of a man. Who does not know that 
the simpleton can dress in the same manner as the 
wise man — and the knave as the honest and virtu- 
ous ? And if dress is the only rule of judgment, 
how can the one be distinguished from the other? 
You are not so weak as to suppose, that by your 
dress, you can deceive those who are acquainted 
with your character. If you are known to be vi- 



DRESS. 185 

cious and depraved, you may array yourself in the 
most costly and fashionable apparel, and yet you 
can not cover your wickedness. When an ac* 
quaintance meets you, his judgment is not in the 
least blinded, nor his memory blunted, by your 
dress— he immediately exclaims, mentally, "there 
goes the young man who spends all his income in 
revelry and dissipation — there goes the intempe- 
rate and licentious young man, or the gamester, 
or the thief!" Of what avail are your fine gar- 
ments in such cases ? But when your character 
is good — when community are aware that you are 
industrious, temperate and virtuous — plain and 
neat garments will not lessen their estimation of 
your worth, but will rather have a tendency to in- 
crease it. 

" It is an indication of a youth void of under- 
standing, to be wholly occupied about the deco- 
ration of his person, and the display of external 
pomp and accomplishments. There is an atten- 
tion to the decencies of dress, which is conducive 
to the well-being of society. But there are many 
with whom the adorning of their persons, is the 
principal source of self-satisfaction, and the chief 
business of life. Man is an intelligent being. 
He has glorious faculties to exercise. What 
can more strikingly indicate a want of that wis- 
dom by which such a being should be distinguish- 
ed, than to have his faculties absorbed and his 
ambition satisfied, with the transient varieties of 



1B6 D3RL£SS. 

external attii-e ? Besides, how contemptible k the 
distinction which is merely superficial. The bee 
that gathers treasures from every flower, has not 
the finest coating. The eagle, that soars on ma- 
jestic wings, to the birth of the morning, has not 
the most glittering plumage. It is the butterfly, 
that idly flutters on the passing breeze, which the 
fopling emulates. The care of the body is more 
with him, than the care of the mind. With use- 
fulness and virtue, with knowledge and reason to 
engage him, behold him the slave of a color, or a 
fashion, placing his glory in that in which inferior 
minds may often vie with him, and flowers attd 
plants excel him. Such a young man, whom 
dress alone occupies and delights, will be claimed 
by folly as her legitimate child. Wisdom rejects 
him. Intelligence sighs over him, as a young 
man void of undeistanding."* 

The more gaily and fashionably I am dressed, 
says the young man, the more readily am I smil- 
ed upon by the ladies. This remark, as a gene- 
ral rule, is unfounded, although it may be true in 
some instances. But of what value can that young 
lady be, or of what worth her esteem, who judges 
of the character of her company solely by their 
dress? Suppose you could obtain such a young 
lady for a companion, would she be a prize worth 
the seeking ? I am confident that the great ma- 
jority of young ladies, prefer plainness and neat- 

* Bishop Dehon. 



DRESS. 187 

ness in the dress of their male associates, to the 
extremes of the frivolous fop. Says a modern 
writer, " take this as a secret worth half a fortune 
to you, that women, however vain they may be 
themselves, despise vanity in men /" 

Let neatness and economy be your study in 
dress. You should not be so far behind the fash- 
ion as to be odd, nor one of those who are the 
most forward in seeking and adopting its changes ; 
but should conform to the general style of those 
of your age and rank, in the community where 
you reside. It was a remark of Dr. Franklin, 
that "our own eyes, at most, only cost us a pair 
of spectacles ; but other people's eyes cost us all 
our gay dresses and splendid carriages." This 
is true in respect to the great majority of the 
world. But the wise and the independent youth 
should dress to please his own eyes, and to suit 
his own taste, rather than with an absorbing and 
slavish desire to please the extravagant fancies of 
others. In the former case, he would act as be- 
cometh an intelligent and free man — in the latter, 
as one in a degrading bondage. 

Your great inquiry should not be, how many 
new suits can I obtain in a year ? but it should 
rather be, how long, by proper care, can I pre- 
serve my old suit, and cause it to appear neat and 
respectable ? Prudence, economy, and good taste 
call upon you to avoid in dress, both slovenliness 
and carelessness on the one hand, and extrava- 
gance and folly on the other. 



CHAPTER VII. 

GENERAL DEMEANOR. 

The Standing which young men will occupy in 
society, and their future success in life, depend 
much upon the demeanor which they exhibit to 
the world. To understand the manners and con- 
duct of a gentleman, and to practice them, is one 
good step toward permanent respectability. By 
this I do not mean an aping of the frivolous words, 
and phrases, and actions, of certain fashionable 
ones, who would give the cue to public manners, 
and decide upon gentility ; but an acquaintance 
and familiarity with those principles of propriety 
and suavity, which ever characterize the conduct 
of a true gentleman. To obtain the esteem and 
good-Avill of your fellow-beings, one important 
means is, to treat them in a gentle, agreeable and 
respectful manner, as far as their situation and 
merits will allow, and to conduct with propriety 
in their presence. A few observations, therefore, 
on general demeanor, can rjot be inappropriate. 

Gentility, in the true acceptation of that word, 
is of great importance to young men. True gen- 
tility is not that which exhibits itself only in a 



GENERAL DEMEANOR. 189 

bow, a simper, or the formal expression of a com- 
pliment ; but it is that kindness in the heart and 
that sense of propriety, which enables you to 
make yourself agreeable, and to conduct with de- 
corum, in whatever company you may mingle. 
Too little attention is paid to gentility by many, 
who, it would seem, should not be deficient there- 
in. In the city of New- York, many of the peo- 
ple are in the habit of inviting to their dwellings, 
the ministers who assemble every Spring to attend 
the anniversaries of the great religious societies, 
which concentrate in that city. But these hospi- 
table entertainers often found, much to their sur- 
prise and regret, that the manners of many of their 
clerical guests, were not strictly genteel. Furni- 
ture and carpets ruined by a coating of mud, a 
plentiful sprinkling of the expectoration of the 
pipe, and of the juice of tobacco, and the relics of 
half masticated quids, were the return which too 
many received for their kindness. The evil even- 
tually became so oppressive, that a few years 
since, on the approach of one of these anniversa- 
ries, precautionary notices were inserted in the 
public prints of New-York, calling upon the cler- 
gymen who might attend, to avoid repeating these 
instances of ill breeding ! Surely it would be 
supposed, that the good sense of these gentlemen 
would have screened them from these improprie- 
ties. What can be more impolite than to stride 
into a well-furnished apartment, with the feet 



190 GENERAL DEMEANOR. 

loaded with mud, and in this condition sit down 
and extend them upon a chair or a sofa ? How 
destitute of common decency, to fill the apartment, 
when others are present, with the suffocating 
fumes of tobacco, or defile the mouth with that 
loathsome weed, which would nauseate the sto- 
mach of the swine, and scatter the filthy saliva 
upon the carpets, the furniture, the jams of the 
fire-place, and even upon the dresses of the com- 
pany ! Every young man who would be considered 
as possessing good manners, should avoid these 
and all like practices. They indicate a total ig- 
norance, or an entire disregard, of the dictates of 
common propriety. 

A swaggering, braggadocia air and manner, is 
very rude and ungenteel. Some young men 
seem to imagine that this is the proper way to ap- 
pear of consequence in the eyes of others. But 
herein they greatly mistake. High swelling 
words, and haughty, bombastic airs, instead of 
creating respect, invariably excite the ridicule 
and contempt of the discriminating. People who 
examine and try such bubbles, generally discover 
beneath this outward bravado air, an empty mind, 
and a cowardly yet cruel heart. If you endeavor 
to sivell yourself into consequence, your fate, 
without doubt, will be that of the frog in the fa- 
ble, which essayed to expand to the size of the ox., 
" If," says Quarles, " thou desirest to be truly 
valiant, fear to do any injury ; he that fears not 



GENERAIi DEMEANOR. IQl 

to do evil, is always afraid to suffer evil : he that 
oever fears is desperate, and he that always fears 
is a coward. He is truly valiant who dares noth- 
ing but what he may, and fears nothing but what 
he ought." In company, your carriage should 
be distinguished neither by swagger upon the one 
hand, nor extreme bashfulness on the other. You 
should occupy the medium ground of these ex- 
tremes — you should be calm, self-possessed, com- 
placent, and agreeable, as far as possible — prepared 
to receive or give those attentions that are called 
for by circumstances. 

Politeness to ladies, should never be forgotten 
or neglected on any occasion, or in any circum- 
stances. To illustrate, I will mention an occur- 
rence which lately took place, to the knowledge 
of the writer. In the early part of the Fall of 
1836, a few ladies residing in the lower part of the 
city of New-York, accompanied by some female 
friends visiting the city, were caught late in the 
afternoon, by a severe shower, while walking in 
the suburbs of the town. While in this condition, 
far from their residence, exposed to the rain, 
which was falling in torrents, a train of cars ap- 
proached on the rail-road from Harlgem, filled 
with men inside, but with abundance of room on 
the outer seats. The ladies hailed the driver of 
the horses, and requested a passage into town. 
But before he could reply, they were answered by 
a general and vociferous — "No — no — drive on— »■ 



192 GENERAL DEMEANOR. 

drive on !" from the gentlemen within — and on 
they went, leaving the ladies to their fate ! Figure 
to yourself the condition of the parties, and then 
ask yourself whether there was a genuine gentle- 
man within those cars ? There could not have 
been one, or he would have raised his voice in be- 
half of females in this unpleasant condition. Let 
these circumstances be remembered, as an in- 
stance where great impoliteness was displayed. 

Politeness demands that a gentleman should 
incommode himself to confer a favor upon a lady, 
or an aged or weakly person. In company, there- 
fore, or in any assemblage, never continue sitting, 
while females or the aged are standing unprovided 
with seats. In stage-coaches, or other conditions 
where females are compelled to bear you compa- 
ny, avoid all vulgar or immodest language, all in- 
delicate allusions — they would be both impolite 
and ungenerous. A female correspondent, in 
writing to the Editor of the Spectator, (No. 242,) 
says — " I had the fate of meeting with a rude fel- 
low in a stage-coach, who entertained two or 
three women of us (for there was no man besides 
himself) with language as indecent as ever was 
heard upon the water. The impertinent obser- 
vations which the coxcomb made upon our shame 
and confusion, were such that it is an unspeaka- 
ble grief to reflect upon them. It would cer- 
tainly be worth your consideration to look mto 
the frequent misfortunes of this kind, to which 



GENERAL DEMEANOR. 193 

the modest and innocent are exposed by the licen- 
tious behaviour of such as are as much strangers 
to good breeding as to virtue. Could we avoid 
hearing what we do not approve, as easily as we 
can seeing what is disagreeable, there were some 
consolation ; but since in a box at a play, in an 
assembly of ladies, or even in a pew at church, it 
is in the power of a gross coxcomb to utter what 
a woman can not avoid hearing, how miserable is 
her condition who comes within the power of 
such impertinents ? and how necessary is it to re- 
peat invectives against such a behavior ? If the 
licentious had not utterly forgotten what it is to be 
modest, they would know that offended modesty 
labors under one of the greatest sufferings to 
which human life can be exposed. If one of these 
brutes could reflect thus much, chough they want 
shame, they would be moved by their pity, to ab- 
hor an impudent behavior in the presence of the 
chaste and innocent." In circumstances like 
these, where people of both sexes are casually 
brought into each other's company, the gentle- 
man can readily be distinguished from the ill-bred 
and unmannerly, by his respectful attentions and 
deference to the ladies. 

An affable and sociable disposition, is another 

important component of the general demeanor. 

A sour, morose disposition — a stoical indifference 

exhibited towards those in your presence — are the 

most certain means of becoming disliked and ne- 

13 



194 



eENERAL DEMEANOR. 



glected in turn. He who displays great hauteur in 
his conduct — who refrains from conversation, ex* 
cept with a select few — who answers a remark ad- 
dressed to him, only by a cold and formal inclina- 
tion of the body, or by a monosyllable — will soon 
be left to his solitary grandeur, to amuse himself by 
his own communings. He will be avoided as an 
ice-berg, that freezes up the flow of social feeling. 
A disposition of this character is to be avoided. 

To be condescending and social in your inter- 
course with society, is an effectual method of ob- 
taining general good will. Politicians understand 
this principle of human nature. Hence it is not 
uncommon, upon the approach of an election, to 
behold candidates for office, who had before been 
distant and very reserved in their intercourse with 
the common people, become suddenly exceeding- 
ly affable and social. None are so poor or so 
rough, but they can be spoken to, and shaken 
heartily by the hand, their families inquired after, 
and an interest manifested in all their affairs ! 
And, it is to be feared, that too often, by these 
means, the aspirant accomplishes his purposes. 
Now the disposition which, in such instances, are 
hypocritically exhibited, I would have you always 
cherish in your heart and manifest in your con- 
duct. The man who is good enough for you to 
shake hands with, and converse sociably with, 
previous to an election, is worthy of the same at- 
tentions afterwards. Banish all haughtiness— be 



GENERAL DEMEANOR. 195 

condescending, and aflfable, and socialr— bestow 
proper notice and attention upon all with whom 
you mingle, and you can not well fail to occupy a 
good standing in their estimation. 

Kindness is another characteristic of the gene- 
ral demeanor, which should be cultivated. There 
is no trait in human nature more lovely and cap- 
tivating, or more highly calculated to win regard 
and esteem, than a kind disposition. To be 
obliging and accommodating, as far as lies in your 
power, to your neighbors and those with whom 
you have intercourse, will obtain their friendship 
and affection — and not only so, but will secure 
their assistance when you stand in need of it. It 
is related by a certain writer, that " two neigh- 
bors, one blind and the other lame, were called to 
a place at a great distance. What was to be 
done ? The blind man could' not see, and the 
lame man could not walk ! Why, the blind man 
carried the lame one : the former assisting by his 
legs, and the other by his eyes." Here was a re- 
ciprocity of good offices, mutually beneficial. In 
the " Hotel des Invalids," of Paris, an asylum for 
the wreck of the Imperial armies of France, it is 
said that an old blind soldier is often seen holding 
a book for a companion who has lost his arms, 
who reads aloud for the edification of both. By 
this mutual kindness, the misfortunes of both are, 
to a great extent, remedied. '* Mankind are so 



196 GfElSffiRAL DEMEANOiti 

much indebted to each other," says Duclos, " that 
they owe mutual attention." 

However prosperous may be our present con- 
dition, we are all subject to misfortune, and may, 
ere long, stand in need of the assistance of others. 
And in this condition, who the most readily and 
promptly receives the aid of his fellow-citizens ; 
the man whose former life has been characterized 
by a niggardly, uncharitable disposition — whose 
ear had always been deaf, and his hand closed to 
the supplications of distress — or he who has been 
generous, open-hearted, kind, and benevolent ? 
This inquiry is immediately answered in yoiir 
minds. In community, the man of shining talents 
is admired — he who is upright and honest, is res- 
pected — but the kind, obliging neighbor is loved ! 
He is surrounded by a host of friends, without 
having an enemy. 

The power of kindness in overcoming opposi- 
tion, and in subduing enemies, is immense. It is 
related that a father, who had a stubborn and re- 
fractory son, resorted to every severe measure in 
his power to reform him, but v/ithout avail._ In 
vain he again and again applied the rod — the only 
perceptible effect was to harden him in his wilful- 
ness. At length the father became discouraged — 
in his despair the rod dropped from his hand — he 
burst into a flood of tears, and bewailed the stub- 
born sinfulness of his child. Instantly the heart 
of the son was nierced as with a dart of fire — with 



• GENERAL DEMEANOR. 197 

quivering lips and streaming eyes, he exclaimed, 
«* Whip me, father! do whip me as much as you 
will; but don't cry !" Behold the power of kind- 
ness. The boy who could look with unflinching 
nerve upon the uplifted rod, was subdued into 
submission in a moment, by a gush of tender af- 
fection ! Hence we perceive the wisdom and phi- 
losophy of the Saviour's commandment : " Love 
your enemies." Instead of retaliating upon your 
enemies, and endeavoring in all ways to injure 
them, which would cause their hatred to burn 
still more fiercely, love them — exhibit toward 
them no emotions but those of kindness and good 
will. A perseverance in this course, wiU most 
certainly destroy their enmity, overcome their 
opposition, and gain their friendship. It is upon 
these sound principles that the public ambassador 
of the Gospel of the Redeemer, who has an en* 
lightened view of his duties, and who appreciates 
the true spirit and intent of the Gospel, depends, 
in turning the sinner from the error of his way. 
He displays the love of God — the impartial and 
boundless beneficence and kindness which exists 
m his bosom towards all his creatures— and de- 
pends far more upon the influences of this display 
of goodness in arresting the trangressor in his 
course, and reforming his disposition, than upon 
the threatenings of the law. The massive ice 
presents a stubborn resistance to the assaults of 
man to remove it : but under the influence of the 



198 GENERAL DEMEANOR. 

genial warmth of the fays of the sun, it freely and 
gently melts and disappears. It is said of the 
celebrated Bishop Cranmer, that whoever did him 
an injury, was almost sure of receiving some fa- 
vor from him. There was true philosophy in 
this course. 

*' Nature has given man a full suit of armor 
against his foes — an armor easy to be worn, and 
ready at hand. It is the panoply of kindness. 
This is a sure protection against rage and violence, 
and revenge. It not only defends him who wears 
it, but subdues his adversaries. Physical force 
may be resisted — cunning may be met with cun- 
ning — but there is no withstanding the power of 
kindness. He who keeps this armor bright by 
use, need not fear the threats, or the fury, or the 
malice of others. He would not be more safe 
were he enclosed in walls of brass. The ill-will 
of an enemy can not be torn away by the tempest 
of violence ; but it can be melted by the bright 
beams of kindness. ' If thine enemy' hunger, 
feed him ; if he thirst, give him drink : for in 
so doing, thou shalt heap coals of fire on his 
head.' "* 

Good humor, is a disposition which young men 
should endeavor to infuse into their general de- 
meanor. He who is sour, ill-natured, and petu- 
lent, is a pest to himself, his friends, if he has 

* Counsels to the Young, 



GENERAL DEMEANOR. 3.99 

any, and all with whom he mingles. He is liable 
to gain the dislike of all, and his company is 
avoided, as a kind of fire-brand, calculated to set 
into a blaze every thing around him. But by 
cultivating a spirit of good humor— which is easy 
to be pleased, overlooks trifling vexations, and in- 
fuses upon the countenance a complacent smile, 
instead of a dark frown — you will have a source 
of self-satisfaction, your presence will be agreea- 
ble, and your company will be sought after. It 
should be your endeavor to avoid all outbreakings 
of anger and rage. Anger is much like a maga- 
zine of powder — ^if permitted to ignite and ex- 
plode, it will most surely blow to atoms your own 
happiness, for the time being, and also be very 
liable to injure that of the persons near you. 
During paroxysms of anger, words are uttered and 
actions performed, often of the most ridiculous 
and reprehensible character, and of which you 
will afterwards become most heartily ashamed. 
The advice given by Athenodorus the philosopher, 
to Augustus Cesar, is of great value : " Remem- 
ber, Cesar, whenever you are angry, that you 
neither say nor do any thing, before you have re- 
peated to yourself the twenty-four letters of the 
alphabet." This admirable rule, or something of 
a like character, should be adopted by every young 
man, as a kind of safety-valve, that will permit the 
first rush of angry feelings to pass off, before they 
induce any improper action. 



200 GENERAL DEMEANOR. 

I cannot refrain from again urging young men 
to frequent the company of virtuous females. It 
will impart gracefulness, urbanity, and polish to 
their general demeanor — a purity, modesty, and 
propriety to their conversation and manners — 
which they can not obtain elsewhere. No man, 
except he possesses feelings of a brutish nature, 
can fail to become more exalted and refined, by 
often mingling in female company, where modesty « 
and enlightened virtue prevails. 

In conclusion, remember that " gentility is 
neither in birth, fortune, manner, nor fashion, but ■ 
in mind! A high sense of honor — a determina- ' 
tion never to take a mean advantage of another — | 
an adherence to truth, delicacy, and politeness, 
towards those with whom you mingle, or may 
have dealings — are the essential and distinguish- j 
mg characteristics of a gentleman." j 



CHAPTER VIII. 

CULTIVATING THE MIND. 

That there is a striking distinction between the 
capabilities of mankind and those of animals, is a 
self-evident truth. The cause of this vast dispa- 
rity, consists in the endowments bestowed by the 
creative Hand, for the guidance of the different 
races. Instinct is the highest capacity possessed 
by the brutes. Through its influences, they are 
enabled to obtain food for the sustenance of the 
body, and also to take measures to secure them- 
selves from threatening danger. These being the 
only wants of the animal races, the powers of in- 
stinct are amply sufficient to afford every needed 
supply ; and the Creator has thus granted them 
all they can ask in consistency with their nature 
and scale of being. But man has been endowed 
with the higher and more diversified powers of 
Mind. These crown him lord of this world — 
these form the grand, and indeed, the only dis- 
tinction between him and the brute world — these 
enable him not only to supply all the wants of his 
body, but also to rule over the animal creation, 
and convert them to his purposes. 



202 CULTIVATING THE MIND. 

The human mind, who can describe ? — who can 
fathom its capabilities? — who can measure its 
mighty powers ? — who can mark the limit of its 
upward flight toward infinite Perfection ? Won- 
derful faculties ! which annihilate time, and ena- 
ble us to live in a moment, as it were, through a 
thousand ages of the recorded Past, or of the 
imagined Future ! Inscrutable powers ! which 
enable us to overleap space, and in an instant, to 
traverse the earth from pole to pole, and from me- 
ridian to run the vast circle to meridian ! — -which 
enable us to soar aloft to the bright stars of hea- 
ven, and to stray from planet to planet, and from 
system to system, throughout the azure fields of 
ether ! Incomprehensible mind ! guided by faith, 
on swift expanded wing, it can urge its flight up, 
far, far up, through illimitable extent, and boAV in 
gratitude and love before the very throne of om- 
nipotent Goodness ! 

What has not been accomplished by the hu- 
man mmd ? It has not only sought out means by 
which every luxury has been procured for the 
body — it has not only improved and expanded its 
own powers, and elevated the human race from 
ignorance and barbarity, to civilization and the 
possession of an immensity of knowledge — but it 
has made the elements its servants ; it has pene- 
trated deep into the properties and operations of 
nature's laws, and ascertained to no inconsiderable 
extent, the perfect principles upon which the 



CULTIVATING THE MIND. 203 

Mighty One upholds and directs the works of his 
hand ! Yet, aniid all its deep researches, amid 
all its surprizing discoveries, the mind has not yet 
fathomed its own wonderful capabilities; it can 
not yet even conceive of the unmeasured extent, 
the vast height and depth, the length and breadth, 
verging to infinity, of the knowledge its far-reach- 
ing powers are capable of grasping ! Truly has 
man been created in the image of his God — truly 
is his intellect a transcript, an emanation, of the 
Infinite Mind 1 

Young men, should the pov^rers of that heavenly 
mind with which you have been endowed, be over- 
looked, neglected, forgotten ? With the invaluable 
cluster of mental faculties which you possess, and 
which only need exercise, to gush forth in streams 
of pure, high, holy enjoyment, will you pass them 
by, as unworthy your attention, and join with the 
brute, in a career of low, bodily gratification ? 
Every manly and ennobling impulse withm you, 
cries out against such a dishonorable course ! 

There is not only a wide distinction between the 
powers of instinct and of mind, but also in their 
natures. In instinct there is no perceptible im- 
provement. All its powers are imparted at once. 
The bird builds its nest, the bee seeks its deli- 
cious nectar, the beaver constructs its hut and its 
dam, with the same unerring precision on the first 
eflbrt, as after years of practice. Neither is there 
any improvement in their races. The bird, the 



204 CULTIVATING THE MIND. 

bee, the beaver, indeed all animals, perform 
their various avocations with no more perfection 
now, than when they came forth from the ark of 
Noah. Instinct, it is true, is susceptible of a very 
limited improvement in some animals, when aided 
by man's reason. But it does not possess within 
itselfj the least power of improvement. But the 
mind of man is constituted on principles entirely 
different Of all living beings, none, probably, 
are more ignorant and helpless, than the new-born 
infant. The barking whelp of the same age, 
evinces much more knowledge, than the feeble 
offspring of man, a few days or weeks old. But 
in that cradled nursling, slumber the faculties and 
energies of a mighty mind, which, under proper 
cultivation, can be improved to an extent now 
incomprehensible ! Thus instinct exercises its 
power without cultivation ; but man must improve 
and exercise his mental faculties, before he can 
enjoy the high advantages they are capable of be- 
stowing. 

The Creator has seen proper so to constitute 
the human mind, that it much resembles the rich 
soil of a garden. When destitute of cultivation, 
it will be overgrown by the weeds and briars of 
ignorance — useless in themselves, and the source 
of great evil — with here and there, perhaps, a 
sickly plant of knowledge, struggling for existence, 
amid choking thorns and thistles. And the more 
powerful the natural capabiUties of minds in such 



CULTIVATING THE MIND. 205 

State, the greater the evils flowing from a want of 
culture, as the richest soil shoots up the rankest 
weeds. To be duly benefitted by the elevated 
capabilities with which the Creator has endowed 
man, the soil of the mind must be properly tilled ; 
the weeds and brambles must be exterminated^ 
ro©t and branch. And not only so, but the seeds 
of knowledge must be sown — the tender plants, 
as they sprmg up, must be nursed, and watered, 
and warmed into a vigorous growth, by instruction 
and reflection, and all the numerous aids that 
abound. In this manner the tree of knowledge 
will grow and enlarge ; its branches will expand, 
and, ere long, be clothed with beautiful blossoms; 
and in due time, a rich and precious harvest of 
invaluable wisdom, will be the reward of these 
labors. 

The mind will not remain dormant and idle. 
If its energies and capabilities are not summoned 
to the acquisition of useful knowledge, they will 
submit to the dictation of ignorance and supersti- 
tion, and under their control, will become loaded 
with those dark and erroneous conceptions, which 
are the fruitful source of unspeakable evil. If 
the intellectual capacities are not sufficiently cul- 
tivated and enlightened to be your master, to con- 
trol and direct you, they will become powerful 
assistants to evil propensities — if they are not led 
to the aid of virtue and truth, they will volunteer 
in the service of sin and error ; they will marshal 



206 CULTIVATING THE MIND. 

the passions in battle array, and lead them on to 
the attack of every thing virtuous and commenda- 
ble, and to the destruction of every pure, rational, 
and proper source of enjoyment. 

It is a law of our nature, both bodily and men- 
tal, as now constituted, that no good can be ob- 
tained, no real benefit secured, no proper enjoy- 
ment experienced, without a corresponding exer- 
tion to procure it. Hence, if you make no effort 
to cultivate the mind and improve your faculties, 
you will remain in ignorance, and be compelled 
to experience all the manifold evils that flow from 
ignorance. But to secure all the advantages and 
all the enjoyments of an enlightened intellect, you 
must summon industry and perseverance to your 
aid, and properly cultivate the powers God has 
given you. 

Are there not, then, young men, inducements . 
abounding, sufficient to urge you to a proper cul- 
tivation of the mind? Let me direct your atten- 
tion to a few further considerations. A mind 
properly cultivated, becomes the source of much 
unalloyed enjoyment. The bacchanalian over 
his cups — the debauchee in his revels — the un- 
principled in their career of crime — sometimes 
experience fleeting sensations, which they deno- 
minate enjoyment. But these, at best, are but 
moments of fitful excitement, that can not proper- 
ly be dignified by the name of happiness. They 
are, in reality, evils disguised in those alluring 



CULTIVATING THE MIND. 307 

robes which decoy their dupes to certain wretch- 
edness — and miUions of miserable victims, can 
testify from experience, that at last, they " bite 
like a serpent, and sting like an adder." These 
delusive excitements are truly represented by the 
book of the Revelator, which was sweet in the 
mouth, but bitter, bitter, in the stomach ! Why 
should rational beings seek those misnamed plea- 
sures, that are invatiably followed by more than 
an equal amount of pain and wretchedness ? espe^ 
cially, when there are numerous sources of hap- 
piness within their reach, without any of this 
alloy ! 

The enjoyments springing from a well culti- 
vated mind, are exalted and exquisite in nature, 
without any intermixture of succeeding unhappi- 
ness. They flow from fountains entirely discon- 
nected from, and elevated above, the passions, and 
are not, therefore, subject to their fluctuations. 
Compare the pleasures pf the student with those 
of the profligate. The student goes on in acqui- 
sition, from truth to truth, obtaining clearer and 
brighter views of the wonderful laws of science 
and of nature, and the amazing displays of infi 
nite wisdom which abound. He perceives every 
where, the utmost knowledge and perfection at 
work, adapting means to produce wise and bene- 
volent ends. He obtains an understanding of the 
curioiiis in art, and the wonderful in philosophy. 
And as his mind expands and his wisdom increases, 



208 CULTIVATING THE MIND. 



in these researches, a pure stream of enjoyment 
pours into his heart, with an influence sweet as 
the dews of Hermon. These pleasures are unal- 
loyed — they never satiate the appetite — they cause 
no disease, pain, or decrepitude — but they in- 
crease in delight as they increase in abundance I 
But not so with the profligate. The more he in- 
dulges in what he calls his pleasures, the deeper 
he sinks in corruption and degradation — the of- 
tener he gives way to his unbridled passions, the 
less power do they possess of bestowing enjoy- 
ment, the greater is the pain they induce, and the 
more entirely does he become their slave — until 
every sense is palled, every taste is blunted, every 
source of rational gratification is destroyed ; and 
he goes downward to the grave, a miserable, de- 
crepid, idiotic caricature of humanity ! 

A cultivated mind, is one of the most important 
requisites in obtaining a respectable standing in 
society. The least degree of discrimination will 
satisfy you of the truth of this assertion. Who 
are respected in community ? — who move in the 
highest circles ? — who are selected to fill stations 
of trust, of responsibility, and honor ? Your own 
experience will testify that they are men of culti- 
vated minds. In this land of republican equality, 
there are no privileged orders, no feudal system, 
to foist men into stations for which they are un- 
fitted. But he who would rise to distinction here, 
must depend upon his own resources — must as- 



1 



CULTIVATING THE MIND. 209 

cend on his own merits and capabilities. In this 
land, the truth of the poet's words are fully ex 
emplified — 

''Honor and fame, from no condition rise: 
Act well your part— there all the honor lies." 

And need I say, that to *' act well your part," in 
this enlightened age and country, a cultivated 
mind is indispensable ? Without it, your pros- 
pects of elevation and honor, are dark and unpro- 
mising. You can not reasonably expect to rise 
above the rank you now occupy, without a dili- 
gent application to the enlightenment of the mind. 
A cultivated mind is essential to insure pros- 
perity in any circumstances. There is no proper 
profession, occupaiion, or calling in which men 
engage, Avhere an enlightened mind will not di- 
rectly tend to prosperity. " Knowledge is pow- 
er." He who possesses knowledge, has resources 
at his command to aid in every undertaking, of 
which the ignorant man is wholly deprived. Com- 
pare those who have been successful in life — who 
have arisen from obscurity to fame, from poverty 
to wealth — with those who have always remained 
in obscurity, or have been reduced from wealth to 
poverty, and, as a general rule, you will discover 
that while the former are men who have cultivated 
their minds, the latter are ignorant and unlettered- 

In cultivating the mind, three thmgs are ne- 
cessary to insuie successful progress, viz., appli- 
cation, industry, and perseverance. Whatever 

14 



2i0 CULTIVATING THE MINI?. 

may be your condition in life, by calling these 
to your aid, you can hardly fail of succeeding, to 
the extent of your aspirations. Are yoa wealthy, 
and surrounded by numerous advantages ? Still 
without industrious application, you can make no 
improvement, no progress. A score of tutors 
may attend you without avail, unless you call 
your own energies into activity. They can not 
study for you, or think or learn for you. You 
must do this for yourself, or remain in ignorance ; 
you must severely task the powers of your own 
mind, or continue under all the disadvantages of 1 
a want of cultivation. Are you poor ? — destitute 
of means and advantages ? These circumstances 
should not discourage you. A resolution nobly 
and firmly formed, to triumph over the difficulties - 
that surround you, and sustained by industry and 
perseverance, will make you almost any thing you 
choose to be. A poor stammering boy of ancient 
Greece, resolved to become an orator, although 
to appearance, wholly unfitted to succeed in his 
determination. But for him, application and per- 
severance did every thing. With untiring Indus- * 
try, he cultivated his mind. In the caves of the 
mountains, and beside the boisterous oc&an, he 
trained his powers, until success crowned his ef- 
forts. Even in those days of eloquence, he 
charmed and astonished all Greece, and transmit- 
ted the name of Demosthenes, to the latest gene- 
rations of men. The celebrated Dr. Alexander 



ttrLTlVA'flNG THE MlWD. 51 1 

Murray, was the son of a poor shepherd in Scot- 
land. He learned his alphabet from the board of 
an old wool-card, whereon his father marked the 
letters with the biarnt end of a root taken from th« 
fire. From this humble condition, by an indus- 
trious and unwearied cultivation of the mind, he 
arose to an eminence as a scholar, to which few 
can expect to attain ! Many instances might be 
cited in our own land, where, by application to 
mental culture, men have arisen from obscurity 
to eminence and renown. Thus poverty, a hum- 
ble origin, or disadvantageous circumstances, need 
not be an insurmountable obstacle to the cultiva- 
tion of the mind, or to an elevation in respecta- 
bility and public esteem. 

In cultivating the mind, you should exercise a 
proper command over its powers. There is no 
habit more fatal to rapid improvement, than to 
permit the attention of the mind to be distracted 
by a variety of objects. You should sway suffi- 
cient control over the mental faculties, to concen- 
trate them at wiJl, on any given subject, until you 
have become acquainted with its properties. And 
when your attention is directed to the acquisition 
of any particular branch of knowledge, let it be the 
object of all your energies and labors, until it is 
fully attained, and stored safely in the repository 
of wisdom. 

Paiience is necessary in improving the mind. 
*rhere are many discouraging circumstances at- 



212 CULTIVATING THE MIND. 

tending even the most successful students. Bwt 
patience will enable you to triumph over every 
difficulty. Patience will dig down mountains and 
fill upvalues — it will enable the simple to become 
enlightened, and the enlightened to excel in wis- 
dom. You should not be frightened at perplex- 
ing and knotty points in your studies. Some 
minds are inclined to slide easily around such ob- 
structions, and travel on in ignorance of their 
merits. This is a deleterious practice, and to be 
especially avoided. Look every question fairly 
in the face — attack it manfully and vigorously — 
penetrate thoroughly to its foundations— and all 
its mysteries will soon be unfolded to your com- 
prehension. In this manner you will not only 
secure the knowledge enclosed in the difficult 
point, but will exercise and train the mind into 
increased strength and power. 

A frequent recourse to the instructions of the 
aged, is a valuable and pleasant method of im- 
provement. The aged have for many years been 
collecting Avisdom, both theoretically and practi- 
cally ; and they are happy to impart to the young 
from their fund of information. Much practical 
instruction can, therefore, be gathered from the 
conversation of the aged. But they must be per- 
mitted to proceed in their own way. They will 
relate scenes they have participated in, describe 
sights they have witnessed, experiments they have 
seen tried, and theories that they have beheld 



I 



CULTIVATING THE MIND. 213 

tested. In these narrations, you will hear many 
wise sayings and aphorisms — much useful infor- 
mation, interlarded with adventure and anecdote — 
you will hear relations delineating the workings 
of human passions, evincing the evils of ignorance, 
the wretchedness flowing from error, the folly of 
indulging in sinfulness, the misery and pain which 
it invariably entails upon its votaries, and the wis- 
dom of walking without deviation in the path of 
virtue, probity, and temperance. In thus unload- 
ing their minds to tke young, the aged are capa- 
ble of imparting lessons abounding in the rich in- 
structions of precept and example. 



CHAPTER IX. 

ESTABLISHING FIXED PRINCtrtES. 

In his physiGal creation, the Peity has estab^ 
lished causes which operate with unswerving cer- 
tainty — which invariably pioduce the same effect. 
A certain degree of heat will always burn — and a 
certain amount of cold, as certainly, will always 
freeze. The Creator has also established moral 
laws for the government of the human race, which 
are as sure in their operations, and as undeviating 
in their effects, as his natural laws ; although their 
■ movements and influences are not so evident to the 
eye of the spectator. Fire will no more certainly 
burn, than will a vicious action, sooner or later, 
cause unhappiness to him who is guilty of it. — 
This principle in morals is as immutably fixed, as 
the pillars of Jehovah^s throne. And when this 
important trutli of the certainty of punishment for 
every wilful violation of the moral law of God — 
a truth which runs through the whole extent of 
the Scriptures, and which is testified to by the ex- 
perience of all ages — is believed and settled in the 
heart, there will be no more inducement to com- 
mit a known crime, than to walk into the burning 
flame ! 



ESTABLISHING FIXED PRINCIPIiES. 215 

Young men^ do, yom believe these propositions ? 
do you believe there is adjust and certain punish- 
ment awaiting you, for every deed that is morally 
wrong ? — and a punishment, too, from whieh them 
is no escape ? If you do not— if you imagine that 
immorality of any character, will make you hap- 
py, and that you can escape the evil consequences 
flowing fro«i it — you are truly in a pitiable condi- 
tioni — you are treading a dangerous path — you are 
tinder the sway of a delusion, Avhich, beyond all 
possibility of doubt, will lead you into pain, and 
grief and wretchedness. But if your minds have 
become sufficiently enlightened to adopt the be- 
lief, sanctioned by divine revelation and the whole 
history of our race, that moral guilt of every de- 
scription, is the cause of certain unhappiness and 
degradation, you have adopted a wise opinion ; 
and if faithfully adhered to and practiced, it will 
save you from, the most fruitful sources of earthly 
wretchedness. 

With these reflections ija view, you will perceive 
the necessity of establishing, at the outset of life, 
certain fixed principles of moral conduct, to which 
you will rigidly adhere in all your intercourse with 
the world. These principles will, of course, be 
of a character corresponding t^ the career which 
you desire to ran through life. f£ it is your in- 
clination and ambition to mingle with the vicious 
and depraved — to become a miserable, degraded, 
despised outcast-— a bloated^ deformed, diseased 



216 ESTABLISHING FIXED PRINCIPLES. 

libel upon the form and name of man — a movilag 
pestilence, a stench in the nostrils of communi- 
ty — the object of the scorn, and contempt, and 
disgust of the virtuous of your fellow-beings — if 
these are the circumstances to which you aspire, 
you will adopt your principles accordingly ; you 
will determine to be unprincipled, vicious, intem- 
perate, profane, cruel and revengeful — and your 
desired degradation will speedily and unavoidably 
follow. But if, more wisely, you are ambitious 
to obtain the good will of society — to become re- 
spected, loved, honored — to be successful in your 
business undertakings, and tO' receive the aid of 
friends in times of need — if you desire to possess 
that peace of mind, that calm satisfaction and com- 
placency, which form the foundati^on of all true 
happiness— you must adopt principles of a cor- 
responding nature — principles directly the reverse 
of those above enumerated. Remember that a 
good standing in society — a character of respec- 
tability—can never be obtained by an adherence 
to vicious principles. The one is entirely incom- 
patible with the other — is as impossible in. the 
very nature of things, as for the streams of water 
to rush back to their fountains. 

1 repeat, you must choose and adopt the prin- 
ciples by which you would be governed — you must 
establish them in the heart, lay them up in the 
mind, as landmarks for future direction. " When 
an author has stood a thorough examination, and 



ESTABLISHING FIXED PRINCIPLES. 217 

will bear to be taken as a guide, I put him on the 
shelf. When I have fully made up my mind on 
the correctness and value of a principle^ I put it 
on the shelf of the mind. A hundred subtle ob- 
jections may be brought against this principle ; a 
hundred temptations to violate it ; 1 may meet 
with some of them, perhaps ; but my principle is 
on the shelf. Generally I may be able to recall 
the reasons which weighed with me to put it there ; 
but if not, I am not to be sent ouc to sea again. 
Time was when I saw through and detected all 
the subtleties that could be bro-ught against it. I 
have past evidence of having been fully convinced ; 
and there on the shelf it shall be." 

I can not refrain from enumerating two or 
three important moral principles, which every 
wise young man should adopt and adhere to.— - 
Have you formed the resolution to pursue a course 
in life which shall secure the respect, the esteem 
and confidence of community at large ? It is a 
noble, manly resolve ; and of itself is one good 
step towards success in its completion. Let me 
say to you, that — 

Honesty is one of the first and most important 
principles to be adopted, to secure this end. That 
" honesty is the best policy," is a proverb univer- 
sally allowed to be true. Never swerve from the 
teachings of this proverb, even in the most trivial 
degree, on any occasion, however trying- When 
you arc assailed by temptation to defraud another, 



218 ESTABWSHINtt FIXED^ PRINCIPLES^* 

Stop one moment and reflect — call to mind the 
above maxim and reason with yourself: " If hon- 
esty is the hest policy, then dishonesty in any re* 
spect, is bad policy — the worst policy — and, will, 
in one way or another, result ta my final injury." 
The tendency of such reflections, will be to ena- 
ble you to withstand the temptation and preserve 
your integrity. " No one ever did a designed in- 
jury to another, without doing a greater to him- 
self." These are words of truth ; and were they 
engraven 'upon every heart, and made to influence 
evei*y mind, how much iniquity would it prevent! 
A dishonest action will revert upon the head of its 
author, with tenfold vengeance. He who cheats 
another, cheats himself far more deeply than his 
victim. He defrauds his victim of perishable 
wealth ; but he defrauds himself of that which is 
of more value than all the riches of the Indies- 
he defrauds himself of a good name, of the con- 
fidence and respect of his fellow-beings, and of 
that peace of mind, the absence of which, is con- 
tinued torture. A man in business very much 
mistakes his interest, who defrauds his custom- 
ers — who takes a mean advantage of the ignorance 
of those who are so circumstanced as not to know 
the true value of articles. His acts of this na- 
ture, can not long remain concealed — he is soon 
detected ; and community place a mark upon him, 
as dark, and deep, and enduring as that upon the 
brow of Cain. Public confidence being lost, his 



JESTABLiSHlN^ FIXED PRINCIPLES. 219 

business dwindles away, his customers forsake 
him, and when it is too late, he finally perceives 
the imperishable truth of the motto — " honesty is 
the best policy." Concealing or misrepresenting 
the market price of articles — selling goods or any 
property, as perfect, which is unsound, or con- 
cealing the defects of what is disposed of — are all 
dishonest and dishonorable practices, that will re- 
sult vastly more to your injury than your benefit. 
Never be guilty of them, as you value your true 
peace and prosperity. 

Poetry never uttered a more evident truth, than 
that which runs in the following line— 

"An honest man's the noblest work of God." 

The title of an honest man, is more to be coveted 
than any that can be conferred by the favor of roy- 
alty. And when we lie down in the grave, could 
there truly be inscribed upon the slab which marks 
our resting place, the epitaph — " Here rest the re- 
mains of an Honest Man''"'' — ifwould be a memen- 
to far more honorable than the proudly swelling 
cenotaph, or the lofty pyramid. 

Veracity is another principle which should be 
firmly fixed in the mind. A love of truth, and 
an inflexible adherence to its guidance, on all oc- 
casions, is one of the most noble characteristics 
than can adorn humanity. But what is more un- 
manly and contemptible, than the habitual utter- 
ance of falsehoods 1 He who is addicted to this 
dishonorable practice, soon gains a reputation far 



220 ESTABI/ISHING FIXED f RiNCtPliES. 

from enviable or desirable— ^he is ranked in that 
class who are "not to be believed when they 
speak the truth." Avoid this habit as ungentle- 
manly and wicked — as only calculated to bring 
upon you the distrust and disrespect of society. 
While its mark is upon you, no one will confide 
in you or esteem you. Let all your communica- 
tions be characterised by strict truth and integrity. 
A name well established for veracity, will minister 
much to your enjoyments, both in a moral and a 
pecuniary point of view. 

Benevolence should also be established, as"one 
of the leading principles of your character. This 
heavenly characteristic is enjoined by religion, 
morality and the condition of mankind. In every 
community, there are the rich and the poor — the 
prosperous and the unfortunate — those who are 
surrounded by plenty, and those who are pinched 
by want. Should your condition fortunately be 
the former, forget not those who are involved in 
the difficulties of the latter ; but impart to them 
a portion of your means, and your kindness will 
not go unrewarded. 

By benevolence I do not mean the giving alone 
to some mammoth institution, or the support of 
some popular scheme whose field of labor is far 
distant. It is to be feared that improper motives 
induce too many to bestow their means on these 
projects, and that there is more wrong feeling in- 
dulged in thus giving, than in withholding., The 



w 



ESf ABlilSHlJ^G ftXKD PRINCIPLES. 221 

benevolence which I would particularly recom- 
mend, is more of a home character — more of a 
domestic virtue. It is that emotion of pity and 
kindness, by which your ear will be open to the 
petition of distress at your own door, and your 
hand be made ready to relieve the wants of the 
poor in your immediate vicinity ! These should 
be attended to first. If yo^ still possess the 
means, you can then widen the cnxle of your be- 
nevolence. And permit me to say, that even a 
little, given to hush the orphan's wail and dry 
the widow's tears — to cause the smile of plenty 
to pervade the abodes of penury and want — is a 
sacrifice upon the altar of benevolence, the in- 
cense tsf which will arise far higher toward the 
throne of infinite Goodness, than thousands pub- 
licly lavished upon some popular scheme, to ac- 
complish you know not what ! Allow benevo- 
lence to be your pervading characteristic — be the 
friend of the friendless, the protector of the 
weak and defenceless, the patron of the deserv- 
ing poor — and you Avili realise how sweet is the 
truth of the Scripture declaration — " It is more 
blessed to give, than to receive." 



CHAP TEE X. 

STABILITY OF PURPOSE. 

The miads of men differ in no respect more 
sensibly, than in stability of purpose- While 
some are stable and firm, their movements cha- 
racterised by cautiousness and decision, others are 
equally remarkable for lack of foresight and firm- 
ness—incapable of forming a decision from pa- 
tient research and investigation, and unable to 
abide by any decision, however formed, for any 
reasonable length of time. This latter failing is 
very unfortunate. " A man without decision, 
can never be said to belong to himself; since, if 
he dared to assert that he did, the puny force of 
some cause, about as powerful, you would have 
supposed, as a spider, may make a capture of the 
hapless boaster the very next moment, and trium- 
phantly exhibit the futility of the determinations 
by which he was to have proved the independence 
of his understanding and his will. He belongs 
to whatever can seize him ; and innumerable 
things do actually verify their claim on him, and 
arrest him as he tries to go along ; as twigs and 
chips, floating near the edge of a river, are inter- 
cepted by every weed, and whirled in every little 



STABlLlTy OF PURPOSE. 223 

eddy. Having concluded on a design, he may 
pledge himself to accomplish it — if the hundred 
diversities of feeling which may come within the 
week, will let him. As his character precludes 
all foresight of his conduct, he may sit and won- 
der what form and direction his views and actions 
are destined to take to-morrow; as a farmer has 
often to acknowledge the next dc^'s proceedings 
are at the disposal of its winds and clouds."* 

Hov/ often do we discover people of this cha- 
racter — generally denominated "fickle-minded." 
They are seldom satisfied with theii present con* 
dition or employment— —preferring almost any 
other situation to the one they happen to occupy, 
and any other business toi that in which they are 
engaged. Their minds are usually filled with 
some new and wonderful project, or employed in 
unfolding some magnificent discovery, which they 
believe will astonish the world, and bring inex- 
haustible wealth into their possession. Such peo- 
ple are generally industrious — not, however, in 
that steady application to useful business, which 
will in time yield a certain reward — but in build- 
ing stupendous and beautiful " castles m the air," 
which are reared this hour, only to be demolished 
the next ! 

The " fickle-minded" man is not satisfied with 
doing well — he is not willing to " let well alone" — 

* Foster's Essays. 



224 STABILITY OF PURPOSE. 

and his mind is constantly engaged in devising 
schemes to do better ! In entering a new occu- 
pation, he looks at every thing through th« me- 
dium of an ardent imagination. He believes he 
shall realise speedy and abundant wealth from his 
change of employment ; and for a season he is 
industrious and persevering. But at length the 
gildings of the imagmation become effaced by 
sober reality ; and when he discovers the real na- 
ture of his business — its actual advantages and 
disadvantages — it almost invariably falls short of 
his expectations ; and his industry slackens, his 
energy fails — he becomes discouraged, and aban- 
dons his occupation for some new scheme, which 
more than probably, will also flatter him for a 
season, and again end in disappointment. And 
the man " wonders how all the embarrassments in 
the world happen to meet exactly in his way, to 
place him in those situations foT which he is pe- 
culiarly unadapted, and in which he is also wilhng 
to think no other man could have acted with such 
facility or confidence. Incapable of setting up a 
firm purpose on the basis of things as they are, 
he is often employed in vain speculations on some 
different supposable state of things, which would 
have saved him from all this perplexity and irre- 
solution." People who give way to this insta- 
bility, can not prosper to any extent. They are 
constantly liable to be deceived and involved iu 
difficulty. Their sanguine temperament leads 



STABILITF OF PURPOSE* 225 

them to look upon impossibilities as probabilities^ 
and upon probabilities, as i:ertainti€s ! From this 
credulous, inconsistent disposition — this incessant 
inclination to change— this desire, while doing 
well to do much better — how many have been re- 
duced fr^m competency and fair prospects, to 
utter ruin and despair ! 

I have already remarked that the minds of men 
naturally differ very materially in respect to firm- 
ness and stability of purpose. But a deficiency 
in these valuable qualifications, need not be an ir- 
reparable defect. It can, to a good degree, be 
remedied by proper exertion and application. 
When you become sensible that your mind is 
constitutionally inclined to fickleness and insta- 
bility--(and a little candid self-examination will 
enlighten you upon this point) — you should then 
call up all your energies to counteract this ten- 
dency — and it should be your study to strengthen 
these weak properties of the mind, by a constant 
and watchful guard upon its operations. By pro- 
per exertion, the mind can be trained into a good 
degree of firmness and decision, so that its prompt- 
ings may not be changed by every varying wind. 
By obtaining the mastery over your mental powers, 
you may concentrate them upon any given sub- 
ject within your comprehension, and search out 
its foundation, its bearings and influences, and 
ascertain the weight of the claims it has upon 

your attention. 

15 



22^ STABIMTV OF PURPOSE. 

To act safely., requires you to act wisely, cau- 
tiously and firmly. You should ponder well all 
the measures you adopt. Never enter upon any 
important undertaking rashly, at the impulse of 
any fleeting emotion, but be deliberate and reflec- 
tive — examine it in ail its beanngs, and weigh 
well its probable results. You should not forget 
that there are always two sides in the appearance 
of every project — a bright and a dark side. Give 
yourself no labor in examining the bright side— 
for that will usually present itself in colors suf- 
ficiently attractive. But be diligent in thoroughly 
investigating the dark side of the picture. Look 
with an eye of scrutmy, at the worst aspect it can 
assume — endeavor to discover its greatest disad- 
vantages and its most remote liabilities to failure. 
On the one hand, you should not aggravate the 
appearance of difficulties, or conjure up vain and 
unreal obstacles — and neither should you neglect 
to recognize every well-grounded objection, and 
look it fairly in the face. And from all your 
means of information, deliberately form your 
judgment, as to the most proper course to pursue. 
And when you have once engaged in any honora- 
ble occupation, or entered upon any proper branch 
of business, let all instability, and fickleness, and 
doubt, be banished from the mind — call into re- 
quisition all your effective powers — be industrious, 
persevering, economical, and patient — let no new 
visionary scheme charm your attention into ano- 



STABILITY OF PURPOSE. 227 

ihet cliannel — and you will be on the high r©ad 
that leads to prosperity. 

The mania of speculation has been the ruin of 
multitudes in our land. Those who are brought 
under the sway of its delusions, are hence led to 
despise the slower method of their fathers, of 
obtaining wealth by honest industry and perse- 
verance, as tedious and useless ; and it is theif 
constant study to devise some scheme, by which 
they can leap at once into boundless wealth. This 
thirst for speculation, has been the source of im- 
mense evil to our country. And not the least 
among its evils, is, that it leads to the neglect 
of the common, yet most useful avocations 
of life — those branches of productive industry, 
upon which our general welfare depends — and 
begets not only fickleness of mind, but idleness, 
chicanery and corruption. Young men should 
beware of this rage for speculation. Where it 
enriches one, it plunges a thousand into poverty. 
It seems, indeed, to be nothing less than a strife 
among a certain class, to defraud one another, and 
the public at large ; and therefore, the honorable 
and the upright can not with propriety engage in 
its excesses. The only laudable and safe method of 
acquiring wealth, is to engage in some occupa- 
tion that is useful to your fellow-beings ; and if 
you are industrious, prudent, persevering and 
stable-minded, you can not avoid obtaining a 
comfortable livelihood, with the prospect of se- 



228 STABILITY OF PURPOSE. 

curing in due time a sufficient amount of wealth, 
to give you all the enjoyment that can flow from 
riches. 

The old maxim cautions us not to have too 
many irons in the fire, lest some should burn. 
Dr. Clarke imagines this to be a needless cau- 
tion. He says a man can not have too many irons 
in the fire, and that he should thrust in " shovel, 
tongs and poker." But I differ from the Doctor 
in this respect. It is true, there are minds so 
bountifully endowed, possessing so great a variety 
of powers, so much energy, discrimination, and 
elasticity, that they can successfully engage in 
various branches of business at the same time. 
But such minds are more rare than common. 
The generality of mankind will succeed far bet- 
ter by directing all their attention to one branch 
of business, than by distracting it among a va- 
riety. It is wise, therefore, still to adhere to the 
old maxim, and beware of having too many irons 
in the fire. 

Let not the stability of your mind be shaken 
by ill-luck or by misfortunes. " Don't be dis- 
couraged, if in the outset of life, things do not 
go on smoothly. It seldom happens that the 
hopes we cherish of the future are realized. The 
path of life in the prospect, appears smooth and 
level enough ; but when we come to travel it, we 
find it all up hill, and generally rough enough. 
The journey is a laborious one, and whether poor 



STABILITY OF PURPOSE. 229 

or wealthy, high or low, we shall find it to our 
disappointment if we build on another calcula- 
tion. To endure what is to be endured, with as 
much cheerfulness as possible, and to elbow our 
way as easily as we can through the great crowd, 
hoping for little, yet striving for much, is perhaps 
the true plan. But don't be discouraged, if oc- 
casionally you slip down by the way, and your 
neighbors tread over you a little'— in other words, 
don't let a failure or two dishearten you. Acci- 
dents happen — miscalculations will sometimes be 
made — things will turn out differently from our 
expectations, and we may be sufferers. It is 
worth while to remember that fortune is like the 
skies in April, sometimes cloudy, and sometimes 
clear and favorable : and as it would be folly to 
despair of again seeing the sun, because to-day it 
is stormy, so it is unwise to sink into despondency 
when fortune frowns : since, in the common course 
of things, she may surely be expected to smile 
again. Don't be discouraged, under any circum- 
stances. Go steadily forward. Rather consult 
your own conscience, than the opinions of men, 
though the last are not to be disregarded. Be in- 
dustrious ; be frugal ; be honest ; deal in perfect 
kindness with all, exercising a neighborly and 
obhging spirit in your whole intercourse ; and if 
you do not prosper as rapidly as any of your neigh- 
bors, depend upon it, you will be as happy."* 

* Monthly Repository. 



CHAPTER XI. 

POLITICS. 

I deem it not improper, in addressmg yoiing 
men, to make a few observations respecting poli- 
tics. It is well for the stability of our republicaii 
ins^titutions, that the people are divided into par- 
ties. This leads to a strict scrutiny of our public 
functionaries — to the exposition of their faults and 
a commendation of their wisdom and virtue — and 
all this has a tendency to keep them faithful in the 
discharge of their duties. 

There are two prominent evils in regard to poli- 
tics, against which young men should be upon 
their guard. The first, is the changing from pai'ty 
to party, for the purpose of obtaining popular ap- 
plause, or office, or emolument. Such conduct 
betrays an entire destitution of moral principle 
and rectitude. If you adopt these motives as the 
basis of your political bias and proceedings, it is 
quite certain, although you may be successful for 
a season, that your object will eventually be dis- 
covered, your character and influence will be 
lost, and all parties will despise and neglect you. 
A shuffling, time-serving demagogue, a political 
weather-cock, veering in the direction of every 



POLITICS. 231 

wind that blows, without regard to principle, is a 
most despicable character; unworthy the privi- 
leges of a freeman. 

The other evil to which I allude, is upon the 
contrary extreme — a blind and servile adherence 
to party — an infatuation, by which every measure, 
however dangerous, is supported, that is dictated 
by the leaders, the wire-pullers of the party, and 
every principle, however valuable and salutary, 
opposed and contemned, whenever they give the 
signal-T-an infatuation, under the degrading influ- 
ence of which, men abandon their birth-right of 
freedom of opinion, and are willing to see with 
th« eyes, and hear with the ears, and understand 
with the judgment, of those whom they permit 
to lead them. This servility to party tactics, party 
measures and party men, is an evil greatly to be 
deprecated. It is rife with dangers— dangers that 
reach the very vitals of our free institutions.— 
Should the day ever arrive when this degrading 
party servitude becomes general, when it winds its 
enslaving chains around the great mass of the peo- 
ple, the sun of this Republic will wane to the ho- 
rizon, and early set in clouds and darkness. 

In former years, it was the fortune of the writer 
of these chapters, to be engrossed to no incon- 
siderable degree, in the political strifes of the day. 
From the peculiarly favorable opportunities which 
I then enjoyed of judging the designs and motives 
of political leaders, I became fully satisfied, that 



232 FotiTics?. 

the degrading principle af servility to party mea^ 
sures, is designedly diffused through community, 
by interested men for their personal aggrandize- 
ment — and that the strife, and clamor, and bitter 
acrimony that convulses society at the approach 
of important elections, is caused mainly by the 
struggle between the " zw^" and the " outs'^ — be- 
tween those who are in office and wish to keep in, 
and those who are out and desire to get in ! "Were 
it not for the contentions of these two classes, the 
clangor of political battle would be hushed, and 
the people would calmly and peaceably adopt the 
proper measures to continue our institutions in 
their purity, and keep the wheels of government 
in well balanced motion. Young men should 
be aware of these things, that ^hey may "see 
through" the sophistical and bombastic declama- 
tion of political demagogues. " Measures and 
not men," was the motto of the founders of our 
Republic ; and it still remains the popular cry of 
all parties. But it requires only a single glance 
at the proceedings of politicians at the present 
day, to discover that, with too many of them, this 
maxim has become reversed — and their great ob- 
ject is men and not measures I 

It devolves upon the young men who are now 
coming upon the stage of action, to arrest the 
progress of this growing evil, and to diffuse abroad 
a love for political independence and purity. To 
this end, allow me to urge every young man whose 



POLITICS. 233 

^ye rests upon these lines, not to attach himself 
so strongly to any party, that he can not without 
improper bias, exercise that privilege of deciding 
for himself upon the propriety or impropriety of 
principles and measures, which is the invaluable 
legacy bequeathed to us by our fathers ! Avoid all 
party chains and shackles, and all party measures, 
that are not plainly and strictly for the benefit 
of the whole body of the people, all attachments 
to men and names — every thing that can have a 
tendency to blind the judgment or deaden the love 
ior principle. Understand me — I do not object to 
political parties. In a Republic like this, there 
must be parties while men continue to differ hon- 
estly in opinion. But I object to that degrading 
attachment to party, by which the judgment is so 
blinded as to consider the interest of the party 
paramount to all other interests — that dangerous 
infatuation, which says — " the party must be sus- 
tained, at all hazards P'' Let it be your highest 
ambition to be a republican, in the broad and true 
acceptation of that. word — a lover of enlightened 
and well regulated liberty, of equal rights and 
privileges — a supporter of the best interests of 
your country, irrespective of the rise or fall of 
parties or men. When measures are brought to 
your consideration, do not inquire who originated 
them, or by what party are they supported, or what 
men will ihey elevate or overthrow ? — but only 
ask, are the proposed measures called for by ex- 



2H 



POLITICS. 



istiag exigencies — are they consistent with the 
genius of our free institutions — are they compa- 
tible with repubUcan principles — are they calcu- 
lated to enhance the public welfare ? If, after 
strict and candid examination, you can answer 
these inquiries in the affirmative, support the mea- 
sures ; but if not, reject them entirely. And when 
an individual is held up for public station, let not 
the question be, by whom was he nominated— or 
to what party does he belong /—but ask, what are 
his principles, his abilities ? — apply the text of the 
patriot Jefferson — " is he capable, is he honest, is 
he faithful ?" Never give him your support un" 
til you are perfectly satisfied upon these points. 
Let the young men of this Union, free themselves 
from all debasing manacles, from every improper 
bias, and pursue an upright, manly, independent 
course in regard to politics, and the evils that are 
now sapping the foundations of our Republic, will 
become annihilated. And I can not avoid here 
recommending young men to patronize more exr 
tensively, those public prints that are neutral re- 
specting politics — those papers which freely and 
boldly canvass the political questions of the day, 
without becoming attached to any party or any 
set of men. One publication of this character, 
conducted with ability and discrimin-ation, will 
throw more light upon the actual state of the coun- 
try, the true nature of its interests, and the cha- 
racter and tendencies of the current and promi- 



POLITICS. 935 

nent measures of the times, than a score of those 
papers that are wholly devoted to the upbuilding 
of a particular party. Those young men, there- 
fore, who are more deeply interested in the wel- 
fare of the whole country, than in the welfare of 
political parties and individual aspirants, will do 
well to become patrons of these neutral periodi- 
cals. 



CHAPTER XII. 

MARRIAGE. 

Young men should allow matrimony, to be a 
frequent subject of serious reflection.* I repeat, 
serious reflection. Although young people are ge- 
nerally in the habit of viewing marriage as a light, 
pleasant, laughable matter, of no great moment, 
yet it is a subject which deeply involves their en- 
joyment, their peace and prosperity through life, 
and therefore it is one of weight and importance. 
Marriage is one of the vital institutions of civili- 
zed life. In whatever community it holds a high 
and sacred rank, it is the source of all the social 
virtues and enjoyments. But wherever its holy 
obligations are unknown or unheeded, man sinks 
to the level of the brute, in regard to every thing 
that is elevating and ennobling. 

Marriage is a duty — made so by our Creator. 
In forming the man, he did not intend him to be 
a lone and solitary being. The sacred historian 
instructs us that " the Lord God said, it is not 

* I vv^ould refer the reader to the Fifth Lecture of 
*' Combe's Moral Philosophy/' for some useful remarks 
respecting marriage, which should be read and heeded by 
every youth who expects to enter the matrimonial state. 



MARRIAGE. 237 

good that the man should be alone ; I will make 
hhn a helpmeet for him." From the body of 
Adam, the woman was formed ; and Deity utter- 
ed the authoritative requirement, " therefore shall 
a man leave his father and his mother, and shall 
cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh." 
Here is a strict command to enter the marriage 
state. 

Matrimony is made a duty by nature. The hu- 
man race are equally divided into the two sexes, 
male and female. They are evidently intended 
for each other's society. The woman, from her 
delicate constitution, stands in need of the aid, 
the protection and support of the sterner and more 
vigorous sex. And it is equally necessary that 
the man should be civilized, polished, and curbed 
in the outbreaking of his impetuous passions, un- 
der the influence of the purer mind and sweeter 
affections of woman. There is no way in which 
these mutual benefits can be so properly and so 
beneficially bestowed, as through the institution 
of marriage. The ties thus formed, call mto ac- 
tivity, all the kmdest and holiest affections of our 
natures— they bring out the bright virtues and 
excellences of the human heart, and awaken to 
life, that love which sweetens the uneven journey 
of earthly existence. 

Every young man should make it the settled 
resolution of his mind, to enter the matrimonial 
state. This should be one of the important ulte- 



238 



MARRIAGE. 



rior objects, to which his earlier plans and exer- 
tions should tend. To take upon himself the 
marriage obligations, with proper views and in pro- 
per circumstances, should be the goal at which 
every honorable young man should endeavor early 
to arrive. And they should never consider the«n- 
selves as perfectly settled in life, and prepared to 
take their proper station in society, until they ob- 
tain this " helpmeet," this better half. 

" The wish to marry, if prudently indulged, 
will lead to honest and persevering exertions to 
obtain a reasonable income — one which will be 
satisfactory to the object of your hopes, as well 
as to her friends. He who is determined on liv- 
ing a single life, very naturally contracts his en- 
deavors to his own narrow personal wants, or else 
squanders freely, in the belief that he can always 
procure enough to support himself. Indeed it 
can not have escaped even the careless obseryer, 
that in proportion as an individual relinquishes 
the idea of matrimony, just in the same propor- 
tion do his mind and feelmgs contract. On the 
contrary, that hope which aims at a beloved part- 
ner — a family — a fireside-"will lead its possessor 
to activity in all his conduct. It will elicit his 
talents, and urge them to their full energy, and 
probably call in the aid of economy ; a quality so 
indispensable to every condition of life. The sin- 
gle consideration, " ' What would she think, were 
she now to see me V called up by the intrusion of 



MARRIAGE. 



239 



a favorite image — how often has it stimulated a 
noble mind and heart to deeds which otherwise 
had never been performed !"* " The first bless- 
ing," says Bishop Taylor, '' God gave to man, was 
society ; and that society was a marriage ; and 
that marriage was confederate by God himself, and 
hallowed by a blessing. Celibacy, like the fly in 
the heart of an apple, sits alone, and is confined, 
and dies in singularity. But marriage, like the 
useful bee, builds a house, and gathers sweetness 
from every flower, and unites into societies and re- 
publics, and sends out colonies, and feeds the 
world with delicacies, and keeps order, and exer- 
cises many virtues, and promotes the interest of 
mankind, and is that state of good things to which 
God hath designed the present constitution of the 
world." 

Some young men deem it exceedingly wise to 
make up their minds not to marry at all. But this 
determination is as ungenerous and dishonorable, 
as it is unnatural and unreasonable. And those 
who form it, are treasuring up to themselves 
evils and soitows. The disadvantages of a single 
life are not so sensibly experienced while youth 
and health continue. But when old age creeps 
on, and the bachelor becomes wearied with the 
amusements of youth, and is necessitated to seek 
out other sources of enjoyment, then he feels the 

* Young Man's Guide. 



240 MARRIAGE. ^'^^^^^M 

desolation of his condition. Avoided in society, 
as one who is crusty, sour, cold-hearted and aus- 
tere, with no domestic circle, no affectionate com- 
panion or loving offspring, to welcome, and cheer, 
and smile upon him in his hours of retirement- 
he feels that he is indeed alone — a forlorn, isola- 
ted, forsaken being ; the object of the scorn of the 
young, and the derision of the old, and the gene- 
ral &w<i of ridicule and sarcasm. Thei-e is no in- 
dividual in community, more generally disliked 
and unenvied, than the old bachelor ! "When sick- 
ness overtakes him, he experiences still more keen- 
ly, his lonely condition. With no guardian angel 
hovering around his couch, to present the sooth- 
ing cordial, and to sympathise in his sufferings, 
he lingers upon the bed of disease — is administer- 
ed to fey the careless hand of strangers, in accord- 
ance to his ability to remunerate them — and finally 
dies unwept and unregretted, and his name sinks 
into oblivion ! Such is the career of the bachelor ! 
How cheerless and uninviting I 

The difference in the condition of single ladies 
and gentlemen, is strikingly obvious. Many la- 
dies remain single through life, more from the 
force of circumstances, than from choice. Young 
men should remember that the condition of ladies, 
in regard to matrimony, is peculiar. From the 
usages of society, ladies can not seek out and se- 
lect companions; but they must remain to be 
sought. They can reject proposals, but they can 



MARRIAGE. 241 

not make them — they can decline alliance with 
individuals whom they dislike, but they can not 
propose it to those whom they would choose. — 
From these restraints, imposed by the rules of 
>3ropriety, a lady is not to be supposed to remain 
single from aversion to that institution of marriage, 
which has been formed by the Creator. She is 
not, therefore, to be disrespected on this account. 
But the bachelor, from his superior advantages 
of selection, must remain single only through 
choice ; and thus makes himself justly the object 
of animadversion and contempt ! 

A young man has no " right to sport v/ith the 
affections of a young woman, in any way whatever. 
Vanity is generally the tempter in this case ; a de- 
sire to be regarded as being admired by the wo- 
men ; a very despicable species of vanity, but fre- 
quently mischievous, notwithstanding. You do 
not, indeed, actually, in so many words, promise 
to marry ; but the general tenor of your language 
and deportment, has that meaning ; you know that 
your meaning is so understood ; and if you have 
not such meaning— if you be fixed by some pre- 
vious engagement with, or greater liking for, ano- 
ther if you know you are here sowing the seeds 

of disappointment— and if you persevere in spite 
of the admonitions of conscience — you are guilty 
of deliberate deception, injustice and cruelty. 
You make to God an ungrateful return for those 
endowments which have enabled you to achieve 
16 



242 ^ MARRIAGE. 

this inglorious and unmanly triumph ; and if, as 
is frequently the case, you glory in such triumph, 
you may have person, riches, talents to excite 
envy ; but every just and humane man will abhor 
your heart."* 

The proper time for marriage, is a subject of 
some moment. You should not enter the matri- 
monial state, until you are competent to support 
a family in circumstances of comfort. There is 
a Spanish proverb which says, " a husband with- 
out ability, is like a house without a roof." The 
man who has not the ability to provide for a fami- 
ly, would entail wretchedness upon himself, and 
those connected with him, weie he to be married. 
But in this land of plenty, there are no young men 
possessing health and habits of industry and econo- 
my, who are incapable of maintaining a family^ by 
the time they arrive at a suitable age for wedlock. 
Early marriages are preferable to late ones. By 
delaying until middle life, or old age, the habixs 
and temper of the parties become fixed, and it is 
with great difficulty that they can adapt themselves 
to each other's dispositions, so as to pass, pleasant- 
ly through life — though it is better to marry late 
in life, than not at all. As a general rule, young 
men should not marry before the age of four or 
five and twenty, nor delay it, except where circum- 
stances imperiously demand, after thirty. " In 

* Guide. 



i 



MARRIAGE. 243 

Wurtemberg it is illegal for any young man to 
marry before the age of twenty-five, or any young 
woman before eighteen ; and no man is allowed 
to marry at any age, unless he can shew to the 
priest, his ability to provide for a wife and family. 
Such laws are extremely rational and judicious."* 

The proper qualifications of a wife, is a topic 
in which young men are deeply interested. It 
has been remarked — probably by some crusty old 
bachelor — that choosing a wife, is like buying a 
ticket in a lottery. AVere young men blind and 
deaf, or void of discrimination, this assertion might 
be true. But to those youth who see and hear, 
and who do not allow their imagination to run 
away with their judgment, the selection of a com- 
panion need not be a matter of great uncertainty. 
In choosing a wife, you should be solicitous to 
obtain one who is good and useful^ rather than one 
who is only beautiful and accomplished. Say 
what we will, in regard to beauty of person, and 
exercise as much caution as may be, against its 
attractions, still it will exercise all the influence 
it deserves. I do not caution you against select- 
ing a young woman who is handsome ; but I warn 
you against choosing a wife whose only attraction 
is beauty of person. The morning cloud and the 
early dew are not more fleeting, than comeliness 
of form and features. He who marries a lady 

* Moral Philosophy. 



244 MARRIAGE. 

whose only desirable qualifications are a hand- 
some face and person, will in a few years, perceive 
that the object of his choice has become faded 
and plain ; and beauty, her only attraction, hav- 
ing fled, there is great danger that alienation of 
heartandalifeof wretchedness will ensue. While 
personal beauty will exercise an influence upon 
young men, I would urge you to seek for other 
qualifications of a less fleeting class ; and if you 
do not observe them in the female who attracts 
your attention, beware of an union with her. If 
a man marries a doll because it is a doll, he must 
attribute it to his own weakness, if he is doomed 
to discover that his companion possesses no other 
attractions hut those of a doll I 

You should also beware of any undue influence 
from useless accomplishments. A young lady 
may dance gracefully, sing delightfully, execute 
music skilfully, and have at her tongue's end the 
adventures of the heroes and heroines of all the 
popular novels of the day, and yet if she possesses 
a sour disposition, an irascible temper, a cold, 
ungenerous heart, and is ignorant of domestic du- 
ties, she would make a poor and profitless com- 
panion. Such ladies, 

"May do very well for maiJens or aunts, 
But, believe me, they'll never make wives." 

** There's many a good wife that can neither sing 
nor dance well." " I am an old fellow," says the 
poet Cowper, in one of his letters to Hurdis, " but 



MARRIAGE. '245 

I had once my dancing days as you have now ; 
yet I never could find that I could learn half so 
much of a w^oman's character by dancing with her, 
as by conversing with her at home, when I could 
observe her behavior at the table, at the fireside, 
and in all the trying circumstances of domestic 
life. We cire all good when we are pleased ; but 
she is the good woman who wants not the fiddle 
to sweeten her." A ball-room, a party, or the 
church, are poor places to select a wife. The 
fairest appearances are there put forth ; but you 
know not the faults and imperfections in mind, in 
disposition and habits, which they may covejr. — 
The old proverb wisely says — " If thou desirest a 
wife, choose her on a Saturday, rather than on a 
Sunday." A few familiar visits Avhen the object 
of your attention is engaged in domestic affairs 
and has no expectation of seeing you, will afford 
a clearer view of her qualities and habits, than 
years of intimacy under other circumstances. — 
You should endeavor to conceive, if possible, what 
will be the disposition, the habits, the character, 
of your intended companion, a few years hence, 
when she will have been tried in the severe school 
of experience and domestic cares. If you have 
reason to apprehend that her qualities will not be 
as valuable and attractive then, as now, you had 
better abandon, at once, all idea of connexion with 
her — for marriage with such an one, is far more 
likely to be fruitful of evil than of good. 



1 



246 MARRIAGE. 



Young men should not look for perfection in 
the female sex, either in beauty of person, or in 
disposition, or mind. This would not be gener- 
ous or reasonable — perfection dwells not in mor- 
tal frames. But there are a few valuable and all- 
important characteristics, which every young man 
should be satisfied dwell in the female whom he 
selects for his companion. 

1. She should be wV^woMS. Virtue is the basis 
upon which all other valuable female qualities 
mast rest. Women who are virtuous, although 
lacking in many other desirable qualifications, may 
still be valuable and worthy. But when virtue is 
Wanting, the foundation of worth is removed, and 
no other qualification can atone for its absence. 

2. She should have an agreeable disposition 
and an even temper. " This is a very difficult 
thing to ascertain beforehand. Smiles are cheap ; 
they are easily put on for the occasion. By a good 
temper, I do not mean an easy temper, a serenity 
which nothing disturbs ; for that is a mark of la- 
:^iness. Sullenness, if you be not too blind to 
perceive it, is a temper to be avoided by all means. 
A sullen man is bad enough ; what, then, must 
be a sullen woman, and that woman a wife ; a con- 
stant inmate, a companioli day and night. But 
if you have your eyes, and look sharp, you will 
discover symptoms of this if it unhappily exist. 
She will at some time or other, show it to some 
one of the family ; or, perhaps, towards yourself; 



MARRIAGE. 247 

Tind you may be quite sure that in this respect, 
marriage will not mend her."* Good disposition 
and even temper are important accompaniments 
to virtue. For although your intended wife may 
be virtuous and industrious, yet if she has a sour, 
morose disposition and an irascible temper, the 
probability is great, that you will live unhappily 
together. But if she has a kind, pleasant, benevo- 
lent disposition and a well governed temper, your 
prospect is fair, of enjoying a peaceable ^nd agree- 
able home. 

3. She should possess an enlightened mind — ■ 
or, at least, a mind that eagerly seeks for useful 
information. It is well known that the mother 
«ows the first seeds of knowledge in the minds of 
her offspring. How important that she_should 
be qualified to discharge this office in a beneficial 
manner. Her mind should possess clear views, 
not only in relation to general knowledge, but 
especially upon the subject of religion and of mo- 
ral duties. It is extremely unfortunate to marry 
a young woman who is destitute of correct reli- 
gious impressions, and especially one who has no 
inclination to seek for light upon this important 
subject. Such an one, would be peculiarly ex- 
posed to the thraldom of bigotry and fanaticism, 
and your domestic peace would be liable to be em- 
bittered by the deleterious influences of religious 

^ Guide.. 



248 MARRrAGir. 

error. See, then, that the object of your choice 
possesses a sound mind — one that is anxious to ac- 
quire a fund of valuable knowledge, and is capable 
of appreciating the worth cf pure morality and of 
enlightened views of the Gospel of the Saviour. 
4. She should be industrious. A wife destitute 
of industry, is little better than a drone or a block. 
Whatever may be your circumstances, an indus- 
trious companion will be far more valuable, than 
one who prefers to eat the bread of idleness. — 
They had a correct view of this subject anciently. 
In Proverbs, it is said of a virtuous or industrious 
woman — " She will do good and not evil, all the 
days of her life. She seeketh wool and flax, and 
worketh willingly with her hands." And from the 
neatness of his apparel, it is said, " h^r husband 
is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the 
elders of the land." Seek for a young woman, 
who, instead of devising ways and means to squan- 
der your property in useless dress and extravagant 
display, will endeavor, by industry, prudence and 
economy, to assist you in securing a suitable com- 
petency for life — one who will indeed, be " a help- 
meet" for you. If a young lady spends the greater 
part of her time in languishing over a novel, or 
drumming upon the piano, or " spinning street- 
yarn" to indulge in idle gossip, beware of making 
her your companion — she is lacking m one of the 
most important characteristics of a good wife— 
Yi^. industry. 



MARRIAGE. 249 

5. She should be well versed in domestic econo- 
my. " Without a knowledge and love of domes- 
tic concerns, the wife even of a peer, is of but 
little value. It was the fashion in former times, 
for ladies to understand a great deal about these 
things ; and it would be very hard to make me 
believe that it did not tend to promote the inte- 
rests and honor of their husbands." Young men 
should be very cautious on this point. They 
should never knowingly be joined in wedlock to a 
female who is ignorant of the domestic affairs of a 
family. Even though there may be no necessity 
of engaging in them constantly herself, still it is 
important for her to know how they should be 
transacted, in order that her household may be 
conducted in a successful and economical man- 
ner. With an ignorant wife and ignorant servants, 
your domestic concerns will soon be in a lamenta- 
ble condition, and you will suffer in comfort as 
well as in interest. 

Many other valuable characteristics of a good 
wife, might be enumerated, but these must suffice. 
If you obtain a companion who is virtuous, of a 
gentle disposition and even temper, who possesses 
a well informed and tractable mind, is industrious 
and well versed in domestic economy — you will 
secure one of the richest of earthly blessings — 
she will be a jewel above value. Her features may 
be plain, her complexion may not be fair — but 
what are these but fleeting shadows that disappear 



250 MARRIAGE. 

with the few days of youth. " Beauty in woman 
is like the flowers in Spring ; but virtue is hke the 
3_taKs of heaven." Personal beauty is hable to be 
destroyed by the first frost of sickness ; but if your 
chosen one possess the quahties I have enume- 
rated, she is adorned with a beauty, which, in- 
stead of fading and disappearing, will grow bright- 
er and lovelier with advancing age, and sweeten 
all your domestic experience. 



3*f;i 



■vA&iliV 



A VOICE TO YOUNG LADIES. 



CHAPTER I. 

INTRODUCTION. 

The condition of woman, and the estimation in 
which she is held by the other sex, is a true in- 
dex of the state of civihzation in every country. 
Wherever Christianity diffuses its divine influ- 
ences^ — wherever the pages of literature, of sci- 
ence, and of the arts, are unfolded for the perusal 
of the great mass of the people, there woman is 
honored, her rights are respected, her value ap- 
preciated, her worthiness assented to — there she 
is the companion of man, and not his slave ; the 
object of his confidence and love, and not the in- 
strument of his despotic pleasure — there she is 
acknowledged an intellectual and moral being, 
capable of competing Avith the masculine mind in 
the acquisition of those attainments that adorn 
and elevate human nature. But in those lands 
where the light of Christianity has never shone — 
where the arts and sciences are known only to a 
small extent, and where mental and moral dark- 
ness cover the people — woman is a degraded me- 
nial, looked upon by man, as only fitted to per- 
form the drudgery of life, and to do his bidding. 



254 INTRODUCTION. 

To perceive the truth of these remarks, it is 
only necessary to survey the present condition of 
woman, in different pOitions of the earth. In Eu- 
rope and America, where Christianity, civiliza- 
tion, and science diffuse their mingled influences, 
woman holds her highest rank, the native purity 
and lovehness of her quaUties shine out, and her 
talents and capabilities are developed to a degree 
hitherto unknown in the annals of time. But 
contemplate her condition in other sections of 
the globe. Wherever the darkness of ignorance 
reigns in its most complete triumph, there woman 
is plunged in her deepest degradation. In Per- 
sia and Hindostan, in Turkey, in Georgia and 
Circassia, in Chma and the Loo-Choo Islands, 
while her condition is better than in many other 
parts of the world, it is still far inferior in every 
valuable consideration, to her station in Christian 
nations. She is worshipped, it is true, as an idol, 
in some of those countries ; but the emotion 
arises no higher than admiration of personal 
beauty ; she commands no respect for virtue, in- 
telligence, and well-developed intellect. The 
immoralities of Mahometanism and Paganism, 
together with the unnatural institution of polyga- 
'my, unjustly rob her of her rights, her influence, 
and the dearest enjoyments of life. She is made 
the subject of barter and sale, " and her beauty, 
and sometimes her ability to labor, are made 
to contribute to the purposes of avarice and 



INTRODUCTION. 255 

gain." In the islands of South America, in 
the Indian Archipelago, in Australia and Polyne- 
sia, in the Pelew, Society, Friendly, and Sand- 
wich Islands, among the savages in the two con- 
tinents of America, and in all Africa, woman is 
the servile dependent and slave of man — the ob- 
ject of his tyranny and oppression — compelled to 
pel form the severest labors, and to drag out a 
miserable existence, subject to the caprice and 
whim of her lord and master. 

Such is a brief survey of the condition of wo- 
man, throughout the world. The fair daughters 
of America can not be too thankful, that a kind 
Providence has cast their lot in this favored hemis- 
phere, where they are blessed with privileges, and 
surrounded by advantages, of inestimable value. 
The circumstances of the female sex, in what 
are termed civilized countries, have experienced 
material changes, at different periods of the world. 
In the first ages of the Roman Republic, the con- 
dition of woman was little better than that of a 
slave. She was confined exclusively to the labor 
of the household, and was subject entirely to the 
rule of her husband, who held even her Kfe at his 
command. In after ages, however, as civilization 
advanced, the Romans estimated the female cha- 
racter more highly, and conferred many superior 
advantages upon the sex. But when the deep 
ignorance of "the dark ages" enveloped the civ- 
ilized world, and enveloped in its murky folds, re- 



256 INTRODUCTION. 

ligion, literature, and science, the rights of the 
female were involved and lost in the common ruin. 
> Her condition again became as deplorable as at 
any former period of time. But, after a lapse of 
many centuries, when Christianity emerged from 
the long night of darkness, and civilization once 
more began to polish society, a most remarkable 
change in the condition of woman commenced. 
From a state of abject servitude and bondage, she 
suddenly became exalted to the highest degree, 
under the influence of that romantic chivalry, 
which then reigned throughout Christendom. 
She was considered a being scarcely pertaining to 
earth, but was vi^orshipped as a superior spirit ; 
and haughty knights and brave cavaliers, devoted 
their lives to the defence of her character and 
honor. Poets celebrated her praises in strains of 
admiring enthusiasm, and the wandering trouba- 
dour sang of her dazzling loveliness and the 
witchery of her influence. This chivalrous devo- 
tion to woman, which elevated her as far above 
her real merits, as she was before depressed be- 
neath them, continued for several centuries. But 
at length it began to wane under the influence of 
advancing knowledge and information, until it 
finally received its death-blow in the inimitable 
caricature of Don Quixotte. This celebrated 
work held up the knight-errantry of those ages, 
in a light so surpassingly ridiculous, that it van- 
ished as by enchantment. 



^ INTRODUCTION. 257 

From that time, woman began to be viewed in 
a proper light, and her real value to be appreciated. 
While the beauty of her person had lost the en- 
chanting power it formerly possessed, the beauty 
of her intellect, the purity of her heart, the kind- 
ness of her disposition, the depth of her aifections, 
and the valuable attainments she began to deve- 
lope, gave her an influence, not so dazzling, but 
far more extensive and enduring. It was perceiv- 
ed that females possessed minds as well as men — 
that they had been endowed by the Creator with 
the same faculties, and that they were capable of 
high attainment in every department of human 
knowledge. 

This well-grounded respect for the real excels 
lences of woman, has continued to increase to 
the present day ; and the female sex in Chrjstenr 
dom, now holds a higher and nobler rank than at 
any former period. Females are now justly cele? 
brated as authors, musicians, and artists — they 
have become distinguished to an extent that 
would formerly have been considered impossible, 
in eveiy branch of science and general literature. 
As the capabilities of their minds are more and 
more developed, the higher do they j'ise iq the es- 
timation of the other sex, and the more are they 
deemed worthy to become,' not only their compan- 
ions, but their assistants and counsellors. And 
although the matrons of our country, have not 

cJjosen representatives to assemble in conclave at 

17 



258 INTRODUCTION. 

Washiftgtony to be consulted by Congress on the 
affairs of the nation, as was once proposed by an 
eminent female writer, yet, that their station in 
society is an honorable one, and that their condi- 
tion and advantages are immensely superior to 
those enjoyed by females in other portions of the 
globe, can not but be acknowledged. 

It is true, there are men to be found who think 
lightly of the whole female sex, and who pretend 
to doubt their virtue and their ability to acquire 
extensive knowledge. But such individually, it 
will invariably be perceived, are either of an un- 
generous, selfish, misanthropic, cynical disposi- 
tion, or have mingled only with the degraded and 
abandoned of the sex. These men should have 
lived a few centuries past, rather than in tlie pre- 
sent age, to have their views comport with the 
general sentiment. It is not reasonable to look 
for perfection in woman. There are those of her 
sex, who are unprincipled and dissolute, precisely 
as there are such among men. But females sel- 
dom, if ever, become depraved until made so by i 
man's superior depravity. It is as inconsistent f 
and ungenerous to contend, that the entire female 
sex should be suspected on account of the frail- ■ 
ties of some of their number, as to condemn the 
whole male race as thieves and robbers, because 
a few of them, comparatively, have been guilty of 
these crimes. The sneering^nuendoes in which 
some men indulge, respecting female virtue, 



INTRODtTCTION, 250 

should be met by the frowns of every individual 
of honor, as a base attempt to calumniate the 
better part of our race-^especially should ladies 
themselves discountenance such men, and avoi^ 
all connection or association with them. Com- 
pare the females of this country, as a body, with 
the males, and every candid mind will acknowl- 
edge, that among the former there is to be found 
far more purity, virtue, and modesty, far more 
kindness, benevolence, and loveliness of disposi- 
tion, than among the latter. Those who decry 
the purity of woman, should be aware of the in- 
fluence of such conduct. They should know 
that female virtue is the standard that regulates 
public morals, to a great degree, and that the ef- 
forts which they make to destroy that virtue, is a 
blow struck at the welfare of the whole commu- 
nity ; for the purity and morality of both sexes 
rise or fall together. The degradation of woman 
involves the corruption of man, and is the fruitful 
source of wretchedness to both. Instead, there- 
fore, of deriding the morals of woman, every en- 
lightened and honorable man, who values the im- 
provement and exaltation of his race, will rather 
approbate, encourage, and cherish female virtue 
and excellence— will be pleased rather to observe 
it obtaining extension and stability, than to exert 
himself to destroy it ! " When man shall be just 
to her nature, then will he have less cause to cen- 
sure ; for woman will have fewer faults to deserve 



^60 INTRODUCTION. 

censure. Her moral taste, refined and elevated 
by the perceptions of her intellect, will then pre- 
sent her to his view, as a manifestation of a supe- 
rior nature — a copy worthy its original — worthy 
his confidence, companionship, and love." 



CHAPTER II. 



FEMALE INFLUENCE. 



Prom the intimate connection that exists be- 
tween the two sexes, and from the rank which 
females occupy in Christian countries, it is evi- 
dent that their influp-nce in this age, is both ex- 
tensive and powerful. In ancient days, the influ- 
ence of woman, though comparatively small when 
contrasted with its present sway, was not unknown. 
Anacreon, the lyric poet of Ionia, thus sang :— 

"Nature imparts her gifts to all; 
And every creature, large or small, 
That frolics in the sea or strand, 
Receives some favors at her hand. 

X- -A- * * * * 

To man. more bountifully kind, 
She gave the nobler powers of mind j 
And woman, too, was not forgot; 
Both grace and beauty are her lot, 
Whose potent influence will prevail 
When wisdom, wit and weapons fail." 

The influence of woman commences with man's 
existence, and throughout his whole career, how- 
ever diversified, he is never dissolved from it- 
commencing at the cradle, it terminates only at 
the grave. The domestic circle is its fountain 



262 FEMALE INFIiUENCE. 

head, from whence its streams flow throughout 
all the various ramifications of society. Domes- 
tic life is woman's proper sphere. There her pe- 
culiar qualities and powers are developed— there 
she commences the exercise of that sway, which, 
for good or evil, is sensibly felt in the world at 
large — there she begins those lessons which will 
affect those to whom they are addressed, either 
beneficially or injuriously, while earthly life shall 
endure — there she first puts into operation, that 
invisible, yet enduring power, by which she sways 
to an immense extent, the fate of our race — -there 
she commences twining around the hearts of the 
sterner sex, those minute and lasting coj'ds, which 
hold them, in a great degree, to an assimilation to 
her own character. The domestic circle is the 
home of woman, where she the most fully evinces 
her useful and valuable qualifications, and appears 
the most lovely and enchanting. *' A family is 
society in miniature — home is its location— wo- 
man its presiding spirit — and whatever destroys its 
primary features, must disturb the tranquillity of 
its joys, introduce evil into its atmosphere of good, 
inflict the worst of miseries, not only on her, but 
on all its members, and affect the whole commu- 
nity of which it forms a part."* 

Who has not experienced the influence of wo- 
man t Who has not been charmed by the viva- 

* Ladies' Magazine. 



:fem;ale influence. 263 

city of her intellect — enraptured by the sparkling 
of her genius, and filled with admiration by the 
modesty of deportment and simplicity of manners, 
v/hich so pre-eminently distinguish her from the 
other sex ? And whose heart has not been w<on 
to respect and Jove her, for the kindness, the ten- 
derness and benevolence which her conduct is 
ever manifesting ? Ledyard, the well known mo- 
dern traveller, thus bears testimony to that kind- 
ness of disposition from which so much of her 
influence is derived- — " I have always remarked 
that women, in all countries, are civil, obliging, 
tender and humane ; and that they do not hesi- 
tate like man, to perform a generous action. Not 
haughty, not arrogant, not supercilious ; they are 
full of courtesy, and are in general more virtiious 
than man, and perform more good actions than he. 
To a woman, whether civilized or savage, I never 
addressed myself in the language of decency and 
friendship, without receiving a decent and friendly 
answer. In wandering over the barren plains of 
inhospitable Denmark, through honest Sweden, 
and frozen Lapland, rude and churlish Finland, 
unprincipled Russia, and the wide spread regions 
of the wandering Tartar ; if hungry, dry, cold, wet 
or sick, the women have ever been friendly to me, 
and uniformly so ; and to add to this virtue, so 
worthy the appellation of benevolence, these ac- 
tions have been performed in so free and so kind 
a manner, that if I was dry, I drank the sweetest 



^6^4 FEMALE INriiUENCE". 

drafught, and if hungry, I ate the coarsest morseh, 
with a double relish." 

The influence of woman is experienced by the 
other sex, in every stage of existence. How pow- 
erful is the influence which the wife can exercise 
over the husband, when she judiciously employs 
her abilities ! She can mould him into almost 
any character—she can influence him to noble 
and patriotic deeds ; to a virtuous, honorable and 
upright course in life ; to a benevolent, kind and 
peaceable disposition — oi, if the evil inclination 
sways her, she can debase and degrade his mind ; 
destroy all honorable ambition, all aspiring after 
usefulness and respectability ; dispirit and break 
down his mind, and plunge him into disreputable 
and sinful habits. When such is the power of 
woman's influence over her companion, wisdom 
dictates that it should be exercised with great care 
atid prudence. The female who would have her 
husband rise in society, and become useful and 
respected, should reflect, that to attain this end 
uiuch depends upon her own conduct. If she is 
oareless of his interests, negligent of his afliiirs, 
End unconcerned in his plans and prospects, she 
IS a dead weight— yea, her influence will be of a 
oharacter to paralyze his exertions, to discourage 
qim in every useful eflbrt, and to keep him down 
to his present level, or sink him still lower. But 
if she exhibits an interest in his condition — if she 
cheers and encourages him in his losses and in 



FEMALE INFLUENCE. 265 

his moments of depression, instead of railing at 
him — if she endeavors to soothe and allay his feel- 
ings when irritated, instead of exciting them to a 
flame of anger — then the influence of her con- 
duct will be of a highly beneficial character, and 
her labors will not be unrewarded- 

The influence that sisters are capable of exer- 
cising over brothers, is by no means inconsidera- 
ble. Brought up in each other's company, from 
infancy — mingling in a great degree in the same 
scenes, the same amusements — there is usually 
an intimacy between sisters and brothers in youth- 
ful life, much exceeding that between parents and 
children. The influence which the sister thus 
acquires, she can wield, by a judicious course, to 
great advantage. Often the young man, v.'hile 
turning a deaf ear to the counsel of parents, will 
readily listen to the advice of an affectionate sis- 
ter. Being nearer his age, rainglmg with him in 
the same circle, and partaking to a considerable 
extent of the same recreations, she is enabled 
more fully to enter into his feelings and appreci- 
ate the peculiarities of his situation, than the pa- 
rent, and is, therefore, better prepared, in many 
cases, to impart counsel and admonition that will 
have a salutary and virtuous tendency. She can 
watch a brother's failings, and by circumspection 
can so bring her influence to bear, as to counter- 
act, to a very important extent, the baleful temp- 
tations to which he is exposed. 



FEMALE INFLUENCE. 



Sisters can also exercise a salutary influence 
over brothers younger in years. They mingle 
much with them, and are often entrusted with an 
oversight of them in the absence of parents, when 
children throw off restraint and exhibit more 
clearly their true dispositions. In these cases 
sisters should realize that there is no small degree 
of responsibility resting upon them. They should 
notice the development of the tender minds of 
their brothers — should check every improper ex- 
pression, and every evil passion and propensity, 
and exercisie all their influence to give their pliant 
minds and dispositions a virtuous and benevolent 
cast. In this way, young ladies can greatly assist 
their parents in training their brothers to useful- 
ness and respectability. 

I can not forbear adding here, a few sugg.esiions 
relative to the influence of sisters over brothers, 
extracted from a late popular work, by an eminent 
female author, entitled the Young Ladies' Friend. 
" The important relation which sisters bear to 
brothers, can noi be fully appreciated, without a 
greater knowledge of the world and its tempta- 
tions to young men, than girls in their teens, can 
be supposed to possess. I assure you, that your 
companionship and influence may be powerful 
agents in preserving your brothers from dissipa- 
tion, in saving them from dangerous intimacies, 
and maintaining in their minds, a high standard of 
female excellence. If your brothers are younger 



FEMALE INFLUENCE. , 267 

than you, encourage them to be perfectly con- 
fidential with you ; win their friendship by your 
sympathy in all their concerns, and let them see 
that their interests and their pleasures are liberally 
provided for in the family arrangement. Never 
disclose their little secrets, however unimportant 
they may seem to you ; never pain them by an 
ill-timed joke; never repress their feelings by ridi- 
cule ; but be their tenderest friend, and then you 
may become their ablest adviser. If they go into 
company with you, see that they are introduced 
to the most desirable acquaintances, and show 
them that you are interested in their acquitting 
themselves well. If you are so happy as to have 
elder brothers, you should be equally assidious in 
cultivating their friendship, though the advances 
must of course be differently made. Young men 
often feel the want of a confidential friend of the 
softer sex, to sympathise with them in their little 
affairs of sentiment, and happy are those who find 
one in a sister. Once possessed of an elder bro- 
ther's confidence, spare no pains to preserve it. 
Convince him by the little sacrifices of personal 
convenience and pleasure which you are willing 
to make for him, that when you do oppose his 
wishes, it is on principle and for conscience' sake ; 
then will you be a blessing to him, and even when 
differing from you, he will love and respect you 
the more for your adherence to a high standard. 
So many temptations beset young men of which 



FEMALE INFLUENCE. 

youQg women know nothing, that it is of the 
utmost importance that your brothers' evenings 
should be happily passed at home, that their 
friends should be your friends, that their engage- 
ments should be the same as yours, and that va- 
rious innocent amusements should be provided 
for them in the family circle. Music is an ac- 
complishment chiefly valuable as a home enjoy- 
ment, as rallying round the piano, the various 
members of a family, and harmonizing their hearts 
as well as voices, particularly in devotional strains. 
1 know of no more agreeable and interesting spec- 
tacle, than that of brothers and sisters playing and 
singing together, those elevated compositions in 
music and poetry, which gratify the taste and pu- 
rify the heart, while the parents sit delighted by. 
Brothers and sisters may greatly aid each other 
in judging of their friends of the opposite sex. 
Brothers can throw important light u.pon the cha- 
racter and merits of young men, because they see 
them when acting out their natures before their 
comrades and relieved from the restraints of the 
drawing room. And you can in return, greatly 
assist your brothers in coming to v/ise and just 
conclusions concerning their female friends. — 
Your brothers may be very much indebted to the 
quicker penetration of women into each other's 
characters, and saved by your discernment, from 
being fascinated by qualities that are not of ster- 
ling value. I have been told by men who had 



FEMALE INFLUENCE. ^69 

passed unharmed through the temptations of 
youth, that they owed their escape from many 
dangers, to the intimate companionship of affec- 
tionate and pure minded sisters. They have been 
saved from a hazardous meeting with idle compa- 
ny, by some home engagement, of which their 
sisters were the charm ; they have refrained from 
mixing with the impure, because they would not 
bring home thoughts and feelings which they 
eould not share with their trusting and loving 
friends. They have put aside the wine cup, and 
abstained from strong potations, because they 
would not profane with their fumes, the holy kis& 
with which they were accustomed to bid their 
sisters good night." 

That mothers can exercise a valuable influence 
over children, is beyond controversy. Who first 
instructs the infant to lisp the language of its fa- 
thers ? — the mother. Who first gives form and 
consistency to ideas floating vaguely in its unskill- 
ed mind ? — the mother. Who first furnishes it 
themes for thought and conversation ? — the mo- 
iher. Who gives the first bias and direction to 
its tender mind, both in moral and intellectual re- 
spects ? — the mother. How potent, then, is the 
influence of mothers over children ! The sust 
oeptible mind of the child, is to the mother, " as 
clay in the hands of the potter." She can mould 
and fashion it at will — she can sow the seeds of 
virtue, and morality, and correct religious viewa^ 



270 FEMALE INFIiUENCE. 

both by precept and example, or she caa allow 
her offspring to grow up under the sway of igno- 
rance, and error, and evil passions. In most cases, 
the mother is instrumental in laying the foundation 
of those prominent characteristics, whether good 
or bad, that distinguish her children through life. 
To a mother was our beloved Washington chiefly 
indebted for those principles of honor and integ- 
rity, of virtue, patriotism and religion, which so 
pre-eminently distinguished him in his trying ca- 
reer. From a mother Napoleon obtained that 
energy of character, that perseverance, industry 
and self-possession, to which he was mainly in- 
debted for his unparallelled success. It is impor- 
tant, therefore, that mothers, and those destin-ed 
to become mothers, should be aware of the influ- 
ence which they sway over their children, and 
should be prepared to wield it in an advantageous 
manner. Let them with care, scatter the seeds 
of patriotism, morality and religion, early, in the 
rich mental soil of their offspring, and, unless 
counteracted by influences of an extrertiely de- 
leterious character, they will, in after life, yield an 
abundant harvest of usefulness and respectability. 
Although the influence of woman is chiefly ex- 
ercised in domestic life, yet it is not confined to 
that circle ; but, to a ce:^tain extent, it bears di- 
rectly upon community at large. On all pubHfc 
occasions, where the presence of females is pfo^ 
pery they exercise a coutroling influehce upon 



FEMALE INFLUENCE. 271 

the character of the proceedings. In civilized 
life, deference is ever paid to the feelings and 
taste of woman. In every assembly, whether the 
social circle, the ball-room, the theatre, or any 
public convocation where they are present, if fe- 
males would exercise their undisputed preroga- 
tive, and unitedly frown upon every thing of an 
immoral and dissolute character, their modesty 
would soon cease to be offended, and public mo- 
rals, in these respects, would be improved. But 
if respectable ladies will give their countenance 
to exhibitions of an improper character — if they 
will smile approvingly, at attitudes, or gestures, 
or words, that should call up the crimson blush 
of shame — they must expect that such occur- 
rences will continue to be exhibited before them. 
They have the remedy for this evil in the?r own 
hands, and if they fail to exercise it, they must 
continue to experience its deleterious influences. 
Young ladies can also exercise a sensible 
influence upon the character of the young men 
with whom they associate. They have the pow- 
er of causing the conduct of their male associ- 
ates to be such as they desire. Let them refuse 
to associate or havi3 any intercourse with young 
men who are addicted to evil habits^ — let therii 
give a firm and indignant reproof to, or withdraw 
immediately from the presence of, those young 
men who exhibit any thing immoral or improper, 
either in word or deed — and many evils which 



272 FEMALE INFLUENCE. 

now exist, "would be abated. Young men will al- 
most invariably cause their conduct to correspond 
with the tastes of the females in whose company 
they desire to mingle. And in the great majority 
of cases, they will abandon any evil practice, ra- 
ther than lose the approving smiles of those la- 
dies whom they esteem. Let young women re- 
member this truth, and exercise the powerful in- 
fluence they possess, in a prudent manner, and 
effects highly beneficial to themselves, and to com- 
munity, will ensue. 

The influence exercised by females over hus- 
bands, brothers, and those with whom they are 
intimate, is exceedingly varied in degree. Wlivle 
some possess this influence to an extraordinary 
extent, others appear wholly destitute of it. The 
amount of influence depends entirely upon the 
conduct observed towards those over whom it is 
desirable to exercise it. Woman can not com,' 
inand man to conform to her tastes and views — 
she must win him into conformity. Man often 
accomplishes his purposes by power, and violence, 
and contention. But this is not woman's pro- 
vince* — these are not her weapons. She has but 
one general course of procedure to obtain an in- 
fluence over those with whom she is connected, 
or in whose welfare she is interested — and that is, 
by persuasion, by kindness, by gentleness and af- 
fection, by the continued exhibition of a sweet 
temper, and of a loving and forgiving spirit, 



FEMALE INFLUEJI^CE. 273 

These, and these only, are the means by which 
she can gain influence over the sterner sex. It is 
contrary to human nature for man to be coerced 
or driven into any measure by woman, and she 
who undertakes this course, is ignorant of her 
powers, ignorant of her proper sphere of action, 
and blind to her own happiness ! 

I a^m pained to declare, (yet the experience of 
all will bear witness to its truth,) that the wretch- 
edness which many females experience, is too 
frequently caused, or at least augmented and per- 
petuated, by their own misjudged conduct. Sup- 
pose you have reason to believe the affections of 
the husband, or of the young man with whom you 
had hoped to be connected for life, are becoming 
cool toward you, and turning to some other per- 
son, what course should you pursue to regain his 
love ? Should you reproach and deride him, and 
treat him with bitter scorn and anger ? No — 
this canduct would be calculated directly to de- 
feat the end you would accomplish^ — it would 
cause you to appear more disagreeable to him 
than ever, and make a still wider breach in his af- 
fections. The true policy for woman to pursue 
in this case, is to assume all the lovely attractions 
of her nature — to be forgiving, kind, affectionate, 
and as pleasant and agreeable as possible. This is 
the only course she can possibly adopt, with the 
least prospect of wmninghimback to his first love ! 

Suppose the husband absents himself from home, 

18 



274 FEMALE INFLUENCE. 

and spends his leisure hours at the haunts of in- 
temperance and vice, how shall the wife secure 
his company by his own fire-side, and save him 
from ruin ? By meeting him, on every return, 
with a storm of clamor, and fury, and violence ? — 
by making his ears " tingle" with a flood of harsh 
invective and reproach ? — by causing herself, the 
family, and the dwelling, to appear as disagreea- 
ble and repulsive to him as possible ? No — wo- 
man, remember — no ! This conduct will not, 
can not, amend him — it will cause him to dislike 
and dread home above all other places — it will in- 
fluence him to absent himself as frequently and 
as long as possible, and rivet the chains of vicious 
habits upon him ! There is a better, a more safe 
and successful method for you to pursue. You 
need not approbate his vices, but whenever you 
allude to them — which you may frequently— do 
it in a kind tone of voice, and in an affectionate 
and beseeching manner. And when he enters his 
dwelling, meet him with a smile of love, instead 
of a frown of hatred — be gentle, sweet, even-tem- 
pered, in all your words and actions — let your 
dwelling be " swept and garnished," and made as 
cheerful and pleasant as possible — arrange all 
things to suit his convenience and taste. The 
moment you have made home more agreeable 
and satisfactory to him than the places of his re- 
sort, that moment you have achieved the victory. 
We are always desirous to tarry the longest where 



FMMALE Ii^FLUl5NCE. 275 

we enjoy ourselves the best. If the wife studies 
to make the domestic fire-side pleasant and de- 
lightful to her companion, the case is rare that 
she will have just cause to complain of his ab- 
sence. By pursuing this prudent and judicious 
course, on the appearance of the first symptoms 
of an inclination in the husband to tarry needless- 
ly from home, and, indeed, when no such inclioa 
tion exists at all — the wife can not only secure 
her own peace and enjoyment, but can save the 
husband fiom threatened degradation and ruin.'- 

Such being a general view of the influeuce 
possessed by woman in her different stations in 
society, young ladies will perceive the importaiice 
of qualifying themselves to sway it, in a manner 
beneficial to themselves and their race. The 
saying, that " woman rules the world," can hardly 
be an exaggeration. Her power is i mmense ; and 
when properly directed, can be the cause of ati 
incalculable amount of good. But woman should 
remember that she can rule only by pleasing— 
and she can never please by stepping out of her 
proper sphere and arbitrarily demanding to rule- 
It is necessary that young ladies should reflect 
much upon the peculiarities of the condition they 

*The remarks in this chapter, applicable to married 
ladies, are naturally involved in the subject of female in 
fluerice, and are addressed to young women, from the 
supposition that the most of those who peruse tliese 
lines, will, in due time, enter the marriage state. 



276 FEMALE INFLUENCE. 

will be likely to occupy in community ; that by a 
full understanding of the necessary requisites, 
they may be prepared for a faithful and useful 
discharge of all the duties that may devolve upon 
them. 



CHAPTER III. 

EARLY ASSOCIATES. 

The love of society is an emotion deeply im- 
planted in human nature. To be in the presence 
of our fellow-beings, to interchange thoughts, 
emotions and opinions, upon subjects mutually 
interesting, is a source of high intellectual and 
social enjoyment. This inclination for society, 
termed by Phrenology "Adhesiveness," has been 
exhibited in all ages. Amid the blooming beau- 
ties of Eden, the happiness of our father Adam 
was not complete, until a companion was provided 
to be the sharer of his thoughts and his joys. In 
childhood, this propensity for society is early de- 
veloped. Children evince an exceeding fondness 
for each other's company ; and soon they form 
those friendships and attachments, which fre- 
quently continue through life. 

The social inclination appears to exist more 
strongly in woman than in man. Under the in- 
fluence of misanthropic feelings, man sometimes 
so far violates the promptings of his nature, as to 
withdraw from all intercourse with his fellow-be- 
ings, and in the gloomy mountain cavern, or the 



278 EARLY ASSOCIATES. 

far recesses of the forest, pass his days in dreary 
solitude. But in the whole history of our race, 
I know not that there is an instance recorded, 
where woman thus voluntarily banished herself 
from society. It is well known that females in the 
years of childhood and youth, exhibit to a high 
degree this love of social intercourse. They de- 
light to mingle together ; and by a mutual dispo- 
sition to please, they confer enjoyment upon each 
other. These feelings are natural and proper ; 
ahd the young should be allowed to indulge them 
to a consistent extent. 

The influence exercised upon young ladies by 
their associates, must necessarily be great, and 
will exert an important tendency in the formation 
of character. " We are all," says Locke, " a 
kind of camelions, that take a tincture from the 
objects that surround us." It is a maxim of Solo- 
mon, that " he that walketh with wise men shall 
be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroy- 
ed." And the same wise man utters another ad- 
monition of similar import — " Make no friendship 
with an angry man, and with a furious man thou 
shalt not go ; lest thou learn his ways, and get a 
snare to thy soul." These maxims are founded 
upon the well known propensity in human natute, 
to imitate the characteristi cs of those with whom 
we associate. We slowly, yet surely, imbibe a 
certain degree of the disposition, tastes and ha- 
bits, whether good or bad, of our companions. 



EARLY ASSOCIATES. 279 

Their peculiarities in thinking, speaking and act- 
ing, gradually become ours, and we ere long, in 
a measure, see with their eyes, and hear with their 
ears. 

How necessary, then, young ladies, that you 
should exercise great precaution and circumspec- 
tion, in the selection of your associates of both 
sexes* You should not trust this matter entirely 
to chance — you should not mingle indiscriminate- 
ly with whatever company you may casually come 
in contact ; but with prudence and care, should 
you select those with whom you would associate 
and form intimacies. You can not be too care- 
ful in regard to the character, habits and accom- 
plishments of those whom you choose for com- 
panions. An associate of loose morals, of low 
and indelicate habits, whose conversation is vul- 
gar, and whose general demeanor is uncultivated, 
will exercise an influence over you, the deleteri- 
rious consequences of which may be ruin and 
wretchedness. Mankind seem to imbibe vicious 
habits more readily than those that are virtuous. 
This can be accounted for on no other principle, 
than that exertion, industry and perseverance, 
are necessary to acquire or retain virtuous habits 
against the assaults of vicious temptations — while 
to become corrupt and depraved, it is only requi- 
site that we allow our mental and moral powers 
to remain in a quiescent, indolent stale, and per- 
mit the passions to obtain that control which they 



280 EARLY ASSOCIATES. 

are ever seeking. Hence, one corrupt corapanion 
with whom you are intimate, will often counter- 
act and overthrow all the admonitions and persua- 
sions to virtue, that can be brought to bear upon 
you. But the influence of pure and virtuous com- 
panions, can not but be salutary and beneficial. 

Community will judge your character by the 
character of your associates. If you seek the 
company of those who are circumspect, prudent 
and well-informed, it will evince to the world that 
you highly estimate these qualifications, and you 
will be proportionately exalted in public estima- 
tion. But if you mingle with the rude and vul- 
gar, people will readily conclude you are drawn 
into such associations by a similarity of taste and 
inclination, and v/ili judge you accordingly. And 
when a young lady once awakens suspicions in 
this manner, as to her character, it is difficult — 
exceedingly so — to free herself from dishonorable 
imputations ! 

The counsel of parents, and of tried friends 
more advanced in life, should be duly heeded in 
selecting associates. You may be blinded by pre- 
possession to the faults of those with whom you 
would mingle ; but others, uninfluenced by im- 
proper bias, can more distinctly perceive the im- 
perfection^of your companions, and are thus ena- 
bled to warn you of the dangers to which you may 
be exposed-"and wise is she, who will listen to 
and obey such precautions. 



EARLY ASSOCIATES. 281 

That the young should be fond of sprightly 
company and of cheerful conversation, is to be ex- 
pected — it is the natural inclination of their age, 
when all the emotions are vigorous and elastic. 
When these bouyant feelings are controlled by 
modesty and characterized by sense, they maybe 
indulged to advantage. But while you are at 
liberty to select associates who are cheerful, see 
that you do not choose those who allow their ani- 
mation to degenerate into levity and immorality ; 
but rather those whose free flow of good feeling, 
is the medium of the acquisition or communica- 
tion, of useful information or accomplishments. 
Wisdom and knowledge may be arrayed in garbs 
that are cheerful and pleasing. 

I would not have young ladies too fastidious in 
the choice of associates, or imagine they must 
look alone to the higher circles in society, either 
for companions or examples ; for, unfortimately, 
these circles are often deficient in both, of value. 
It is better to select those with whom you would 
form friendships from the circle to which you be- 
long, than to choose unworthy associates from a 
higher class. You should not look for perfection 
in any of your fellow-beings — you will perceive 
failings in the most perfect. But there are certain 
general characteristics which those with whom 
you associate should possess. They should be 
kind and amiable in disposition, and discreet, pru- 
dent and modest in deportment — they should pos- 



•282 EARLY ASSOCIATES. 

sess sound morals, and have a due regard to reli- 
gious subjects — they should be free from habits 
of fault-finding and tale-bearing, free from indo- 
lence and slovenliness — they should not be at^ 
tached to gaieties of a frivolous character, or in 
love with those amusements which exert a delete- 
rious influence upon public morals — they should 
possess sound understandings and well-informed 
minds, or minds that are inclined to seek for use- 
ful information. With such, associate, and from 
among them choose those with whom you would 
form friendships and intimacies. But shun those 
who are deficient in these valuable qualifications. 
While the greater proportion of the above will 
apply to associates not only of your own sex, but 
of the opposite, T, nevertheless, would indite a 
few precautions in especial reference to the latter. 
It is very proper that you should associate with 
young men, under the salutary restrictions of pro- 
priety and good breeding. But if it is necessary 
that you should be cautious in regard to your 
companions of your own sex, how much more 
important that you should exercise great prudence 
, in relation to the character of the young men with 
whom you associate — especially of those with 
whom you are intimate ! Make it a fixed princi- 
ple of conduct, never to countenance the atten- 
tions or the company of young men who are pro- 
fane, or dishonest, or intemperate, or addicted to 
any improper or dissolute habits. Their society 



1 



EARLY ASSOCIATES. 283 

is dangerous — your respectability and happiness 
are hazarded by associating with them— and to 
form a connection with them for Ufe, would be 
extremely liable to entail wretchedness upon you. 
Avoid, also, the society o{ flatterers. They are 
an unworthy, and generally an unprincipled class. 
The man who endeavors to flatter you, insults 
your understandmg, by taking it for granted that 
you are so weak-minded as not to perceive the emp- 
tiness of his fulsome adulation. The flatterer has 
never a good motive in view — he never flatters to 
benefit you — and although his words may fall upon 
your ears with honied sweetness, yet remember, 
they are filled with the poison of pollution and mo- 
ral death. William Penn, in writing to his daugh- 
ters, gave them this salutary advice — " Avoid flat- 
terers, for they are thieves in disguise — their praise 
is costly, designing to injure those they bespeak — 
they are the worst of creatures — they lie to flatter, 
and flatter to cheat — and, which is worse, if you 
believe them, you cheat yourselves most danger- 
ously." With young men who are moral, virtu- 
ous and industrious, who have some laudable oc- 
cupation, whose habits are pure and upright, who 
honor and respect your sex, and are under the 
sway of correct religious principles, you can freely 
associate, with mutual improvement and benefit. 



CHAPTER IV. 

FORMING THE MANNERS. 

" Manners maketh man," is a motto inscribed 
in the celebrated school of William of Wykham, 
at Winchester, England. And it is no less true, 
in the same sense, that manners maketh the lady. 
If alack of good manners, if vulgarity and indeli- 
cacy, are failings disgusting even in man, how 
much more unbecoming are they in woman ! A 
due cultivation of the manners, the general de- 
portment, is of high importance to yonng ladies. 
Next to purity of character and sweetness of dis- 
position, you depend for success in life, upon a 
well-regulated outward deportment. In regard 
to exterior appearance, " manners, and not dress, 
are the ornaments of woman." The dress may 
blaze with jewels — the brow may be encircled by 
a glittering tiara of diamonds — yet if the manners 
are haughty and scornful, or coarse and vulgar, 
in vain is the costly attire assumed ; it can not 
inspire affection or respect in those who are dis- 
criminating. But a demeanor characterized by 
modesty, circumspection, frankness, and good 
temper — -not too forward, nor too reserved — will 



FORMING THE MANNERS. 285 

secure for you the confidence and esteem of your 
acquaintance, even though your dress be of the 
most plain and simple character. Let me assure 
you, young ladies, that, let young men say what' 
they will, they are much sooner captivated by a 
modest, delicate demeanor, than by a brazen 
boldness. .1 do not assert that a set, ceremonious 
deportment is necessary to render a young wo- 
man engaging ; but 1 insist that propriety in man- 
ners, is an essential requisite to a pleasing appear- 
ance. 

In no country is it more important to cultivate 
good manners than in our own ; and yet there is 
a great deficiency of care and instruction in this 
particular. " A young girl often grows up, with- 
out ever being told that to laugh audibly in pub- 
lic, or in crowded assemblies, is not good manners ; 
that presenting herself at the end of a crowded 
bench, and looking for a seat, till some gentleman 
feels himself obliged to give her his, is very ill- 
bred You will be careful not to wear any 

head-dress that will prevent those behind you 
from seeing well ; you will never, by whispering, 
hinder those around you from hearing easily ; 
you will never seem to claim any particular seat 
as your right ; you will never attempt to keep 
seats for those of your party who come later than 
you; you will never suffer, much less oblige, a 
gentleman to relinquish to you the good seat which 
he has fairly earned by going very early, and sitting 



2R() FORMING THK MANNERS* 

long ill patience. You will carefully avoid going 
in late, and disturbing the coin|yany after the lec- 
ture has begun ; but if you do chance to arrive 
late, you will step softly, and take the first seat 
you can find, instead of making further interrup- 
tion, by parading through the room iti search of 

a better If you arc the fust to occupy a seat, 

and it is oi)en at both ends, you should take the 
middle of it ; if open only at one end, you should 
take that part next tlui wall ; because by not do- 
ing this, yon either oblige people to crowd past 
you, or you make a great stir by moving every 

time one is added to ilie number A.hvays think 

of the good of the whole audience, r;uher than of 
your own individual convenience. This rule is 
often transgressed in crowded assemblies, in warm 
weather. The windows are opened for tlu^ good 
of the whole ; but the air comes too powerlully 
on the neck of some individual, and she very 
coolly desires that the window may be shut, en- 
tirely regardless of those who, in the middle of 
the building, are panting for that breath of fresh 
air which slie is shutting out. Health and life 
may depend on your not sitting in that draught 
of air; but if so, you should protect yourself by 
additional clothing, change your seat, or leave ihe 
place, rather than incommode hundieds by hav- 
inis: a window shut on your account. I have seen 
a large assembly of jieople almost sufllocated for 
want of fresh air, in consequence of one window 



FORMING THE MANNERS. 287 

after another being closed, at the request of some 
two or three persons sitting by them."* 

The first impressions we receive in regard to 
persons, are often lasting. And in mingUng in 
society, the stranger forms his first conclusions'of 
your worth, from your manners. It is true, a 
fair countenance, or a symmetrical form, may at- 
tract the eye of a stranger; but if, in his farther 
scrutiny, he discovers superciliousness or vul- 
garity in manners, the charms of person vanish, 
and disgust takes the place of admiration. But 
when your deportment is dictated by i)ropriefy, 
you have the advantage on introduction of mak- 
ing a favorable impression at once. People ge- 
nerally will diaw some conclusion from your 
manners, in regard to your real character and 
disposition ; for the outward demeanor is always 
understood, without something is distinctly known 
to the contrary, as indicating the moral principles 
and the emotions of the heart. " You may lake 
two individuals of precisely the same degree of in- 
tellect and moral worth, and let the manners oi" 
the one be bland and attractive, and those of the 
other, distant or awkward, and you will find that 
the former will pass through life with far more 
ease and comfort than the latter. For though 
good manners will never effectually conceal a bad 
heart, and are, in no case, any atonement for it. 



*Young Lady's Friend. 



288 FORMING THE MANNERS. 

yet, taken in connection with amiable and virtu- 
ous dispositions, they naturally and necessarily 
gain upon the respect and good-will of mankind." 
Let it be understood that the real source of 
good manners and a pleasing deportment, is in 
the heart. They must rest upon kmd, amia- 
ble, benevolent feelings — upon a disposition of 
good-will towards your fellow- beings, and a desire 
to minister to their enjoyments. Unless these 
emotions dwell in the soul, and influence the con- 
duct, young ladies can not display that pleasing, 
attractive demeanor upon which, from their con- 
dition, they so much depend for prosperity in 
life. The dancing and the posture masters may 
give a certain polish to the manners, but without 
these kind emotions of the soul, they will be cold, 
hypocritical, and repulsive ; and in such an in- 
stance, the least discernment is sufficient to satis- 
fy the spectator, that although bows, and smiles, 
and simpers plentifully abound, yet the heart is 
uninterested and insensible. Such efforts to 
please are thrown away. But when the heart 
possesses che proper feelings — when you are 
kindly disposed toward all — it will require but 
little training to cause the manners to become 
proper and pleasing. Be it remembered, then, 
that in acquiring pleasing manners, the attention 
must first be directed to the heart ! Banish from 
it all improper desires and evil dispositions, all 
emotions of haughtiness, pride, envy, jealousy. 



FORMING THE MANNERS. 289 

hatred, and enmity — let no feelings obtain ascen- 
dency there, but such as are amiable, kind, and 
praiseworthy — and without the shade of a doubt, 
your deportment will be appropriate and attrac- 
tive. 

You should not mistake in what the character- 
istics of a genuine ** lady" consist. Remember 
that " in this privileged land, where we acknow- 
ledge no distinctions but what are founded on 
character and manners, she is a lady who, to in- 
bred modesty and refinement, adds a scrupulous 
attention to the rights and feelings of others. 
Let her worldly possessions be great or small, let 
her occupations be what they may, such an one 
is a lady^ a gentlewoman ! Whilst the person who 
is bold, coarse, vociferous, and inattentive to the 
rights and feelings of others, who is haughty and 
overbearing, let her possessions be ever so great, 
and her way of living ever so genteel, and her 
beauty ever so fascinating, is a vulgar woman. 
Thus we may see a lady sewing for her livelihood, 
and a vulgar woman moving in fashionable cir- 
cles, or presiding over a most expensive estab- 
lishment." 

In forming the manners, it is well to adopt 
some model for imitation. To this end, select 
from the circle of your acquaintance, some one or 
more females who are your seniors in age, whose 
general deportment is worthy of your imitation — 
allowance being made for diversity of age and 
19 



290 FORMING THE MANNERg. 

condition. Let your model combine every qua- 
lification that is useful and agreeable — remember- 
ing that " those who speak well and do welly 
should alone be imitated." I would not have you 
servilely imitate every word and action ; this 
would beget a formality that would be disgusting ; 
and there arc peculiarities in manners which are 
becoming in some, that would be disagreeable 
and repulsive in others. But by having an exam- 
ple before you, and by conforming therewith in 
your general deportment, your demeanor will 
soon naturally become characterized by an attrac- 
tive propriety. 

Affectation and vanity are to be sedulously 
avoided by eveiy young woman. To assume 
manners, attitudes, and forms of speech, that are 
not natural or becommg — to take upon you an 
appearance of accomplishments and refinements, 
which you do not possess— in fine, to pretend to be 
what you are not — is a practice exceedingly re- 
pulsive ; it is unworthy the female character, and 
will subject you to ridicule and contempt. It is 
assuming a gloss which is easily seen through — it 
is adopting a deception which is readily detected ; 
and the results of these false assumptions, will be 
greatly to your injury. Never be guilty of puer- 
ile affectations and mdications of false modesty. 
Let your conduct be characterized by prudent 
frankness, simplicity, and candor, and it will be 
far more agreeable and winning. " Delicacy is, 



FORMING THE MANNERS. S9l 

in truth, a shy and sensitive plant, which shrinks 
from observation, and is frequently most abund- 
ant where the least of it is obtruded upon our no- 
tice. There are, doubtless, some ladies, who 
from nourishing a morbid sensibility, are delicate 
to excess. But, generally speaking, they who 
make a troublesome and ostentatious display of 
delicacy, affect that which they do not feel. The 
young reader may be assured, that this affectation 
is not only wicked for its hypocrisy, but very in- 
jurious to the reputation of those who display it. 
Real piety shuns all singularities, and never 
courts observation by ostentatious rigor. It is 
the same with delicacy. That which is real, is 
always unobtrusive and unstudied. The inno- 
cent, having nothing to conceal, practice no art ; 
and an open simplicity of manner, the very re- 
verse of affectation, is an infallible symptom and 
sure companion of true delicacy." 

You should also avoid a haughty, overbearing 
disposition and air. This is deprecated when 
seen in men ; but it is far more unnatural and dis- 
agreeable in women. With those who, from their 
vices, are unworthy your respect, you should 
hold no intercourse whatever. But whoever, 
from their virtues, are deserving your respect, 
should be treated in accordance with their merits. 
Your conduct towards them should be marked 
by affability, condescension, and esteem, what- 
ever may be their rank or condition. A haughty 



292 FORMING THE MANNERS* 

woman is disliked by her own sex, and shunned 
by the other, as one who is, or will be, a termagant. 
There are several qualifications indispensably 
requisite to the deportment of ladies, and without 
which, all other conceivable accomplishments are 
vain. It is hardly necessary to inform the young 
lady, that among these, modesty holds the highest 
rank. Modesty is a bright jewel in the charactei 
of woman. It imparts a loveliness and attraction 
to all accomplishments, which we look for in vain 
in its absence. " It heightens all the virtues 
which it accompanies ; like the shades in paint- 
ings, it raises and rounds every figure, and makes 
the colors more beautiful, though not so glaring 
as they would be without it." Modesty is not 
only an ornament to the female character, but 
one of its surest safe-guards. It is a monitor that 
warns of approaching danger, and causes its pos- 
sessor to tlee from evil, and to shrink from even 
the appearance of impropriety. Addison asserts 
with truth, that " if you banish modesty out of 
the world, she carries away with her, half the vir- 
tue there is in it." And I would add, if you ban- 
ish modesty from the characteristics of woman, 
you destroy one of the highest attractions she 
possesses. Modesty atones for the abscEce of 
many other accomplishments. The young lady 
who is unskilled in many of the technicalities of 
refinement, is still attractive when modesty cha- 
racterizes her demeanor — while the reigning helle^ 



I*OR>tING THE MANNERS. 293 

who is a proficient in all the accomplishments of 
the age, is repulsive and disgusting, when exhi- 
biting an immodest demeanor. 

In connection with this subject, there is a prac- 
tice against which I can not avoid cautioning 
young ladies. I refer to public " fairs," or auc- 
tions — one of those modern schemes in which la- 
dies have been induced to engage, to filch money 
from community. In these " fairs," young wo- 
men present themselves to the gaze of a miscel- 
laneous multitude, as public traffickers ; and every 
device is put into execution, to draw "the filthy 
lucre" from the pockets of gentlemen. Is it not 
evident, that on these occasions, many ladies 
place more dependence upon a display of their 
charms and the fascination of their manners, to 
obtain money, than upon the real value of the ar- 
ticles exposed for sale ? These " fairs" could, 
with more propriety, be termed " public marts for 
the display of female arts and fascinations."— 
These public exhibitions — these scenes of ban- 
tering and trickery — require in the ladies engaged 
in them, a boldness, a brazen confidence, a mas- 
culine air and manner, little according with that 
retiring modesty, that sensitive delicacy, so pre- 
eminently becoming in woman ! I would caution 
young ladies against this public display of their 
persons — this practice of extorting and begging 
money from the male sex. It has an indecorous 
appearance, and its tendency upon their modesty 



|894 FORMING THE MANNERS. 

and innate purity of heart, must be any thing but 
salutary. I am aware that these schemes are ge- 
nerally got up under the ostensible name of charii- 
ty. But who does not know that there are other, 
apd more commendable and appropriate ways, 
in which ladies can exert themselves in the cause 
of true benevolence, without violating that deli- 
cacy which is the crowning charm of their nature ? 

Gentleness is another necessary ingredient in 
the manners of the lady. A harsh, headstrong 
disposition, is peculiarly unbecoming in woman ; 
it gives a masculine cast to her character, which 
is far from being agreeable. Superior talents and 
elegant accomplishments, are entirely nugatory, 
unless accompanied by a gentle, docile disposi- 
tion. Gentleness is peculiarly a v/omanly endow- 
nient. It imparls a sweetness, an attraction, to 
the whole character, that is truly prepossessing. 

Young ladies can not be too cautious in regard 
to their deportment towards their associates of 
the male sex. In this respect, there are two ex- 
tremes to be avoided — a forward, coquetish fami- 
liarity, on the one hand, and a prudish, affected 
reserve, on the other. To shun both these ex- 
trepaes, and occupy that medium ground which is 
dictated by propriety, is that peculiar province of 
woman, in which her own good sense must be 
her director. You should, however, be aware, 
that the conversation and manners of young men 
in your presence, will depend much upon your 



TORMING THE MANNERS. 295 

own tastes. Yon kave no inconsiderable power 
in causing their demeanor toward you to be 
agreeable. If, as has been remarked in another 
chapter, their language or deportment is not 
such as you would have it, much of the blame 
can be attached to yourselves ; because you have 
the remedy in your own hands^ By withdrawing 
from their presence, or by a firm, decided repri- 
mand, you can show your displeasure, and the 
evil is remedied. For, believe me, when young 
men ascertain your prmciples and tastes, they 
will studiously endeavor to conform to them, if 
they desire to frequent your company. 

Never aspire after the name of a " belle." 
Young ladies of this character, may be followed 
by a crowd of flatterers for a season ; but they are 
utterly incapable of inspiring that true affection 
which is so requisite to the peace and happiness 
of woman. They are despised by their own sex, 
and distrusted by the other. And after reigning 
for a season, they generally throw themselves 
away on some senseless fop, incapable of cherish- 
ing true esteem, to pass with him a wretched life. 
" Men of loose morals or impertinent behavior, 
must always be avoided ; or, if at any time you 
are obliged to be in their company, you must 
keep them at a distance by cold civility. But in 
regard to those gentlemen with whom your pa^ 
rents or guardians think it proper for you to asso- 
ciate, aijd who give no offence by their niaEiners, 



2§6 FORMING THE MANNERS. 

to them behave with the same frankness and sim- 
plicity as if they were of your own sex. If you 
have natural modesty, you will never transgress its 
bounds whilst you converse with a man, as one 
rational creature with another. You should en- 
deavor to distinguish real esteem and love from 
idle gallantry and unmeaning fine speeches. The 
slighter notice you take of these last, the better ; 
but the first must be treated with seriousness and 
well-bred sincerity — not giving the least encour- 
agement you do not mean, nor assuming airs of 
contempt, where it is not deserved."* 

The subject of female manners can not be bet- 
ter summed up, than in the words of a late wri- 
ter, who thus speaks of Mrs. Hannah More, the 
celebrated English authoress : — " It was my pri- 
vilege, a few years ago, to make a visit to the re- 
sidence of this distinguished female ; a visit which 
I have ever since regarded as among the happiest 
incidents of my life. At that time she numbered 
more than four score years ; but the vigor of her 
intellect was scarcely at all impaired. In her 
manners she united the dignity and refinement of 
the court, with the most exquisite urbanity and 
gentleness, which the female character, in its 
loveliest forms, ever exhibited. She impressed 
me continually with a high sense of the intellec- 
tual and moral qualities by which she was distin- 

*Young Lady's Own Book. 



FORMING ti4e manners. 297 

guished, but still left me as unconstrained as if I 
had been conversing with my beloved child. 
There was an air of graceful and unaffected ease ; 
an instinctive regard to the most delicate proprie- 
ties of social intercourse — a readiness to commu- 
nicate, and yet a desire to listen— the dignity of 
conscious merit, united with the humility of the 
devoted Christian — in short, there was such an 
assemblage of intellectual and moral excellences 
beaming forth in every expression, and look, and 
attitude, that I could scarcely conceive of a more 
perfect exhibition of human character." 



CHAPTER V 



THE HABITS. 



Habit exercises a most powerful sway over hu- 
man actions. It is a chain that is insidiously 
winding itself around us, and binding us to virtue 
or vice — to principles that will lead to prosperity 
and peace, or to practices which will involve us 
in infamy and wretchedness. With our existence 
commence our habits ; and in exact ratio with our 
bodies do they increase in strength and power. 
The character of the habits depends entirely upon 
circumstances, the kind of instruction to which 
we have been subjected, and the nature of the in- 
fluences exercised over us. Habits formed in in- 
fancy and childhood, can easily be corrected and 
moulded into the desired channels ; but those fixed 
upon us at maturity, it is extremely difficult and 
often impossible to eradicate, or even to modify 
to any great extent. Youth, theiefore, when the 
judgment has become sufficiently developed to 
meditate seriously upon those subjects that per^ 



THE HABITS. 299 

tain to our welfare, is a season peculiarly well 
fitted for the formation of those habits which we 
would have influence us through life. Let a pro- 
per foundation be laid in youth — let the habits 
both of body and of mind, be examined and cor- 
rected — let those that are deleterious be expung- 
ed, and those that are good be added — and the 
beneficial fruits of this labor, will be experienced 
through life. 

Good habits should be esteemed as valuable 
friends. They will assist you in every good 
thought and deed ; and they not only impart 
their own grateful fruits, but they possess the 
most valuable tendencies — purifying the mind and 
leading it gently in the paths of virtue and pro- 
priety. One good habit opens the door for the 
introduction of anothei — and as they increase in 
number, they all increase in power, in influence 
and durability. But you should always look upon 
bad habits as your enemies. They oppose your 
enjoyment and prosperity ; and just so far as their 
influence extends, to the same degree will you be 
involved in wretchedness and ignominy. One bad 
habit will not remain satisfied in possession of 
your mind. Its deleterious influence v/ill not only 
directly affect your enjoyments, but will be con- 
tinually exerted to call in another evil habit, and 
another, until they become a multitude, gaining 
gradually an entire contiol over you. And re- 
member, that as your bad habits increase in nuni- 



300 



THE HABITS. 



ber, they also increase in strength and depravity, 
until they finally plunge their victim into the 
depths of wretchedness. You should, hence, be 
extremely cautious not to acquire even one habit 
that is of a demoralizing or injurious character; 
for you can resist the encroachments of one, with 
far greater success, than to delay until it is rein- 
forced by a multitude. Strike down the first of 
these foes, however feeble it may appear, and then 
you may be able to resist the host in its rear ; but 
admit a few of the vanguard, and they will exert 
themselves to bind your higher powers, and intro- 
duce all their evil companions. 

Allow me to direct your attention to a few of 
the habits indispensably necessary to the pros- 
perity of young ladies. 

Industry. -^The benefits of industry are mani- 
fold. You were made for industrious activity. 
This is evident from the construction of your bo- 
dies. For what purpose were joints, and sinews, 
and muscles, given to you, but for exercise ? By 
a proper use of them, you will secure health and 
its enjoyments ; but if you allow them to remain 
almost wholly inactive, the consequences will be 
painful diseases and early decay. Every thing in 
nature's works exhibits industry. The earth ne- 
ver wearies in its diurnal and annual revolutions ; 
the rapid wind, the falling rain, the rushing rivu- 
let, the billowy ocean, all exhibit ceaseless indus- 
try. And animals of every species, display an 



THE HABITS. 301 

activity in accordance with their construction and 
wants. Even the vegetable kingdom is filled with 
industry — 

" See dying vegetables life sustain, 
See life dissolving, vegetate again ; 
All forms that perish, other forms supply." 

By what rule is the human race exempted from 
sharing in this universal rndustry ? Those who 
look upon occupation and labor as evils, are evi- 
dently ignorant of their own construction and na- 
ture. A slight acquaintance with the principles 
of physiology, will instruct you, that without 
bodily exercise, you can not experience the high 
blessing of health. If you arrest the course of 
the pure gushing stream, and cause its waters to 
stagnate, how soon it becomes filmy and nau- 
seous — a green slime gathers on its surface, and 
noxious insects breed in its bosom ! And thus it 
is with the human body. Let it remain inactive 
and dormant — let its muscles and sinews be but 
seldom and slightly exercised — cramp and cir- 
cumscribe its powers and energies, and debility 
and sickness ere long ensue. This is, evidently, 
the reason why so many people of wealth (espe- 
cially females) are afflicted with lingering diseases. 
Looking upon industrious occupation as degrad- 
ing and unnecessary, they Indulge in slothful and 
misnamed ease; and when the bitter effect of 
their folly comes upon them — when the pamper- 
ed body is filled with disease and pain, they per- 



302 The habits. 

haps murmur at tlie decrees of Providence. But 
the blame can not be attached to Providence. 
The Creator formed the human race with capa- 
bihties of great enjoyment ; and if they fail pro- 
perly to exercise these capacities, the deficiency 
in their pleasure will be of their own procuring. 
And it is in vain to resort to nostrums to build 
up an artificial health. Having been lost by lux- 
ury and slothfulness, health can not be regained 
but by temperance and an industrious employ- 
ment. 

It is peculiarly necessary that young women 
should have much exercise. It developes their 
frames, strengthens their constitutions, and gives 
the freshness of health lo all their bodily organs, 
and the glow of beauty to their countenances. 
It is a lack of industrious occupation, that gives 
paleness to the features, and brings disease and 
early dissolution to the bodies of so many females. 
There is no trait in a young lady more useful and 
admirable, than industry. It is a high recom- 
mendation to the favor of those whose approba- 
tion is desirable. But how reprehensible, how 
repulsive and disgusting, is indolence in a young 
woman. She who loiters away her time over a 
novel, or in idle gossip, while, perhaps, her aged 
mother is overloaded with the affairs of the house- 
hold, is marked by community. No one can 
respect or admire her. While she continues a 
slave to indolence, she is the most useless object 



THE itABITS. 303 

oh earth ! Utterly incapable of usefulness, or of 
conferring any valuable benefit upon her fellow- 
beings, she is a burthen to herself and to those 
with whom she is connected. 

If you would enjoy health and retain beauty — 
if you would secure esteem and affection- — if you 
would be useful to yourself and the world — you 
must be industrious. Let your circumstances be 
what they may, industry is inseparably connected 
with your happiness. You should acquire the 
habit of being constantly employed in some use- 
ful manner, and should frequently engage in those 
occupations which call into exercise your bodily 
strength and activity. A female writer remarks : 
" While the most delicate effects of the needle, 
rank high among accomplishments, its necessary 
departments aie not beneath the notice of the 
most refined young lady. To keep her own 
wardrobe perfectly in order, to pay just regard to 
economy and to the comfort of the poor, will in- 
duce her to obtain a knowledge of those inven- 
tions by which the various articles of apparel are 
repaired, modified, and renovated. True satis- 
faction and cheerfulness of spirits, are connected 
with these quiet and congenial pursuits. The 
generous pleasure of relieving a mother or a friend 
from the pressure of care, wiil sometimes induce 
young ladies to acquaint themselves with em- 
ployments which enable them, when the more 
complex duties of life devolve on them, to en- 



304 Till'; iiAiiiTHi 



]oy iiiid irnpnh llm dislif^hlH of .1 W(^II-onlored 
Iioiih;." 

" llruinn! Wliiit Iridy lovtiw ii i iiiiiy <l(iy 7 

Hlio lovt^n II Kiiiiy <hiy, wlui nw«ui|»« llm lioiirlll, 

Aixl IIii'oiiiIm IIki ItiiHy iioimUo, or iippliitM 

Tliii Hi'lMKorH (ii llio toMi or llirtMtil-lMiin fliicvtMi, 

Who IMiiMnon <i)o(l Itliil nUi^ iliin rriiMitln iiixl lioitllii 

Who ill ilio (MiliJiiK of Ihi) utonti will ihiiik 
or Noino poor iiolKhhoi' thai. kIki ciiii ImIVIi'IkI | 
Wilt) IrldiH llio liiin|i III nielli, uiiil rimilN iiloiid 
'r<iayoiiiif< Itrollur, IiiIom ho Iovon tuliniir; 
Hiiiih itro not, Kitil (tviwiuiia ritiiiy tiny." 

i{icono'ifi'if is niiollitr li:iliil tli:it }'<)mi^ liidina 
sImhiM (-llIl(iv:ll(^ Alllitiii^'li yiui iii:iy not n^ali/.c 
lil(! iiiiporliiiKM; ol lliiH Iciliif H(» MoiMJIily ill your 
pi'OHiMit (-oiidifioii, yd t-ic loii;', ytiii iii:iy Ix^ in 
oircmnsiiiiiccM wluro it will bo liifj;lily nociiSHai'y. 
Ill till' iiiiiii riii'M^ Hialc, llio hikmmvmm aiitj proMprrifv 
til tlit^ liiisliaiol, (l(^p<;ii<l, ill no Miiiall (Jcji^roc;, upon 
tlic rcoMoiny o( liio wife. If nHo iH pnujciiit and 
OCOiioiiiiciil — i( MJif! intliiln;oH in no nnnoc.CHMary 
disiplay ami oxpoiis* — lll(^il• iiniicd oH'oits can 
iiai'dly fail ol' ai-i|niriii<i; a ('tMiipi'toiiry, if not U 
ibl'tdiM'. I .III i( slio in carflrsM ami indilVrrcni — 
if hIio .s(juamlfi-s in listless rnit-iy and coHtly ar- 
ray, tlio (mils o( Iki luisIcMKrs oxoilions — Iiis 
rdoils ^vill Iki in vain — Iiin (MKMi^ics will lio para- 
ly/,('tl — and disapptiindiK^nt and povorly will al- 
inosl <-(Mlainly l)t> llm iVnit ol Ik^- (oolisli hiind- 
liOHM. Mow iiiaiiy fainilirH liavo hiM>n rcdiKuul 
IVoin a(llii(iiMM> lo llm doptlis oC poverty, entirely 
throiigli lack ol euMMioitiy intlmiwifo!. 



i 



•riiK IIAI5ITS. 305 

Kconomy, in n ^roal <l()gioo, ih a liahi) ; and 
like ()(h(^r liahits, it muHl; l)o accjuinMl. It is 
i)\(urA'(ur ri(»c,<vsHary, lii^lil)' so, ihal. ladic^H hIiouIiI 
ac(|uir<! this habit vvhil(! younj^, if fhoy vvoiiM 
rrap ilH bctiofilH iti M'U^f liCr. You should Hludy 
<;(;onouiy in all your oxprMidilunvs, how(!VCr tri- 
Min^, and in all your doirmslic ad'aits. You will 
th(iM readily a(;<|uir(? a hahil wITu-h will rtu-orn- 
iri(;iid you lo tli<! pnuhstil and worthy, ujid which 
can not fail of enhancing!; your future prosperity. 
I5av the fiurialc spc^ndthrift is a« odiouH as the 
mah;. She is ac(|uirin<^ hahits wfiich will cause 
the discreet to avoid any connection with her, 
and the fruits of which may be poverty, want, and 
distress. 

It is hardly necessary to say, (liat liahits of 
nralnesfi are inflisixinsahh! to th(5 younju; lady. It 
is iinpossiMc to deserihe' the (Jisai-ri «>al)l(! appear- 
ance of a slov<!rdy woman ! lOven lii^li virtues 
can not pr(;vent that nauseatin^^ disf^njst, which a 
want of neatness invariahly creat(!H. Kvery young 
lafly should cultival.<^ a /mA/V, of nealness iti h<!r 
appearance. You can not he too parliculai in 
(his r(^si)ecl. In every j)roper conditi«)n and oc- 
cui)ation, you can present a neatn<;ss highly com- 
tnondahle and attract ivr;. If you woiild not drive 
from your i)res(!nce, with no strong desire to re- 
turn, th(5HC whose este<!m you dchirc to H<u/ure, 
avoid carefully all approach lo HlovcnIin(;ss — it 

dirnn all other qualificationB. 
20 



306 THE HABITS. 

Gossiping is a habit to be avoided. This is: 
said to be pecuharly a defect of females. I ain 
not prepared to subscribe fully to this sentiment. 
While I have known many women who are not 
addicted to this practice, I have at the same time 
been acquainted with numbers of the other sex, 
to whom it might justly be charged. If women 
exhibit a disposition to converse upon trifling 
matters, and in disparagement of others, to a 
greater degree than men, it should be attributed 
rather to a volatile disposition and their peculiar 
condition in society, than to a defect in sense, or 
to a fault-finding disposition. This defect, how- 
ever, it must be acknowledged, is often carried to 
extremes in females. There are those who seem 
especially to delight in conveying frivolous re- 
ports throughout the neighborhood, and in con- 
versing with great earnestness in regard to them ; 
and they are particularly cautious that the sub- 
jects of iheir communications shall not lack for em- 
bellishments, while in their hands. Such peo- 
ple are not generally notorious for exercismg 
much care in selecting their topics, or in ascer- 
taining the truth of the reports which are inju- 
rious to those to whom they relate. To talk, 
seems to be their great desire ; and it matters lit- 
tle to them, what the subject is, so long as they 
find food for their volubility. Steele, the old 
English writer, remarks : " The truth is, the in- 
quisitive [and the same may be said of gossipers] 



1 



•THE HABITS » 307 

Me the funnels of conversation ; they do not take 
in any thing for their own use, but merely to pass 
it to another : they are the channels through 
which all the good and evil that is spoken in 
town, are conveyed." 

This unfortunate practice of gossiping, is, to a 
great degree, a habit, and like other habits, is ac- 
quired ; and when once ic is fastened upon you, 
it will be difficult to divest yourself of its influ- 
ence. Young ladies should endeavor to rise 
above this low and puerile practice, and should 
exert themselves to avoid it entirely. There are 
a few suggestions which, if properly adhered to, 
will have a tendency to preserve you from its de- 
grading power. In the first place, be not too in- 
quisitive in regard to the affairs of your neigh- 
bors, or those with whom you mingle. " Mind 
your own business," is a motto worthy of being 
engraved upon the door of every dwelling. Be 
attentive to your own affairs, and never allow idle 
curiosity to urge you to intermeddle with that in 
which you are not directly interested. The old 
maxim is eminently true — "Let every individual 
sweep before their own door, and there will be a 
clean street." In the next place, never attribute 
a wrong act to any individual, without the most 
ample proof that the implicated is guilty. Sur^ 
mises are no proper foundation for evil reports 
against your neighbor ; and you should never 
give publicity to rumors founded solely upon the 



308 THE HABITUS. 

" guess-work" of some evil-minded busy-body. 
When you are fully satisfied that your neighbor 
has been guilty of misconduct, consider, before 
you retail it to the world, whether any benefit can 
accrue in pursuing this course, either to yourself, 
to the community at large, or to the individual 
guilty. If good can not in this manner be made 
to fliow to either party, then remain silent ; for no 
principle would justify you, under these circum- 
stances, in spreading the faults of your fellow-be- 
ings before a gainsaying world ! And, lastly, 
when you. do feel called upon to speak of their 
aberrations, be extremely cautious that you do 
not amplify and enlarge them. Speak the sim- 
ple truth, and "nought extenuate, and nought 
set down in malice." 

Guard against indulging in anger. A peevish 
disposition is exceedingly unpleasant in ladies. 
It is undoubtedly true, that some are constitution- 
ally more irritable than others ; yet the visible 
outbreakings of anger, depend much upon habit. 
If you allow every trifling circumstance that does 
not coincide with your wishes, to irritate you into 
ill temper, you will not only be irrascible for the 
moment, but in this manner a confirmed habit of 
peevishness will grow upon you, which you will 
find it difficult to control, even in circumstances 
where it would be extremely desirable to do so. 
I need only invite the young lady to contemplate 
her countenance in the mirror, when she is in an- 



THE HABITS. 309 

ger, or indulges in sour, morose feelings, to sat- 
isfy her how much to her disadvantage are these 
emotions, in addition to the actual pain which they 
invariably bring upon her. To avoid a habit of 
petulence, you should school your feelings into 
self-control, and not allow small disappointments 
to destroy the equilibrium of your mind. Culti- 
vate social, benevolent, and friendly feelings, and 
a forgiving spirit. While these emotions pervade 
and control the mind, peevishness, ill temper, and 
moroseness, with all their unhappy effects, will be 
entirely banished. 

Finally, watch closely the habits that are set- 
tling upon you. Allow and cultivate none that 
will not have an influence to make you virtuous, 
amiable, respected, and useful to yourself and to 
your fellow-beings. Whatever exercises a con- 
trary tendency, should be avoided as subversive of 
your character and happiness. 



'1' 



Chapter vl. 

DOMESTIC DUTIES. 

Home is woman's proper sphere and empire, 
it is the scene for the display of her excellences 
and her worthiness. Does woman desire to be 
useful ? — where can she be more useful than at 
home 1 Would she be respected ? — how more 
so, than in faithfully discharging her domestic 
duties ? Would she display her accomplishments, 
and substantiate her claims upon the confidence 
and affection of man ? — ^in what sphere can she 
more perfectly reveal her valuable characteristics, 
than at home ? Would she be happy ? — where 
can she seek the pure happiness of the heart, if it 
is not to be found at home 1 Home is the foun- 
tain of woman's enjoyments, and the common cen- 
tre around which should cluster her sweetest 
hopes and anticipations ! There she can shine 
and excel — there she can instruct and purify those 
who are within the sphere of her influence. 
When woman neglects home, under the prompt- 
ings of ambition, to mingle, and shine, and excel, 
in other scenes and in other pursuits, she launch- 
es her frail bark upon a tempestuous ocean^ 



©aMESTIC DUTIES. 311 

where the dangers of shipwreck and ruin are scat- 
tered around on every hand. 

Home being the natural and proper field of 
woman's duties, how important, how necessary, 
that she should become acquainted, to a goodde- 
giee, with the character and demands of these 
duties. Under the sanctions of the marriage 
covenant, home is the scene over which most of 
the young 'ladies whom I address, will ere long 
be called to preside. This change in your cir- 
cumstances, you have undoubtedly anticipated. 
But have you reflected deeply and seriously upon 
its nature ? — have you meditated upon the varied 
^responsibilities which will rest upon you, in direct- 
ing the interna] interests of the family circle ? It 
is to be feared, that too many expecting soon to 
become wives, are sadly deficient in a knowledge 
of those home duties, upon a faithful discharge 
of which depend, in so great a degree, the enjoy- 
ments of the domestic fireside. They can twang 
a guitar, drum upon the piano, and glide with 
gracefulness through the mazes of the giddy 
waltz— but of what avail are these accomplish- 
ments, in discharging those important trusts 
which devolve upon the mistress of the house- 
hold, the wife and the mother ? 

" There are in the United States, one hundred 
thousand young ladies, as Sir Ralph Abercrom- 
bie said of those of Scotland, * the prettiest lassies 
in «' the worlds'' who neither know how to toil nor 



312 DOMESTIC DUTIES* 

spin, who are yet clothed like the lilies of the val- 
ley — who thrum the piano, and a few of the more 
dainty, the harp — who walk, as the Bible says, 
softly, lest brisker movements might snap tapes 
drawn to their utmost tension — who have read 
romances, and some of them seen the interior of 
theatres — ^who have been admired at the examina- 
tion of their high schools — v/ho have wrought al- 
gebraic solutions on the black-board — who have 
shown themselves no mean proficients in the ca- 
suistry of Paley — who are, in short, the very roses 
of the garden, the attar of life — who yet, horresco 
referens, can never expect to be married ; or, if mar- 
ried, cannot expect to live without — shall I speak, 
or forbear ? — putting their own lily hands to do- 
ynestic drudgery ! We go into the interior villages 
of our recent wooden country. The fair one sits 
down to clink the wires of the piano. We see the 
fingers displayed on the keys, which, we are sure, 
never piepared a dinner,or made a garment for their 
robustious brothers We need not enter in per- 
son. Imagination sees the fair, erect on her 
music stool, laced, and pinioned, and bishop- 
sleeved, and deformed with hair torn from other's 
scalps, and reduced to a questionable class of en- 
tomology, secundo more, dinging, as Sawney would 
say, at* the wires, as though she could, in some 
way, hammer out of them music, amusement, 
and a husband. Look at her taper and cream- 
colored fingers. Is she a utilitarian ? Ask the 



DOMESTIC DUTIES. 313 

fair one, when she has beaten all the music out 
of the keys, ' Pretty fair one, canst talk to thy 
old and sick father, so as to beguile him out of 
the headache and rheumatism? Canst write a 
good and straight-forward letter of business ? 
Thou wast a chemist, I remember, at the exami- 
nation — ^>canst compound, prepare, and afterwards 
boil or bake a good pudding ? Canst make one 
of the hundred subordinate ornaments of thy 
fair person ? In short, tell us thy use in exis- 
tence, except to be contemplated as a pretty pic- 
ture.' And how long will any one be amused 
with the view of a picture, after having surveyed 
it a dozen times, unless it have a mind, a heart, 
and we may emphatically add, the perennial value 
of utility ?......! have no conception of a beauti- 
ful woman, or a fine man, in whose eye, in whose 
port, in whose whole expressio-n, this sentiment 
does not stand embodied — ' I am called by ray 
Creator to duties. I have employment on earth. 
My sterner but more enduring pleasures, are in 
discharging my duties.' Compare the sedate 
expression of this sentiment in the countenance 
of man or woman, when it is known to stand as 
the index of character, and the fact, with the me- 
retricious gaudiness of a simple, good-for-nothing 
belle, who disdains usefulness and employment — 
whose empire is a ball-room, and whose subjects, 
dandies as silly and as useless as herself. Who 
of the two, has most attractions for a man of 



511 DOMESTIC DUTIEB. 

sfense ? Parents of thought, and virtue, and 

example, are called upon to look to this evil. 
Instead of training your sons to waste their time, 
as idle young gentlemen at large — instead of in- 
culcating on your daughters, that the incessant 
tinkling of a harpsichord, or a scornful and lady- 
like toss of the head, or dexterity in waltzing, 
are the chief requisites to make their way in life ; 
if you can find no better employment for the one, 
teach him the use of the grubbing-hoe, and learn 
the other to make up garments for your ser- 
!vants."* 

This language is deserving of great weight. 
The enjoyment and prosperity of woman, and 
those connected with her, depend much more 
upon her skill in domestic affairs, than many 
young ladies seem to imagine. And yoting men 
of sense and discretion, view this qualification as 
by no means a trifling one. Tiiey will take mea- 
sures to ascertain the amount of domestic know- 
ledge possessed by ladies, before they choose 
them for wives. They will not select " a painted 
butterfly, fit only for the sunny days of prosperi- 
ty," but fading into ill-tempered termagants v/hen 
adversities come, unfit for any of the useful du- 
ties of life. But more wisely, they will choose 
her who will become a help-mate indeed — one 
who can smile in adversity as well as in prosperi- 

^Western Monthly Review. 



IDOMESTIC DUTIES. 315 

ty— one who can co-operate in retaining what is 
already possessed, or if misfortune overtake, who 
can assist in regaining what has been lost. The 
young man who possesses the characteristics that 
are calculated to make the woman of his choice 
happy through life, so far from being captivated, 
Is disgusted by those ladies who are 

•' Bred only and completed to the taste 
Of fretful appetence— to sing — to dance — 
To dress, and to troll the tongue, and roll the eye- 
Yet empty of all good wherein consists 
Woman's domestic honor and chief grace." 

It requires but a slight glance into the affairs 
;of community, to discover instances where the 
ignorance of the wife in domestic duties, has been 
one fruitful cause of involving the husband in 
bankruptcy. " A gay young person of nineteen, 
who had married a respectable tradesman, soon 
after she left a boarding-school, had a young 
friend in similar circumstances, who was lament- 
ing their mutual ignorance, and expressing her 
fears that they should be unable, little as they 
knew of domestic management, to acquit them- 
selves well in their new situations. ' Bear me,' 
was the reply, ' I do not trouble my head about 
that ; the maids will do these things.' It is al- 
most superfluous to record the sequel. Her hus- 
band was a bankrupt in two years ! So well had 
the maids managed for her !" How many cases 
of this description are constantly occurring ! 



316 DOMESTIC DUTIES. 

Young ladies can not expect to be placed in 
any circumstances in this republic, which will 
justify them in remaining in ignorance of domes- 
tic duties. Suppose you are v/ealthy, and are 
confident you will continue so in the marriage 
state, still it is very important that you should be 
well skilled in domestic affairs. Without this 
knowledge, how entirely incompetent are you to 
preside over the affairs of a household. The im- 
positions, inconveniences, and vexations, under 
which you would labor, on account of your igno- 
rance, can easily be conceived. I do not pretend 
that every wife should herself engage in all the 
household transactions ; although industrious 
exercise in domestic occupations, can not fail to 
benefit the health. The amount and character of 
her labors, should be in accordance with her con- 
dition and tastes. But I insist that every wife, 
however affluent hei: circumstances, should be 
well versed in domestic duties— should know how 
they ought to he discharged ! In every house- 
hold there must be some head, to direct its ex- 
pences and superintend the whole economy of its 
domestic transactions. If the wife is capable of 
this station, and if she is sufficiently interested in 
the affairs of her husband, to be zealous in the 
discharge of its duties, every thing will be con- 
ducted in a proper manner. She will see that 
there is no extravagance, no unnecessary waste, 
and that every thing is done in the proper time 



DOMESTIC DUTIES. 317 

and manner. And her reward for this devotion 
to the interests of her family, will be, not only 
a saving in a pecuniary point of view, but a com- 
fort, a satisfaction, an enjoyment, that can not be 
obtained in any other manner. But if the mis- 
tress of the household is ignorant of domestic af- 
fairs, or indifferent in regard to the manner in 
which they are discharged by others, she must 
trust all to domestics, who have no interest at 
stake. And when domestics perceive that the 
mistress is ignorant or regardless of the internal 
interests of the family, and that they are left to 
their own management, they are exceedingly lia- 
ble to relapse into wasteful and indolent habits, 
and order, economy, neatness, and comfort, will 
flee the devoted dwelling, to make room for con- 
fusion, prodigality, sloth, bankruptcy, and wretch- 
edness. 

These remarks have been made upon the sup- 
position that you will be surrounded by the ad- 
vantages of a fortune. But are you quite sure 
that you will marry wealthy ? Or, if so, are you 
fully assured thac you will continue in affluent 
circumstances through life ? The former may 
be considered doubtful, and the latter is doubly 
uncertain. How many who have entered the 
marriage state with fair prospects of continued 
wealth and prosperity, have, in a few years, and 
even in a few months, been reduced to poverty 
and want ! Were this to be your fate — and it is 



318 DOMESTIC DUTIES. 

quite probable it will be experienced by some who 
peruse these lines — how much your misfortune 
would be increased by an ignorance of domestic 
duties. The convfort of your husband and family 
depending, in a great degree, upon your domes- 
tic exertions, and yet you entirely incapable of 
performing even the most common and necessary 
operations ! The husband would soon learn with 
sorrow, that although in affluence you might have 
been an agreeable companion, yet in adversity, 
when it became necessary for you to discharge 
the real duties of a wife and mother, you are 
most wretchedly deficient and useless. 

It can not be necessary to urge this subject to 
a greater extent. Every young lady possessing 
a moiety of discernment, must perceive the pro- 
priety of qualifying herself to discharge, faithfully 
and efficiently, all the duties that will hereafter 
devolve upon her. Domestic economy is as 
strictly a branch of female education, as any other 
study, and the best method of acquiring knoAv- 
ledge upon this subject, is by actual experience ! 
You may become familiar with the theory of 
housewifery, but without practice, it will be of 
little avail. " When you actually put your hand 
to the work, you will begin to learn ; but unless 
you put your hand to it frequently, and learn to 
think it no dishonor to engage in any thing apper- 
taining to the economy of a family, you can never 
expect to become an accomplished housekeeper." 



fioarEstic DUTIES. 319 

f*arents should be peculiarly attecrtive to this 
subject. The mother very much mistakes the 
interest of her daughters — yea, she sins against 
that interest, and violates the maternal obliga- 
tions—in allowiug them to remain in ignorance of 
domestic duties. She should see that they are 
well skilled and perfected in these matters — for 
until they are so, they are unprepared for the 
matrimonial state. She should cause her daugh- 
ters to become acquainted with the kitchen and 
its affairs. The kitchen can be made as respecta- 
ble as the parlor, and much more useful. The 
hum of domestic industry, is a music as proper to 
be made by young ladies, as that from the piano — 
aiad it is far more valuable and healthful. I can 
not conceive why it is not as proper, as respecta- 
ble, as genteel, for the daughter to engage habit- 
ually and industriously in the domestic affairs of 
the household, as for the son to enter the me- 
chanic's shop, or tend behind the counter, or en- 
gage in the study of law, medicine, or divinity. 
Each are but preparing themselves for the dis- 
charge of those duties which, in after life, 
will devolve upon them. And the parents who 
neglect to qualify their daughters for those affairs 
in which they must hereafter engage or superin- 
tend, are as deficient in duty as those who fail to 
give their sons useful occupations. 

Let it, then, be your aim, young ladies, to be- 
come proficient and expert, by practice, in all the 



320 DOMESTIC DUTIES. 



I 



domestic duties of a household. You will thus 
profitably employ your minds, minister to the 
health of your bodies, and become competent of 
making yourselves useful,, as well as agreeable, 
to those with whom you may hereafter be con- 
nected. 



CHAPTER VII. 

DRESS. 

It would appear from the admonitions of the 
Apostles Paul and Peter,* that the ladies, in their 
day, were in the habit of arraying and ornament- 
ing their persons, in a manner which these teach- 
ers deemed rather indecorous. As the precau- 
tions of the apostles, upon this subject, were not 
extended to men, it is supposed that females in 
ancient times, were more given to excess in dress, 
than the other sex. And it is sometimes thought 
that these distinctive characteristics of the sexes, 
continue to the present day. Without pretend- 
ing to decide upon this point, I must be permitted 
to say, that the time, attention, and expense, be- 
stowed on dress, by many females, gives no incon- 
siderable strength to the above supposition. But 
allowing it to be true, that females are more in- 
clined to excess in dress than men, the cause I 
suppose to exist, not so much in any greater de- 
gree of inherent vanity or love of display, as in 
the disparity in their condition and occupations. 

^1 Tim. ii : 9 ; 1 Pet. iii : 3, 4. 
21 



322 DRESS. 

Men are engaged, the greater proportion of the 
time, in the business transactions, the stirring 
scenes of public life ; and their minds being thus 
absoibed, are not so liable to give much impor- 
tance to the trivial subject of dress. But females, 
being debarred, to a great extent, by the usages 
of society, from participating in those busy affairs 
that are of a public character, are thrown upon 
the immediate resources of the imagination, to 
supply this deficiency. And, moreover, believing 
their prosperity depends much upon their exterior 
appearance, they have been compelled, as it were, 
to allow dress to form an important item in their 
occupation and their thoughts. 

That due attention should be given to dress by 
females, and that, in this manner, by a j adicious 
display of correct taste, they can improve their 
appearance and personal attractions, is indisputa- 
bly true. But ladies should know, if they are 
not already aware of it, that there is such a thing 
as intemperance in dress ! — that, like every other 
blessing of Providence, when dress is indulged in 
to excess, when the love of it degenerates into a 
passion, it becomes an evil, entailing misfortune 
and wretchedness. Excess is intemperance. And 
that ladies sometimes dress to excess, can not be 
doubted by those who are blessed with sight. 

Many evils arise from an excessive love of dress. 
It absorbs the mind to the neglect of useful avo- 
cations. Young ladies would do well to remem- 



DRESS. 323 

ber that they were not created solely to dress and 
adorn their persons. There are duties, ardent, 
responsible duties, which will devolve upon them 
in the several stations and relationships they will 
be called to occupy. To be enabled to discharge 
them faithfully, it is necessary that you should 
bestow much study, reflection, and forethought 
upon them. But how can this be done, when the 
attention is wholly absorbed by dress ? The 
young lady who is wholly intent on adorning her 
person, is very liable to neglect the more impor- 
tant work of cultivating the mind. It may be no- 
ticed, as a general rule, that such ladies think 
little, and care less, about mental improvement — 
so that while without, all may be dazzling and 
perfect, within there is nought but a moral and 
mental waste, where lurks many an insidious foe 
to happiness. 

An excessive love for dress, leads to extrava- 
gance in other respects. The lady who deems it 
an object of the highest importance to float upon 
the very crest of the ebbing and flowing tide of 
fashion in dress, will imagine it essentially neces- 
sary that an equal style should be observed in all 
that pertains to her. If she enters the marriage 
state, houses, and furniture, and equipage, must 
correspond with dress, and she plunges into need- 
less expenditures, which often end in ruin. How 
many who have started in life with the fairest 
prospects, have speedily been brought to bank- 



324 DRESS. 

ruptcy and poverty, by an inordinate love of dis- 
play ! 

An intemperate attachment to dress, is destruc- 
tive to health, as it invariably leads to a mode of 
dress, directly at war with the construction and 
wants of the human body. It is a fact no less 
shocking than true, that thousands of females in 
the United States, are annually hurried to an ear- 
ly grave, solely by those torturous improprie- 
ties in dress, which are dictated by fashion. Every 
well informed physician will bear witness to the 
correctness of this declaration. It is truly sur- 
prizing that young ladies, who possess the ordi- 
nary powers of reflection granted to rational be- 
ings, will deliberately persevere, in face of the 
startling, horrid array of facts before them, and 
contrary to the admonitions of the enlightened, 
the wise, aud the prudent, in dressing in such a 
manner as to undermine the most vigoroibs con- 
stitutions, induce painful diseases, and hasten 
premature death ! There is an infatuation in re- 
gard to this evil, that is wholly unacconntable.* 
If young ladies will not listen to the advice of 
friends, or the warning of physicians, I beg them 
to open an ear to that sepulchral voice which 
comes up from myriads of " the early dead," who 
have been consigned to the cold grave, by their 

''The reader can not mistake the evil to which I refer, 
viz., tight lacing. 



DRESS. 325 

miserable slavery to the cruelties of fashion ! 
The weekly bills of mortality throughout our 
country, display a record of the dissolution of 
multitudes of young and lovely beings, from dis- 
eases induced by improper dress, that should 
strike terror to those whose practice is biinging 
them to the same fate. It is melancholy to reflect 
how many who peruse these lines, will continue, 
for the sake of dressing themselves in conformity 
to the arbitrary laws of fashion, to brave the fright- 
ful catalogue of diseases, until death stares them 
in the face, and opens his icy arms to receive 
them in his embrace ! Allow me to ask the 
young lady whose eye is now resting here— are 
you one of this number ? I trust not. It would 
be too much like arraying yourself in bridal robes 
to go down to the company of the dead ! If you 
must injure your health — -if you must bring on 
death in the prime of life, I pray you do it in some 
good cause— in the cause of love, humanity, and 
duty — in a cause upon which you can look back 
with satisfaction, even in the struggles of death. 
Be entreated not to court the embraces of the 
" king of terrors," by a course s'o nearly suicidal 
as that which 1 am condemning ! Do I magnify 
the danger ? Ask your physician — ask the learn- 
ed physiologist— ask the dying — ask the dead ! 

Not the least surprizing thing in relation to this 
evil, is, that so many parents should look calmly 
on and behold their daughters committing this 



3»26 DRESS. 

self-murder, without taking any decisive measures 
to prevent — yea, perhaps approving of it. Mothers 
often exhibit an ignorance, a carelessness, a fatui- 
ty, in this respect, that excites the astonishment 
and sorrow of the reflecting. They have a duty 
to discharge^ regarding the dress of their daugh- 
ters, which they can not neglect without incur- 
ring deep guilt. How many mothers, when ix is 
too late, when insidious disease is laying its pal- 
sying hand upon the life-springs of beloved daugh- 
ters, would sacrifice the wealth of the Indies, 
could they but recall them to the days of child- 
hood, and restore that health which has been de- 
stroyed by their infatuated blindness ! 

An inordinate love of dress, involves its victims 
in a servile bondage to the caprice of others. For 
whom do they dress ? — for whom do they expend 
time and money, and invite the approach of pov- 
erty and disease ? Not for themselves, surely — 
for when they are in retirement, all finery is laid 
aside.* No — they dress for others alone — for the 
public gaze — for the eyes of the multitude. They 
appear to feel bound by the most imperious ne- 

*rt would be well for young men to know, that not a 
few of those ladies who run to the greatest excess in their 
dress for public show, are the most slatternly and careless 
when in seclusion. To test the correctness of this re- 
mark, call upon them in some hour when they do not 
expect company, and a moment's contemplation will 
show, that display, and not neatness, is their ruling pas- 
sion. 



DRESS. 227 

cessity, to sacrifice ease and comfort, and exert 
all their art to attract the attention of the throng. 
And in the fulfilment of this supposed obligation, 
they will exhibit an assiduity, a perseverance, 
which is unfoitunately wanting in the discharge 
of all the worthy and useful duties of life ! Is not 
this a state of dishonorable slavery to the whims 
of the thoughtless ? There is an anecdote so ap- 
propriate to this point, that I can not forbear re- 
lating it. " A priest of China sedulously followed 
a splendidly dressed mandarin through the streets, 
bowing and thanking him for his kindness. En^ 
raged at his pertinacity, the mandarin demanded 
what he meant 1 ' To thank you for the use of 
your rich dress and jewels,' was the calm reply, 
* Why,' said the astonished mandarin, ' I never 
loaned them to you.' ' No,' said the priest, ' but 
you have allowed me to look at them, which is all 
the enjoyment you can derive from them, except, 
perhaps, the pleasure of taking care of them, and 
that is a pleasure I do not covet.' " 

"But should we not follow the fashions of the 
day," exclaims the fair reader. Most certainly, 
so far as those fashions comport with good taste, 
modesty, economy, and health. But when they 
yiolate either of these requisites to female attrac- 
tions and usefulness, they should be rejected as 
decidedly as other practices of an immoral and 
unhealthful character ! What is fashion in dress, 
and whence does it emanate !? It is the yitiated 



3?28 DRESS. 

taste of a few of the unprincipled dress-makers 
in France, who give it all its fluctuations and ex- 
travagance, solely to fill their cofters. Are Ame- 
rican ladies generally aware, that in this respect 
they have, to a great extent, become the dupes of 
Parisian dress-makers and milliners ? The prints 
and patterns which they despatch to this country, 
are not copied from the dress of ladies of high 
standing and good taste. They are devised by 
French raantua-makers, and sent to America for 
the purpose of keeping open here a market for 
their second-hand laces and cast-off tawdry. — 
These assertions are perfectly well founded. Mrs. 
Willard, a celebrated American lady, who travel- 
led a few years since in France, describing in her 
Foreign Journal, a well dressed French woman, 
who was ridiculing the " prints" prepared to be 
sent to this country, exclaims, " A thought struck 
me at that moment, which made me half weep. 
These figures, said 1 to myself, thus ridiculed by 
those who understand dress in perfection — by 
which the very milliners of Paris, who send them 
abroad, would not, for the sake of good taste, 
(modesty out of the question,) dress themselves — 
these are the very patterns by which my young 
and lovely countrywomen are making themselves 
up — the idols to which they sometimes sacrifice 
decency and propriety !" It is earnestly hoped 
that this deeply humiliating statement will have 
an influence to dampen the ardor of many of our 



DRESS. 329 

ladies, in servilely imitating those foreign prints, 
with which our fashionable emporiums abound. 
Could those young ladies Avho imitate every 
extravagance in fashion, but be avs^arehow ridicu- 
lous and repulsive they frequently make them- 
selves appear to the eyes of those persons whose 
regard they would win, how differently would they 
conduct. 

" O wad some power the giftie gie us, 
To see oursels as others see us, 
/ It wad frae moriie a blunder free us, 

And foolish notion." 

The most abandoned of the female sex, can and 
do flaunt in attire as gay and fashionable, as the 
respectable. Hence, young ladies can not be too 
often reminded, that dress is a worthless founda- 
tion upon which to base their claims to the respect 
and affection of gentlemen. Who, in these days, 
ever thinks of judging of the character of a lady 
by the fashion of hei habiliments? It v/ould be 
as uncertain a criterion as the color of her eye, or 
the height of her stature. By thiscriterion, the 
virtuous and the vicious can not be distinguished ; 
and if there was no other badge of excellency, all 
would be upon the same level ! Discreet and 
sensible young men never fall in love with dress — 
it has little or no influence in guiding their affec- 
tions. They do not look to the outward attire — 
which alike covers the good and the evil— to dis- 
cover the excellences of a lady, but to the intrin- 
sic moral and intellectual worth of the wearer. 



330 DRESS. 

A well cultivated mind, a sweet, gentle disposi- 
tion, with a plain, simple garb, possess far more 
powerful attractions, than an ignorant mind and a 
perverse disposition, arrayed in all the finery that 
ever was invented by that most fertile in expedi- 
ents of all human soils, the imagination of a dress- 
maker. Never, therefore, dress with the expee-p 
tationof being esteemed by community, or loved 
by any, on account of the texture, shape, color, 
or expense of your attire. All anticipations of 
this character, can be entertained but to end in 
disappointment and chagrin. 

I would, by no means, influence young ladies 
t'O be negligent or indifferent in regard to dress. 
I would have them bestow upon it all the atten^ 
tion it properly deserves. It is the excess., the in- 
temperance in dress, and a servile bondage to the 
caprices of fashion, against which I Avould caution 
you. And I again warn you that you can not be 
too particular in so dressing as not to injure 
health. You should remember that you have 
lungs, and that to insure health, the chest must 
be permitted to expand without opposition, that 
the lungs may have free and full play. If you 
dress in such manner as to prevent the expansion 
of the chest and the full inflation of the lungs, 
unavoidable disease ensues, and early death fol- 
lows. Mothers should understand these facts, 
and should bear them in mind when superintend- 
ing the attiring of their daughters. 



DRESS. 331 

Let your dress always comport with neatness, 
propriety, and economy. Never swerve from the 
dictates of these standards. Neatness will prevent 
you from arraying yourself in gewgaws and tinsel, 
and running after all the absurdities of fashion, 
and will dictate an adaptation of dress to you-r 
form, complexion, age, and circumstances. It 
will allow of no extremes, either in extravagance 
or oddity. It will teach those who are fair, that 
"beauty unadorned, is adorned the most," and 
those who are plain, that simplicity will add far 
more to thei*- attractions, than gaudy trappings. 
Dr. Johnson once remarked, that a certain lady 
was dressed the best of any he had ever seen ; for 
but a moment after having conversed with her, he 
could not recollect what she had on. That is, 
she had nothing odd, vain, or tinbecoraing in her 
attire. Propriety will forbid dressing in t?.ny man- 
ner that will violate that modesty which is the 
charm of your sex, or following any fashion that 
will undermine your constitution, or in the least 
degree injure your health. Economy will dictate 
the necessity of always dressing within your 
means ; and it will also show you the impropriety 
and deep folly of involving yourself, or any with 
whom you are connected, in debt, to array your 
body in useless and silly finery ! 



CHAPTER VIII. 

RECREATIONS. 

Many of the remarks addressed to young men, 
in regard to amusements, will also apply to la- 
dies — especially in respect to the excess into 
which human nature is liable to run. We love 
whatever is pleasing. This love induces a con- 
tinuance in those recreations which afford plea- 
sure ; and unless the reason is allowed to exer- 
cise due control, those practices will be persevered 
in, until they become sources of pain instead of 
happiness.- It is highly important that young la- 
dies should possess true views of the nature and 
design of the recreations proper for them ; as an 
ignorance or want of precaution on this point, has 
been a fruitful source of degradation and ruin to 
countless multitudes of their sex. 

What is recreation ? It is not slumber, or stu- 
por, or idleness ; but it is simply a change of em- 
ployment ! Recreation to the student, is to go 
out to exercise in the open air. But to the man 
whose body calls for much bodily exercise, it is ' 
a recreation to enter the student's library and 



RECREATIONS. 333 

peruse his books. The young lady who engages 
constantly in needle-work, or any sedentary em- 
ployment, to find recreation, must enter upon 
some active occupation ; but she who is habitually 
employed in the stirring duties of domestic life, 
will find equal amusement in occasionally plying 
the industrious needle. The design of recreation 
is, by a change of posture and employment, to 
call into exercise portions of the body, and facul- 
ties of the mind, that were in repose, and to give 
rest to those that were active — health and vigor 
are the fruits of this change. When the brain of 
the scholar becomes weary, he should relmquish 
his mental struggle, and call into action the mus- 
cular powers of his body. But when the body of 
the laborer is exhausted with toil, he should rest 
from his toil, and call his mental faculties into 
labor, by reading or instructive conversation. 
Both will experience enjoyment, and be benefited 
by the change. But mark and remember, it is the 
change only that causes the enjoyment. When 
recreation of any character, is continued beyond 
a certain degree or duration, plainly indicated by 
reason, its nature changes, and it becomes a labor ^ 
instead of an amusement. This is a plain hint 
from nature, that all recreations in order to be 
valuable and beneficial, must be engaged in mo- 
derately and temperately. And I will here repeat, 
that to enjoy any amusement, young people must 
prepare themselves for it, by previous industry 



334 RECREATIONS. 

and deprivation, of a charactei different from the 
recreation to be engaged in. 

From these remarks, it will be perceived that 
the gratification of the passions, is not the entire 
design and end of recreation. The healthy state 
both of body and mind, depend upon proper re- 
laxations and changes. Nature is rigid in her 
exactions in this respect ; and whoever violates 
them, must suffer that penalty of pain and disease 
which she affixes. Moderate and judicious re- 
creation, therefore, is not only proper, but is a 
duty which must be discharged, to insure health. 
But still there is danger, in a greater or lesser de- 
gree, always attending amusements. It is evident 
that many practices called recreations, are not 
such, properly speaking. Some of those prac- 
tices are plainly sinful, and should, consequently, 
be strictly avoided. Others are wrong, because 
they produce more injury than benefit — and others 
still, are dangerous, because although, perhaps, 
innocent in themselves, their tendency is to induce 
that excess which is evil. Permit me to cite your 
attention to a few of the most dangerous of those 
practices to which young ladies frequently resort 
for recreation. 

Dancing is one of the most fascinating amuse- 
ments of youth. It may be called nature's recrea- 
tion. The various species of beasts in the full 
tide of their happiness, gambol over the plain, and 
throw their bodies into fantastic shapes. Dancing 



RECREATIONS. 333 

is a recreation resorted to by all nations. From 
the most polished circles of civilization, down to 
the wigwam of the savage, it exerts its " witching 
sway." In ancient days, and still among various 
nations of modern ages^ dancing was, and is, one 
of the amusements, in times of exultation and re- 
joicing. The Saviour mentions, that when the 
Prodigal Son returned, there was music and 
dancing. National dances were formerly engaged 
in, when celebrating important victories. When 
the Israelites had crossed the Red Sea in safety, 
we read that " Miriam the prophetess, the sister 
of Aaron, took a timbrel in her hand ; and all the 
women went out after her, with timbrels and 
dances." When Saul and David were retiirning 
from the slaughter of the Philistines, "the wo- 
men came out of all the cities of Israel, singing 
and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tabrets, 
with joy, and Avith instruments of music." Dan- 
cing was also a religious ceremony of rejoicing; 
When the Ark of the Lord was brought up to 
Jerusalem, David danced before it as it proceeded 
" with sound of the cornet, and with trumpets, 
and with cymbals, making a noise with psalteries 
and harps." In modern times, a portion of the 
Eastern Dervishes, and a sect of Friends, called 
'* Shakers," make dancing a part of their religious 
exercises. 

That dancing, when cultivated as an exercise, is 
proper and healthful, is undeniable. Such an 



336 RECREATIONS. 

exercise for females especially, whose habits are 
usually sedentary, must be of a salutary charac- 
ter. But still, danciijg has become the source of 
great evil. As it is conducted in our own times, 
it usually causes much more injury than benefit. 
The intoxicating beverage usually drank — the 
unhealthy viands usually partaken of — the impro- 
per manner of dressing, which so confines the 
lungs, that when they require the most play, they 
have the least— the late hours, the over fatigue, 
and the exposure to cold and damp — all combine 
to make modern dancing assemblies the prolific 
sources of dissipation and disease. Such convo- 
cations should be condemned most decidedly, by 
all who are interested in the welfare of the young. 
I would most earnestly caution young ladies 
against attending them, or giving them their 
countenance. They are not justified by Scrip- 
ture, reason, or experience. But dancing in pri- 
vate circles, in the presence of friends and rela- 
tives, engaged in temperately, with proper pre- 
cautions, I consider an appropriate and healthful 
recreation. It is the abuse of this exercise, 
against which I would warn you. The good 
sense of every discreet young lady, aided by the 
advice of parents ox guardians, will instruct her as 
to the proper time and occasion, when she should 
engage in this recreation. 

Card-playing is often engaged in by young la- 
dies. Although this practice may not be so dele- 



RECREATIONS. 337 

terious as dancing, under improper circumstances, 
still, young women can pass their time in some 
other manner, far more to their improvement, both 
in mind and manners. A lady at a card-table, 
always seems out of her proper place. There is 
something in its associations so masculine, so en- 
tirely opposed to womanly delicacy and propriety, 
that a female appears to step down from her appro- 
priate sphere, in engaging in game with cards. 

Referring you for further remarks on this sub- 
ject, to what I addressed to young men ; and also 
to what I there said on theatrical amusements^ 1 
merely add, that those remarks will apply, with 
more impressive force to the young lady ; inas- 
much as female character is more delicate in 
public estimation, and her sensibility more refin- 
ed in fact, than that of the gentleman. I there- 
fore reiterate here, with renewed earnestness, all 
the warnings and remonstrances I have there ut- 
tered. 

There are many recreations in which young la- 
dies can engage, that are both proper and benefi- 
cial. All amusement should, if possible, be made 
instructive, as well as healthful. Exercise in 
open air, when the weather is favorable, is highly 
beneficial to females. And a walk through the 
fields, can be made to instruct the mind, as well 
as invigorate the body. A slight acquaintance 
with the principles of botany and geology, will 
enable you to obtain much amusement and in- 
22 



338 RECREATIONS. 

struction, in examining the class and nature of 
plants and flowers, and the structure and compo- 
sition of soils, stones, and rocks. The young la- 
dies of this country, are generally very deficient 
in giving themselves exercise ; and in this res- 
pect are far behind those of some foreign coun- 
tries. " The English girls, it is well known, will 
walk five or six miles with ease. They are never 
afraid of the air. They do not reason as our girls 
do, that to be pretty and ''interesting," they 
must be livid, pale, and consumptive ; and in or- 
der to be so, exclude themselves from the open 
air, from walks and parks. But they reason na- 
turally, that health is beauty, and that sickness is 
otherwise. English girls, it is said, are almost 
the only girls who climb up the sides of the Alps, 
or struggle ancle deep, up the ashes of Mount 
Vesuvius." ''How often," says Miss Wakefield, 
"has an anxiety for the delicacy of the complex- 
ion, or the apprehension of her being a romp, re- 
strained a girl from the indulgence of enjoying 
with any one, exercise in a sufficient degree to 
secure her from that feeble, sickly, languid state, 
v/hich frequrcntly renders her not only capricious, 
but helpless throughout the whole of her life." 
"Let the utmost attention be paid to the physi- 
cal education of females, not simply to their diet, 
temperance, and cleanliness, but to the practice 
of bodily exercise. Let them have such physi- 
cal recreation as shall be consistent with their 



RfiCRfiATlONS. 339 

delicacy of sex, and as shall serve to procure for 
them vigorous constitutions and sound minds. 
Strengthen their physical powers, and you may 
then give energy to their intellects, brilliant tints 
of beauty to their persons, animation to their spi- 
rits, and grace to their manners."* 

Music is a recreation peculiarly appropriate to 
young ladies. I would have every young woman 
cultivate her taste for music. The Creator could 
have had no object in bestowing musical powers 
upon us, but that they should be developed and 
trained to execution. Music exercises the mind, 
and has a purifying and softening influence upon 
the disposition. This amusement, however, 
should not be permitted to interfere with the 
more vigorous recreations, or with the ordinary 
and useful occupations of life. 

Social parties are proper for young iadies.^ — 
They bring diflfe^rent minds, dispositions, and man- 
ners in contact, to the mutual benefit of all. The 
time at such parties, should not be frittered away in 
frivolous pursuits and idle conversation. Useful 
and interesting topics should be introduced, upon 
which the company can freely and pleasantly m- 
terchange their opinions. To instruct each other 
in desirable accomplishments and valuable infor- 
mation, should be the general object. 

* Address on Female Education, by Rev. Charier Bur- 
roughs. 



340 RECREATIONS. 

It is hardly necessary to remark, that young 
women can find at hotne, many means of profita- 
ble recreation. Numberless little attentions and 
kindnesses to parents and friends — the instruction 
and improvement of younger brothers and sisters — 
perusing aloud some valuable publication for the 
edification of the family circle — all will afford the 
purest satisfaction and enjoyment. In fine, let 
your recreations always be characterized by deli- 
cacy, discretion, and moderation, and beneficial 
results of a corresponding character, will be your 
reward. 



i 



CHAPTER IX. 

MENTAL CULTIVATION. 

That female education has heretofore been la- 
mentably deficient, is a position which admits of 
not a doubt. In past ages woman has been kept 
in a state of almost entire ignorance, in regard to 
the most important branches of human attain- 
ment, and has been compelled, in a measure, to 
occupy her attention with the trivial matters of 
life. Without pretending to decide the contro- 
verted question, whether the gentler sex are capa- 
ble of rivalling man in the highest walks of lite- 
rature, still, I do not hesitate to say, that they are 
capable of making far greater advances in every 
branch of useful knowledge, than they have hith- 
erto done ; and also that they can equal the gene- 
rality of men in mental attainments, when placed 
m circumstances equally favorable. Indeed in 
modern days, many ladies have appeared as shin- 
ing lights in the literary world. And although 
they have not so generally grappled with the ab- 
struse sciences, yet in the lighter grades of litera- 
ture — in vivid descriptions of the gentlest, purest 
and noblest characteristics of human nature — in 



342 MENTAL CULTIVATION. 

the bright pictures of the imagination — in chaste 
displays of taste and sentiment — in reproof, ad- 
monition and advice — they have not been surpass- 
ed by their male competitors. The names of 
More, Barbauld, Chapone, Aikin, Hamilton, Sew- 
ard, De Stael, Landon, Porter, Hemans, Edg- 
worth, and Martineau, in foreign lands, and of 
Sigourney, Leslie, Hale, Sedgwick, Stephens, 
Hentz, Gould, Ellet, Scott, Bodd, Edgarton, 
Broughton and Downer in our own country, will 
bear ample testimony to the high and beautiful 
capabilities of the female mind. 

Although female education, within the last half 
century, has been greatly improved, still it has 
not arrived at the perfection that is desirable. — 
The poor are engaged in such constant drudgery, 
as to be able to pay but little attention to mental 
cultivation, while the wealthy are frequently led' 
to neglect it, by attaching an undue importance 
to showy rather than useful accomplishments. 
Young ladies, as a class, are still too prone to at- 
tribute more consequence to the adorning of the 
outward person, than the cultivation of the moral 
and intellectual powers— -are too liable to imagine 
that their success in life, depends more upon 
beauty and accomplishments of person, than of 
mind. This belief many acquire, no doubt, from 
that fulsome flattery which is too generally be- 
stowed upon female personal beauty, by the other 
sex. Sq general is this practice, that meo of 



MENTAL CULTIVATION. 343 

Otherwise good sense, will frequently lend their 
aid in perpetuating this idolatry to the fleeting 
charms of outward beauty, to the neglect of those 
qualities in woman that are truly valuable. This 
conduct leads females to overlook their mental 
capabilities, to deem it of little importance to ob- 
tain those qualifications of mind and of habit upon 
which their happiness and the enjoyments of 
those connected with them will so deeply depend 
through life, and induces them to turn their whole 
attention to those charms and accomplishments, 
which are as empty and useless as the floating 
bubble. 

Young ladies should summon sufficient dis- 
crimination to perceive the origin of this adula- 
tion. They should understand that those who 
indulge in extreme flattery of their personal beau- 
ty, either possess such ignorant and shallow minds, 
4s really to believe what they say, that nothing is 
so valuable as the charms of form and feature— 
or, knowing better, they hypocritically express 
their admiration, under the supposition that you 
are so vain and weak as to be pleased by their 
empty homage ! In either case, they impugn 
your good sense, and are unworthy your confi- 
dence or respect. The attentions of the ignorant 
and of the hypocritical, should alike be discarded. 

I grant that personal beauty in a young lady, 
is an advantage ; and when united with a sweet 



344 MENTAL CULTIVATlOJ?f« 

disposition and well cultivated mind, you have 
attractions that can not but win esteem. But I 
insist th-at loveliness of person without these valu- 
able qualifications, is a misfortune rather than a 
blessing. It will surround you by the utmost 
dangers — >by fascinations and allurements, from 
which, owing to the weakness of your moral and 
mental powers, you will escape with difficulty, if at 
all. And suppose that by beauty of person alone, 
you succeed in obtaming a companion for life : 
of what value can that man be, who has been at- 
tracted by your features or form, without deem- 
ing any other qualification worthy a thought? He 
connected himself with you for your beauty, and 
he loves your beauty only. And do you not per- 
ceive that when that beauty decays, as it inevita- 
bly must, under the influence of disease or age, 
his regard will wither with it, and that the after 
years of your life, must be spent amid vain regrets 
and unavailing repinings ? " We can not help 
remembering that the ordinary period of life is 
set at seventy years. The empire of beauty sel- 
dom lasts more than ten or fifteen. What is to 
sustain the beauty who has no other possession, 
in the dreary interval, when her roses have van- 
ished with her admirers, never to return ?" If, 
then, you have been favored with personal beauty, 
add to it virtuous principles and the charms of a 
well cultivated mind, and you can then duly im- 
prove the advantages placed within your reach. 



MENTAL CULTIVATION. 345 

"It is an old remark, that the most beautiful 
women are not always the most fascinating. It 
may be added, I fear, that they are seldom so. 
The reason is obvious. They are apt to rely too 
much on their beauty ; or give themselves too 
many airs. Mere beauty ever was, and evei will 
be, a secondary thing, except with fools. The 
most fascinating women, generally speaking, are 
those that possess the finest powers of entertain- 
ing the mind. In a particular and attaching sense, 
they are those that can partake of the pleasures 
and pains of their friends in the liveliest and most 
devoted manner. Beauty is little without this. 
With it, she is indeed triumphant."* 

With the most plain and uninteresting features, 
you need not be without attractions. A well train- 
ed mind and a pleasant disposition, will put forth 
charms far more captivating to those who are capa- 
ble ofmaking you happy, and much more enduring 
than mere outward beauty. Although you may 
not attract immediate attention in first entering 
upon the stage of society, yet when your worth 
is fully appreciated, as it eventually will be, you 
will obtain a hold on the affections, that time can 
not annihilate. You will possess a loveliness 
which instead of being destroyed by sickness or 
time, will increase, and become brighter and 
brighter as age advances — securing to you, love, 

* Criticisms on Female Beauty. 



346 MENTAL CULTIVATION. 

affection, peace and enjoyment, all your days. 
The man who is won by the attractions of your 
mind and disposition, is worthy of you in every 
respect, and will be capable of appreciating all 
those excellences of the heart which confer mu- 
tual happiness, " Knowledge, virtue and truth, 
are immortal. Time, age and death, can not 
touch them. Trust me, a plain young lady with 
a sound head and a well trained mind, and an 
amiable and well managed heart, will find some 
way to aim a sharper and surer shaft, and inflict a 
more incurable wound, than a mere flourishing 
belle, who has nothing to show but her dress and 
her person." 

Beauty of face and person, and splendor of 
dress, are not to be compared in value to a well 
cultivated mind. The one is as evanescent as the 
morning cloud or the early dew ; but the other is 
as enduring as the sparkling gem of the mine. 
" There is, and there can be, nothing beautiful, 
except in so far as it is associated with mind. 
Show me a woman who knows how to converse 
pleasantly, to give judicious counsel and exhibit 
discreet management — who has the ability to know 
what to say, and how to act on any given emer- 
gency — who understands how to economize her 
wit if she has it — ^who comprehends how the ut- 
terance of scandal distorts the countenance — 
whose passions and affections are regulated, and 
who possesses the intrinsic tenderness dud truth 



MENTAL CULTIVATION. 347 

of the female character — and I will show you one 
who seems beautiful to me, whatever face she may 
happen to possess. It can not be repeated too 
often, that there is nothing truly beautiful hut mind' 
Ask a father which of his children he loves most, 
the pert and ignorant beautiful daughter, or the 
plain but sensible, docile and well instructed one ?" 
Ask an intelligent, worthy young man, with which 
of those two young ladies it gives him the great- 
est satisfaction to associate and converse, the one 
with handsome form and complexion, but with an 
empty, uncultivated mind, or her whose personal 
appearance is plain, but who is well instructed, 
and sensible ? " Ask husbands what points they 
most regard in their wives, their beauty, or their 
knowledge, amiability and good sense ? I repeat 
again, there is nothing beautiful hut mind ! If I 
were a poet, you should have it in metre and in 
song, that ?ipiony or a popjpy are as splendid flow- 
ers as the rose. But let the one and the other be 
worn in your bosom, and compare their fragrance 
and value at the end of a month. Knowledge 
compared to beauty, is the rose to the piony and 
poppy. In the family circle, and among those with 
whom we mix every day, the last thing of which 
we think, after seeing them a few times, is their 
personal beauty." Their worth is always estima- 
ted by their mental endowments and moral quali- 
ties. The witchcraft of personal beauty is soon 
dispelled by famiharity. Without attractive men- 



348 MENTAL CULTIVATION. 

tai and moral characteristics, it is impossible to 
obtain the enduring aftections of any. " Exter- 
nal allurements are continually losing ; internal 
attractions are continually gaining. Sense, spirit, 
sweetness, are immortal. All besides, withers like 
the grass." When the mind is uncultivated and 
barren, in vain is displayed the brightest eye, the 
fairest face, and the sweetest smile. But even 
though the eye possesses little lustre, or the coun- 
tenance little beauty, a well endowed, well disci- 
plined mind, will elicit admiration and love. 

'•Miiul, mind nioiio, boar witness onrtk and heaven, 
The livings foiintuiii in itself contains 
or beauteous unil sublime ! Iforo hand iu hand 
Sit paramount Iho graces." 

These remarks might be much extended, but 
it can not be necessary. I trust enough has been 
said to awaken you to the importance of studying 
to adorn the mind, and of imparting to it those 
mental and moral qualities which are so attractive 
to the eyes of the discreet and enlightened. You 
should not allow your thoughts to dwell too much 
on beauty of person, outward ornaments, or showy 
accomplishments. A proper attention to these is 
allowable ; but make them not your principal 
study — neither rely u})on them as your chief at- 
tractions to win admiration or affection. Their 
influence can attract none but weak and worthless 
minds. *' Female loveliness can not be clothed 
in a more pleasing garb than that of knowledge. 



MENTAL CULTIVATION. 349 

A female thus arrayed, is one of the most inter- 
esting objects — every eye rests upon her with 
pleasure — the learned and wise, the young and 
the aged of the opposite sex, delight in her socie- 
ty, and affix to her respect and admiration. Igno- 
rance and folly stand reproved in her presence ; 
and vice, in its bold career, shrinks abashed at her 
gaze. She moves the joy, the delight of the do- 
mestic circle ; she excites the praises, the admi- 
ration of the world. A female thus armed, thus 
equipped, is prepared to encounter every trial 
which this uncertain state may bring — to rise with 
proper elevation to the pinnacle of fortune, or 
sink with becoming fortitude, into the abyss of 
poverty — to attain with cheerful serenity, the 
highest bliss, or endure with patient firmness, the 
depths of wo." Young ladies should cultivate a 
taste for the acquisition of useful knowledge — al- 
ways selecting such subjects as will throw the 
most light upon the station you will probably oc- 
cupy, and the duties you will be called upon to 
discharge. In this manner you will lay a broad 
foundation, upon which you can reasonably rest 
the hope of experiencing much enjoyment through 
life. 



CHAPTER X. 

THE DISPOSITION. 

Situated as we are, in the midst of our fellow- 
beings, constantly mingling and holding inter- 
course with them, we are made dependent upon 
them, to no small extent, for the enjoyments of 
existence. But human nature, as developed in 
this life, is a strange medley of contradictions. 
Those faculties and propensities which the be- 
nevolent Author of our being conferred upon us 
for our benefit, frequently, from a neglect on our 
part of properly cultivating and controlling them, 
become the sources of unhappiness. Thus the 
social propensity — the desire to mingle with our 
race, which all human kind possess to a high de- 
gree — becomes the source of enjoyment or of 
wretchedness, as we duly understand and proper- 
ly cultivate its incentives, or neglect it, and allow 
it to be controlled solely by the unrestrained pas- 
sions. This social principle is possessed, in a 
peculiar manner, by females. They are, there- 
fore, deeply interested in its operations and influ- 
ences ; and it becomes a subject of no small im- 
portance to them, to know in what manner its 
highest enjoyments can be obtained. 



THE DISPOSITION. 351 

In your intercourse with your fellow-beings, 
the pleasure to be deriv^ed depends entirely upon 
the disposition which you cherish towards them. 
If you respect, esteem, and love them, your satis- 
faction in their society will be of a high degree. 
But if you envy, hate, or in any way dislike them, 
their presence becomes the source of unhappi- 
ness ; and even the thought of them, whenever it 
occurs, gives you disagreeable sensations. It is 
thus evident, that certain dispositions or feelings 
cherished towards others, are, in their influences, 
disagreed.ble and painful, while others of a differ- 
eot character, impart satisfaction and enjoyment. 
It is my object in this chapter, to notice briefly a 
few of the most prominent of these dispositions, 
of both classes. 

Envy is a disposition that frequently usurps a 
place in the mind. Its influences are of a degra- 
ding and painful character. Envy never imparted 
a pleasurable emotion to the human bosom, and 
never can — it is as contrary to its nature, as for 
ice to give out heat. It is not only a sinful dis- 
position, but one of the most foolish that the 
young can well entertain. Will envying the ap- 
pearance, condition, or possessions of any indivi- 
dual, give you the desired object ? — will it confer 
upon you wealth, or influence, or splendid dress- 
es, or any qualification, either moral, mental, or 
bodily ? Will it efloct any change for the better 
in your circumstances, even the most trifling ? 



352 THE DISPOSlTlONi 

Why, then, permit this painful and malignant 
disposition to enter your bosom ? Why make 
your heart the den of a scorpion, whose every 
sting is inflicted upon your own happiness ? Why 
voluntarily permit an enemy to enter your mind, 
and drive out those true friends, peace and con- 
tentment ? 

Do you inquire how to deter this feeling from 
taking possession of your heart, or how to cast it 
out when once therein ? I answer, by reflection. 
Reflection is a light that will reveal the true na- 
ture of this hydra, and convince you of the incon- 
sistency of cherishing it. Reflection will satisfy 
you that there is not so much to be envied in the 
world, as'many would seem to believe. To ascer- 
tain the rea»l influences upon their possessors, of 
those circumstances or possessions that are the 
most common cause of envy, we must apply to 
those who have experienced them. Ask those 
who have participated in all the enjoyments that 
power, wealth, and splendor can bestow, if they 
should be envied by those in more ordinary cir- 
cumstances. Abdoulrahman III, was one of the 
most powerful and prosperous of the Spanish 
kings of the Arabian race. Victorious and weal- 
thy—surrounded by splendor and magnificence — 
every one imagined theit he must be the happiest 
of mortals. But listen to his own account of his 
enjoyments, after reigning fifty years x " From 
the time I ascended the throne, I marked every 



THE DISPOSITION. 353 

day that afforded me true pleasure, and those 
days amounted to foivrieen /" To which he 
adds — " Mortals ! consider what this world is, and 
how little we ought to rely upon its pleasures." 
Pope Adrian VI, who arose from a poor barge- 
builder, to the Papal throne, desired the follow- 
ing inscription to be placed upon his tomb :— • 
"Heie lies Adrian VI, who deemed no misfor- 
tune which happened to him in life, so great, as 
his being called to govern." From these and 
many additional instances that might be cited, 
you perceive how entirely inadequate is power, 
or popularity, or wealth, or splendor, to confer 
happmess. Why, then, should you envy those 
who possess them ? Remember that gay dresses 
and splendid equipages, are but glittering cover- 
ings which conceal, in general, even more wretch- 
edness than tattered garments. Be content, then, 
with your condition. An honest, virtuous, and 
benevolent heart, will confer upon you a greater 
amount of pure happiness, than all the wealth of 
the world ! If your associates possess enlighten- 
ed minds and agreeable manners— if they are res- 
pected and loved by community-— envy them not, 
but do that which is much better : endeavor to 
equal them in their good qualifications, and you 
will soon share with them in the general respect. 
Jealousy is ano^iher disposition which you 
should be careful to avoid. Jealousy is justly 
termed "the green-eyed monster." It is a bitter 

23 



354 THE DISPOSITION. 

foe to human happiness — it coils in the bosom 
hke the serpent, and chokes the fountain of true 
enjoyment. If you would be blessed with peace, 
never permit jealousy to enter your mind. It 
will not only make you unhappy, but will cause 
you to do and say many things improper and 
ridiculous. Never be jealous that others are re- 
ceiving more attention and lespect than yourself. 
If they are deserving of it, you should be willing 
that they should receive what they are justly en- 
titled to ; but if they are not worthy such atten- 
tions, you may be assured they can not long com- 
mand them. And in the meantime, study to 
make yourself agreeable, by an exhibition of the 
genuine excellences of the female mind and dis- 
position, and you will have no cause of jealousy 
towards others. If your affections are placed 
upon an individual worthy of them, he vi^ill be 
careful to give you no cause for jealousy. But 
if his conduct is of that improper character as to 
afford reasonable cause for jealousy, it is a cer- 
tain indication that he is not worthy your confi- 
dence or love, and you can not too soon break off 
all intercourse with him. There is, hence, no 
justification for harboring emotions of jealousy. 
They are painful, unbecoming, derogatory to 
your character, and should be spurned from €very 
female heart. 

Young ladies should also avoid indulging ha- 
tred, anger, revenge, and all emotions of a like 



THE DISPOSITION. 355 

character. These are the baser passions of the 
human heart — exceedingly reprehensible in man, 
but in woman disgusting and horrible. What 
will more entirely eclipse the loveliness of the 
countenance, than a scowl of hatred, or a storm 
of anger ! And not only so, but how completely 
wretched do they cause those to become who in- 
dulge them ! Every improper disposition che- 
rished towards another, infuses a poison into your 
peace and happiness — so that by indulging them, 
you but injure yourself. 

The most effectual method of destroying evil 
dispositions, is by cultivating good ones. Would 
you be respected, and esteemed, and loved ? — 
would you render yourself agreeable and pleas- 
ing ? — would you be received into the circle of 
your associates, with the approving smile of 
friendship and approbation ? There is but one 
way to accomplish this, and that is, by adding to 
a virtuous character, a kind, friendly, and bene- 
volent disposition. How much these add to the 
attractions of a beautiful form and features ! and 
how engaging do they cause the most plain and 
ordinary to appear, who exhibit them in their 
conduct ! If you desire to be unesteemed, dis- 
liked, avoided — if you desire to be filled with 
anxiety and wretchedness — then you should be ill- 
tempered, morose, unkind, and uncharitable. But 
if you would secure the friendship and good will 
of others— -if you would open in your own bosom 



356 THE DISPOSITION. 

a fountain of unfailing satisfaction — exhibit to- 
wards those with whom you associate, kindness, 
condescension, gentleness, forbearance, and even- 
ness of temper, and you can not fail of accom- 
plishing your object. What can be more capti- 
vating in a young lady, than a constant exhibition 
of kind emotions towards all around her — than a 
disposition to oblige, to make herself useful to 
her friends and all connected with her, and to dis- 
play a placid sweetness of demeanor, that no cir- 
cumstance can ruffle or disturb ? And how en- 
chantingly lovely is a young woman overflowing 
with pity and benevolence for the poor and un- 
fortunate ! A lady who has a cold, unfeeling 
heart — who can look unmoved upon sorrow, and 
want, and distress, while she is surrounded by 
comfort and plenty — is an anomaly ! AVith such 
a disposition, of what avail are her fair complex- 
ion, and faultless features, and symraetixcal form? 
Every lovely attribute, when covering a heart of 
stone, becomes repulsive and abhorrent to the 
generous, and noble mind. She is a " scentless 
flower, which shall blossom without esteem, and 
fall without regret !" But the female whose 
heart is susceptible of emotions of pity and gene- 
rosity — who is eager to assuage misfortunes and 
relieve distress — adds a crowning excellency to 
her attractions, that can not fail to win admiration 
and esteem. If young ladies would promote their 
own prosperity and happiness, they must look 



THE DISPOSITION. 357 

well to the dispositions they cherish. Let them 
eradicate all that is evil, and cultivate whatever is 
virtuous and good — let them exhibit "affability of 
manners, gentleness of demeanor, attention to the 
courtesies of life, compassion towards all who 
suffer, whether high or lov/, a kind construction 
of all the words and actions of their fellow-crea- 
tures, and patient forbearance, or generous for- 
giveness towards those who have grieved or in- 
jured them," and they will thus lay a safe and 
sure foundation for peace and happiness. 



CHAPTER XI. 

CONVERSATION. 

It is a prevalent supposition that ladies possess 
the faculty of "ready utterance," in a higher de- 
gree, as a general rule, than the other sex. This 
position is strengthened, when we consider the 
fluency and ease with which females, when unem- 
barrassed, communicate their thoughts. But 
this fluency of speech, when unguarded and un- 
restrained, becomes, not unfrequently, the fruit- 
ful source of evil. The character and prospects 
of ladies, depend much upon the matter and 
the manner of their conversation. To be ena- 
bled to select proper and useful subjects for 
conversation, and to express themselves in an ap- 
propriate and pleasant manner, are accomplish- 
ments which every young female should strive to 
acquire, and the possession of which, will tend 
greatly to her advantage in society. 

It is true, nature is diversified in her gifts in this 
respect, as well as in others. To some she gives 
a greater aptitude or capability of expressing their 
ideas in a fluent and graceful manner — while 
others find it difficult to speak in a mode satisfac- 



CONVERSATION. 359 

tory to themselves, or pleasing to others. But as 
appropriateness in conversation, depends not 
more upon the manner of speaking, than upon 
the character of the thoughts expressed, nature 
frequently equahzes her endowments, by giving 
unto those who are " slow and lame of speech," 
clear, strong, and expanded minds— so that the 
deficiency in their utterance, is more than coun- 
terbalanced by the value of the sentiments they 
express. However, the faculty of conversation is 
capable of great improvement. By proper appli- 
cation and attention, the most deficient in this 
respect, can learn, not only the proper subjects of 
conversation, but also to speak in an appropriate 
and agreeable manner. 

That there are evils growing out of an igno- 
rance upon this subject, admits of not a doubt. 
How much unhappiness has been caused by im- 
proper language. Who has not experienced the 
evils flov/ing from even one " unruly tongue" in 
the neighborhood ? How many misunderstand- 
ings, difficulties, feuds, animosities — how much 
contention, and discord, and warring — have been 
caused by " the little member," when it is " full 
of deadly poison !" Not only has society expe- 
rienced these evils, but they have extended them- 
selves to kingdoms. Nations have been involved 
in long and bloody wars, originating solely in the 
utterance of a harsh expression, or an unguarded 
sentence. 



360 CONVERSATION. 

My suggestions upon this subject must neces- 
sarily be of a general character, relating more 
particularly to public intercourse, than to conver- 
sation with intimate friends and relatives in the pri- 
vate family circle. Although in the latter case, the 
spirit, and in most instances the letter, of the re- 
marks that follow, should be strictly observed. 

In conversation, guard against raising your 
voice to a high key. Young ladies fre quently over- 
look this precaution. In the hilarity of their spi- 
rits, they are liable to indulge in a volu me of voice, 
which, were they alone, would startle them. The 
improprieties of this practice, must . be evident. 
It is highly indelicate. There is a certain mo- 
desty and reserve which young ladies can no 
more overstep with p ropriety, in their language 
and voice, than in their personal manners. The 
practice of loud speaking, is not only indelicate, 
but it disturbs others. What can be more disa- 
greeable than for 2i female voice to be raised to the 
alto key, and stun the rest of the company into 
silence. All eyes are rivetted upon its owner, 
and in many a discreet mind, she becomes an ob- 
ject of censure and dislike. Neither should loud 
conversation in the public street, be indulged in— 
a habit which some young ladies think quite al- 
lowable and appropriate. But it is an offence 
against delicacy and propriety. Young women 
of commendable modesty^ will be cautious how 
they attract the gaze of the throng in the public 



CONVERSATION. 361 

Streets, by their loud speech, or rude behavior. 
You can not be too circumspect in your demean- 
or in pubUc. An indiscretion, either in word or 
action exhibited there, is noticed by many, who 
will set it down much to your disadvantage. 

Equally to be avoided is an affected, lisping, or 
drawling manner of speaking. By some, this is 
considered exceedingly polished and lady-like. 
But in this they greatly err. The real lady stu- 
dies to speak naturally^ and that is ever gracefully. 
An affected tone or pronunciation, evinces a 
weak mind — so weak, indeed, as to resort to this 
outward mincing, to establish pretensions to gen- 
tility, instead of exhibiting those emotions of 
kindness and urbanity, which are the unfailing 
indications of genuine politeness. You greatly 
mistake, if you imagine your claims to the cha- 
racter of a lady, can be established by affectation. 
This, so far from gaining you the esteem and 
respect of the listeners, will make you appear in- 
sipid and simple— devoid of taste and good sense. 
Many young ladies, by vain affectation in their 
language and manners, have often created dis- 
gust, where they might otherwise have gained 
respect. I repeat, in your conversation, speak in 
your natural tone of voice, and with a pronuncia- 
tion clear, distinct, and correct. Lexicographers, 
as well as people of different countries and com- 
niunities, vary in regard to the rules of pronun- 
ciation. Johnson and Walker, are both deficient 



362 CONVERSATION. 

in many respects. Webster is more chaste and 
natural, and in this country, is rapidly becoming 
the general standard of pronunciation. 

Be upon your guard against engrossing too 
much of the conversation in company. When 
you reflect how often the most guarded speak in 
a manner which they afterwards regret — how of- 
ten they converse on subjects, and relate circum- 
stances, and circulate reports that are improper — 
you Avill perceive the dangers which surround the 
unguarded and talkative ; and you will also per- 
ceive the necessity of allowing the judgment to 
hold with firm grasp, the reigns of the tongue, 
that nothing of an injudicious character may be 
uttered. In company, if you can not speak to 
the purpose — if your tongue is liable to run away 
with your sense — the less you say, the better. 
But if you can converse in a judicious and sensi- 
ble manner, you still should avoid speaking too 
much, because others may have a desire to ex- 
press their sentiments, as well as yourself. Few 
people have an inclination to remain silent by the 
hour, to listen to your words, however proper 
they may be ; but all desire to bear a part in the 
general flow of social conversation. I would not 
recommend an entire reserve, a total silence — 
this would be as much an extreme as volubility — 
though not so dangerous. Every young woman 
should exercise her judgment in this respect, and 
take such part in the general conversation, as cir» 



CONVERSATION. 363 

cumstances and propriety dictate. However, " it 
were far better to leave a circle wishing, from 
what you have actually said, that you had said 
more, than out of patience with you for having 
talked so much." 

Young ladies should avoid conversing even in 
whispers, in assemblies convened for the worship 
of God, or for any public lecture. This practice 
is highly reprehensible. It disturbs both the 
speaker and. the audience — especially those in 
your immediate vicinity. There is no greater 
manifestation of a lack of politeness, than this. 
When I behold young people, on such occasions, 
inattentive to the subjects that should engross 
their entire attention, and engaged in frequent 
whisperings, I instantly set them down as youth 
extremely ill bred, and entirely destitute of the 
most ordinary rules of decorum ! 

Never allow yourself to speak evil of another, 
without the most ample evidence of their guilt. 
Mankind, in their best estate, are liable to err. 
There is enough, therefore, to be said of the real 
defects of ourselves as well as others, without at- 
tributing evil conduct to people, of which they 
are not guilty. You should be slow to believe 
reports detrimental to the good name of your 
neighbor, and still slower in spreading them 
abroad to the world. I urge you not to counte- 
nance or cover up vice — this would be very im- 
proper. But I would have you very cautious 



364 CONVERSATIOI?. 

about believing or circulating statements detri- 
mental to the reputation of another, until you are 
fully and perfectly satisfied that they are guilty 
of the misdemeanor alleged against them.-^ 
Neither withhold praise wherever it is due. It is 
a mark of a selfish and vain spirit, never to allow 
that any but yourself or your particular friends, 
possess any talent, acquirement, or worth. But 
it is an indication of a generous and noble mind, 
to give credit wherever it is due — to acknowledge 
the valuable qualities displayed even by an enemy. 
Do not allow yourself to indulge in ridiculing 
any, in regard to their dress or appearance — espe- 
cially the poor and the aged. This would evince 
an emptiness of mind, and a coldness of heart, 
deserving of deep reproof. The young lady who 
indulges in this practice, is unworthy of affection 
or respect. Having no heart to feel — no sense of 
propriety to direct — whoever becomes connected 
with her, will most certainly and keenly feel the 
evils flowing from these deficiencies. In compa- 
ny, you should avoid making any one the subject 
of much raillery, or the butt of witticisms, or en- 
deavoring to turn the laugh upon them. Those 
who indulge in these practices, often unthink- 
ingly gain enemies, when their only object was to 
cause merriment. And although it can hardly be 
necessary, yet I would caution young ladies 
against expressing themselves in coarse language, 
or interlarding their conversation with degrading 



CONVERSATION. 365 

epithets, or illustrating their views with low com- 
parisons. I need not say that all these practices 
are opposed to female delicacy and propriety. 

In conversation, always endeavor to be agreea- 
ble, pleasant, and sensible. These are no small 
additions to the attractions of a young lady. In 
company it is not inappropriate to engage occa- 
sionally in grave and serious conversation, yet, 
generally, the topics should be of a cheerful cha- 
racter, as the object of assembling in company, is 
to confer mutual enjo yment and satisfaction. But 
in allowing the conversation to be cheerful, care 
should be taken not to permit it to degenerate 
into the frivolous or ridiculous. The amusing 
and instructive should both be blended together, 
so as equally to interest and improve those who 
converse and those who listen. It is time wasted 
to engage in conversation that has not a tendency 
to enlighten and improve. 

To have your conversation interesting to others, 
it is necessary that you possess a well cultivated 
and well stored mind. Without this pre-requisite, 
there is danger that it will be insipid and irksome 
to the discriminating. In despite of all precau- 
tion, the true qualities of the mind will develope 
themselves in a free interchange of thought. 
While the weakness and imbecility, the selfish- 
ness and vanity, of the ignorant and untrained 
mind, will become clearly visible- — on the other 
hand, the disciphne and cultivation, the intrinsic 



366 CONVERSATION. 

excellences and valuable acquirements of the 
enlightened understanding, will, without effort, 
brightly shine forth, and add beauty and interest 
to the possessor. This should be an additional 
inducement to influence young women to turn 
much of their attention to mental cultivation. 

You will beware of egotism, as much as possi- 
ble. Let self, with its importance, its accom- 
plishments, and all its wonderful achievements, 
be forgotten in the desire either to please, interest, 
or instruct those with whom you converse, or in 
a disposition to learn from their superior wisdom 
or experience, wherein you was before deficient. 

Avoid the appearance of pedantry. Your ta- 
lents and acquirements should not be devoted to 
display alone, but to the instruction and edifica- 
tion of those with whom you associate. When- 
ever, therefore, you converse with those whose 
attainments are limited, instead of makmg a pom- 
pous display of your knowledge, and speaking in 
a strain above their comprehension, interspersed 
with hackneyed expressions, or quotations from a 
foreign language, or v/ith scraps of poetry, you 
should accommodate yourself to their capacities, 
and speak in a plain, simple, instructive manner, 
which they can understand and appreciate. It is 
one of the characteristics of a discriminating and 
enlightened mind, to know how to accommodate 
itself to the condition, employment, and capaci- 
ties of those with whom it converses, so that it can 



CONVERSATION. 367 

impart and receive information, by an exchange 
of thought with the most ignorant. 

Always give the strictest adherence to truth. 
How dark is the stain cast upon the character of 
the young lady, who is known to deviate from the 
straight line of truth. Veracity is one of the 
brightest jewels of the female character. Never 
allow it to be sullied under any pretence whatever. 
But by a strict adherence to truth in all cases, 
erect a strong pillar for the upholding of a spot- 
less reputation. 

Some young ladies, who reside in our cities 
and villages, when visiting their friends in the 
country, often exhibit a great lack of discretion 
and propriety. While speaking lightly, and per- 
haps contemptuously, of the plain appearance, 
dress, or habits of the people of the country, the 
constant themes of their conversation, are the 
fashions, amusements, and the superior refine- 
ment of a city life. Every thing in city or village 
is extolled, while all in the country is cried out 
against, as outlandish and vulgar. At social par- 
ties, and often at church, their whole time is 
spent in pointing out, and making remarks upon, 
the alleged boorish appearance and manners of 
the people. It is tjruly surprising that young la- 
dies who indulge in these practices, do not per- 
ceive their impropriety — do not perceive that this 
conduct shows an entire lack of good breeding, 
of genuine politeness and gentility — do not per- 



368 CONVERSATION. 

ceive how evident they make it appear, that those 
very country people w^hom they ridicule as so far 
removed from fashion, are immensely above them 
in every valuable and useful qualification, in every 
trait of real urbanity and politeness.* Such 
young ladies should be aware that in this manner 
they make themselves perfectly ridiculous, and 
that in the eyes of the discriminating, they are the 
ones who are deficient in the most valuable quali- 
fications of ladies. In visiting the country, you 
should go as learners, and not as instructors — for 
there are many valuable lessons, not only in in- 
dustry, economy and taste, but also in the rales 
of propriety and good manners, that you can 
learn in the country, and profitably put into prac- 
tice when you return. And you should avoid 
pressing upon your country friends, your peculiar 
viev/s of fashion and manners, which too often 
originate in the degrading corruptions of the 
town — and, in general, allude to them no farther 
than to answer inquiries relating to them. Fash- 
ions deeply bordering on indelicacy, are some- 
times tolerated by the vitiated taste of the city ; 
but those who should adopt them where the 
purer and more modest taste of the country pre- 
vails, would be justly subjected to ridicule and 
scorn. 

*See definition of politeness, in " A Voice to Youth," 
chapter viii. 



MARRIAGE. 385 

be to subject yourself, in all human proba- 
bility, to poverty and all its accompanying evils. 
If he possesses no property at the commence- 
ment of matrimonial life, you may be assured 
there is little probability of his thriving after- 
wards. The young man who, under ordinary 
circumstances, has not sufficient industry and en- 
ergy to acquire some property before marriage, 
will not be likely to do so with the cares and ex- 
pences of a family upon him. Even if he has 
some possessions, there is no certainty that /he 
xvill long retain them. He who is too indolent to 
acquire property, will be too negligent to retain, 
for any great length of time, that which he may 
already possess. 

Be equally cautious not to marry a spendthrift. 
The same, or worse consequences will follow this 
indiscretion, as m the instance last referred to. 
The spendthrift may be industrious — people of 
this character often are — but of what avail is his 
industry, if he squanders the fruit of his exertions 
in some frivolous and useless manner, as fast as 
it accumulates? He may be wealthy ; but the 
riches of such a man are as the early dew before 
the rays of the sun — they will speedily vanish 
away, and leave poverty and wretchedness be- 
hind—the more keenly felt, because of former 
prosperity. And, besides, the spendthrift, in his 
extravagance, is hable to, and usually does, ac- 
25 



386 MARRIAGE. 

quire vicious habits, which accelerate the ruin 
and seal the misery of himself and his family. 
You can ascertain without difficulty, the charac- 
ter of a young man, in this respect. If he ex- 
pends all his income in vain amusements, while 
he is single, you may be quite certain he will 
continue a course as bad, or even worse, after en- 
tering the marriage state. " I have in my eye at 
this moment, an accomplished female, (and it 
were easy to adduce a thousand similar cases,) 
who married a man of vast wealth, but of prodi- 
gal habits ; and years have passed away since that 
immense fortune has gone to the winds ; and the 
last remains of it were squandered amidst the 
tears, and in spite of the tender and earnest ex- 
postulations of a suffering family. And now, if I 
should look for that once rejoicing and apparently 
foriunate bride, I should go to an obscure cabin 
of wretchedness, and should find her laboring 
with her own hands, to provide bread for her more 
than orphan children, and she would tell me a 
tale of wo, which, however familiar to me, would 
make me sit down and weep. This same man, 
who has plunged her and her little ones into so 
much wretchedness, possesses many naturally 
amiable qualities, and is gifted with enviable pow- 
ers of mind, but, unhappily, in early life, he be- 
came a spendthrift ; and on this rock the fortunes 
of himself and of his family were wrecked. If 
you should ever give yourself to a man of similar 



MARRIAGE. 387 

character, you need not be disappointed if you 
should experience a similar destiny."* 

Never marry an intemperate man. This is a 
precaution that young ladies can not be too care- 
ful to observe. How many, by neglecting this 
admonition, have been plunged into the deepest 
misery ! Of all the evils that afflict the marriage 
state, intemperance stands in the front rank. It 
transforms the kind and loving husband into a sa- 
vage brute — the tender and affectionate father into 
an unfeeling tyrant. Oh ! how much evil, how 
much dark, cruel wretchedness, has been carried 
into the happiest family circles, by intemperance ! 
It has cast the mildew of despair upon the fairest, 
brightest hopes of life ! It has caused shivering 
poverty to creep in, with its rags, its hunger, and 
want, where formerly all was plenty, comfort, and 
peace. What must be the wretchedness of that 
family where the cheek of the wife pales with 
dread, and the children flee from the house, or 
cling tremblingly to the mother for protection, 
when the inebriated husband and father reels to- 
ward his miserable home ! In the phrenzy of 
intoxication, he beats his defenceless and heart- 
broken wife, tramples upon his innocent offspring, 
and demolishes whatever is valuable within his 
reach, unmindful alike of tears, and entreaties, 
and supplications. If there is any thing that can 

* Daughter's Own Book, 



388 MARRIAGE » 

approach the character of the fabled demon, it is 
man in the wild paroxysms of drunkenness ! 

Young woman, I beg you, listen to me ! As 
you value your peace and happiness — as you va- 
lue respectability and good standing in commu- 
nity — form a firm, uneffaceable determination, in 
the deep recesses of your soul, never, never to 
become the companion of a man given to intem- 
perance I Yea, I beseech you to go still farther, 
and firmly resolve not to marry a man who is ac- 
customed, habitually, to drink intoxicating liquors 
as a beverage, of whatever character, or however 
temperately or discreetly ! The great danger is, 
you have no assurance, and can have none, that 
he who drinks moderately now, will not hereafter 
become involved in the deepest abyss of intempe- 
rance. He is travelling the very way, and ihe 
only way, that leads to it — the way which all in- 
temperate men pursued in their downward career. 
In what possible manner (except by total absti- 
nence) can you become satisfied that he will not, 
ere long, be one among their wretched number ! 
You should not accept, nor give any countenance 
to the addresses of a '•^drinking''' young man. 
Even after you have become " engaged," if you 
ascertain that your intended companion is given 
to habits of intemperance, you would be justified 
by every equitable law, human and divine, in im- 
mediately dissolving the engagement. But I can 
not enlarge upon this important topic. Young 



MARRIAGE. 



389 



ladies of good sense, must perceive that their 
safety and happiness demand that they should 
avoid all connexion with men of intemperate ha« 
bits. Better, infinitely better, remain in " single 
blessedness" all your days, than to place yourself 
in a condition to be made wretched by a drunken 

husband ! 

I think ii not improper or unnecessary, that 
young ladies should take into consideration the 
health of those who would become united to 
them. I know of no good reason why a young 
woman should be connected with a man who, 
from constitutional causes, is, or probably soon 
will be,* incapacitated to superintend a family. 
You should endeavor to exercise proper precau- 
tion upon this point. It is true, all are liable to 
disease, and its unhappy consequences ; and all 
I would caution you respecting this subject, is, to 
act prudently in regard to placing your affections 
upon an individual who is laboring under a con- 
stitutional and incurable disease, which would 
probably be transmitted to his offspring.* 

In selecting a husband, you should not be too 
fastidious in regard to his personal beauty, his oc- 
cupation, or the amount of his property. These 
are unimportant circumstances, provided all other 
qualifications abound. He may be plain in per- 
son, yet beautiful in moral and mental accom- 

^See Combe's Constitution of Man. 



^^^ MARRIAGE, 



plishments. He may be poor in property, yet 
rich in affection, kindness, and all those sodal 
qualifications that minister so highly to domestic 
happiness— and as to the want of property, it is an 
evil that can, in general, soon be removed by in- 
dustry and economy. His occupation may be of 
a common order, but if it is proper and useful, it 
will not lessen your respect in the eyes of the en- 
lightened and discreet. 

While there are many qualifications that would 
be pleasing in a husband, there are some indis- 
pensably requisite. He should be engaged in some 
laudable occupation or profession— he should be 
industrious, economical, honest— of good habits, 
of a kind and benevolent disposition, strictly mo- 
ral and temperate, and should possess an unwa- 
vering belief in the doctrines and precepts of the 
Gospel of Jesus Christ. He who is destitute of 
any of these qualifications, should be avoided. 
But with a young man who possesses these cha- 
lacteristics, you may rationally anticipate a happy 
union, and a life of as much enjoyment as is usu- 
ally allotted to mortals in this mutable world. 

This " Voice" to the Young, now ceases. If 
its tones have, in any degree, enlightened the 
minds of my readers, infused a virtuous influence 
mto their hearts, or opened their eyes to dangers 
that surround them, the object for which it has 
been sounded, is accomplished. 



CHAPTER XII. 

SELr-GOVERNMENT. 

The iniportance of self-government, to young 
ladies, is so perfectly evident, that it is unneces- 
sary to enter upon a labored argument to prove a 
point so clear. Having endowed us with all the 
powers and faculties necessary for our enjoyment 
and usefulness, our Creator enjoins it upon us to 
bring these capabilities into a proper activity, and 
to allow the mental and moral powers to exercise 
that guidance and control, for which they are so 
peculiarly adapted. Self-government, therefore, 
is a necessary duty, devolving upon us from our 
constitution and condition. A faithful discharge 
of this duty, is one of the most effectual means of 
securing the highest earthly prosperity and en- 
joyment ; but its neglect will as effectually in- 
volve you in the deepest wretchedness. Know 
thyself, and control thyself, are two injunctions 
fruitful in blessings. If self-government is neces- 
sary for young men, how much more important 
is its exercise to young women !— how absolutely 
essential to their character and general safety ! 
Without its controlling influence, you may ima- 
24 



^^^ SELF-GOVERJVMENtr. 



gme yourself free, but you are in imminent dan^ 
ger of a miserable vassalage, a degrading bondage 
to every evil principle, every debasing passion. 
Without it, although you may, for a season, re- 
mam respectable, yet you have no assurance that 
ruin and wretchedness will not speedily overtake 
you. Indeed, without a firm and decided self- 
government, it is impossible for you long to retain 
a good character, and a common proportion of 
happiness. 

The basis of strict self-government, rests upon 
a knowledge of your own nature, the character of 
your wants, and the proper manner of supplying 
them, and an enlightened understandmg of the 
moral and religious instructions of the Gospel of 
Jesus Christ. A greater or less air.ount of igno- 
rance upon these points, will, in a proportionate 
degree, mvolve you in a debasing thraldom to the 
animal propensities, and dim the lustre of your 
higher nature. But become enlightened upon 
these points, and to the same extent will you be 
enabled to restrain and control the various pas- 
sions which pertain to your bodily constitution. 
A perfect self-government is no trivial achieve- 
ment. " He that is master of his own spirit, is a 
hero indeed." But it is much easier to obtain 
this victory in youth, than in more advanced life. 
If you commence early a habitual self-control, 
the passions are easily brought under proper re- 
straint, and you can govern them through life 



SELF-GOVERNMENT. 371 

without difficulty. But delay until they have ob- 
tained an ascendancy over your higher nature, 
and you can not succeed in reducing them to the 
control of the mental and moral faculties, without 
an arduous and afflicting struggle. There need 
be no ignorance respecting the manner of exercis- 
ing and enforcmg self-control ; for nature has af- 
forded you every needed requisite^ The propen- 
sities prompt to a certain action, and urge its 
comraission. The mental faculties enable you 
to discover the real nature of the act, and point 
to the consequences which will flow from it — and 
the moral powers will indicate its character, 
whether right or wrong, good or evil. Now, self- 
ffovernment consists in abiding by, and enforcmg, 
the decisions of the mental and moral powers. 
But by giving way to the promptings of the pro- 
pensities, in violation to the dictatesof the higher 
faculties, you destroy self-control, and unfailingly 
become involved in wretchedness. 

From these reflections, you perceive that self- 
government should first be exercised upon the 
thoughts. Indeed, I may safely say, this is its 
entire field of operations. Few, if any, actions, 
good or bad, are performed, that are not the sub- 
ject of a mental process— so that the action par- 
takes of the character of the thought. To have 
the actions right, then, the thoughts must be 
pure— and to obtain this purity, the thoughts 
must be under the guidance of the mental and 



372 SELF-GOVERNMENT. 

moral powers, and above the swaying influence of 
the passions. Many seem to imagine it unneces- 
sary to exercise any control over the thoughts, 
but allow them the entire range of the imagina- 
tion. " Why restrain the thoughts ?" says one 

" thoughts are harmless." Virtuous thoughts 
are harmless ; but all thoughts are not of this 
character. Those of a vicious nature, will some- 
times obtrude upon the mind, and when allowed 
to remain there unchecked, they become the pri- 
mary elements of sinful actions. But if you ex- 
ercise a proper self-government, and with firmness 
expel immediately such thoughts, when they en- 
ter the mental abode, they will then have no op- 
portunity to obtain a foot-hold, or to exert their 
poisoning and destructive influences. 

In previous chapters, I have noticed several 
subjects that might legitimately come under the 
head of self-government. As it is unnecessary to 
repeat them, it only remains for me to call your 
attention, briefly, to a few additional points, m 
regard to which it is necessary to exercise self- 
control. 

Petulance is a failing strictly to be guarded 
against. This is an unhappy state of mind, to 
which young ladies sometimes give way. To be- 
come initated at every little circumstance which 
is not perfectly agreeable— to permit the flash of 
anger to overspread the countenance at every 
trifling off'ence— will destroy the influence of the 



SELF-GOVERNMENT. 373 

loveliest personal attractions, and cause her who 
exhibits this irrascible temper, to become disa- 
greeable to herself and offensive to others. These 
outbreakings of pet'ulance, throw you entirely off 
your guard, and while the fit is on, render you 
almost as destitute of the guidance of reason, as 
the monomaniac. Yet you are as accountable 
for your conduct in these paroxysms, as in your 
calmest moments, because it is no excuse for a 
reprehensible action, that it was performed under 
the influence of anger. Many are the words and 
the actions of which you are guilty in moments 
of petulance, that you deeply regret when cool 
reflection ensues ; and in this manner you sub- 
ject yourself to ridicule and disrespect. A dispo- 
sition of this character, clouds your prospects of 
a respectable and eligible connection. Who can 
desire to be united for life, to one who gives every 
indication of speedily becoming a scold and a 
vixen ? 

There is undoubtedly much difference in natu- 
ral temperament, in regard to this disposition. 
Some are quickly excited by circumstances that 
would have but little influence upon others. But 
no one has been endowed with a disposition that 
is ungovernable. By a due cultivation of the in- 
tellectual and moral powers, and by a proper ex- 
ercise of them in self-governnient, the most irrita- 
ble disposition can be held in subjection. When- 
ever you discover your temper rising in such 



374 SELF-GOVERNMENT. 

manner as to threaten an outbreaking, bring it at 
once under the control of the higher sentiments- 
exert reflection for one moment, on the disagreea- 
ble effect and result of such a disposition, and you 
will be greatly aided in self-control. If you feel 
that your irritation is like to exceed command, 
exercise sufficient presence of mind to leave im- 
mediately the presence of the offending party, if 
possible, and the effervescence of your anger will 
be the more harmless, and will the sooner sub- 
side. It has been recommended, that when per- 
sons are becoming angry, they should speak in a 
subdued and gentle tone of voice, .which would be 
more likely to keep the passions in a calmer state. 
"A soft answer turneth away wrath,'^ says the wise 
man— and not only so, but will cause your own an- 
ger to subside. Caius Gracchus, the Roman, was 
a man of strong passions, which often led him into 
a loud and boisterous manner of speaking. To 
remedy this evil, he caused his servant, Licinius, 
always to attend him with a pitch-pipe, or instru- 
ment to regulate the voice, with directions that 
whenever his master raised his voice above a cer- 
tain pitch, he should sound a soft note on his 
pipe. This ingenious expedient had the desired 
effect of keeping Caius within the bounds of mo- 
deration. If the fair reader, when emotions of 
anger are kindling in her breast, would think of 
the pitch-pipe of Caius Gracchus, it might greatly 
assist her in allaying its outbreakings. 



SELF-GOVERNMENT. 375 

Self-government is necessary to avoid violating 
the confidence reposed in you. In your inter- 
course with your associates, many circumstances 
will be communicated to you with injunctions of 
secresy. There are some who, it would seem, 
are entirely incapable of keeping a secret any 
length of time. The moment they obtain it, al- 
though, perhaps, profuse in protestations of in- 
violabili'ty^ they are as restless with their charge, 
as though they were pressing coals of fire. They 
give themselves no peace, day nor niglat, until the 
privacy is divulged in a delightful gossip with 
some othei secret-hunter, who receives it with 
like promises of silence, only to be again broken 
in like manner. Others receive confidential com- 
munications, with an honest mental resolve that 
they will not divulge them. But in an unguarded 
moment, the secret is revealed to some intimate 
friend, from whom it flies to another, and another, 
until it finally becomes entirely public. This 
imbecility is wholly owing to a lack of self-gov- 
ernment. There is much prudence to be observed 
in receiving communications of a confidential cha- 
racter. You should never pledge your word to 
keep a secret, until you ascertain something of its 
nature— or should never make such pledge, with- 
out a reservation against concealing any fact that 
duty would require you to divulge. If reports 
are repeated to you, calculated to injure the cha- 
racter or peace of an innocent individual, however 



376 SELF-GOVERNMENT. 

Strong may be the injunctions to seeresy, you 
should unhesitatingly reveal them to the person 
to whom they relate, that wrong may be prevent- 
ed or remedied. But when a friend reposes con- 
fidence in you, and communicates information 
which no clear duty calls upon you to divulge 
you should lock the secret in your breast, and 
never, without permission, reveal it to the most 
mtimate companion. Under these circumstances, 
you should strictly conform to the golden rule 
and keep the secrets of another, as you would 
have another keep yours. And by exercising that 
self-control which all can command, you can sue- 
ceed in this determination, to a most perfect de- 
gree. While upon this subject, permit me to re- 
mark, that it is exceedingly improper to importune 
or endeavor, in any way, to wring from others, 
secrets which they desire not to divulge. Pc 
liteness and propriety direct, whenever an evident 
disinclination is manifested to reveal any thing of 
a confidential nature, that you should forbear 
further solicitations, and remain silent in respect 
to it. 

Strive to be contented with your condition. "A 
contented mind is a continual feast," says the old 
maxim truly. Contentment is an unceasing foun- 
tain of enjoyment. Without it, all conditions, 
however elevated or prosperous, are alike bairen 
of happiness. In this manner— under the influ- 
ence of contentment— the peasant in his cottage. 



SELF-GOVERNMENT. 377 

is often vastly more happy than the monarch in 
his gorgeous palace. 

'< Hail, blest estate of lowliness 

Happy enjoyments of such minds 
As, rich in pure contentedness, 

Can, like the reeds in roughest winds, 
By yielding, make that blow but small, 
By which proud oaks and cedars fall." 

It is important that young ladies should strive to 
be contented with their condition. The influences 
of a disposition of an opposite character, will not 
only make them unhappy, but will be liable to lead 
them into efforts to change their circumstances, 
that may be indiscreet, yea, positively dangerous. 
Wisdom and prudence dictate that they should 
qualify themselves for a faithful and useful dis- 
charge of duties, which, from any change of cir- 
cumstances, may devolve upon them ; but, in the 
meantime, to remain contented with their present 
circumstances, until opportunity shall offer for a 
prudent change. A trifling exercise of self-gov- 
ernment, in this respect, can not but be highly 

'beneficial. 

Never allow yourself to dislike those who would 
counsel you. Young people are liable to indulge 
in this feeling. Whenever parents or friends 
would dissuade them from those things that 
would exert a deleterious influence upon their 
prosperity and happiness, they sometmies l«ok 
upon them as needlessly opposing their enjoy- 
ments, and hence allow a feeling of dislike to 



^^^ SELF-GOVERNMENT. 



arise against them. But tkis is highly improper. 
I.ove those who advise you, not those who 
pra^e you," says Boileau. Think not those un- 
kmd who would caution you respecting your con- 
duct. They harbor no evil design against you- 
then- only object in counselling you, is your bene- 
ht. Had they no regard for your welfare, had 
they no interest in your peace and prosperity, 
they would remain silent. But being alive to 
your happiness-cherishing a deep solicitude that 
you should be respected and honored-they watch 
over you with careful scrutiny, and would direct 
you m those paths which, while free from danger 
will lead you into permanent peace and enjoy- 
ment. In this light should you look upon their 
admonitions. You should allow their exertions 
in your behalf, to awaken sentiments of esteem 
and gralitude, rather than dislike. And with a 
knowledge of their kind intentions, you should 
permit their advice to have a deep and abiding in- 
fluence upon you. 

Finally, study your own nature and disposition • 
learn your respective duties toward God, your 
fellow-beings, and yourself-cherish the resolu- 
tion to discharge them faithfully-and the work 
of self-government will not be difficult or irksome. 



CHAPTER XIII. 

MARRIAGE. 

While it may not, perhaps, be necessary to 
urge young ladies to reflect upon the subject of 
marriage, yet it is all-important that they should 
be counselled to reflect aright in regard to it— 
Marriage is one of the most important events m 
the life of woman. It effects a total revolution 
in her circumstances. It introduces her mto a 
new field of existence— to new scenes, duties, tri- 
als and responsibilities. Her peace, happiness, 
and prosperity, throughout the remaining portion 
of her earthly existence, depend mamly upon the 
circumstances under which she enters into this 
union. To young ladies, then, marriage should 
be a subject of deep, solemn, mature deliberation. 
It should be divested of all romantic imaginations, 
and be viewed as an event of a character so mo- 
mentous, as to give shape to their destmy-a 
change which is to decide whether theirs is to 
be happiness or sorrow, peace or wretchedness, 

through life. . 

With these self-evident remarks in view, it would 
seem quite unnecessary to caution young ladies 



^^^ MARRIAGE. 



against entering rashly and without sufficient pre- 
meditation into the married state. And yet how 
many rush blindfolded, as it were, into this con- 
nexion for life i How many, under the influence 
of some romantic, evanescent attachment, arising 
from frivolous circumstances, or the most empty 
and fleetmg attractions, confide their happiness to 
the keeping of those every way unworthy of a 
trust so important, and who are utterly incapable 
of smcere love, or generous sentiment ! A long 
hfe of contention, of bitterness, may be, of pover- 
ty and want, and degradation, too late convinces 
them of their early folly. I repeat, therefore, 
that an event of so much importance, and upon 
which depend so many serious and long continued 
consequences, should be a matter of the most 
serious and prayerful reflection to young ladies. 
And the necessity of precautionary meditation is 
strengthened in the reflection, that a mis-step in 
this event, is irreparable. When once the union 
has been formed, no awakening from a dreaming 
delusion, no discovery of mistaken views, or un- 
confirmed anticipations, or unrequited affection, 
no regret, or sorrow, or despondency, can dissolve 
Its ties and restore the deceived one to her former 
condition. A hfe deeply clouded with wretched- 
ness, IS the unavoidable forfeiture of her rashness. 
My first precaution to young ladies, in regard 
to matrimony, is not to enter upon it too young. 
Thousands of females are brought to a premature 



MARRIAGE. 381 

grave by neglect upon this point. Marriage should 
never be consummated until the body has obtain- 
ed full growth and maturity — which in females, 
is seldom before the age of twenty or twenty-two. 
A violation of this rule, induces a long train of 
evils,* as all can perceive who will make the slight- 
est observation in community. Another objec- 
tion, in addition to destruction of health, is, that 
females must arrive at years of reflection and dis- 
cretion, before they can possess that maturity of 
judgment, so essential to the efficient discharge 
of the responsible duties, which devolve upon the 
head of a family. I have endeavored to show in 
a previous chapter, the evils which flow from this 
lack of knowledge and judgment, to the lady her- 
self, and those connected with her. 

Beware of early and hasty entanglements. Ma- 
ny young ladies entertain the opinion that it is 
very romantic to fall in love at first sight. How- 
ever appropriate and delightful this may be in a 
tackadaisical novel, believe me, it is an unwise 
and very silly practice in real life, and calls in 
question very decidedly, the good sense of her 
who is guilty of it. The affections have little or 
no power of penetration and research of their own. 
They view things upon the surface, and when un- 
controlled, are captivated by wh?it appears pleas- 
ing, without any regard to intrinsic worth, or real 

* See Combe's Moral Philosophy, Lecture V. 



382 MARRlAGEi. 

merit. Hence, as appearances arc exceedingly 
deceitful, if the affections are without guide, thev 
are as liable to be centered upon a worthless ob- 
ject, if it has but a fair exterior, as upon one of 
' value. Consequently, this falling in love at first 
sight, is extremely dangerous, and should be espe- 
cially guarded agamst by young ladies. Our Cre- 
ator has placed the affections under the control of 
the intellectual powers — the reason — the judo-- 
ment— and they should be permitted to decide as 
to the worth and excellency of every object, be- 
fore the affections are allowed to settle upon it. 
In pursuing this course the result seldom foils of 
being auspicious. Young ladies should, be ex- 
ceedingly cautious to keep their affections under 
their own control, and never allow them to con- 
centrate upon an individual, until they are perfect- 
ly satisfied that he is worthy of the riches of their 
love. 

In connection with this precaution, is another 
of equal importance. Never engage in a hasty 
marriage. Many instances have transpired with- 
in my own observation, and undoubtedly, within 
the observation of the reader, where parties have 
married after an acquaintance of but a few days 
or weeks ! It is needless to dwell upon the ex- 
treine clanger of this practice — especially to the 
lady. What a consummation of imprudence and 
folly, to connect yourself for life, with one who 
is virtually a stranger — of whose character, prin- 



MARRIAGE. 



383 



ciples and habits you have no safe ground to judge 
correctly ! This is, indeed, making marriage " a 
lottery." If you imitate this example, the chan- 
ces are a thousand to one, that you will draw a 
Uank ! — yea, much worse than a blank, an unwor- 
thy and unprincipled companion ! Beware, then, 
of a hasty marriage, as you value your happiness. 
For, although, in this manner, you may possibly 
secure an ehgible connexion, yet the chances of 
a contrary result are so numerous, that prudence 
and safety will not warrant the hazard. 

Equal caution is necessary against entering into 
premature and rash engagements. They often 
lead to great evils. Before you pledge your 
" troth," you should know perfectly, the charac- 
ter of your suitor, and his prospects in hfe. And 
it is, also, highly necessary, before you make any 
engagement, to consult your parents or guardian, 
and even some intimate friend, in relation to its 
propriety. Conceal from them nothing on this 
point. If even after you are engaged, you disco- 
ver in him who pays his addresses to you, any 
new trait of character, hitherto unseen, which 
you have good reason to believe would be a bar 
to your happiness were you united with him, 
break oif the engagement immediately, and at all 
hazards. Your future peace and prosperity de- 
mand it — and justice, honor and religion will sanc- 
tion your decision ! 



384 



MARRIAGE. 



" Abhor the very idea of clandestine connexions 
as a violation of every duty you owe to God and 
man. There is nothing heroic in a secret corres- 
pondence. The silhest girls and weakest men 
can maintain it, and have been most frequently 
engaged in it. Spurn the individual who would 
come between you and your natural guardians. 
Hearken to the opinions of your parents, with all 
that deference which is due to them. Rare are 
the cases in which you should act in opposition 
to their wishes." 

Never marry a fop. By a fop, I mean a man 
whose whole attention and mind are entirely en- 
grossed by dress and exterior embellishments— he 
who views the hue or set of a garment as of 
greater importance than industry and economy, 
than honesty of intentions, purity of heart, and 
the cultivation of the mind ! Such an individual 
may possess comely features, may make a fine 
appearance, and display gentility in manners, yet 
he is swayed by no truly valuable characteristic— 
by none of that worthiness which is so essential 
to matrimonial happiness. He can not appreci- 
ate the real excellences of the female heart, and 
is incapable of cherishing pure and genuine af- 
fection. To unite your destiny with such a man, 
would be placing your happiness upon a sandy 
foundation. 

Do not marry an indolent man. To become 
the wife of an individual of this character, would 



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